Drama is Man''s Curse
Listening to: Rediscovered - Shake It
Currently Working On: Nothing. DAMN ME AND MY LAZINESS!
Reading: Stuff. o_O
Boy I'm happy. AND ANNOYED! >_>
Lets go with Happy first, since it will make me feel better for the annoyed. =D
Today, i had a B-day parety for relative only. Now, i dont like my relatives, but i gots some cool stuff:
-Total of $200
-Survivor: Season 1 (i missed this one D=)
And other tthings i forgot. xD
I will be having a party on the 16th for firends. FC-chan will be back from Germany, and she HAS TO BE THERE. I postponed it this long for her. =D
Me friend is dating someone i dont particuarly want dating her. But now...i dont know if i can call her a friend. She raely talk to me, she only talks about her new boyfriend and "Kissy Kisses"
Time to puke? ---D=
So yeah. ._.
Also, Ra-chan's school (i went there too) is being retarded. They are holding her in court for reasons i wont explain. All i can say is that they are LIIIIARS! >_<
Well, im off to bed.
OH! To clarify, the old them was depressing me and not this one. =D And a Rave is where they paly loud techno music and everyone has glowsticks to throw around and usually someone gets hurt. o_o BUT ITS FUN! XD Just watch your drinks. You could get drugged, like I did. @_@
Well then, Chrrio~ ^_^
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Sunday, June 3, 2007
Finding Cracks in this Wall called Depression
Mood: Hungry ._.
Listening to: Rediscovered - Kiss Me
Currently Working On: Getting my lazy ass on some writing @_@
Reading: Instructions on how to disect a waffle? o_o
I am actualy in a ood mood, besides the fact that Zi-kun is hungry. ;o;
To clairfy to ElvesAteMyRamen, I am currently out of school for summer. Next time I go to school will be in Flordia. T_T
Well then, why am i chipper? BECAUSE I RAVED! =D Raving is now a passion of mine, thanks to FC-chan. =D I gotts glowysticks, Pacifiers, and mouth lights (Weeird things they are). I raved at Rissa's party! =D it was such a cool party. I met some of her cool friends, like Chad and Brad. Man those guys can skate! O.O We went to the FunDome. @_@ Twas fun. =D (I used this face alot in this paragraph)
To FC-chan...OYG! I WANT TO TALK TO THEM SO BAD! IT WOULD BE SO AMAZING! 8D---
Wel, i shall be changing my theme soon! I am not really depressed and this theme is making me...depressed? o.o
Well, i shall go for now! *poof!*
o.o Im still here. xD
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Saturday, June 2, 2007
Lonely and Tired...Bad Combo
Mood: Lonely and Tired (lol)
Listening to: NobodyKnows+ - Hero's Come Back
Currently Working On: StepMania Song
Reading: Stepmania Notes @_@
I'm actually doing better, now that school is over. I had a final stand off with Darell. We looked at each other deeply and he hugged me so tenderly...*Sigh* Im going to miss him...
Also, I am going to miss my friends. We had a big Anime Club party at this huge Reception Hall. It was so much fun, but there were some bad things:
1) People kept putting ice down my shirt. Funny the first time. Annoying the 10th time. @_@
2) I had to say goodbye to alot of my friends
3) I had to say goodbye to Sarah, who has been one of my closest friends at school. She got me into so many things...Yaoi (I was already into yaoi, but she got me really obsessed. xD), DDR, Alot of different anime, ect. I can truly say i will miss her. She even let me sit in her car before she left. Really nice car. ^^ But seriously...
Also, each day, with Adia (Who is now Fairy Coward [Lets call her FC-chan].) in Germany, I get more and more depressed. I want to see her so bad right now, its not even funny. I have tons of friends, but she is like a sister to me. I am either thinking about her at home or at a friends. Most people think i like her "in that way", but the love I have for her is not like that. We are Soul Siblings, and nothing will change that.
*sigh* Also, StepMania is SUCH a bitch. First, I had to put the song on there, then make a logo and GET IT TO APPEAR, then make a background to show during the song and MAKE IT FUCKING APPEAR (GRR!), and now, i have to add each arrow in and to make sense. FUN! I hope it's worth it. lol
Well, dears(Yeah I called you dears. No im not an old perv. xD), I can truthfully say i am fucking tired. @_@ So imma go to bed.
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Sunday, May 27, 2007
Feelings of Confusion In Sorrow . . .
Mood: Read the Topic xD
Listening to: What's Going On?-NobodyKnows+
Currently Working On: ALOT!
How are you all? I guess im ok...Deryl appoligized and now we are firends. Isnt that great? No.
While we talk and hang out and stuff, stupid me feels like im going to ruin the new friendship. I still like him. When he comes around me, i feel weak at the knees. We he walks by, i long for him to touch me the way he used to. But I feel I may never have that back. All because he wanted a girlfriend. *sigh* Life stinks. "Why cant you just get over him?" is probably what your thinking. It's not that simple, for you see, Deryl reminds me of my ex boyfirend Noel. His persona, the way he touches me...just about everything. When me and Deryl went out, I though it was Noel reincarnated just for me. Anyway, back to noel. THe reasons we broke up was...well, he was hit by a car. Sucks, I know. I bawl my eyes out everytime i say it, like now. *Sigh* And Deryl is making me feel this way. I still need him...
Enough about him though...Like the new layout? I think it fits pretty well, depressing as it may be. I did fail. Both Noel and Deryl...
Well, a good thing, i will still be here when Adia returns from Germany. =D I am going to hang with her SO MUCH. I miss her alot. T_T
Well, It's off to bed with another night of crying myself to sleep. Joyous, ne? *sigh*
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007
L o ve Is Just A F a i r y Tale . . .
Listening to: Forgiven
Currently Working On: ++Memories++ Ch. 5
Reading: Nothing at the Current Moment
I feel betrayed...
Darell (Lets stil call him Deryl) brok eup with me...that was fast wasn't it? I shouldn't be so affected, right? Well, I am.
He reminded me so much of my past lover, who was hit by a car. But if i go into, i wil cry more than i already am. I thought i was over this, but it's hard to let him go...
He wanted a girlfriend along with me. I told him no. He said he wasn't ready for a "Public Boyfriend". I asked if his rep was more important. He said yet. Crushed little Zi-kun, thrown away like a rag doll...
And i STILL find myself attached to him. I looked up his myspace, called him. Damnit. What the hell is wrong with me...
I put a new layout on myspace to fit my mood. I will probably change the layout on here soon...
*sigh* I wish i could just say, "I'm over this", but i cant. Something is wrong with me. Damnit...My friends tell me that I'm too good for him, and they are right, but i still feel like this was somehow my fault...I could have done something...Yet didn't. I know that isnt true, but one can't help but think, ne?
Life in general isn't good at the moment. I am doing good in German, World Civ Honors, and Art, but Engilsh II, the class i expected to pass with ease, i have a D. And i plan to be a writer. Also, my mom is so stressed out, she takes it out on me...She talks of Divorce with her husbad, Suicde because of me...Great self-Esteem booster.
Not to mention, my best friend, Adia, is going to Germany for part of the Summer, but I'm afraid i will already be moved to Flordia and wont see her for awhile...*Sigh*
Well, I have to go to bed. The ONLY good thing going for me is I'm going to Ultimatelifeform's around 7 in the morning, away from all this shit...Also, Adia is going to visit before she leaves. I will miss her so much.
Well then, that is all...Cherrio...
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Friday, May 18, 2007
The Longest Day
Mood: Tired as Hell
Listening to: The Sharpest Lives-My Chemical Romance
Currently Working On: Okagesamade Aiyoku Ch.1 (Anyone seeing a pattern? @_@)
Reading: Alice 19th Vol. 1
Boy have i had a long ass day! @_@
I woke up at 5 and got ready for school, but STILL didn't get there until 7:25 am, my usual time. T_T I only got a few minutes with Deryl. Then i did my regulat classes and saw deryl at lunch. Got a little bit more intimate today. ^//^
After school, i watched Naruto. It was HOT!Itachi voice and UKE!Sasuke Chibi in english. xD
Adia came over and we had a BLAST! She was stuck on Devil May Cry, so i helped her beat it. We rule! ^^ We also watched funny stuff on the computer and played pool. She truly is someone I can laugh with about anything. ^^
Well, i need sleep. *Dozes off*
Quote: Joke I Made Up
*You go to a docter who likes country after a party*
You: So Docter...How am I?
Docter: Well...It's semms after you went Honkey Tonkin'...You have fractured your Badonkadonk.
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Thursday, May 17, 2007
I am Loveless...No More.
Listening to: N/A
Currently Working On: Okagesamade Aiyoku Ch. 1 (Lazy @_@)
Reading: Narusasu Doujins o_o
I am so happy.
Like seriously, this is the happiest I have been in such a long time.
I finally found love. In Deryl. We are now currently dating! ^_________^ Hehe And I'm Uke. o_o;;;
I dont mind though. He will protect me. I swear i could stay cuddled in his arms forever. ^^
Opps, kinda being dumb. *Smacks self* @_@ Anywho, I have had a sudden urge for NaruSasu instead of Sasunaru. I like them both equally, but i usually look up SXN out of force of habit. But it sparked today and it is beautimus. ^^
School is tomorrow, so i have to go, but i dont mind. I will be with Deryl! ^^ *Smacks self again* I hae to stop that. @_@
Well then, Cherrio~ ^_~
Comments (1) |
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Mood: ...Cnfused? xD
Listening to: The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny-Lemon Demon
Currently Working on: Okagesamade Aiyoku Ch. 1
Reading: To Kill A Mockingbird *GAG*
If you are wondering about the title, i am just confused about the human body. All these emotions...Why do we have them. Now, im not saying I dont want them. I LOVE EMOTIONS! But i have to wonder why we do have them. How does our body work so insync with our minds that it responds to what we like. Or how come we cant achieve 100% brain function? Confused @_@
This all came to when when last night, I text Deryl about my feeling towards him. I'll find out what he thinks today at school...*Worried as H3LL* >_>
Well, my best friend is going to Germany for part of the summer and I may move before she gets back, so im trying to spend a much time as possible with her. *Glues self to Adia* >_>
Classes are ok i guess. I havent done my work as much, being the end o fthe year. I dunno, i just get....lazy? o_O *GASP* Ha.
My Avi! Its the same but i made it rainbowlicious! OMG! XDDDDDD Love it to death! Or you could say, "Its cool" ._. *Is Spazzing Out*
Well, I have to go to school. Oh my I feel all funny. o//o
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Saturday, May 12, 2007
Love yet Not?
Mood: Happy, yet not.
Listening to: Not Gonna Get Us-Tatu
Currently Working on: Okagesamade Aiyoku Ch. 1
I am in a current state of unknown feeling.
I talked to Deryl for like 2 hours and basically found out he has a girlfriend, but he is allowed to flirt people. I am happy he can still touch me, yet kinda sad cuz i cant really "be" with him. But i'll be ok after a few hours of crying.
Anyway, School sucked. I feel like i did bad on the test, forgot to do my homework in English, people kept on bugging me about my hat. Just...AH! >.<
Well, luckly, I am melloing out by listen to Tatu. xD
Really nothing eles going on. OH! The "Okagesamade Aiyoku" is meh new novel. If i didnt tell you already. >_> Check out the prologue on DA. =D
Well then, Cherrio~! ^_^
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Friday, May 11, 2007
Done with the fighting
Listening to: Bestfriend-Toybox
Currently Working on: Okagesamde Aiyoku
Well, the fight was resolved with everyone beign friends AGAIN. Not that its a bad thing. This is happend like 10 times now so im used to it. ._.
I still have to appoligize and recieve an appoligy from FoxofTwilight. We got in a fight and i deleted her off my list, so she hasnt been able to get through to me to tell me. I will tell her again, but if she reads this, I am sorry, Ki-chan. I hope we came become better friends. ^^
Anywho...The guy i like...I called his house yesterday and as he spoke, my heart wouldnt stop beating. Im getting to the point where its not infatuation, but love. I am truly falling in love with Deryl. <3
Today is Hat/Short/Flip Flop day at my school. Heh, last time i wore flip flops there...not a good experience to say the least, so i am wearing shorts and a hat (Wolves Rain! ^^). It cost a $1 per item, but Sophmores wear shorts for free for good attendance during testing. = D
Well, i must be off to school. Wish my luck inlove and the big tests i have to take. @_@
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