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Monday, June 27, 2005

I (heart) New York
Yeah, cheesy, but seriously, I loved New York. A lot. Like I'm seriously debating about going to college there. I mean, Columbia and NYC both have really good music programs, and there's always Broadway...that's been my dream since I was little. I didn't get to see any shows though-no one else was willing to pay $100 for front mezzenine seats(they where the only ones left) and my mom was too chicken to travel with me, her, and Courtney alone in New York.

After being there, I really think it'd be near impossible to get lost in NYC-at least in Manhattan. You walk untill you find a subway terminal, and you can take almost any downtown line straight to the Statten Island Ferry Terminal-congrats, you know where you are. Navigating the subway wasn't really too bad, but the adults where always nervous and doubting themselves and double cheking everything-no one would take charge, and if I tried to I got yelled at. I can see their point-I wouldn't want someone younger than me telling me what to do either, but if no one takes control, we don't go anywhere. Oh well.

The mission project part of it was fun too. We worked at a soup kitchen at Project Hospitality. The kitchen started on fire twice on our first day. It was hilarious. We also painted two rooms. Tina Van Holland (Trevor Schubert's mom) Julie B, Cortney S. and I got in major paint fights-we all looked hilarious. Everyone who saw me told me that the paint was supposed to go on the walls, not on me. We also cleaned out a warehouse-wonderfully tedious and boring work.

We went sightseeing too-Statue of Liberty (it's actually really tiny) Ellis Island (didn't go on it, just floated by) Ground Zero, and Chinatown (awesome place for Dutch bargainers)I got a dress at Chinatown for $55, which was $30 less than the begining price. I also got a purse (stop laughing, please) for $10 and a matching wallet for $6-I got them both down to half the asking price. Everyone else was getting Prada bags, or Chanel sunglasses, because you could get them for $20 instead of the thousands they cost in retail stores. Personally I think brand names are retarded-most of them are ugly anyway-just not my style. Besides, most of the Chinatown purses are knockoffs or stolen anyway, so who cares.

We got to talk to a bunch of kids who lived on Staten Island, where the mission project was located. The one I got to know best was Eliza. She looked like a crazy-goth. She had blue highlights, black shirt and skirt, and a dog chain. Now, your thinking juvenile deliquent, aren't you? guess again-AP honors classes, drama freak, got runner-up to a full-ride scholarship for a performing arts prep school. She was great-we compared life in Iowa vs NYC-it actually wasn't too different. Well, except for the fact that if thier bored, they can go to Manhatten, and if we're bored we cruise around the cornfields. Yeah, try saying that out loud and keeping your dignity.

I was getting really tired and crabby the last two days, partly because we worked so hard all the time, and partly because we where leaving soon, and I seriously didn't want to leave. It was an adventure. I'd never want to raise kids in New York-way to dangerous-but I would like to live there for a while. Maybe then I'll move to England for a while. And France, I've got to see the Eiffel Tower. And maybe then I'll go to Japan someday too.

And maybe this is all just idle talk and I'll go to college in Iowa and end up teaching at a high school for the rest of my life.

But I really hope not.

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Friday, June 17, 2005

To New York I go!!!
I figured I should post before I leave, frankly because I'm bored and sick of watching mindless cartoons. I know, surprise surprise.

Oh yea, and I'd like to know what happened at role-playing when I was gone. Ya know, if anyone wants to tell me. At all. It's okay, I'll wait...but not patiently. (grr...)

Anyway, did I set myself up for dissapointment by obsessing over the new Foo Fighters album? Of course. I should really see these things coming. Anyway the tally for tracks is 11 love, 6 okay, and 3 hates. About average, actually. I still think the Foo's rock.

I figured out how to play "razor" on my guitar. It's off the acoustic side. Okay, actually, I'm only playing part of it, because he's rolling three notes, and I'm only playing the outlining note. And I kinda cheated-I figured it out on piano first, then watched how he fretted the notes, and then played it. What else am I supposed to do with my life, for cripes sake? It's summer! Usually I hit this poor me, I feel isolated, and I never hang out with anyone all summer stage (well except for last summer, but I'm not doing that kind of crap anymore) but this summer is different. I'm practicing my instruments without feeling like its an obligation anymore. I had this feeling the whole school year that I had hit some sort of ceiling in my playing, and that I needed to stop being so complacent and stagnant with my playing, and just get out there and do something. Mr. T finally forced me to break that by playing the Elige (so simple and yet so damn complicated) and now I feel...I dunno...like I've finally proven to myself I can do this stuff, I don't need to prove it to anyone else...I never did really feel like I had to prove it to anyone, actually. I was always trying to get other people to convince *me* that I was good, when what I really needed to do was sit down, shut up, and just play. For my own sake.

I dunno, I'm feeling pretty damn good right now. I just needed to get away from all the drama, all the crap that was the end of my junior year, and...be free. As cheesy as that sounds. Be free to rediscover who I am, who I was, and figure out who I want to be. Away from all the expectations that everyone has for me. Just be myself, and stop trying to fit in and act like "me", the me everyone thinks they know. Dammit, I'm going to be me, whether or not you people like it. Gawd, that sounds dumb. But it's true.

Senior year. Yeah, bring it on.

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Sunday, June 12, 2005

Yea for 24 hours of Foo
My vacation to Florida was great. To summerize it, my dad tried to convince people he was British, my mom wore a retarded yellow poncho (it rained all week), My sister pretended to be a mute, and I pretended that I didn't know all three of them and walked ten feet ahead of them at all times. Just kidding! (I only walked five feet in front of them) ;)

Matt didn't come b/c he couldn't pay for it. I mean, he's 20, and he still lives at home with no job. I think mom and dad pay enough stuff for him. Why should he go with us on vacation when every day is vacation to him anyway!

Ok, no one wants to hear me rant about my brother and all the stuff he did while we were gone, so lets talk about happy things...Like my new obsession with Foo Fighters! (yeah!) MTV2 let the Foo Fighters take over programming for 24 hours. It was sweet! well, except for the fact that I had to sit through Viva la Bam reruns, along with Wild Boys, Wondershowzen, and Jackass. But other than that it was hilarious. I'm seriously counting down the time till In Your Honor comes out (at the moment it's 1 day, 8 hours, 25 minutes and 8 seconds, give or take) The album is half acoustic, half rock. David Grohl is so cool-he can play drums, guitar, and sing! he could be a one-man band, if he had enough arms...

I wrote a song. It kinda sucks, but hey, its mine. I don't mean one of those, oh, hey, I was banging on my piano in an angry rage and came up with a cool sounding chord thing, but an actual song. Crappy lyrics included! Sad to admit, but this is the first time I've ever actually seen a song idea through to the end. Usually I have lyrics with no music, or music with no lyrics, and so I give up (or push it all together and make and idiot out of myself at Swing Show) but yea...

I'd never be able to write music as a career-deadlines would kill me. Seriously, If I try to write music, nothing comes out. I don't mean it sounds bad, its just nothing. I sit and stare at the keyboard and it stares back at me. I had that problem with Music Theory I. I was the last one to finish my hymn, and my leit motif, and my jazz chart fell apart. I'm kinda worried about next year, with my idependant study, what I'm gonna do. Mr. T didn't seem to excited for my class either, with all the Nikki crap going on, I take less priority. Oh well, that's a whole summer away.

Jeez, no matter how many times I try, this stupid post always ends up depressing. Fine, stupid post, you win. Life sucks. Are you happy! Good.

(I'm not really that depressed, I just sound that way)

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Sunday, May 29, 2005

Lets all just hold hands and sing kumbayah or somethin...
OMG no more school!!! AHHH!! Actually, I can't wait for next year...SENIOR! slack classes and lots of music stuff...I think the hardest class is gonna be Physics. And that's saying something, because Verberg is the most slack teacher ever.

Oh yea, and here's another good/possibly bad thing about next year...no more Nikki. She (finally) got kicked out of the house, and now lives in Dell Rapids with her real dad. I dunno, this past year (especially with her bf) she's gotten so annoying that I've wanted to strangle her on numerous occasions, but still...Five years of friendship is a hard thing to just throw to the wayside with no feeling whatsoever. We get each other, ya know? she taught me how to break out of my shell, and I (thought I) taught her when to keep her mouth shut. Oh well.

I still can't help thinking she's ruining her life with that idiot...and saying it's not my life, not my problem is becoming really old. She can't see how horrible he his...he made her quit band and choir because it "took up too much of her time" that she should spend with him. Also, If Nikki is on the cell phone with him and I'm standing there she can't talk too me or he gets jealous. It's dumb!! GRR... *breathe in, breathe out* But...well, this sounds inconsiderate, but it's not my problem anymore.

Okay, it still is, I'm her friend...in the old days we'd be scheming to get her back in Hull, doing whatever lying or cheating of the system that was neccessary, but we've both changed. Life hit us kind of hard. I recovered, but I don't think she ever did. In JH I was following her around, but by high school I was defending her and she was following me around. Role reversal's a bitch. Now I feel like I gotta watch her back as well as my own...I get sick of that real fast.

Now she's got her Keith, her grifs, her drugs, and her fights. If she likes it that way, more power to her. I can't stand that life anymore. Maybe it's good she left, because we probably would've kept doing that whole slow drifting apart thing we've been doing until one of us finally snapped. Then we'd have a bitch fight, hated each other, and would've had to still deal with each other at SDSU (that is if I go there...)

Oh sh^t I forgot...no more college for mrs. keith spaans-she's gonna be a babysitter. Why? because keith's not going to college either. Those Netherlands reformed like thier women to be dumber then the men are. *ouch that was harsh*

*reread what I wrote* wow, sorry, I sound derranged. Nevermind, don't worry about anything I just wrote, just doing some venting, really, I'm not as loony as I sound.

Oh, and I realized the title has nothing to do with this post...Oh well. ;)

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Sunday, May 22, 2005

Yea...My grandpa died this past Tuesday. I was going to write earlier, but I was afraid I'd type something I'd regret...

Gawd, I'm gonna miss him. I had to sing for the funeral-"old rugged cross"-his favorite hymn. I made it to the fourth verse before my voice cracked, and made it to my seat before I completely broke down. It was hard, a lot harder than I thought it'd be. I dunno...

His casket was made out of wood, cause he was always talking about people's cabinets-he loved the wood grain. The corners had little barns on them-each family got to keep one-I think it's morbid, but that's cause I'm not big on the whole "reminder" bit. I had to be a pall bearer-grandma was insitent that all 9 grandkids where pall bearers-which posed a slight problem because only 2 grandkids where boys. I had nightmares about dropping the casket, but it all turned out fine.

Well, as fine as a funeral can be.

I remember when I stayed over at grandma and grandpa's house when we had New Years Roleplaying and it was icy. He was on dialisis then, and he was already asleep when I got there, but he wanted grandma to wake him up so he could show me the dialisis machines, and explain how they worked in detail, because he remember when I was little I was always curious about how the engines worked in the shop, and he figured I'd be impressed that he knew how the dialisis machine worked. He woke up before I did the next morning, and I remember him sitting there in his robe, his hair all messed up, and I remember giggling at his hair, but at the same time thinking he looked old, ya know, and just tired. Since no one ever tells me anything, I didn't really know how serious it was, untill that point.

And know I think my uncle Pete has (or had) prostate cancer or somthing-at least thats what I picked out of bits of conversation I caught when everyone thought I was watching TV or listening to the radio. I wish someone would trust me with this-do they think I'm five or something, that I need to be "protected"! I dunno, It's dumb...

Anyway, I should apologize for my moodiness, cause, yea, I was kind of stupid all week. Tom Slice kind of made a stupid remarks when he found out about my grandpa, so I of course freaked out at him. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone else than be sad about, well, anything. I dunno... I'm just tired. Really tired, and I can't wait for school to be out. Oh yea, and I've got to thank you guys for inviting me to Star Wars on Saturday-I really needed the break before the funeral. I really appreciate it.

Anyway, I bought myself Phantom of the Opera, and am actually listening to it right now- *I can play DVD's on my computer haha* So yea, feeling a little better-once sememster tests are done and schools over I should feel a lot better.

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Sunday, May 15, 2005

Allergys, Anime and Contest
Wow, I'm getting obsessive with the three word titles. Then again, there's usually only three things happening in my life anyway. And one of them's always anime...how pathetic.

Anyway, bad news first, Band got a 3 at contest. It's crap, I know, we got jipped, I know, but sometimes I start to wonder, because everytime we get a bad score at Boyden-Hull its always "'cause we got screwed." I dunno, I think it's kind of arrogant of us. Oh well.

Guys & Girls choir both got 2's. Mixed Choir got a 1 (yea!) Mixed was right after we got our band score, and oh man I was so pissed walking into the auditorium I could've ripped open the judge's heads and made brain stew. It was probably a good thing I was mad, because I always seem to sing better when I'm angry. That's probably because when I'm angry, there's no room left for me to be nervous.

Anyway...anime!! I was gonna freak out because there's no more Full Metal Alchemist on Saturdays, but they moved to to weeknights, so I don't have to go burn down Adult Swim HQ like I previously thought I would...saves me some money...but yea, they replaced FMA w/ a show called Samuri Champloo, made by the creators of Cowboy Bebop. It's got the best animated fights I've seen-blows Rurouni Kenshin out of the water-but the plot is only decent, and the music's kind of annoying. Oh well, It's still worth it. I also watched House of Flying Daggers this weekend (Hero was better) and Phantom of the Opera, which I love. I don't think I'll buy it though, because I can only handle Andrew Lloyd Weber in small doses.

Oh, and my sister, dad, and I are all sick. At first we thought it was a cold, but we all got worse at about the same time, and now cold medicine won't work anymore (we all started having coughing fits and blowing our noses during church-mom was not pleased) and so my mom thinks it's allergys, and she gave us all a bunch of free samples of Allegra that she got from the clinic (I love free drugs) It's kind of working, but I'm still coughing like crazy, and can barely talk (yea, you can all stop celebrating now)

So, Yea, I better go to bed so I can wake up without feeling like someone laid a ton of bricks on my forehead while I slept. See ya!

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Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Concerts, Contest, and Anime
First of all...FULL METAL MADE ME CRY!!! "why are they burying daddy?" *sniff sniff* okay, I'm done, don't wanna ruin it for those who haven't seen it...

My sister shoved a horrid anime called "One Piece" down my throat. I just about knocked her out to change the channel. Just about the most mind numbing show ever-but that's alright, that's what TV's for anyway!

Okay, spring concert was tonite. All in all it went well. I think I played saxophone too much today, b/c my jaw cracked right before the second soli part in Novena, and I couldn't play the low notes. Oh well. I was almost crying through the rest of the song, and most of Havendance too. yea, that was painful. But my jaw was better by choir, which was a Godsend because of my extremely long solo in Wade in the Water. My mom said the begining wasn't that great, but I got better as I went. Coming from mom that's a compliment. I think.

I dunno about everyone else, but I'm extremely worried about contest. Nobody is focused on anything at all. I just about shot Justine (jock) yesterday b/c she had the guts to bring a nail file in choir. She didn't even fake singing, just sat there for a half hour filing her nails. O my goodness, It's CHOIR! I dunno if anyone noticed, but we have 3 days to pull our crap together. ARGH! It's alright though, we'll pull it out of our buts in true boyden-hull fashion. So I don't know why I'm worried. And even if we don't we can't do worse than last year, can we?

My mom just bought the new Rob Thomas CD. As usual, wonderful lyricist, decent-to-bad music. I leave you with a good section of lyrics from "Problem Girl"

Pride like promises can pull u down
you thought that you'd be feeling better by now
you worry all the things they could do to you
you worry about the things they could say
maybe your seeing things the wrong way

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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

   Fine, you greedy heathens, I shall post. BUT I WON'T ENJOY IT!!
Ha, just kidding! Wow, I haven't posted since, like, Christmas. That's like...a whole four months ago. Whoa...I guess my life was just too boring. Or I was too busy, I dunno...

Most of the junk in school is over-all the contests and competitions I worry about are over and I did decent as usual. Now I'm just waiting for the end of the year...so I can wait for the end of another year...so I can go to college and GET AWAY FROM NIKKI OMG! Oops, did I type that out loud?...nevermind.

Here comes the whiney part of my post: Nikki hangs on me like a lost puppy and constantly force feeds me stories about her latest fight with her boyfriend. Then, when she's crabby, I have to listen to her say, "Kendra, your just an arrogant b**** who cares about no one but yourself and you look down on everyone you know and you've got self esteem issues and will never have a *wonderful* boyfriend like mine and your gonna be a lonely spinster with only your cats to comfort you!!" And all of that in one breath...I dunno whether to scream at her or tell her those breathing excersizes she does with her trumpet are finally starting to pay off...

Okay, now I'm done. I have to go back to work on my college course-sociology. I have to write my paper on "the MTV generation" b/c my teacher didn't like the whole japan vs america concept. Oh well.

There, I posted. are you happy now!?! *stupid boys*<-(you didn't hear that);)

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Tuesday, December 28, 2004

My Christmas loot...I mean, Joy to the world and all that jazz...
It was a very, VERY good Christmas. Well, besides the whole annoying relatives and your average family political discussions...

Well, were do I start? With the Anime, of course. I got Cowboy Bebop full series and the movie. Yea! My sister got the Yu Yu Hakashu movie and Inuyashu movie, so it's kind of like I got them too. Double yea!

My biggest and best loot was in the music department. I got a brand new C* mouthpiece for my saxophone, a sax stand, and a new ligature to boot. I also got Van Helsing soundtrack, Miles Davis "Blue", and Charlie Parkers greatest hits CD. YEA!

Hmm...what else? Oh yea! I got Happy Bunny floormats for my car (with the bunny snidely proclaiming "It's all about me. Deal with it") and a Happy Bunny blanket that says "Crazy doesn't begin to cover it" Yup. I also got a bunch of gift certificates and such.

Oh, my gosh. I almost forgot my biggest present: Two tickets for Les Misarables! (I know I spelled it wrong, how can I spell it if I can't even pronounce it?) I told Amz I'd take her, even though we're not really close friends, because she's one of the few girls that I think would truly appreciate it with me. I'm so excited!!!

Anyway...surprise, surprise I'm grounded again. Yup. Came home late on Sunday. As usual, I wasn't paying atention to time. I tried to tell my parents that I'm beyond time and space, but that didn't go over so well.

I worked like crazy to clean the house on Monday, and so if I keep my act together for the next few days, they'll let me go on Saturday. I am the queen of getting out of trouble fast. Then again, I'm always getting in trouble, so I guess I have a little practice.

Happy Chrismahanakwanzica to you!

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Tuesday, December 7, 2004

I haven't been on in FOREVER so here's a quick recap...

I was an old rich lady in the school play. Had a Blast.
Kept busy doin loads of homework and working with stupid people over thanksgiving vacation-worked thurs, fri, sat, and mon!
Left my drawing book at work and my boss threw it away. Extremely pissed but hey-I guess I just get to make a new drawing notebook!
Saw Oddessy at Northwestern-have officially fallen in love with theatre (although not the music-miss high-and-mighty tiffany devires played in the sax quartet I hate her *Grr*.)
Got a B in History (again-what is it with that class?!?) and got grounded.
Went to sioux falls and saw TONS of anime. Oh yea, It's taking over. Also got a cool braclet for a dollar. All the money goes to the save the music foundation.

The Braclet says "Music=Life." Need I say more?

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