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Thursday, July 5, 2007


   wow
wow its been like forever, i hope all is well with the ppls here and there, been bussie with work and four wheeling and all that fun fun stuff. when i get motavatted i will make some more wallpapers... if there are any animes you all want wps from let me know, ok i will up date when i get more time.. maybe a back ground chage or colors ..somethin.... ok mary days and mary nights, may the winds guied you safely.
*bows and poofs*

*poofs back* here have a game or 2 to play ok have fun *poofs away again





















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Thursday, May 24, 2007


Sorry
hey everyone im soo sorry i have not been on and or updated in so long, i have been a bit bussie with the dog shows, horse stuff and school and normale life... that is if life is at all normale, i should have tiem to work on some wall papers soon for everyone, Oh i got an idear give me some idears for wall papers... yeah umm ok i got to go got a lot of things due tomarrow... thank the gods onely 2 more weeks left of school, ok have a good ones and heres a pic to brighten your day ....*waves and padds off with tail waging ever so slightly*

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Sunday, April 29, 2007


mind scream
Some where in this world maybe I will understand why itís me and not some one else. Maybe because Iím too strong and I find stupid little things to hold on to, maybe someone else would have killed them self by now. Maybe itís a game for some higher power, waiting to see how much I can take? How much will I go trough before I snapÖ
Loss of a good friend, told I have type 1 diabetes, loss of my horse, loss of my Grandparent and the farther pushing form my dadÖ because his girl friend thinks sheís knows it all, maybe she dose but I donít think she dose, maybe Iím this way because if it where here or some one else they would be dead by now,
I get rag, just random rage and little things set me off, if I were K9 I would be put out or locked away, if I where anything but human id be sent to restÖ
Iím really screaming in my head that I hate everyone but I keep it to myself because I donít know why I hate everyone and I only know why I hate a few, I cry when no ones looking... Why because I donít know why I cry and for people to do something there has to be a reason, to hate you have to have a reason, to love you have to have a reason, to want death you have to have a reason, to want life you have to have a reason, its madness, so stupid its not funny I just want to do it becauseÖ.
Iím drowning in the tears and screams that I hide away, I cant breath past them, its like silly puddy slowly pulling a part, Iím detaching myself because I donít know why I do stuff, Iím trying to understand so everyone else can understand but I donít knowÖ. What do you do then?
So am I wrong, I love some one for what they are,
I hate some one for what they are and do
I am scared of people because I know they will hurt you once they get a chance
I watch in the shadows so I can cry
And I wait for some one to come hold me like I was 5 or so and tell me the lies of its going to be all ok
Even though I know itís really a lie and it will never be okÖ
Maybe the same questions run through my head over and over again
Maybe I am a cutter and itís not flesh itís me soul
Maybe Iím bleeding right now
And no one can see
Or maybeÖ
This is all a lie tooÖ
If there is a answer to any of this can I have it? Or will I never know and I will just wonder and wonder till I turn to dust? What if I donít make it? Or is that suppose to happen,, am I to cry and scream and be alone because I want to know and will never know,
Will I sit and smile and love people for who they are and not what they do to me?
Am I really here?
Or am I all ready dead and donít know it?
Maybe this is just a story of questions and untold tails
And none of this makes sense

SO HOWS THAT?
HOWS THIS IM CRYING
IM HURT
IM LOSTIM SICK OF THIS GAME
AND I WANT A VACCASION THAT I WILL NEVER GET???
WELL Ö

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007


poem with message at the end
Child One More time


In the night is sit in the rain
And I listen to the calls
Learning to live with the monsters
And feed off the pain
Able to tear myself apart with out anyone seeing

Not in the night
I am not here
Leave a message
I might getÖBeep

Hit me one more time
Yell at me one more time
Go one pull the gun

In the night I see all the children
I see all the pain In there faces
I see all there hungers
And I think of nothing
To much pain in my mined to live with out it

Hit me one more time
Yell at me one more time
Go on push me in to the wall

In the night
I can see the hurt in your eyes
Feed me
I can see the knowledge that it hurts
Let me take it away

Let me bring you to safety in your dreams
Let me fade in to the night
Let my wings dance like a butterfly
Let me smile in the rain
Because I am the child garden
Demon no longer
Life a memory

Hit me one more time
Yell at me one more time
Go one, one more time

In the night I sit in the rain
Watching the lights of hope flicker
As the childrenís innocents fades
In to black and blue, crimson tear

In the night after my body is at rest my soul will leave and dance on silver wings
And I will be a demon to you and a angel to otherís and this is how it goes
For I see the pain in childes eyes
As they learn to stand and grow yelling

Hit me one more time, I dare you
Yell at me one more time, I dare you
I dare you
Just one more time




Note to readers

Every where there is some little kid wondering what it would be life to not have to worry about mum or dad going off.
All ways wondering if they will be good enough to get a smile instead of slapped
Some of them get a chances of freedom and some donít and it kills what ever was there for hope
And the ones that know it, that have lived it and gotten safety in some way, are there with broken or crippled wings being the angel form some one else out there
And this is a piece of writing for the ones who have lived it and the ones who are still living it

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007


PUPPIES BORN
ok the litter that im getting my Border Collie pupie frim was born on thrusday 4/5/07 there are 5 girls and 2 boys here are pic of them at 3 days old ^_^, first 5 are the girls and the last 2 are boys,

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Sunday, March 25, 2007


poem
In the cold night
I sit and think
Of night long past
And days that I wish I could still hold

Like the winds song
I cry when none look
So I may moan my loss of you

When I shut my eyes
And the rain kiss my cheek
I think of you
And how you gave me a hope

Dancing my bay mare
Run free
My rose lady
My beautiful star

Donít let them look you down
Show them
That the dirty little girl
Is something special

In the sun
I hold my head up and do not look at you
For your out of my fingers
Like the setting sun

In the mist of night
I dream of running
With the tall grass at my ankles
And wind in our wings

In the cold dark
I think of you
My lady of roses
My fallen star

In the night I cry
For my fingers cant have you
And my mind is over run
With no one to

My star
For give thee
For I did my best to keep my home
And to have your soul
In my fingers
But it happen to not be so
So I cry my fill in the shadows of the night
As the rain gently kiss my cheek

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Friday, March 16, 2007








what type of demon from hell are you?




your the shy demon of hell,you dont like to kill but your punished if you dont so you have no choice,you dont hang with your buds very much but you try your best to fit in
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code


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Sunday, March 11, 2007


Mind Snap
Everyone thinks they know why I did not leave and go where I could have kept my Star.... it was not because of mu mum because I think of leaving her every day, I think of her being called and told to come ID a body or waking up because I did not get up for school when my alarm clock went off and she fined me in a puddle of blood. I did not stay from my dad because I know he dose not really care or know that I am here, I did not stay for my friends because no matter where I go I have no friends, and I did not stay from my brother because he'd be just as with out me... I stayed because I could not have a dog where I was going, and now that I'm so close to my dog, its slipping through my fingers and I am asking my self why, why am I here, why are they just though's and ideas, why have I not made them happen, why did I lose star... for something that would be short lived?? for something like hoping daddy would walk in to my life and be there, for something like mum and everyone understanding I'm not Bad, I try but why try when you get no where and no one sees you any ways, Why did I let my horse ... my best friend... my life.. my soul... my reason for say being diabetic was just a bump in my road... what am I hanging on to ?? something that no long is there and really was never there... this is where I say I give, I don't care, I have No dog No horse No friends and No will to keep going, so this leaves me to make everyone hate me and then let me slip away, because I still think somewhere might be need for a laugh or something else and even in reality I know this is not true and is still keeps me here... because I cant be the one to cry and brake to say NO MORE, I CANT TAKE NO MORE... because that hurts more... maybe I will wake up and it will just be a rainy day and I will have star and my pup next to me and its all a bad dream...


The song sort of Goes with the mood... remember to smile,


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Thursday, March 8, 2007


random
i wodner at times, really i havent aclue about what but *shruges* .. sigh i dont feel good :( *crys* i just got un sick and im sick again and well i hate being sick and and and and and stuffs... lol ohk just sayin hi and how all is well with you peoples i will try to get a better post up laters, ok smile tc, be safe and good and laugh at least once even if nuthing is funny, because there is all ways somethin funyn happing somewhere even tho you may not see it, *waves and walks off*
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Thursday, March 1, 2007








Who exactly ARE you? (AnImE PiCs)


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