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Sunday, March 18, 2007


Lost between a crowded wave



Sometimes all we need is some soft music to re-unite with our soul.




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Rentrer en Soi site, All Rights Reserved|Layout © Shadowlight 2007





Express yourself





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Monday, February 26, 2007


I had a car accident, well more like a bus accident today, just about two hours ago.
I wish I could say that nobody got hurt, unfortunately someone did. I don't know if it was too serious or not, but from the hit sounds serious.
I truly hope his okay. I myself got hurt too, not so bad though.

Let me tell you what happened then, we were making a thick turn like we usually do on the way home (I'm very surprise how bus drivers make that turn so well with such a large vehicle, even at full speed), so there I was inside chatting calmly with a collegue when this stupid kids shows up running in front of the bus, right after the turn. The driver did all he could to not hit them by stepping the brake, everyone that was sat down hit their heads on the front seat. What was horrible to watch was the ones that were up, all of them were pushed to the front, some managed to grab on but most of them couldn't.
So like pieces of domino they were all pushed, particulary this guy, he was right next to the busdriver, unable to grab on he was violently pushed to the bus window and hit his head, breaking it.
The image of the guy flying at the window, the dry sound of his head hitting the window.....I can't explain.
It was truly horrible. I keep reviving it over and over in my head.
He was conscience when they took him to the hospital so I truly, truly hope the man is okay. What a terrible luck he had.

Aside from having a sore wrist (I think I twisted it) and a bruised finger, I'm fine. Although inside I don't actually "feel fine".
After the accident and checking if my friend was okay, I remember saying it outloud in my head: "Thank God it wasn't me" and feeling relief.
I just can't believe I thought that.


All I want right now is to sleep but my parents won't let me. They think that I may have a concussion, or something, I don't. Of course.
Heh, maybe I'm more shacked than I thought.



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Rentrer en Soi site, All Rights Reserved|Layout © Shadowlight 2007





Express yourself





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Saturday, February 24, 2007


   Swimming in a chainletters swamp
I wasn't going to post today but I'm compile to do so. I can't believe that in only a few days, my private box was filled to its max with only chainletters!

I'm litteraly swimming in a spam swamp. It's ridiculous.
I've already replied back to a few and each one I replied understood why I didn't want them but blah I have no time nor energy to message a hundred more.

I'm not that kind of person that shows her dark side very easily but after watching my private box get filled, I'm furious!

So if you're one of those people that believe on them and are here to send me one, READ THIS FIRST before you do:

A) I consider them as spam. Plain and simple.

B)Their ridiculously long. Like I never really read one but I had to scroll down to reply and it took so long!


C) I hate them. Period.
I know it may be stupid from my part to say it. But I'm being honnest, I do hate them. I think it's a waste of time, you're time while you send them to me, it only fills my space. Imagine if someone really has something important to tell me, or ask for my help?Something that really matters and I don't get it in time because my private box is filled with spam!Do you think I find this fun or amusing?

I don't and this have to stop. At least here.On my space.

I tried but I never seem to understand how can someone sane thinks their love life can be change with a bunch of words talking about an idiotic idea that if you send it to a specific number of people your love live will improve and if you don't, well you practically won't have a healthy one.
How come so many people believe such folishness? How can you be certain that it'll improve or get worst?! You think chainletters have eyes? That this things have special powers?
Did it ever occured to you that if you want a healthy love life you have to try your best to earn it first?
It's all about being persistent and waiting at the sametime. Look around you. You never know if you don't see it. Besides a half of the messages I got I didn't recognise the names!
How come so many people that never visit, read or had a chance to know me better are so willing to save my love live?

I thank you for the fact that you only remember me when you need a bunch more of people to send chainletters, but next time be sure you don't include me. I find it rude and unecessary.
I'm tired of this. I thought having rules weren't needed, but guess I was wrong.

There, I said it. And I feel much better, now I can get back to my pile of essays.


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Wednesday, February 21, 2007


   Subjects are so over-rated
So while I writte this I'm drinking my second large cup of coffee today.
I don't know why I'm drinking it since coffee makes me sleepy rather than energetic. I guess I like the taste. American coffee it's quite tasty/addictive I find, gotta love the only american store we have here.

But anyway, I'm waiting at home for a collegue to help me with this essay or project (I dunno what to call it), I've been working on it quite hard for I don't know how long, countless hours, days now and I'm still not finished! There's so much left to do. Urgh. I desperatly need a smart-head for this... geez...

That's what happens when you're dumb at Physics and think you can do it all during your very-short vacations.
And no, I'm not turning like you SG, leaving all the work to the last minute.
Ack, I won't admit it, (although inside I do). You're probably finding this very amusing and were somewhat waiting for this.
Right now I'm imagining you grinning, using the same warnings I told you way back while sticking and waving your finger at me.

I won't let it!

I think the baggerish eyes are enough for a punishment, no?

Eeeeeekkkkk....


Still won't admit it!


Arrrggggh.....but I lazed somehow anyway....
.........

Okay, let me take a deep breath before you do it //breathes

....okay shoot!

Hehehe....meannie.

[edit]Blah it passed 30 min already, she suppose to be here!
I hope she hasn't forgotten about it...or else I worked so hard on cleanning the house and preparing a morning snack for nothing.
It's not like I don't clean the house, I do. Every day. But when guests come over I like to pamper them by preparing a delicious snack and making the house extra-clean for them and extra-clean demands alot of hard work.

[edit] 15 MINUTES!If she won't get here soon there won't be any coffee left!

Gosh, I feel so exhausted. I'm quite impressed that I'm still up and awake, actually. Maybe I have much more energy than I thought I had.
I wanna procrastinate more, but I don't have any energy left for it....any volunteers to do it for me?

Maybe not, heh.

Coffee ran out. Maybe I should do more, yeah...

One hour and 10 min later, she finally arrives....[/edit]


5:30 pm After she left, I thought a nap would help me feel better at least for half an hour, but I end up sleeping for hours.
Opps! I'm screwed. XD
//sigh

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Monday, February 19, 2007


[ommited]


I thought better about what I wrotte here and saw it was better to remove it. If you just came now and you're reading this, you didn't lost much. Believe me. =)


Love,
Shadow

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Sunday, February 4, 2007


Oh, Shadow's site on? Is it true or just a mirage?
Its been awhile (long time) since I wrotte something here.

Heh I admit it feels...oddly-good?

....dunno if that's really a word at all.

But yeah.

.................so remember me?

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Sunday, December 31, 2006


   Because is just that time of the year
Heh you know its a bit awkward to be using this ol'myotaku page and not use my own layouts, but honnestly I kinda missed it. So its good to go back to plain old style once in awhile after all. =P

Alright so this is the time of the Year when I get all nostalgic and do this =P

Here we go,

To Family and friends who have made a difference.
Mom and Dad can be slightly annoying at times. But, that's what parents are for? We have our fights, and our disputes, but deep down, we love each other. And, I have to admit, I've been spoiled by them quite a few times in my life. Whenever we'd get into arguments, I remember my mom would always tell me that there'd never be anyone in the world who loved me more than my parents; and it's so true. And there's nobody in the world that I love more than my parents.


Shanny is my goddess. I never noticed how much she truly meant to me until there was the thought that she might've disappeared from my life. Loosing touch with her hurts so much and makes me incredibly paranoid. Shanny is just such a wonderful person. She's incredibly opinionated and not afraid to speak her mind, sheís also very smart and so fun to talk to - I find myself loosing sleep just to talk to her, and not feeling tired at all. Sheís that kind of person that you can turn yourself to and pour all your soul, and she listens carefully while advising and surrounding you with such overwhelming love, itís impossible not to fall in love for her. Sheís one of the closest friends Iíve ever had.


Alexa was and still is my favourite teenager girl and even though the age between us is rather big, sheís one of my best friend too. I haven't spoken to her for an awhile now, but she's still someone who has made a huge change in my life. Back when I first got to her site, I was fascinated with her style and colourful language. It was really something a bit unusual to me, I never was a big fan of swearing, its something I only say when Iím really pissed and such, though Iíve doing it more recently XD.
She do it constantly although with such a refine touch to it that itís impossible not to smirk each time sheís about to do it. Sheís incredibly smart and responsible for such a young teenager, one thing that keeps amazing me each time that happens. This might sound rather awkward but the first time I spoke to her at msn I was so nervous, which doesnít make sense at all, a twenty-one years old girl so nervous to talk with a 15 years old teenager Ė Ridiculous.
Thinking about it now, I didnít want to seem too old fashion to her because if I did, eventually sheíd get tired of talking to me, but thatís not what really happened at the end, weíve become more and more friends, and now everytime I get to see her online, I leave everything Iím doing to chat with her. Some experiences with her brought out memories of the person I was at her age, things Iíve done or said that I don't like to remember, but at the same time, made me realize a lot of things about myself now and about people and life in general. To this day, I still wish I was THAT stylish and responsible like she is, when I had her age.


Someguy I remember meeting him way back in 2004 and admiring his intelligence. He's one of the most talented people I know, and one of the wittiest. I think there are times when I overuse him as my support, and there are definitely times when it's just so easy to go to him and rant about life. The thing about him though, is the fact that he really listens. He's one of those people that I know I could turn to for anything, and over the years, he's been such a good friend to me. There are times when I wonder why he's still sticking with me because I wouldn't even stay with myself for this long. He's also a wonderful writer; something that I had wanted to be when I was younger. I've saved so many random little works by him, and there are times when just reading them makes me feel a little better. He's one of the closest guy friends I've ever had.


Joshie is my bishie turned into a human. I have this weird sensation that I known him ever since he was born. We have this connection of brother and sister, at least for me. Sometimes, even though he's only a few months younger than me, I feel as if he's more mature and more intelligent. Since we live on opposite sides of the world, I only get to talk a few times, (lately heís been a prick and turned off all the communications available to know how heís doing, which makes me sad and lilí pissed too). It seems that whenever we see each other, we always get into some sort of funny argument about many random things. The argument could last for hours, and we laughed so much that most of the times I have to rush to the bathroom many times, haha.
It's become a habit to do so, and I can't imagine being without him and not having just one funny dispute. We're both so stubborn and giggly-ish persons, itís always fun to have him around. I miss him. Terribly.


Vicksta is my yaoi supplier and Matrix lover. Conversations with her light up my life, especially our little yaoi role-plays that we usually have. I could loose myself in our role-playing world and just forget all my problems. She's also a very intelligent individual, and fun to talk to - unless if she's obsessing over something; then people should watch out. <3


Sephy has drifted away with time. She was the one person that I wanted to pick her up and take care of her. I donít have any kids, but she brought on me my motherly sentimental feeling. For a long time she felt unhappy and mad with the entire world so I felt it was my duty to show her how the world isnít so bad like she was thinking. She's so much fun to talk to, and when I was with her, I feel as if I could say the dumbest thing ever, and we would laugh so hard for hours. Over time, though, we've slowly lost touch. Every time I go online, I still hope that she'll be there.
Iím glad to know that sheís very happy now and enjoying life to the fullest.


Hinaru is to me and many other girls, the pillow guy. Heís extremely shy at first but such a incredible person, one of the things I like about him so much is, how slow and how short he can be with words.
Itís only been a year that Iíve started to know him so there isnít much I can really say about him yet, but one thing I say for sure is, Hinaru is one of the people I most admire on myotaku, for his persistence, for his patience and dedication to someone. Heís truly someone to look forward to. I canít wait to know more about him.

Beckles Ė she is my dancing partner. And quite a good dancer, mind you. Sheís also funny, sweet, that loves a good laugh just like me. Iíve known her for the longest time but unfortunately only for a few months that we started to really chat and if I may say became friends. So I still know so little about her from my few experiences around her but I've heard a lot from others and to be honest, sheís all that and more.
I hope that this new year, we keep talking and share many moments together because god LORD, sheís addicting!
*giggles*
So for the little I know, I can say for sure, that I truly love and cherish this person. And wish her all the best.

Tiffy, Teri and Nessa their the best trio I ever meet in my entire life!
They have everything, from funny, to lovable. You name it. Itís practically impossible to not pay attention and fall in love to this trio when their around.

Bells - now this is a very interesting person. Sadly I donít know much about him as a person. Although I do remember that, right after he signed in and started to sign guest books, he started this commotion on each myotaku girlís sites. Everybody immediately wanted to know him better and wanted his entrie. Why? Because heís truly sweet. Calling us, ladies. Truly a gentleman.
Heís such a beautiful person inside and outside. Itís impossible not to feel comfortable and special with his presence. He also has a unique glamorous style. Just take a look at his site and youíll know what I mean.
Having him around only makes Myotaku even more glamorous.

And less but not least,
Mimmi Ė Iíve only meet her for a couple of weeks, but just like Beckles Iíve heard so many good things about her, that I HAD to check her out and perhaps, become her friend.
And I couldnít be more convinced, Mimmi is my Europartner since both of us are European and I donít know if you noticed but its so rare to find Europeans around here, so thatís a double points to her.
I donít know why, but when I read her stuff, I feel weíre very similar, (even though she writes way better than me in English). Iím glad to have meet her and hope this new year allows me to know much more to tell about her here, hehe.
Many best wishes for you darling, youíre one of the coolest Europeans I ever meet. ;3

To all of you that I didnít mention here donít think I donít like you, I do. The people I mention above somehow made a difference on my life. Rather was because Iíve known them for the longest pre-historical time or because Iíve meet them recently and they provoked some kind of special memory to me.

To each and of all of you, Happy New Year!
From your silly friend/host,
Shadowlight

Ps: To all of you who received the invitation pm, I hope youíll be there. <33


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Sunday, December 24, 2006


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Saturday, December 23, 2006


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Sunday, December 17, 2006


In a few days itíd make one month since I last posted heh, Iíve been slacking off to much around here, to be honest Iím writing this for the sake of posting.



Life has been quite ordinary, well no, thatís not exactly true, a lot has happened but Iíll keep most to myself, the only thing I can say and some of you are wondering is about the contest I whined so much last time I posted, the answer is, I didnít win.

Heh actually I knew that would eventually happened way before the contest started, since I was very ďgreenĒ with the programs they were asking us to play around but still I did my best to surpass myself but more importantly to make my professor proud since he worked so hard and did many sacrifices to help me out so it was the least I could do for him.

There were only 11 people competing in the same contest as I was, 10 were all men and as you already guessed I was the only woman there, so yes as you can imagine I started to freak a bit, the only girl representing an entire school and the only WOMAN competing against 11 guys.

Girls, you know how boys can be very stupid sometimes, especially if their competing all against one single woman and this guys acted stupid, right after they saw me getting inside their starting to whisper ďA chick pffft this will be easier then I thoughtĒ

Iím not saying all men are stupid but comments like that hurts, I mean weíre in a new millennium, many women have proved to be quite good competitors, why thereís still so many guys think we canít do it? I was mad with that but somehow that gave me even more strength to go beyond my limits even if it meant loosing sleep and learning most of it while I was working there.



And I made it, I surpass myself in every single way possible, I may have not won the gold, silver or bronze medal but I won the acknowledge and respect of everyone and my teacher donít stop bragging about a single girl who didnít know practically nothing about it but still did a great job getting in the 4th place. Note that I competed against teachers, students who use those programs longer than I did and people older than me.In a few words their knowledge were far greater than mine.

One important fact was I earned the respect of those guys, they now acknowledge that I was a heck of a competitor and we became good friends.

Another important fact was when I came back at school I was greeted like I won the competition by everyone, heh so overall I did a pretty good job, havenít I?



PS:Mimmi if you're reading this, you're now officialy added to my lady friend's list, since you're a fantastic person and should be in the spotline because everybody need to meet more people like you. <3
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