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Ello, and welcome to the place where anything can and will happen, I have been here forever and not much has changed in the way of me, I still live for my horses, dogs, and friends. Want to rant or someone to talk to just look me up and Ill be there. http://sacequestrian.webs.com/ & www.freewebs.com/celticmoonkennel

"Laugh even when there is nothing funny happening around you, for some where there is something worth laughing about your just not seeing it." ~ Stacey Carver ~
Diabetes is like a lover, hurting you from the inside. I was closer to my diabetes then to any of my friends or family. Even when I was all alone, quiet, thinking, wanting no company at all, my diabetes was there" ~The Lone Ranger and Tonrot Fist Fight in Heaven ~

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

"I'm the wolf that stands on the edge of your fading dreams"

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Sunday, February 26, 2012

so not sure much of anyone looks at this any more, i tend to come here when i just cant take it any more, and need to hide my writing. which donst come like it use too... kinda sad when you really think about it... oh well hope all is well with u and yours...
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As the wolfs call to the moon
Lady of the night, “why won’t you come and dance with me”
For I’m just a lonely old wolf
Let me tell you all the stories of the sun and his strength

They say you’re a lady
In you dress of blue silver
Where you come from
I mean where did you start
Did they ever tell you
About the beauty you paint the world?

Lady of the night smiled
Saying “old wolf” let me tell you
I’m young and free
All way changing as time pass by

All ways spinning life in to darkness with a soft glow
I hear what they say about me and that sun
Oh old wolf let me just smile down on you
So you can see, and be called the guardian of the night

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Come with me..
Let me take you to a place where it all makes perfect sense
Let me show you what it should be
Let me let you taste the true happiness
Wake up, come with me…
Let me show you all the blood that rains down the streets
Let me take you to the homes of those who live with little
Let me let you taste what it is to be hungry
Come and see the world when it’s all about to end
Wake up and see that your days not at an end
Let me show you that you can make it
Let me take you to this place
Let me let you taste what sleeping forever is

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Stop right there and think about what you just said. You want me to stop what im doing and be all smiles and happy. But this aint ever going to happen, you say I don’t know what you have been though. Well here let me open your eyes and show you this movie called my life. My mummy didn’t really care, she just didn’t want to be alone, so here and my daddy got married, she lost her horse blames me, not even born. When I was little there was fighting screaming yelling throwing things and hitting, there was those nights when she’d run drive off fast to get away for a bit, to lull me to sleep. This is only the start this went on for years, I was left with grama and papa, living in and out of their house, then little brother came, they fighting got worse, all ways moving never money to pay rent, only wishing for a dream of a flight that never brought me back there, now as you see this is only the begging and there is more yet to be seen
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Taking a step off this cliff that I sit on, falling without a thought of who’s going to catch me before I hit the ground.
I don’t ask you to help, and I’m not going to say thank you. For I help without a thought, but you sit here and call me name and make fun of me
This is me just letting go, you thought you knew me but as I can see you’re in shock, you didn’t know that I could just let go and let the wind rush by my ears
I can’t hear your mocking voice anymore and I don’t care, there is no reason to hold on to this place. No I’m not happy and yes I feel unwelcome here
You just use me, laughing and talking behind my back, go one have just one more glass, because when you wake up from this dream I won’t be here
I’m not scared of falling, not scared of being back flat on the ground because I have been here so many times before, knowing that I don’t sit on a pedestal

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I shut my eyes, just so I can see something other than this place…
I want to run, to scream
I’m here, IM HERE
I take a deep breath, I can see and hear you once again
My finger tips tingle, as it all slips away
I open my eye to see it’s not real, that your really not hear
I just scream your name over and over again
Till I cant breath any more

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Friday, June 24, 2011

need to rant
There are days were I want to scream, I want to scream at everyone who looks at me and makes those stupid ass comments, Because you know what I am trying and I’m so fucking sorry you cant see it, I’m sorry I’m not you, and I’m so fucking sorry that you cant see what I see in life, and I guess I’m sorry you don’t care.

I’m sick of trying to show people I’m not some useless kid, and I’m sick of the people who think that they know me, because no matter what you don’t and I’m sick of it. You be me for a day and see what you say.

I’m sick of people getting all bent out of shape because I point out what’s really there, and say things like ooohk, ooohk, or I know, or I got it. I hate being told to do something when I have been doing it a certain way fro god knows how long, or being told to do something like 100 FUCKING TIMES, I HEARD IT THE FIRST time.

Really hate when I say I’ll do something and then someone takes the response from me and blows it way out of proportion…. Breath...

And I’m sick of how you look at me for my choice of friends or when you comment about my boyfriend…. Really I’d watch what you said, because my minds like a trap it all builds up till there’s no more room and then it explodes. I love my horse and my dogs, and I hate when people trash them, or make faces when they talk about them,
I’m not fully together and with out them I’d be lost and a. kill myself or b. kill someone else…. Yeah….

I still want to walk into the other room and scream ….because you took it all wrong congrats again, and you could fucking say thanks when I buy you fucking lunch and don’t really have the money for it….

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Saturday, March 26, 2011

In this silent hallow I sit and wait
For them to return
For there is to be another hunt
When the moon pulls up and sun sinks down

I sit here with ear listing

I have waited a long time
To hear the calls of other of my kind
The songs that ring in the night
Chilling all down to the bone
The call of the hunt

I sit silently in this hallow waiting
To smell the fear
To feel the ground pass under my pads
As Luna shines down on me casting shadows

I sit with ears listing to the wind
Bringing the call of the hounds
The hounds that run all others night mares

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This is a dream
I can’t seem to wake up from
There is no screaming
No reason to taste fear
But I know that this is a dream
For when I open my eyes
I’m still sitting in this bed
Under the cracked ceiling
I get up and keep walking on
Smiling when I have to
But no one knows
What I go thought
I just know that this is a dream
For I know that when the eyes open
Ill be stuck in this hell alone
I can see the smiles
That are real
The happiness
That is not here
This is how I can tell
That when I wake up
That this is just a dream

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In the shadows we watch
We wait till our song is sung
We listen with all our heart
We live for the moment in which we are called for…

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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

So life is going great for the most part, My health issues are ohk for most part, My horse is great, getting feed now that I'm doing it and shes getting worked just about everyday, so her muscles and weight is coming back nicely, The dogs are good they are fit again and happy were I am, Tat is all most finished and she has all her clearances. So yeah lifes going good, I'm in a place were people care and i find it kinda odd, but getting use to it, My group of friends has changed a little but I'm ohk with that, and I'm all most done all they way with school, to so i can go and take on the next part of school. woot so theres a life update for you all, hope all is well with everyone. and if not smile once a day it chases some of the demons away.
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