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Be mine or burn in eternal hellfire with the cows!! Muahahaha!!

How is it that I'm just putting up these banners now?? Hopefully Aurus will forgive me.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

   Prepositions, idioms, and whatnot.
Thanks for all the advice guys. Not to worry though. For I have a plan!

Laura wants me to live with her in North Carolina so I'm getting a job to save up for the trip. I told my mother I'm getting a job, I just omitted the real reason why.

Alright, alright. I downright lied! I think I said that I'm tired of asking her for money when I need something. Which would be true if I ever asked her for money anymore. But I haven't in a long time.

All I need is my social security card and then I'll go job hunting! My mother is already trying to stall me. She lost my card so now I have to send for a new one. And now she's delaying going to the store to get paper so I can print out the form to send for a replacement.

She's probably hoping I'll change my mind, which I usually do. But I've never really had much of an incentive to get a job. Now that I do nothing and no one can stand in my way!

Something is bound to go wrong and I'm prepared to deal with whatever obstacle comes up. Whether it be Laura changing her mind, getting another roommate, moving again, or the state of North Carolina being invaded by aliens, I will persevere!

When it comes to my mother I don't think it's really necessary to put states between us, but I know that when I leave, she'll be less likely to have a heart attack if I move in with Laura.

Besides, I really miss her. Not to mention she needs to cut my hair.

The only thing worrying me is the thought of another car trip with Paco. The last time we were only in the car for seven hours, and he meowed the whole time.

It wasn't really a meow though. More like the sound a cat would make if it were being tortured to death.

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Tuesday, August 16, 2005

   "Hello, Allah? It's Me, Siddique."
Even if you're a stringent left-wing, you have to admit Ann Coulter is damn funny. If only Michael Moore had a sense of humor. I suppose Democrats have Bill Maher for that though. He always made me laugh on Politically Incorrect. Did I really watch that when I was 10? It doesn't seem that long ago.

I went to the dentist yesterday and I'm cavity free!! She was really violent with the floss. Damn sadist. She said it's pretty rare for wisdom teeth to grow in without a problem but mine have been in since I was sixteen. There's crowding but at least I no longer have a space between my two front teeth! I need invisiline.

Tony is coming back sometime this month and it really sucks that I can't see him. Maybe I'll convince Laura to let me move in with her when she gets her own apartment. North Carolina seemed nice when I drove through there a few summers ago on my way to Florida. Anywhere would be preferable to where I am now though.

It's recently come to my attention just how much my mother inhibits me and I'm determined to distance myself from her. I'm not about to waste more years of my life feeling the way I felt when I lived with my grandmother.

Make no mistake, I love my mom. But if I stay here for much longer I don't think I'll ever be able to leave. She is the master of guilt trips and knows just how to get to me. A lot of the time I don't even realise that she's guilting me into something. But sometimes I'll feel like shit about something I supposedly did to hurt her and I'll realise what she's doing.

I'm sick of feeling like I'm abandoning her because I want to go to college and have a life of my own. I'm sick of her insulting me all the time when I'm the only one who ever helps her.

I'm NOT a lazy, selfish, asshole.

There are times when she has me convinced I am.

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Saturday, July 23, 2005

   "You look down but far from out."
three Maine lobsters: $48
shipping and handling: $28
watching your mother stuff her face: pricelessÖ.. and a little painful

These damn kids are driving me crazy! I had to keep chasing Lance and Lydia out of the kitchen last night so my Mom could eat in peace. I was armed with an oven mitt and I was not afraid to use it. Too bad I couldnít find the tennis racket. Hehe.

Other than their interference everything else went great. My Mom was surprised to say the least because I was whining all week about not being able to get her lobster. Iím a pathological liar! Jealous? You should be.

On another note, I hate thinking about my friends starting college in September. Katelyn and Kelly are going to UMass Dartmouth, Jillís going to Boston University, Bryan and Mai are going to Northeastern, and Elsadig is going to Yale to study the neurological sciences. Meanwhile, Iím here teaching myself things that I was supposed to be learning in the eighth grade. It sucks but itís not exactly discouraging.

Iím not even sure what I want to major in anymore or whether or not I want to go to Paul Smithís. Lately different aspects of environmental and biological engineering have interested me. Although, I donít know everything involved I have a basic idea and Iím seriously considering them. To really be sure Iíll have to get through chemistry and physics which wonít be for a while.

Ugh!! Thinking about all the work I still have to get done and four years of college after drives me crazy. I want to join the Peace Corps already!

Paco has conjunctivitis and his left eye keeps closing. Heís so sad looking.

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