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Sunday, February 8, 2004

   Rapunzel will soon be no more!!!!!!
Yup,yup oh so very soon I am chopping off my stupid friggin hair!! MUAHAHA!! I went to the hairdresser with my friend and told her (the hairdresser) that when I cut it I was planning on donating it to Locks of Love and she said that it wasn't long enough. I told her that "you only have to donate 10 inches" and she said "yeah I know, and you wouldn't have any hair left if you cut off 10 inches." Completely convinced that she was in serious need of having her eyes examined I suggested that she break out the ruler and measure it herself. Well whadoya know?? From my shoulder down my hair is 19 inches muahahahahaaa!!! If I only cut 10 I'd have plenty of hair left. But I'm not leaving any!! It's all gonna go hehehe! I'm planning on cutting it like Keira Knightley's hair in Bend It Like Beckham. It used to be that short when I was little and I liked it a lot. I'm so excited!! No more migraines... at least caused by my hair. I should post pictures of my stupid mop and post them before I hack it off.
O anywho... I'm starting driving school Monday... shoot me. I'll be eligible for my license March 5th and I just want to have it and be done with it. I hate driving and right when I get my license my mom is going to make me pick everyone up from school and go on errands all the time. I just want to stay in bed all day. My stupid birthday is now less than a month away and I'm ready to kill someone. But the good news is I just read 2 books in the past 4 days!! Slow compared to how much I usually read but it's really good news because I haven't been able to enjoy reading in a while. I'm starting another one tonight. After I'm finished reading all the books I haven't already read I'm buying more!! Probably with my birthday money. I'm in a pretty good mood today and I hope it lasts. The first person to kill it is going to be crapping my shoe for a month!! ........Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts....

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Tuesday, January 6, 2004

   I'm a liar, liar...... pantalonez on fire...
Me no speakay espanol. I am such an asshole!!! I can't beleive it's taken me sooooo long to get my ass back on this damn computer. BECK!!!!!! your BM is back forever I promise. No more extended vacations. As for the reason...... reasons.... I've been absent... well, my aunt kidnapped me for a week at the end of November and when I came home no one would let me on the comp.... for 2 weeks!! Then my Papa died on Dec 14 and I've just been moping around ever since. I did go to a Dave Matthew's concert though.... but only because Katie's boyfriend (now ex... HA!!) cancelled at the last minute. I really miss my Papa........ I'm so friggin depressed!! AHHHH!! And I hate everyone in my family! That's a lot of people considering I don't even know 1/4 by name..... or face. At the funeral/wake I was just like "Who are all these people??" It's not fun when you're trying to grieve in your own way (I don't show my emotions very well) and everyone is making you feel as if you don't have the right to feel sad. All I heard was everyone telling Laura as she was crying "We know how much he meant to you".... AHHHHHHH!!!. I held up pretty well during everything until everyone's cars were called and I went through the line to the casket the last time. Laura was sitting with my Nana..... comforting her.... and I just kinda went in to hug my Nana or even just pat her on the back...... but she pushed me away. Before when I had asked her how she was doing she completely ignored me but this time she physically pushed me away from her. Everyone was staring at me.... I felt so stupid and just started to cry. I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe and had to gasp for air and then I just ran out of the funeral home. No one thinks my Nana's gonna live very long and I've said that I don't think I even care. She HATES me. Part of the reason is because Papa was my godfather and she said he favored me. No one beleives me when I say she hates me. I hate my entire family. All they ever say is "You're so quiet"..... ya think? People tell you to shut up enough you start to listen. They were never nice to me and they think I don't remember all of the mean things they said. I hate the fact that I let them ruin my life!! I used to be happy. I used to talk! Forgiving and forgetting is what I want and need to do the most but I'll only ever be able to forget...... if I move as far as possible away from here and forget I was ever part of this family. I want to start over because I really can't work with what's left. I'm only living to make everyone else happy and I'm trying sooo hard to find a reason for myself. I want to live for something..... besides my cat. I know that some time in a hospital would do me a lot of good...... but it would hurt my mom. I HATE THIS!!! I'm trying to get better for them but I can't without inconveniencing them!! Oh well..... my birthday's in less than 2 months which makes everything worse. Birthday = deep depression. Every year I get extremely depressed/overly sensitive around my birthday. Something I've come to refer to as the "birthday blues." And lucky for me..... and everyone around me, the birthday blues have come 2 months in advance!!! Yippee!!! Break out the party hats, magic relighting birthday candles (I keep them in my purse), and prepare to get whiplash from the verbal assault. I HATE MY BIRTHDAY!! I guess I hate everything/everyone right now. But wait a minute and my mood will change...... it always does. Or wait.... oh crap that policy excludes all months pertaining to the birthday blues. I guess your shit outa luck. My foul temper is gonna be here probably until the beginning of April. I'm gonna try really hard to be happy for you guys though!! Cuz I love you!!! I do beleive I've made your eyes bleed enough.... for now. I shall be back on tomorrow!!! I promise!! ........Oh yeah... MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

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Saturday, November 29, 2003

   Did you enjoy the turkey holocaust???
Ah snl kills me. So how was everyone's Thanksgiving? Good I hope. I'm sorry I haven't been on. No one will ever let me on the computer. But no more!!! I've had enough!! Been pushed to far!! Today I sat down at the computer and whenever someone asked if they could get on for a sec I said "NOOOOOO!!!!" A second to them is a year.

But anywhen... my Thanksgiving went really well. My mom, Laura, and I did all the cooking which was fun in itself. Everything was going good when we all sat down to eat. Everyone was in a good mood and Laura and I kept making each other laugh about nothing sitting across from each other. And then there was Lance. He stole Lydia's seat for some reason and sat next to me. He was just being a bitch. Whining and calling people names for no reason. Well... I was getting pissed because he was ruining my good mood along with everyone elses. So I did the only sensible thing I could think of...... I shoved a handful of my mashed potatoes in his face. Yup smeared it all ova. Everyone looked up after he started yelling and my mom asked "what the hell happened?" I put an innocent look on my face, raised my hands (one of which was covered in mashed potatoes), and said "I didn't do anything." He eventually learned to shut up (didn't want me to shove squash down his throat). In the middle of dinner I felt a little overwhelmed because everyone was talking at the same time and I couldn't hear myself think so I leaned forward and put my forehead on the table. After sitting like that for 10 minutes Leigh told me to sit up and eat. I was hungry so I did but a few minutes later I put my head down again. Leigh (she was sitting next to me) hit me in the head and told me to wake up. I sat up, threw peas at her and told her I was awake. So to make sure I didn't put my head down again.... she put mashed potatoes all over the table in front of me. After we all finished eating it was only mom, Laura, and me at the table and my mom said she wanted us all to sit down and watch a movie together. While we were talking about which one we should watch I thought I heard Lydia say something. She said it again and we all heard her........ BARNEY!! We all screamed no!!! and I dove but it was already too late. It was in the vcr..... no going back. Laura and I screamed and ran away. And that was pretty much the end of turkey day.

It's 2am and I have to go to the mall with Katie tomorrow...er.... today. I have to go do laudry so I'll have something to wear so that's it for this post. But I'm gonna post everyday from now on. Even if there's nothing to say I'll just sing!! Anticipate a lot of Christmas songs!!!

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Saturday, November 22, 2003

MONDAY- Leigh's Barbizon graduation. I took a shower at the last minute and Laura and I sped to the train station and took the T into Boston. I had my hair sat on too many times to count and then had to fight to get off at our stop. We were running late so Laura made me run the 4 blocks to John Hancock Hall.... in the freezing cold..... with my hair soaking wet. Needless to say when we got there my lungs were about to burst and my hair was stiff. I was pretty much coughing and/or wheezing during the entire ceremony. Leigh looked and did awesome in the fashion show *swoons* la dee da. A lot of our family was there and we screamed every time she came out. When she came out as a calendar girl as July with her friend as September we were yelling so much that the host asked "Are July and September special months?" My Uncle Jimmy was sooo loud. Two of her friends came and when they saw that people were handing the graduates flowers when they came down the runway the last time they ran around looking for a place that sold flowers. The only store nearby didn't have any so they bought her a stuffed animal puppy instead. One of the songs that was played during the show was Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal....... I couldn't resist singing along and dancing in my seat. Couldn't resist when Van Morrison's Moondance came on either. All in all it was a fun time. Even when I half carried Leigh to the parking garage after. Those high heels are killers...especially when you're in them for 10 and a half hours. She made me massage her feet when we got home.

TUESDAY- Nothing much happened. I was running up the cellar stairs when I tripped and slammed both of my shins on the edge of a step. My legs went numb and I had to crawl the rest of the way up the stairs. I must have hit them pretty hard cons

THURSDAY- Nothing at all. Not even and injury.

FRIDAY aka last night - Laura, Katie, and I went to the movies. We saw Love Actually which was pretty good. Afterwards we decided to go out to eat. Drove the 10 minutes to Chilis and realized that it was 10:15 and Katie had to be home by 11:00..... not 11:01. No lie she came in two minutes past 9:00 before and was grounded for two weeks. We rushed our order, ate fast, and got out of there by 10:35. We only had to rush because the traffic was a little heavy. Nonetheless we got her home 15 minutes early. After a lovely night of listening to her talk nonstop about her boyfriend I was in the mood to go to sleep. Yeah right. I predict the next time I see her will be the day after Christmas when we go shopping. Like every year. Someone kill me now. Please!!?? I went upstairs to watch tv around midnight and Laura was online talking to Ari. This morning she told me that they went to the movies and saw Gothika. She really liked it and thought it was scary but I don't trust her taste in movies. She thought The Ring was scary. She wants me to see it but I doubt I will. It's highly unlikely that by the time I leave my house again it will still be in theaters. I'm bored right now and highly annoyed for no reason other than I can't stand anyone.

Random question: Is anyone else ambidextrous???

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Wednesday, November 19, 2003

   "Mass genocide is the most exhausting practice one can engage in. Next to soccer."
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Saturday, November 15, 2003

   "Read me the letter baby. Do not leave out the words."
4:30 a.m. Today was such a lovely day....... yeah right. My neighbors from across the street moved last week and today there were people looking at the house. I don't think they want to move near me now. The friggin mail man just left a package on the front porch again!! Is it so hard to ring the doorbell??!! Someone could steal it! I was looking out the window when I saw the potential new neighbors and the package on the porch. It was freezing out today so I can imagine they thought I was retarded enough when I came outside to get the stupid box wearing shorts and a tanktop with no shoes. Along with being freezing it was also extremely windy so I was trying to avoid venturing all the way outside by holding onto the handle of the screen door with my right hand and leaning over while reaching out for the box with my left. Well...... the psychotic wind viciously ripped the door away from me, slamming it into the porch railing, and causing me to completely fall forward onto the porch on my hands and knees. That hurt, but not nearly as bad as when the wind changed direction causing the door to swing back and slam into me....... throwing me into the railing. I screamed........ no words. Just really loud, wordless, screaming of intense aggravation. While simultaneously kicking the door and throwing the box into my house. Then I turned and smiling at the hopefuls across the street I said "It's windy." ..............."Won't you be my neighbor?"
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Wednesday, November 12, 2003

   Oh the irony......
I'm not even sure if irony fits this situation. Earlier this evening I watched Finding Nemo. Afterwards....... I cooked 10 pounds of haddock. Without remorse. In fact, I ate some in front of my fish. I just finished cooking and I still have some oil on my hands so whoever uses the keyboard and/or mouse next is in for a surprise. It's 3:20 in the a.m. and I still have to clean up the mess I made. But maybe tomorrow I'll watch Chickenrun and then have some chicken pot pie. Or maybe I'll watch Babe or Gordy and then have some bacon!! I'll be ok........ maybe not.
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Thursday, November 6, 2003

Last night I was bored so I watched The O.C. with Laura. I saw the first episode back in August but last night I noticed something. While staring at the girl who plays Marissa (Mischa Barton) I said "Laura, doesn't she look a lot like Leigh?".........Laura - "I was just thinking that." I don't know why I never noticed it before. The resemblance is weird. Not only do they have almost the exact same figures but their faces....... it's weird they look so much alike. I dunno..... I just felt like sharing that useless piece of information with you guys.
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Wednesday, November 5, 2003

   To make a long story short.....
Well, not that short....really. But Leigh's competition went really good. She got an honorable mention at the awards ceremony and after, she got a call back. But she couldn't go to it until 6:30 and it was only 5 so we decided to eat at the restaurant in the hotel. In the middle of eating Leigh said "Those poor girls. What are they thinking?".......I asked what she was talking about and she pointed out that all of the girls that were in the competition were eating leafy salads and carrot/celery sticks. I found this amusing. Having a perfect sister with a perfect figure doesn't really annoy me. What annoys me is the fact that she is the biggest pig!! She could beat just about anyone in an eating contest. She likes to eat 12 hotdogs in less than 5 minutes. And whenever we go to the subshop that's lees than 2 miles from my house she finishes her large steak and cheese sub before we're even halfway home!! Then she'll complain about how she's still hungry! All she ever does is eat..... and she's always hungry. It must be nice to have a metabolism that actually works. Her cholesterol must be really high lol. Anywhen, she got a callback with Advance, an agency from L.A. and the agent told Leigh that she was her #1 pick. Showering her with compliments like "You have the perfect height, the perfect body, beautiful skin, and those cheekbones!!" She wants Leigh on the runway. She also said that the agent who sat next to her was from Donald Trump's agency in L.A. and he also wrote Leigh's number down but he had to leave early so he couldn't talk to her. Leigh has to send her pictures to Advance and the lady said that Leigh and my mom need to go to agencies in New York. I think that they're going to go at the end of November and stay there for a few days. Leigh doesn't even graduate from Barbizon until the 17th of this month. The whole graduation is a fashion show so that should be ......um... fun?

In other, slightly less happy news. My darling cousin Cassie is moving in this weekend. Someone shoot me!! Please??!! All she ever does is make me babysit her 8 month old dauhgter. Hello, Laura is her godmother not me!! For the first 4 months of her life I had her almost everyday. She would always stay over night 4 days in a row!! For no reason other than Cassie is a lazy piece of crap!! And you know what pisses me off? There are absolutely no pictures of me and the baby..Stephanie. Ugh, everytime Cassie's here she takes over everything, touches my things, and complains non-stop!! "There's no food".... "Your house is a mess"....."Get you cats away from me!!" And who knows how long she'll stay. She thinks she can boss me around when she's only 4 years older than me. Kiss my what?? I'm not happy. Oh and about 5 minutes ago my dad threw all of my stuff....clothes...books...out my widow. And it's raining. It hasn't really hit me yet so I don't really care. Right now. But when it hits me....he can kiss his stereo, x-box, dvd player, ps2, nintendo64, and tv goodbye.

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Saturday, November 1, 2003

   "I'm a model, ya know what I mean......"
"I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah on the catwalk." Leigh's modeling competition is tomorrow!! Ugh she can't find her outfit so she's freaking out. Her, my mom, Laura, and I have to leave at 6am because Leigh has to be there at 8 and it doesn't even start until 1!!! But the worst part is..... I have to dress up!! Well, wearing a nice sweater and my wool coat is dressed up for me. I am NOT wearing shoes though. I might wash the mud off my sneakers though. MIGHT being the operative word. Being pretty is expensive. It cost $2000 for Leigh to go to Barbizon and $700 to register for the competition. Not counting how much all of her outfits were. It's hard to beleive she used to be a boy. Hehehehe...... But she'll be competing in a category of girls who are 13+ and 5'8+.....it must be nice to be tall. Agents from Japan and Italy will be there so Leigh's pretty nervous but I know she'll do fine. I don't want to get up early!!!

Yesterday was boring. I don't like Leigh's friends, I don't like mine either, and there were a lot of them here. They made a mess, that Laura and I had to clean, but I didn't really mind that much. I just don't like being aroung a lot of people. Especially in my house because I HATE when people touch my things. One of Leigh's friends was on the computer and it was driving me crazy!! Ari came over and Laura, him, and myself got a bunch of movies from his house and just hung out in Laura's room for the rest of the night. I finally got to see American History X!! That is a really good movie. If you haven't seen it yet I suggest you go rent it right now!! I said NOW!! I don't know why we didn't end up going to Salem..... it never really crossed my mind. Cuz I was too busy stealing food from the party to take to Laura's room muahahahaha!!! Sharing is caring. There is still a lot of food left. Want some? There's enough for another party. I have to make more room in the fridge because all of Leigh's friends are anorexic...... it's not fair. Come help me eat!!!! Well, I suppose I'll go help look for Leigh's clothes. Just because I'm sooooo nice.

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