Friday, August 6, 2004

All state choir ROCKS!
I just got back from all state choir camp yesterday. I think that's the most fun I've had at a music camp for quite a while. I love hard music, and singing in foriegn languages rocks (except Russian-ick!) Since I didn't have to hang out with my "friends" every waking moment (in fact I barely talked to them) I met a ton of really cool people. Some of them started to follow me around and stuff, but it was still ok. My throat was so sore and I was so tired that I hibernated all day yesterday.

I got in a solo/group ensemble thing. It was 20 out of 250 kids, four on each part. I was kind of proud of myself for getting it, but I'd never say that in front of my friends. They were already staring daggers at me.

I dunno. I think I'm still going to be friends with them once school starts. (with the exception of Nikki, who I will pretend to like but avoid at all cost so I don't loose a limb.) I'll try not to hang with them as much though. It'll be refreshing to just be me for a while. Besides, they don't really like me that much. I'm just around to dump the jokes on. Oh well.

Anyway, I'm going on vacation for a week, so unless I'm lucky enough to find an internet cafe in Wyoming (HA! doubt it) then I won't be on for a while. See ya!
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Friday, July 23, 2004

   Johnny Depp Icons. YEA!!!!! AHHH!!
OK, now that I'm done going crazy, let me explain. I was searching the internet and happened to come upon this "Quiz":

Which Johnny Depp icon are you? by cerulean_dreams
User Name
Favorite JD movie
Your icon is
Why?	Because you are awesome
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I copied the icon to my pictures file and filled in a bunch of different answers in order to get new ones! YEA!

Anyway, here are a couple icons I got. Be sure to tell me if this doesn’t work, because I’m dangling on the edge of my computer knowledge (a girl can only know so much...)

*Edit* If they don't come up the first time, try refreshing the page.

Here's some still shots...


Heres three character montages...


And here's a bunch of my faves.


Enjoy! (you know I will...)

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Wednesday, July 21, 2004

It's been a loooong time...
I figured I should put something up here before you guys thought I was dead! I've been so busy working (my mom's in a b^tchy mood-cleaning is the only way to soothe the savage beast) and, well, writing and playing music-what else do I do? ;)

Anway, a few major developments--MY BRACES ARE OFF!!! YEA!! GONE GONE GONE GONE!! AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok...now that that's over...

I went shopping with my sis and mom today. NOT a good thing! I have no $$$ to spend, and my folks won't pay for anything I buy anymore. I ended up getting two CD's at Last Stop CD Shop. (just the place for a person with my budget) One was Charlie Parker (jazz sax player-my fave) and the other was the Pleasantville soundtrack-mainly cause it has "Take Five" and "So What"-two jazz mainstays. What can I say? They had a sale on Jazz music.

I was fortunate enough to find that I had a $15 Barnes & Nobles certificate left over from Christmas. I was gonna get a Stephen King book, but I wandered into the CD section and saw a Nirvana CD on sale for $14.99. It was fate!! Not really, I just told myself that to make me feel better about buying a CD in a bookstore.

There's one thing I noticed about B&N-the amount of comic books they have there! The whole back corner was covered with mangas! Most of them were Tokyopop, and where read right to left. They also had a Marvel section. I read a bunch of X-men comics there. (I'm glad James explained Emma Frost to me, or I would've been so lost!) A lot of the Marvel stuff was kind of crappy, mostly on the animation end. But when it was good, it was great.

Then we went to K&M music. My mom wants me to play Sax in church more often (whoopee) so she was trying to find some Christian Sax solos. I happened to run across a solo book Telkamp recommended, and with a little finagling ("It's for school, mom!") I got a hold of that too.

Yup. Life is good. For the moment.
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Tuesday, June 22, 2004

More of the same, my friends, more of the same.
Sorry I haven’t been on for a long time. On Thursday (two weeks ago) my house got struck by lightning. All of our tech was out-TV’s, Computer, satellite, and radios, to mention a few. Then on Sunday I left for SDSU music camp. I just got back this past Sunday night, and have been hibernating ever since.

SDSU was awesome (that’s a college in Brookings, South Dakota, for those of you who don’t know) I made tons of friends and had a great time. I went with Amz, which wasn’t really as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Actually, she acted like a crazy person and met a ton of people. If they thought she was annoying, they hung out with me. A good trade, if I do say so myself.

Anyway, so far my summer is amazing. I have had so much time to write and draw and stuff. Basically going insane-always a nice thing.

My friends and I are still in a tizzy. I went to a movie with Cort and Whit on Sunday. Afterwards we talked about our problems with everyone. Amz is still pissed at Cort (which Amz said numerous times at SDSU) and Cortney is ready to bawl about it. Nikki is still pissed at me (from what she told Cort) and I’m in slight shock. Man, that b^tch knows how to hold a grudge! I’m really indifferent. Loosing Nikki as a friend would be sad, but I’d easily survive.

I’ve spent my whole life trying to have and keep as many friends as possible, no matter how much they hurt me. At this point, I’m cold and uncaring. “You don’t like me? Wow, I think I’m supposed to care.” If Nikki want’s to talk it out, she knows my phone number. Better yet, she knows where I live. Come talk to me.

I wouldn’t mind if I spent next year on my own. The whole “group mentality” shit is getting old. I do admit, being pissed at someone for no reason except my friend hates him or her is fun, but the whole heirarchy bit is annoying. Amz is always the popular one, Cort’s the mom, Nik’s the b^tch, Whit’s the sheep, and I’m the brain. The pigeonhole crap is what makes me mad. They all underestimate my strength, my abilities. Oh well. I don’t have to worry about that anymore, do I? At least for two months.

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Thursday, June 10, 2004

Quiz results
Well, everybody else puts quiz results up, so I shall do the same.

How evil are you?


You're Element is Water. You are soft and serene at
most times but like Wind, you're scary when
you're mad. You proabaly have a talent is
singing and even your speaking voice is lovely.
You have an innocent type of beauty that makes
you look younger than you are and you like
close relationships with people.


What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla

Ha, where's Neo when you need him?

Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

This lost soul pic is my favorite one

You have a Lost Soul. No one is really sure what
that can always mean, because it can be defined
in many ways. As Legend goes, lost souls were
the spirits of passed away people who are
neither in heaven nor hell. They walk the
earth, brooding mysteriously, always appearing
when you expect it least. So hence, if you have
a Lost Soul, then you are probably very
insecure and shy. Stuck in your own little box,
you watch the world fly by as a loner. You dont
know your place. You seemingly dont have a
place in society or an interest. You are a very
capricious person, and are confused and
frustrated about where you belong. You crave
for the sense and feeling of home-but have not
obtained it yet.


What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

I LOVE MONTY PYTHON!

French Guard
I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous
accent, you silly king-a?!


What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Wednesday, June 9, 2004

New Colors :)
I am so proud of myself!! I finally figured out to change the colors on my site. Well, ok, I knew how, I was just to lazy to do it. But now I did, and it looks all pretty...

Now if I could only figure out how to get a picture and song on here...then I'd be cooking with gas!!

Actually, as part of my probation I'm not allowed to have gasoline (I didn't TRY to burn that place down...*twitch* It was just really dry...)
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Tuesday, June 8, 2004

Grounding, Chicago, fights, and other random topics
I haven't been on forever. I got grounded on May 25 for having Amber over to study without my parents permission. Actually, they specifically told me she couldn't come over. But what does that matter?

Anyway, I got off my grounding on the same day I left for my band trip in Chicago. I LOVE CHICAGO!! I seriously just about cried the day we left. It meant I had to go back to Hull...and my hellish life. I love the whole trip. Every bit of it.

My favorite part had to be when we toured Gary Fry's recording studio. He writes a lot of stuff for our Show Choir. The last two years we did stuff that had no written accompaniment parts. So I wrote them. He was thoroughly impressed, I think. After everybody else left, he asked me what I did and how it worked and stuff. We also recorded a McDonalds commercial that he wrote. It was cool (even though I despise the "buh dah buh bah bah" McD's theme).

There was a solo part, and everybody was like "Kendra, you should do it." And I wanted to, but I was kind of nervous. I was just about to say sure, when Amz volunteered. I always feel like we try to compete with each other in everything. She definitely thinks she's better (in fact, she's told me on several occasions) and that I'm just copying her. LIKE HELL!!!! She thinks that the only reason I want to take music theory is because she does. If she actually knew me at all, she would know I don't give a flying (ahem) about what anyone else thinks or does. I have never, I repeat, NEVER done something without asking if I wanted to do it for me or to make someone happy.

Our group had a huge blow up on this trip. Mainly it was Cortney. She was feeling left out, because Nikki and I always pair up, and Amz and Whitney pair up, and Cort's left alone. That's why groups of 5 are bad. Someone's always stuck on the outside.

Anyway, on this trip, I managed to piss off Nikki (which is a normal occasion, happing almost daily, like clockwork) So Nikki hung with Amz. Cort grabbed Whit to talk about how left out she always feels. So I wandered the Navy pier in Chicago all by myself. I had the most fun I probably did on the whole trip. I only wish I had my sketchbook so I could've scratched out the city skyline (it was really cool). I later got chewed out for wandering (you could've been raped!) but I didn't care. It gave me time to think and exercise my creativity.

Anyway, the group was kind of like that the whole trip-Nik and Amz vs, well, the rest of us. We tried to talk it out, but Amz said absolutely nothing, and Nikki just kept spouting obscenities at me. So I told her I didn't care about her pity party anymore and walked out. Stupid on my part, yes, but if I had stayed there a moment longer I think it would've turned into a fist fight. That girl can't control her anger, but I take pride in controlling mine. Anyway, I hung in Josh's and Phatty's room for a while, trying to harness my thoughts. Whitney came along, but I kind of wish she hadn't. She just reminded me of the fight I'd have to eventually return to.

It never really got resolved. I felt like there was a brick wall between me and Amz. She and I still argue over music all the time. I try not to but...she's always insulting me. She's kind of the unofficial leader of our "cult", and no one knows why. I do. She just has that style, that personality that people cling to. Whit's a follower, Cort's a whiner, Nikki's a bitch, and I'm a loser. But Amz used to be popular. She knows how to get what she wants. Part of me is bitter about this, but I realize as long as she thinks I'm following her, she'll leave me alone. She makes fun of me, and what I do, but I let it roll off (or use it to my advantage) and I end up better for it. I think. I keep my role as the performing monkey, acting like an idiot in order to survive for a while. Really, not one person in my group knows me for real. Nikki might a little-I don't really give her enough credit.

I don't know how she and I became friends. If someone would look at our group, they'd think that Nik and Amz hang out together (both dark, sort of bitchy, and wild) Cort and I hang together (calmer, smarter, and protective) and Whit goes with who ever is around. Really, I can't stand Cortney. ( I mean, I can be whiny, but every other sentance she says is a complaint!) Nikki's lack of self-discipline and constant flirting (she has a wonderful boyfriend, but she flirts-and more-with any guy that has a dick!) drive me crazy. I can't stand it. She probably can't handle my forgetfulness and icy attitude towards our fights. Opposites attract, I guess!

Anyway, that's enough complainting for one day. See ya!
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Thursday, May 27, 2004

   NO MORE SCHOOL!!!!!!
Since I love to quote music:
"No More pencils no more books
no more teacher's dirty looks...
SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER!
SCHOOL'S OUT FOREVER!"

YEA!! I am so excited. I just...AHH!!! Another year over, two more to go. Then I can leave! forever! AHHH!

Semester tests are dumb. After a while I didn't even care. I took 'em, and I'm done. I Aced History, Bio went ok (except for the fetal pig practical test *shudder*) Geometry also went well, and I don't care about English. I only had four anyway. Music Theory didn't have a test because
a) Telkamp doesn't believe in testing and
b)There really wasn't anything to test on (most of the semester was disscusion on History of Rock and such)

I'm having some trouble deciding what I want to do with my life. Yes, I'm only 16, but my 'rents are already pressuring me to decide a career. I really love music, but I still have very little confidence in my abilities. Music Theory made it better, but still. Amz is taking independant study Advanced Music Theory next year. I wanted to do it to, but that'd mean dropping Spanish. Again. I think I'm going to wait till I'm a senior because I'll have a class peroid open for it. That and I've got so much going on next year (College courses, work, and a full class load with chemistry AND Algebra II)that I'd rather take it when I have time to concentrate on it. Also, by then I'll probably have decided wether or not I want to get a degree in music.

And Now For Something Completely Different...

Lately I've been taping Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. My fav anime tally has now increased! :) I have now seen 5 Cowboy Bebops, 3 Triguns, about 2 episodes of a show called Case Closed (which has horrible animation but a good plot idea) and a million episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force (which really isn't anime, but who cares?) The reason I've seen so many ATHF is that I try to tape all night, but my rent's shut the TV off at 11:30-right when ATHF is done. Even when I tell them not to. GRR...Anyway, now that it's summer, I can watch it all the time. Yea for adult swim!


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Tuesday, May 18, 2004

   I want to scream
Yup, I’m having yet another bad week. If I wasn’t so intent on surviving ‘till the end of the year, I might actually care. But I don’t. So I’ll tell all about it anyway. Why? Because THAT’S THE KIND OF MOOD I”M IN. AHH!

First of all, I didn’t get into the National Honors Society. Which I knew I wouldn’t because a) I am not popular b)All of my teachers think I’m a sarcastic little b***h c)I’m not a good influence to anyone anyway. Apparently my parent’s didn’t get the memo. They decided to pull apart my every flaw in order to understand why I didn’t get in. Let’s just say Monday night was wonderful.

Then, I had to find a song for show choir tryouts. I really don’t care this year anyway, because I think I’ll have the same amount of fun in the pit as I would in the choir. My mom wouldn’t stand for this either. She claims I don’t get enough time in the spotlight. And I care why? I’m doing something I love to do-why does it matter if people see me or not.

The worst thing had to be this morning, though. In music theory, we were learning about how to make different instruments from odd materials (like a PVC pipe clarinet and a rubber hose trumpet). Anyway, we were learning how to play trumpet. Nikki was busy laughing at us, which pissed me off right away. I mean, if someone sucked at the saxophone, I wouldn’t laugh at them! Learning an instrument is hella hard, especially brass.

Anyway, I started out ok. We were playing in just the mouthpiece, and I had a pretty good tone. The Mr. T tells us to play the next harmonic. I didn’t know a mouthpiece could play different notes. Of course, we all failed our first few times. He went around the room individually, to try and help us. I asked him about which muscles we’re supposed to move and where we’re supposed to put our tongue. He goes on about how sax players don’t know where their tongue is in their mouth because it doesn’t matter. I happen to know (from experience) that it does matter! I put my tongue to far forward, and the tone get fuzzy and a little flat.

Anyway, we all kept trying. The second time we went around the room, I played for two seconds really bad and he looks at me and says, “You know, so people just aren’t wired to play trumpet. You are one of them,” I’m thinking ‘Great, so you say I suck then?’ I was ok with it though, until he kept going around the room. He helped Austin like crazy, and Austin was just as bad as I was! He didn’t help me at all. Then he goes around the room one more time, and when he got to me and Austin he just says “Hopeless.” That royally PISSED ME OFF! I hate being called hopeless. I can’t stand being told that I am not able to do something. Telkamp should know that by now. That’s why I took that solo. He said it’d be too hard. I said, screw you, and took it anyway. Really, how does anyone know what I’m capable of?

Anyway, I was so mad I kept working on it until my lips bled from my braces. Yeah, not a good thing. And I still wasn’t as good as everybody else. Besides, how dare he call people hopeless after just one day of practice. We’re not all geniuses here. Besides, I usually take a while to get anything, because I always think too hard. And when Whitney did it, he was like “It’s your braces, if you get those off you’ll be much better.” Yea, never said that to me. And Whitney went after me! Grr! Nikki had to rub it in my face that she could do something I couldn’t. I couldn’t handle it. I almost went on a rampage. AHHHH!

I am so sick of...everything. I just want to curl up and die. Or buy myself a padded cell That’d be nice too...
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Thursday, May 13, 2004

   AEROSMITH!!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!!
I went to my first major rock concert last night. AHHH! Aerosmith and Cheap Trick. Cheap Trick...so-so. I only know three of their songs anyway. Aerosmith Rocks!!!! I had so much fun. I was with the cult's resident Aerosmith expert, so she was telling me what the songs were called. (I don't know that much Aerosmith, to tell you the truth. I just went because I get to go to a rock concert.)

Joe Perry is my favorite-just because of the attitude he potrays. That and I love men in trenchcoats! I don't know why. When Joe walked out with the trenchcoat and the tight leather pants and Chuck Taylors...and playing that guitar...Ahh. I usually go for lead guitarist, for some reason. I mean, everybody likes the lead singer, and you never get to see the drummer, and well, I like bass player too, I guess:). It's just that Todd Hamilton seems way to uptight to be in a rock band. Anyway, I usually don't like band unless the guitar is up to snuff...and it doesn't hurt if the guitarist is hot...;)

My parents just about flipped when they found out I was going. They were so pissed. They thought that I was too young and that I was going to get kidnapped or raped or something. Ok, life might be tough, but I'm going to have to go out in the world someday. Like Hell I'm staying here for the rest of my life.

I want to see the world. Yes, the whole world. I want to live in England. Or France, Or Germany or Australia or the Netherlands or...ANYWHERE!!!! I could even handle staying in the U.S., as long as I'm by the coast. I just...I don't know. I want out so bad I could cry. In fact, there was an article in a magazine about backpacking across Europe. I had it all planned out. I was so happy-just the thought of leaving made me smile.

I've decided to aim as high as possible for careers. My whole life my parents have always tried to get me to be a doctor or a lawyer. Really, ever since I was two, I've wanted to be a musician. That's the only reason I learned how to play piano-I wanted to be a better singer. My mom used to try to discourage me. As I got older, I would always think that I sucked and I wasn't good enough at music to be able to do anything with it.

Music Theory changed that. I realized, hey, I can write music. All that hellish pounding I do on the piano can actually amount to something. I've just been a lot more confident in my abilities. I don't think I'm amazing, mind you. I just kind of realized that if I'm not constantly focused on how much I suck then I can get a lot more done.

Anyway, I have three main careers (along with a location)-
1)A musical historian in England
2)A producer for a record company in LA or New York
3)Write music for movies in...anywhere!

Basically that's it.I just have to wait for high school to get over...TWO MORE YEARS! TWO MORE YEARS!!! And then I'm done with all of this shit!
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