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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Hello again =D I'm back!! Re-done my layout, although knowing me it'll change again XD But for now it's staying like this, simple. As you can probably tell i've opened up a request line xD Not sure what i've exactly got myself into, but whatever lol.

I know i haven't been around alot recently, but that was due to the fact that i had no internet access, and it was truly a hassle. But now that i'm living with my mum Monday - Friday, i get the internet on weekdays! Yay!

Ok, wanna catch up on what's been happening (probably not lol)? Ok, i'm just guna copy/paste from LJ cos this is one long ass thing to re-type o.o;
Guess who's now 18 years old? Yep yep, me =D I am now an adult. Well, through age anyway. In reality i'm still immature XD Actually my birthday was way back on the 11th, but since i haven't been near the internet till a few days ago, i didn't get to post anywhere =P

The rest of this is just guna be me going through what's been happening while i've been gone, it's behind a cut just incase you don't want some long ass post on your friends page XD

Ok, before i start, i think i need to put down a few names and what they mean to me xD Otherwise when if/when you read this it won't make any sense.

Michelle = Ex-best friend. We are only mates now, and even then it's strained.
Paul = Michelle's boyfriend. I use to like him, but now he's become a moany bitch.
Chris = Paul's brother and one hell of a good friend to me. Also great friends with Phil.
Phil = Michelle's brother and my best friend =D Don't know what i'd do without him really.
Sarah = She's been a good mate to me since i first met her so many years ago. Got back in touch a good few months ago and now we regulary go out.

Well other then the usual stuff (ie me and Phil going out everyday wandering around) a few things have happened. I had a joint birthday party with Sarah (her b-day is on the 12th, a day after mine). We went out to a night club called Zens, since we're now legal to drink lol, even if i ain't a drinker, with a few mates. Unfortuantly Chris n Phil couldn't come since they ain't of legal age. But it was fun =D Danced the whole night away lol. And because of Sarah's boyfriend, Olive, who brought two of his mates, i now have someone who fancies me O.O

I thought "Hey, well we'll go out next week, and see what i feel then" because quite honestly, when i'm drunk i'm not myself (not in a bad way), but then, who is? But, love wasn't on the agenda this time. We went to a local fair the next Saturday (a whole group of us), and on one of the rides he grabbed my hand >>; I kinda freaked. It felt totally odd. Yeah, you can kinda guess that boyfriend/girlfriend relationships isn't my best subject. Anyway, it didn't feel right, not at all. I felt no 'spark' at all between us. But alas he keeps texting me, wanting to go out again. Somehow i have to tell him i ain't interested in him in that way. And i so don't wanna use the cliche "It ain't you, it's me", but ya know what? That's totally true in this case. He's funny, kind and all that good stuff, but i just don't like him.

Michelle and me have this rift between us atm because she bailed out at the very last minute on my birthday. Literally. About 10 minutes before she was meant to meet me to go and meet up with Sarah she text me saying she weren't coming, for reasons she couldn't tell me. And the thing is, she lied. There was no reason why she couldn't come, Paul actually wanted to go. The reason why she didn't come; she couldn't be bothered. And she has the cheek to make it sound like she has a good reason not to come. Michelle & Paul then went on to crash and ruin Chris n Phil's night in. Which i think is entirely unfair really. Apperantly Paul was screaming at Chris to do the laundry, at 11:30pm on a Saturday night. What?!

Other than that, things have been pretty normal. Dad's driving me crazy. Phil n me continue to take long ass walks and simply talk. Ohh but a good thing. We're dragging (not literally) Chris out more often. He use to stay in all the time, but he's coming out frequantly like he use too =D I did miss him.
Ok, there's quite abit to add to this xD But i'll do that tomorrow to save you the time of reading it all in one go lol.

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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Guess who's now offically been here 2 years? That's right, the one and only dark sephiroth. Why i joined on valentines day i don't know. I had a cool banner made n everything..but it's on my laptop which isn't here, and i can't be bothered to make another one. Yes. I am lazy. And atm...i'm completely fucking bored it's unreal!! Save me from this boredom!

Trying to sort out the details for my 18th birthday party. Well mine n Sarah's joint b-day party =P Can you believe i'll be 18 soon? How cool neh. Guna go get hammered with some of the girls lol, then go clubbing =D Goota try n find some white sashes that say "Happy 18th Birthday" or something.

Anyway, dunno what else to say so...bye!

Ohh and to you lovers n haters: Happy Valentines Day ♥

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Friday, January 27, 2006

Can't stay too long cos i need to go pick my sister up soon from Southampton with my mum, and it takes 3-4hrs to get there >>; Long car ride lol. But i'm bored so hey. Hopefully she's guna come with me to sign up, today or tomorrow, not sure.

Hehe, Stephen just put like 3 letters beside me XD Finally got my Pin card number then. I feel so mature lol. Haha, just got the number and it tells you to destroy the slip afterwards, so i set it alight XD And when i struck the match some random lil fireball come off and flew at me lol! Brilliant.

I don't know when i'll have my site up =/ Apperantly the domain people are being bastards and taking forever, so i doubt i'll have it up before i have to go back to dad's. Well, i don't *have* to go back to dad's, it's just Phil's complaining that i ain't on 'ends', since he's finally allowed out of his house =P Aww well, he can have some alone time with his GF, i have some things to sort out lol.

Just looking around me and i have about 5 different letters from the bank, fucking hell they send ya alot of shit don't they XD Do they actually expect me, a person with the attention span of a fish, to sit there and read all that boring crap? I have about a billion new numbers to friggin' remember, and i don't even know my own mobile number. Well my old one anyway, which i had for a good 2 years =P I've recently switched over cos my dad refused to pay the bill for my phone anymore complaining that he's poor. Although Trish seems to be going around telling everyone they have shit loads of money. Ok? So really my dad means, i'm guna cut off all entertainment for you because i can. Bastard. Complete and utter bastard.

And now i can't get this friggin' card off this letter. It tells me its for 'convience'. How convient is it if it's stuck to the fucking card!? I sound like i'm moaning, but i ain't =) I find it all quite amusing atm haha.

Anyway, i've just gone on for a few paragraphs about banks, letters, numbers and once again my dad XD So instead of boring you anymore, i shall be taking my leave. Ohh, and say Happy 2nd Anniversary to my bro, Ryudostarwind!!

Happy Anniversary!

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Thursday, January 26, 2006

Internet Related: Weeee! Look at the pretty pretty layout. How fantabulous (no, that isn't a real word) is this? Regardless of what anyone else thinks, i love it <3 If you wanna know who's in the layout, it's Kakashi in his ANBU uniform, and the back of Iruka's head XD The scan came from fighting-dreamers.org, and i recommend that site to any Kakairu lover. Or maybe it came from Kakairu LJ community *thinks* I can't remember XP

Although me & Sw33tz are still trying to work out a little bug >>; Although it isn't *that* important, it's just a nice add on. I also know that 1 of the songs in the playlist doesn't work atm, so don't worry bout that =P And, the link (attached to the header) leading to 'My Site' isn't working yet. Why? Cos my site isn't up and running yet XD Although it should be soon hopefully.

Anyhow, i've finally finished scanning 1 of my Kakairu Doujinshi; Sukoshi Miraino Bokutatihe, by Chikadoh. Although i still have to finish cleaning it up, and then have to scan my other 3 Doujinshi ;___; Guna take a while, but i'll do it lol.

Chikadoh has to be my fav artist for Kakairu so far =P The drawings are just so adorable. Although it can be sad at times ;___; In 1 of my Doujin Iruka starts crying. Awwwwww, the sadness! But if you wanna see some of their work go here: Chikadoh's Site.

Also, i was wondering if anyone knew where i could get the full version of Mousse T's song "I'm Horny" an mp3 version preferably >>; Cos the one i have is a short version. Blah.

Real Life Related: Finally opened up a bank account XD I can't see why my dad couldn't have done it honestly. But he seems to be trying to make my life as difficult as possible now days, and i'm not too sure why. But it's friggin' killing me inside. I feel like nothing i do is good enough for him, as if he's attempting to drive me away for some unknown reason.

I'm hoping to get signed up to a few temp agencies soon, they'll help me find work quicker, well that's what i'm hoping. It seems that no one wants to give me a job -_-; I'm not sure why though. It's not like i have criminal record or anything, or look like a thug.

Anyway, enough mopping, if i continue down that road i might end up in tears again >>; Yes, it's gotten that bad. The minute i have some money in my pocket, i'm treating myself, and my mum, she's been having a rough time lately, and seeing her hurt kills me.

Well that's all i can be bothered to say >>; Tata.

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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Err, as you can see from that music box just hovering over *points up* i've been messing about with me site.

Ok, i lied. Sw33tz has been messing with me site, happy now? Lol. We're (meaning mainly her) are working on my nex site =) All shiny n pretty hehe. Well, that's if it goes to plan >>; And when it comes to MyO, it usually doesn't XD But heres hoping neh.

Ok, here's a fanfic i wrote ages ago and decided to tweak abit last night randomly =D
Warning: This fic is boy/boy love, don't like, don't read.

Title: Now I know
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Seto/Joey
Summary: Seto catches Joey in the bathroom in a rather awkward position.
Rating: 12..15 maybe?
Disclaimer: No, i don't own Joey, nor do i own Seto. Which is a shame really.
Author's Notes: It's very short, but i like it. And yes i do realise Seto n Joey may be a little OOC. I wrote this a long time ago, just tweaked it abit.

I've finally figured it out. After all this time, I finally realised why I keep coming back for more. It's not just about the sex anymore, no, there's more to it now. Can you remember when it all first started? You walked into the boys bathroom at school and caught me in a rather awkward position. Your eyes widened when you saw the blade I was gripping rather harshly, and the deep thin red line going up my arm. It doesn't even take a genius to work out what I was doing. Snatching the blade from me you slapped me, left a red mark on my face for quite a while may I add. I would have laughed at the fact that you had slapped me like a girl and hadnt punched me, had it not been for expression your face. Never before had I seen you like that and never again do I want too. You almost cried, and Mr. Cold-Hearted does not cry, yet alone for me. But there you were, pain filled expression, and it was directed at me. I should have yelled, kicked and screamed at you to mind your own business and go shove it. I didn't have the heart too.

Dragging me back to your mansion I got 'cleaned up' and bandaged, well you mainly done that part, I sat there silently. Somehow, I am not quite sure how, one thing led to another, and we ended up kissing. When our lips parted though, I still felt cold and lonely. You werent being the Kaiba I knew and hated. And when you told me you cared for me, I laughed in your face, a bitter cold laugh, it sounded very familiar to my ears though. I sounded like my father. The reason why I hurt myself. The reason why my mother and sister left me. The reason for all the pain Ive felt. I almost lost it then.

Pushing you away I ran out into the streets and to the nearest pub, to drown my sorrows the exact same way my father does. You never came after me. Later I found out that your personal doctor had called just after I left telling you Mokuba had been admitted to the emergency ward and you were needed there immediately. You did however find me staggering home early hours in the morning, completely hammered and yelling at some woman. I would have hated myself even more then I did already if you hadn't been there, hadnt been there to stop me. I actually raised my hand to that woman! Was quite willing to hit her, just to shut her up. Just like my father had done to my mother for all those years. No wonder my mum didn't take me with her. I thank whatever God there may be that you were there.

The moment I was sober again and able to recall everything that had happened, I broke down. Becoming like my father was not something I wanted, it was a fate worse than death in my eyes. You held me then. I don't really know what possessed me to do this, but I kissed you, I guess it was the warmth coming from your body. After a few heated moments things developed and we ended up in the bed having sex. At that time I couldn't call it 'making love', you were just there. No matter how cruel that sounds, it's true. I needed someone's shoulder to cry on, and you were there, willing to give me anything, so I took it. I never heard you when you whispered "I love you" after we had finished. If I had done, it wouldn't have taken me so long to realise that this wasn't just a game to you, that you were being serious.

We had sex several times after that. Whenever I felt down, I came to you. Drowned my sorrows in bodily pleasure, allowed you to complete me over and over. It was only yesterday that we actually talked about what happened that first day. That's when I found out you loved me, and had done for some time. After a long talk, and a lot of crying on my behalf, you held my face in your hands, pressed out lips together in a chaste kiss and spoke softly. I didn't quite catch everything you said because my head was thumping from the headache my hiccupping had given me. However I did catch that one little phrase that made my heart flood with joy, "I love you". And now laying here in your arms, listening to your heart beat, feeling your warmth all around me, I can easily say, I love you too.

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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Fucking stupid piece of shit. I can't finish this damn fucking fic for my life. And it's only a one-shot. A one-shot damn it! I seriously want to go strangle someone and rip our their vocal cords, just to cure this odd blood lust i have right at this moment. I honestly do. I'm having one of those days where i'm so pissed off, and with absoutley no reason at all!

Ohh, and in a happy note, my friend's giving me a free site. Of course, he's guna host it, and all i get is a subdomain, but hey, who cares, t'is free!

Edit: Added a new wallpaper. Go have a look =)

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Monday, January 16, 2006

I had one of the biggest scares of my life on Tuesday. I received a text from Phil's mum saying he'd cut his arm bad and that he was in hospital. Later i found out he put his arm through a window and cut an artery. An Artery! A fucking artery! He nearly bled too death. He also damaged 6-7 tenends(sp?) and some nerves. So now he can't feel anything on the tip of his ring finger (right hand). Luckily they repaired most of the damage, although Phil isn't allowed out for a good while, the cold could cost him a finger, same with smoking >>; He isn't happy with that.

Most of Tuesday & Wednesday i was at the hospital with him & his parents. But now he's out, thank god for that. Although he said he misses the TV XD And he said something yesterday that not only will i hold him too, but made me feel really happy "Friends forever" 碢碮

And Sw33tz, we will definately have to make some layouts =D I liked the last one we made.

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Saturday, January 7, 2006

I went on another icon frenzy and came out with 29 KH2 icons =P I never get tired of making icons lol.

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(25 more behind here)

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Thursday, January 5, 2006

Once again updated my graphics journal at LJ =P This time all the icons are of AIR. People should love that anime more >>;

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(32 more behind here)

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Thursday, December 29, 2005

Anyone else excited about KH2? Since the opening trailer came out icons have been made for it like crazy =P So i hopped on the bandwagon and made a few of my own. Check em out if ya have time.

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(C L I C K M E)

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