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Thursday, November 18, 2004
Hysterical Muse.
The world seems preoccupied with sex- cliques, T.V. ads, shows, movies, music. I don't feel in tune with that anymore. I seek love, true harmonious love. That idealistic, story book sort of love that is very hard to find. The rest of the world just seems focused on sex, period. Teenagers, adults- sex sells, you know. Meaning, there has to be meaning in everything. When you spread the sexuality around as much as possible it devalues the wondrous act itself. Humans are prone to addiction- to drugs, to activities, to people, to emotions, to everything. We can become addicted on a social level- especially to things seen as taboo. It's so silly, so meaningless to waltz in and see everyone just flirting with each other. I'm not really sure why it's meaningless- everyone seems to enjoy it. I just don't find that to be interesting to do on any level unless I'm actually smitten. In other words, the proliferation of sexuality into everything is irritating my senses. I don't really have morals, I just don't enjoy being assaulted with the same themes over and over. It wears on your nerves to see the same sort of things being sold to people all the time and their primal needs letting them fall for it.
Story book romance, yeah. My mother was a romantic, she always ranted on in her drunken stupors about what love was, what love should be, what love should have been for her. How she made a mistake and went down the wrong road, how I should watch out and never make the same mistake [I've realized as of late the mistake she was referring to was me, which is actually relevant. Getting pregnant at 16 is a no no]. I grew up ingrained with the thought of how mystical and mythical love can be, the magical sorts of stories that come from it. Then I reach that age when your eyes open beyond your own environment and you realize how large the world is, how surreal the world is. You are assaulted with figures on divorces and tales of things gone horribly wrong, the magic seems dead in a majority of people. I still believe. I believe in soul mates, I believe you have more than one. I believe that the magic still exists in the ever enigmatic idea of "love" no matter how much people seem to go awry. I'm waiting, watching, seeing. Looking for that perfect someone that I know exists in some manner of life in some manner of place just sitting there like a diamond hidden amongst the neverending dirt, waiting for me to find her. I know that because I believe. I have faith in the mystical, the neverending enigma, the darkness that no human can solve with science or religion. The existence of that which cannot be defined. Why do I believe? Because, I'm eccentric- lol. Logically that is an obsolete idea, an idealistic dream of happiness that is waiting to be untapped just by running into your special someone.
I'm not lonely- I'm just alone. I exist in a state of alone- me, myself and I. My real life social cliques are not of an interest to me, the people there are irrelevant. My family is not my family, they are not my blood, I do not feel an attachment to them. My biological relatives are no where to be found. My sister is still missing in action. I'm just here. lol. It's placid, like an out of body experience maybe. I'm watching people rush about, running towards their mortality at as high as speed as possible- and here I am, sitting here, removed from their world. Just examining, studying, seeing. Run, run towards your death! Work, get that raise! Sex, create some kids! Time is running out for you! All of this is all you will ever get, the second just passed is the only second like that you will have. The clock is ticking towards your demise! Rush, man, rush! No, not for me. The clock is ticking and I exist. There is no material rush for me. Spiritual, intellectual enlightenment. Helping, meeting, befriending people. That is what I do. Money is money, you spend it all the time. Material possessions don't matter- you will die and leave them to someone else. What matters is that you live. Not richly in material possessions, but rich in friends- in thoughts, in ideas. Money buys happiness- but you don't need it to be happy, lol. It doesn't matter that I'm alone, for some reason. I am content because I know it is not permanent. Go with the flow, it can take you where you want to be.
I'm not really sure what the point is of posting these here anymore. Not too many people enjoy this sort of thing, these semi-philosophical rants. But really, day to day to me doesn't matter anymore. It's futile, sometimes pointless feeling. I wake up, I exist, I sleep. I repeat this cycle over and over until whichtime I will pass away into whatever grave the dead rest in. I don't want to write to you about my games or my music or what I ate for lunch today or what my friend did to his other friend. I mean, really- if I don't care about half those things, why should you? lol. I have no problem with people posting that- I read it with a smile, it's nice to learn about you through your words. But I have a problem with writing it myself. I'm not really sure, anymore. Things seem to be losing their color- maybe this is finally true, real depression. No angst, no anger, no dramatic threats of suicide, no self mutilation- just gray. Seas of absolute apathy and nothingness, existing awash in feelings of emptiness. I feel aged and tired, worn down by existing for only 16 years. Weathered. I pride myself on my survival skills though, so I am determined to not disappear. I just need that light in my life, that diamond awash in the dirt. I want to find it- being in love usually brings me unrelenting amounts of joy, lol. Patience. I must be patient. The world is not all gray, it is merely I that is gray. I understand this and I will not lose myself in a sea of depression. I am not going to falter like this. I will not slip into euphoria and neither will I slip into morbid depression. There must be a balance, and that balance is contentment.
I'm going to go now. I'll talk to you all later. Sorry about not being around, but EQ2 is leeching my time away at pretty intense degrees. And, don't worry about me. I have existed for many years in tribulation, I have learned how to deal with it. Reality is not harsh, reality is a balance between depression and happiness. I must balance myself as reality is balanced and maintain a sense of optimism that though I will be scarred many times over in my decades of living, there will be many good times between now and my eventual demise at the hands of the Grim Reaper. Just.. I think I'm worrying again about my sister, lol. I might have an explanation for this melancholy state.
Time to lift myself out of it.
Adios dudes, dudettes, heads of state and otherwise.
P.S. A Canadian friend of mine is going to quote me in a law paper of hers on something I said about gay marriage, lol. The quote from her paper reads as follows.
Kenneth Howell a home schooled Texan from the heart of San Antonio, had this to say, "It's not a question of whether it should or shouldn't be legal. They're people too, they deserve fair treatment and I don't see why it's a question."
It's kinda cool. :) See you later, I have evil to slaughter to lift me out of this mood.
P.P.S. How ya'll doin'?
P.P.P.S Glenn Danzig = Demi-God.
P.P.P.P.S. I LOVE THIS SONG. Best song I have heard in so many months- it matches my mood perfectly..
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Friday, November 12, 2004
Dead and Bloated.
Reply to Comments:
IdF- We're talking roast chicken, bake potatoes, lasagna, tomato pie, and red velvet cake. Oh, and.. pistol. I know what to expect with a shot gun and a rifle, though.
Erin- Exactly. ^_^
Shin- Lakers could get up to the conference finals at best. It depends on how glimmery Kobe is, since the team is pretty much totally dependent on him now.
-----
Mandatory update: In EQ2 I changed my mind and I'm a shaman now. I heal things. Also, I resurrect things. Also, I strike things down with disease once and awhile. In real life, I've had a resounding verbal backlash after offering the fact that I plan to do something "in the military" without making any distinction as to what that implies, or who I would be serving in that capacity- my conclusion? People are still blatantly dull in the head even after existing for six decades. Ben's mother died a couple of weeks back- he'll prolly stop being a JW sometime soon. I feel for him, I hope he's doing alright. I'm going to start practicing on SAT tests so I can graduate this year, I'm not nervous. I'm confident- if I am stupid on anything, I just cram more of it into my head. Learning in the American school system is more desensitizing than necessary or fun. A Hispanic guy from San Antonio was Bush's pick to become the next AG. Yee haw. The insurgents need to realize that one of the keys of guerilla warfare, as outlined by Mao, is that you don't stand and fight a stand, professional army. Paramilitary or partisan forces can not hope to win 1 on 1 with well-trained, well-equipped forces. I'm not really sure what will happen, but no one is going to leave Iraq a peaceful, tranquil paradise. - End mandatory update.
Most people don't really seem to understand what the Blitzkrieg was. It was a doctrine aimed to decimate enemy morale more than it's men. First, you start off with aircraft- they are used as long range artillery. The aircraft strike at enemy fortifications and troop formations, trying to bring about an air of panic and lower morale before the battle. You organize your army into mobile forces with excellent command and communications- these forces are going to be able to keep up the momentum during the battle, to continue to roll across them as quickly as possible. You focus all available forces on one point in an enemy line- you are going to try to punch a hole through them. Your infantry combined with heavy artillery do just this- once that is done, your tanks rush through the hole and are now striking many miles into the rear of the enemy- sometimes, even hundreds of miles. This opened up the possibility to decimate the enemies logistical support- lightly armored, easy to hit targets. This starved the enemy of supplies and information, lowering morale even more and spreading a sense of confusion/lack of awareness as to what was going on in the battle. What is the successor to this doctrine? The Rapid Dominance doctrine. There are striking similarities between them- Rapid Dominance relies on high amounts of effective communication and combined arms to confuse the enemy as much as possible. However, it's been adapted to a more modern view- the Rapid Dominance doctrine includes a liberal use of close support air power and a heavy focus on the central command structure [the Blitzkrieg didn't focus on officers getting the central command's permission for alot of moves- they were to make decisions based on their own opinion and do it as quickly as possible]. Rapid Dominance seeks to destroy the enemy's willpower in another way- instead of decimating his supply lines you ravage his command and control structure. This doctrine is also known by a more popular term started in 2003- Shock and Awe. It actually, ironically, is similar to a guerilla tactic- it is how terrorists got their name. It's purpose is to inspire terror, to cause fear in the enemy- you destroy your enemies willpower to fight. So, basicall- *trap door opens up underneath him*
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........!!!
*THUD*
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Saturday, November 6, 2004
Chrewbacca, what a wookie.
Comments on comments:
Erin- I dunno. Sometimes I take great pains in making some meaningless post just to see if meaningless posts are more "popular" than my deep ones, lol. Thusfar, people seem to enjoy having a face full of meaningless than to be assaulted by my opinions on philosophical, religious or political subjects. I have too much shit flowing through my head I guess. They might not make me more popular, but I cherish the people who put up with my long ass rants, haha. Ironically, I think today I don't have much deep to spurt on about- so I suppose we'll have to go with meaningless stuff, hm?
The San Antonio Spurs beat the former powerhouse known as the Lakers last night and two nights before that beat Sacramento- basically, Californian basketball teams got their ass kicked by a good ol' Texas team. The season just started and thusfar the Lakers, who lost Shaq and a few other key players over the summer, are 1-2. So what we have here in Texas so far are two undefeated teams- the Mavs and the Spurs. I wonder how long it will last. I expect the Spurs to win the Championship from the Detroit Pistons- the Eastern Conference doesn't deserve such a trophy. ;P
What other things can I inform you of. Ah, yes. I installed my video card with ease yesterday. As soon as I started the computer up, a little window popped up that essentially told me that I either give the thing more juice from the power supply or it cuts the performance of the video card down. It was a convincing argument, so I pittered back into the depths of my computer to untangle all the wires that stemmed from the power supply. The thing has more juice now and it seems quite content in my little computer. I also learned that my motherboard can handle 3 gb of DDR RAM, lol. I won't need 3 gb of course, but this thing could be even more of a gaming monster than it already is with ease.
My grandmother is a very, very talented artist. She has sold several of her paintings to various places, including a couple of collages and a courthouse I believe. She gave up her dream to become a secretary to my father's insurance business. I recently started to encourage her to start back on her painting and finally she has- she is loving it. She gets sucked into her paintings and seems to go into her own little world. I'm glad that she is finally doing something constructive with her life, lol. To me, she has lived a waste existence- a prefect example for why I am not going to fade away into normal living. Maybe she will finally change into someone doing what she truly wants to do.
Lol. They have been pestering me about what I am going to do after I graduate from high school. They have no idea that I already have a myriad of plans, I just can't tell them about any of it. So, I have to play the lazy teenager until whichtime the time comes to begin my journey into the great morass of gray that is known as "life". Just, shh- don't tell anyone, ok? This is our little secret. ;P
Now, it is time for some form of survey or something. Ah, here we are. Something from Kei's site.
Some Things You Don't Know About Ken (and some you do)
-I'm banned from 11 message boards. It's not what you think- when I was 12 I was a pretty annoying piece of shit who did alot of crap just to rile people up. But, still- that is my record, lol.
-I'm a firm believer is psychic power [psi].
-I like Rice Krispies.
-I can cook.
-I have 26 PS2 games, 16 PS1 games, 7 GC games and 85 PC Games [doesn't include old PC titles which are in storage in my room- prolly about 100 or so in there alone.]
-46 of those are RPGs of some type [TRPG, MMORPG, etc.].
-I have 104 music CDs.
-98 of those are heavy metal CDs.
-The most recent IQ test I took said my IQ was 137. [130-145 is "genius", supposedly. lol.]
-My 'theme song' is Change (In The House of Flies) by the Deftones. It is a song I have listened to many times over the past three years. It talks to me, it is in my language if you catch my meaning. It seems to detail most of how I feel and have felt for the past 16 years, lol. I recommend you listen to it, it is a fantastic song- and it means something to me, for some reason. Take some time, download it, ask me for it, whatever- just listen to it. Maybe it is in your language too.
-I have a large Pokemon card collection that includes alot of Japanese holos.
-I also have a large collection of varying types of plushies that keep an ever-vigilant guard over my computer and my room.
-The pinky on my left hand is double jointed.
-I like Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew.
-I also like around 10 webcomics that I read almost daily.
-I have a NationState.
-I'm an extremist.
Slightly more serious things
-I've smoked, drank and tried a few drugs before.
-I don't recommend doing any of the above. Although vodka helps out many a soul, lol. But yeah, ain't worth it.
-I have alot of scars on various parts of my body.
-I'm homeschooled.
-I've seen a woman get hit by a car.
-I've fired a gun.
-No, it wasn't at someone [not yet, anyway].
-I have a tradition of mouthing off to anything I want to. [From age 2-4 it was a "phase", from 4-7 it was me being "a kid", from 7-12 it was a "bad attitude", from 13-now it is me "being a teenager".]
-People think I'm funny.
-I'm a student of history, philosophy, religion and society.
-I can't draw much beyond weird, abstract shapes and a cartoon pig I named 'Humphrey the Humongous'.
-I love rain. I sit in rain, I walk in rain. Rain is magical to me, I enjoy it whenever it comes and wish it came much more often.
Up Just Another Level
-I do not support anyone committing suicide.
-I'm pro-gay marriage. Let whoever loves each other get married.
-My ideological view is technically a form of Communism. Other ideologies I've followed are fascism, anarchy, anarcho-socialism and Trotskyism.
-I'm pro-abortion. In irony, I was almost aborted. lol.
-I'm not a pacifist.
-I believe in soul mates, emphasis on the s in "mates".
-I believe love to be something that we will never define correctly. It is, in essence, pure magic.
-I think the song "American Idiot" is liked only by ignorant idiots.
-Unless you just like the tune, of course. It's lyrics are idiotic, the tune is nice. lol.
-I've very spiritual, but not in a mainstream religion term. It is most akin to shamanism.
-I can stomach the sight of blood and guts with mixed results. Sometimes I cringe a bit, sometimes I'm unphased- depends. lol.
-I've never broken a bone throughout my many injuries, haha.
And that's about it.
Later dudes, dudettes, heads of state and otherwise.
P.S. Most interesting read of the week.
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Friday, November 5, 2004
Dumb Love.
I have only one real fear that exists in my mind as of late. I should rephrase that- I'm not afraid of anything on an intellectual level except for this "one real fear". At the more primal level, things still irritate me- heights are a good example. I know, logically, that I can't fall off this building or this high place- there are fences or guard rails there, I can't get through them. But, my instinct is really spazzing out over just how dangerous this situation *could* be. Intellectually I know that the probabilities of something occurring on this tower or at this high place that would cause me to tumble to my death are slim to none. But, just in your gut you're like- "ergh, this is bad, this is high, if I fall... yikes!" etc.
Intellectually I fear the religious concept of pure evil. I was raised a Jehovah's Witness, which is an extremist branch of Christianity [started relatively recently, actually]. They are purists in all senses of the word- they follow the Bible to the very letter [their interpretation of it anyway] and are very adept at engraving into young people's minds most of their concepts, opinions and ideas. Some of these concepts are good- the Bible contains many good teachings in it, meshed between the Jewish mythology and the Christian dogma. It teaches alot of things that most people could stand learning- things about happiness, humility, unselfishness, forgiveness- all that good, mushy sensitive stuff. But tied with this is the main protagonist of the entire tale- the bad guy for the Bible. Dramatically, it's an enigmatic character who is described in most of the parables and visions as being some form of reptile- a serpent or a many-headed dragon. Satan was one of the angels in God's regime who decided that he didn't like being lorded over. Ironically, he fought the totalitarian regime of a tyrant- a theme that most humans admire in other humans. We admire people who fight for what we perceive as "freedom" and yet we so vehemently hate the one figure in Christian mythology who sought to attain his personal freedom from what is, by all accounts, a theocratic dictatorship that allows no personal freedom to it's servants [the angels]. If this was a human government, it would be a pariah state that no modern democracy supported- none of the western powers would support a theocratic dictatorship, especially one that displays such a liking of violence and destruction to those that question it's rules [Sodom and Gomorrah is a good example of this, I could bring up more but that alone is a great example.].
That is what I fear. The Bible reiterates it's point over and over that evil is there- it's actually alot like the current U.S. administration, rule by fear- controlling people through their fear. The Bible, like said-administration, warns repeatedly that Satan lurks about, like a lion seeking to devour your soul. Another verse states that you shouldn't fear those that can kill the mortal body- you should fear those that can kill your soul. These points are just constantly repeated- hell, even Jesus is tempted by Satan when he goes into the mountains and fasts. This didn't scare me as a child because I was a whole-hearted supporter of God- I was a great Christian and preacher, I went from door to door placing magazines as best I could. One time, I placed 22 magazines on one Saturday morning- that's 11 households. You might not think that's alot, but think of how many times you've turned a Jehovah's Witness down. I had to deal with neighborhoods full of that, lol. It was pretty gruesome work, especially during the summer- walking around for 2-3 hours in the Texas heat or the Texas humidity was killer, you'd be sweating like a goddamn hog and getting pissy little arrogant skinheads who thought slamming the door in your face was better than telling you nicely that they weren't interested. Not that I'm still irritated at the discourtesy most people give to people who are being more spiritual than they could ever hope to be.
Anyway- Evil. I am not a Christian anymore, I am more "new age"- I guess that would be the correct term. My idea on spirituality does not include any organized religion at all. I have no idea if there is one being of evil- my thoughts on the subject are that we are making something from our species past into a character. The common themes throughout many cultures or religions include some being of evil who's malevolent goal is generally no less than the destruction of humanity or the world. I think that there was something else- not a being of evil, but some other thing that *was* malevolent towards humanity that scarred our subconscious for eons to come. Something that destroyed us many times over for several generations until it was defeated or went away. What was it? I don't know. I just have a feeling that we gave a face to that nameless scourge that damaged us so and that is why it is common amongst cultures to have a being of pure evil whose goals include the destruction or harm of humanity. I don't know if it was something supernatural, if it was one of our natural predators as we evolved, if it was something physical- I have no idea in hell, I just have a feeling that it isn't one of the many beings of evil that have been feared by cultures/religions in our history.
But, this still haunts me. It is still in my head that there might be a being of evil who is out to get me- and since I'm not a Christian anymore, what would protect me? lol. I know logically and scientifically that that is really silly, as who am I to be corrupted by such a "glorious" evil creature? I'm a nobody, I'm worthless to any deity or demi-deity. I'm just another body in a mass of billions of bodies. I'm not the President or something, lol. Also, all of these weird little episodes where I feel like something is trying to infiltrate my soul never lead to anything- I wake up the next morning and I am fine, there is nothing there. I guess I should describe it to you. It's like something is seeping into my heart- something is clouded in my head, something feels amiss like someone is trying to take me away from myself. The only thing I have that resembles that is the image of some horrid being of pure evil seeking to rip my soul away from myself. I have no idea in hell why I feel like that sometime, I am positive there is something more logical- maybe it's just simple emotions, lol. It just feels alien, like there is some other type of entity trying to seep into my head, a darkness or something. I have no idea in hell what it is, I don't believe in Satan or anything like that- but I don't know what it is. It just happens some nights, it feels like I'm going to have my soul ripped from me or something. I *know* logic, logic must prevail- spiritually it *could* be possible that there is something malevolent that seeks to corrupt your mind, but I doubt it is a demon. Demons are agents of Chaos technically- Devils are agents of evil. Technically, I that would put me in league with demons- lol, I love chaos. Studying it, partaking it, watching it. Chaos is beautiful to me.
So I am trying to defeat what was burned into my head as a child and trying to figure out what it is- the only common thing between all those experiences is that it is late at night. Maybe it's just fatigue? I have no idea, I have fealt fatigue before and it doesn't make me feel *scared*, lol. Evil, it is not personified in a single entity- it could exist in a race of something supernatural, but I have not seen any supernatural beings as of late. I doubt it is some form of an entity that is seeking something malicious, but then again I have no idea what it is. I think that it is a combination of my fear and irrational thought- it's because of my fear that I think that it's something more than, you know, something like fatigue. If I didn't have that fear there is the possibility I wouldn't be thinking there is any entity, stereotypical Satan or not, seeking to harm me in some way. I have no idea.
But that's my only fear. I don't know how to go about defeating something that I have no logical answers on- with heights, I know that I won't fall down. Solids cannot pass through solids, and that guard rail is as solid as anything. But the supernatural and the entire subject in general is enigmatic- any "answer" I could give you would be nothing beyond hypothesis. There is no way to acquire substance to an opinion on this, in other words- I can't disprove there is something like Satan out there, just like you cannot prove there is something like Satan out there. That makes it more difficult to defeat a fear that I deem "illogical" even when I have no evidence to support that being illogical. Ugh, those experiences are weird- I'm sure I'm blowing it out of proportion. This all leads to one conclusion, if I fear something I cannot let it conquer me. If there is something that is seeking to contaminate my spirit, I will fight it until the last of my breath is let out. I will not fall into slavery to anything- no man, no beast, no spirit. I can fear, but that will not stop me. Until I get some logical explanation for those "episodes" where I feel as if something is trying to take me over or contaminate me, all I can do is be assured in my heart that I won't fall, I am not an evil person. I might enjoy chaos and it's many forms, but chaos is not evil. Chaos is nature, chaos is all around you- only humanity introduced the notion of order. Chaos is all of nature, it exists in everything you touch, everything you see. Order is an idea made by humans to increase their survivability and is, technically, not natural in any other thing on Earth or most things on Earth. If chaos was evil, that would make most everything around you evil. lol.
I don't think any of you has an opinion that could help me with this, as- like I said- it's a matter of opinion. I'm not really sure what to tell you- maybe I'm a little too suspicious of the supernatural, a little too eccentric. But I swear, it is the most alien feeling that could ever be felt by a man. It is just strange, surreal- it is something your mind rejects and seems to be fighting. It is probably something as simple as fatigue, but- who knows? Stranger tales have been told. I just know it's something normal, things with the supernatural I always blow out of proportion because of my upbringing. But hey, if you have something to say- say it. You might have an idea or something, lol. Maybe something scientific about fatigue or something. Heck, even a random comment about how l337 I am in the picture above this post would be delightful. I don't think I can do much more thinking on this topic, because it just leads to the one eventual ending- I can't prove *anything* I think. While I don't believe in any organized religions idea on a black, evil lord of darkness that does not say anything about some other form of malevolent entity. It's just weird. The trend is that I have one of those weird experiences, I go to bed, nothing's happened- so I'm thinking that it is just some strange side effect from extreme fatigue that is amplified by the fatigued brain into something it's not. I guess I should be thankful that it probably isn't an entity of evil, huh? lol.
Anyway. My video card came today and the prettiness calls to me. This should be sweet. Hope you all are hanging tight, nice and sweet in your little Otaku lives, huh? Stay alight then, chin up if you're down- etc., so on.
Later dudes, dudettes, heads of state and otherwise. Stay cool.
P.S. Nazi Germany was defeated in WW2. Prior to and during the Nuremberg trials, all the captured Nazi's were kept in Nuremburg Prison. The highest ranking Nazi kept that jail and brought before the Nuremburg Trial was none other than Hermann Goering- the founder of the Gestapo, leader of the Luftwaffe and formerly a very influential person in the Nazi party [he fell into disfavor after the failed attempt by the Luftwaffe to force Britain into surrender through the Battle of Britain, a plan he advocated- this coupled with the Luftwaffes failures during the Russian campaign and the failure at stopping Allied bomber attacks further stripped him of influence in the Nazi hierarchy.] The Allies let a German intelligence officer and psychologist free access to all the prisoners held in Nuremberg jail- his name was Gustave Gilbert. He document his conversations with the prisoners in a book- Nuremberg Diary. A conversation he had with Goering is something most people should take into consideration as we go about our daily business in this day and age. The quotation from the book is as follows. Here, a deflated, defensive Goering and an intrigued Gilbert are discussing various things- imagine, one of the higher ranking Nazi officers sweating in this hellhole of a prison, awaiting his death at the hand of the Nuremburg trial. His ego, defeated, his country, defeated. Here it is.
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We got around to the subject of war again and I said that, contrary to his attitude, I did not think that the common people are very thankful for leaders who bring them war and destruction.
"Why, of course, the people> don't want war," Goering shrugged. "Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece. Naturally, the common people don't want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship."
"There is one difference," I pointed out. "In a democracy the people have some say in the matter through their elected representatives, and in the United States only Congress can declare wars."
"Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."
---
*grins*
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Thursday, November 4, 2004
Dam That River.
Reply to comments:
Lea- People find ways to pull guilt trips from me if I happen to offend their oh-so-special selves. When I don't feel like putting up with that, I warn people- many, many times over. After that, it's in their own hands.
Shin- Good for you Shin, I supported Badnerik too.
Erin- Maybe I could educate them to be pacifist first? =X
Mitch- I had a feeling Bush would win too, I just had to see how it turned out minute by minute. I'm a dork like that.
Irish- I respect you and all but uh, that's my point- living in a country that advocates freedom at a "no matter what" level would sort of override the dictionaries definition of said-word. There is a difference between just voting based on religion or religious views and voting based on who you see as being more *moral*. I would be fine if they used that in combination with rational, intellectual decision making but morality is too gray and silly a topic to be using in a national election. I hold spirituality in high regard, if you find your spirituality through mainstream religions, that's dandy. But I also revere intellectual, objective thought and that should be combined with any spiritual or religious leanings you have to create something rational- any fool could tell that Bush has the morals of a dingo, lol. Was Kerry better? I don't know, but I haven't seen him start any wars that killed a ton of civilians.
---
Heh, yesterday's post is ironic considering I find the best form of government to be a benign dictatorship. But really, democracy is flawed. I preached about it and preached about it, but never told you that, unfortunately, that is the sole proof it is made by men- it's imperfect, the "best we can come up with". Of course, this still leaves the option open for it to be improved, if anyone gave an ear to listen to what people thought should be changed. As we are the younger generation, our time is coming where we are the people in authority, if you wish change to occur then you should rise to the occasion.
It's almost that simple.
Anyway, Bush is President. I was was a supporter of Badnerik, I'm not as crushed as most true democrats are- there is talk now that the Democrats need to do some soul-searching. You've heard it, it is pretty heavy in the news- everywhere from FOX to CNN to the AP, lol. I agree with that, actually- and I also hope that, as the two parties are the only ones people choose from during elections, the 2008 democrat will be a much better candidate than Scary Kerry. Edwards seems like he is going to maybe try for it again- that's cool, he was a likeable, smart guy. We'll see what happens, huh?
Whomever you voted for, the whole message behind this is that you did it intellectually- you examined all your choices and selected which was the best for you. I know that all of you did, you are very sharp individuals- but you are a very, very, very, very minute portion of millions upon millions of people. I doubt that the majority of people did it in a pseudo-scientific way like that. Would it help? I don't know. Would it hurt you to do it like that? lol. I doubt it.
I'm preachy, I know.
And, I won't ever stop being that way- I know. ;P
I'm going to bed, I'm really tired. Have a good night/morning/whatever.
Adios dudes, dudettes, heads of state and otherwise.
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Wednesday, November 3, 2004
I've got a bad feeling about this.
I think I've finally lost whatever collective cool I had built up over the last few months in a few hours of staring at old men on CNN. A ton of bullshit starts here, if you are sensitive, fuck off. I don't want to hear your delusional rantings to me about me offending your ideals, morals or religion because your ideals, morals and religion can go fornicate themselves on an iron spike in Times Square. That might have been a little harsh, but you understand. I'm a very, very irrational human being right now and I don't feel like being trifled with. No, I'm serious. I apologize ahead of time but I have warned you- I am not in my most sane, rational or caring frame of mind.
OKIE? THX VERI MUCH, BAI. ^^
I feel a great deal of pity for America for the next four years if the election results continue like this. It's 4:13 AM and the election boils down to whoever wins Ohio of all places. I mean, nothing against Ohio but I'm pretty sure not many world-effecting events have depended on you for their conclusion. I'm sure it's a delightful, delightful state full of happy, little humans who like to dance or frolic in whatever Ohio has to offer. Yeah..
I'm disappointed. Democracy is this. It's hard to describe my disappointment, but *this* is it- it's become where the only choice people seem to perceive them as to having is between the two powerhouse parties. What happened this year was, as Nader put it, a decision to vote for "terrible" or "horrible". What made it even more disappointing is that between the two, the popular vote is really in Bush's command- what's wrong with my and your peers? Are they dull in the head or something? I think it should be legal to slap dumbass people around once and awhile- it would help relieve stress/high blood pressure and, maybe, teach a few people a hard lesson in what being "smart" really is. You know, "smart" in the form of a fist or a purse or the front of your car.
Anyway. At this moment it seems that Bush might win Ohio, which would push him over the 270 votes needed in the Electoral Collage vote- which would make him president again. Let's go over this really slowly, ok? Bush got into and still is involved in the very domestically unpopular war in Iraq. The economy is sputtering upwards way too slowly and there are many, many lost jobs that occurred under his administration. He loses all the debates to Kerry, get smacked by a popular conspiracy theory that he had some sort of a receiver that went up into his ear to help him during the debates [clearly visible in many photos]. A little movie you might have heard of comes out a few months before the election called F 9/11 and becomes the highest grossing documentary movie of all time. His approval ratings are below 50 percent. Most of Europe [80 percent] state ahead of time they would prefer Kerry. A week or so before the elections all those explosives in Iraq just go "missing". Bush is winning the popular vote- and by by 3-4 million people.
*sigh*....
Here it is, the problem with democracy. I am it. I am the minority in my opinion, which means that the government deems my opinion as second class to the majorities. I'm supposed to just go "hey, that's no problem- although it's my personal belief, I can handle being shoved aside just because of numbers". That's it. Here, on these reports, 53 million people are becoming the "minority"- and if they lose, they are supposed to just go along with it. To put it in perspective, that "minority" is larger than many, many sovereign countries- Spain, Poland, Canada, the Netherlands, Sweden, Switzerland. I mean, maybe it can't work as well any other way- but that's the best we can do for a large, multi-cultural country with hundreds of millions of people? To screw over millions and millions of people's opinions? That is horrid.
I can't do anything, I'm powerless. Even if I could vote, I would have tried to participate in a 'real' democracy- I would have voted for a third party, pretending that people actually looked at all the candidates opinions instead of just siding with whichever of the two "major" powers they hate less. I'm glad that some people do, really- some people have the decency enough to spend time studying the candidates and choosing the person who most represents them, even if it's a third party that might not even win 5 percent of the national vote. If you did that and found Kerry or Bush to be your man, that's great- I just want people to spend the time and then decide, instead of flickering like a candle in the wind depending on which campaign's tv ads you see the most. I know the people that read this are more intelligent than that.. but, as I said, we are talking about millions and millions of people. It will never work as long as they remain lazily/apathetically ignorant.
I just want it to matter. This.. this election, this one man- that one idiot, that stupid fucking simpleton has the power to destroy nations at his whim. That one psychopathic chimpanzee-esque Neanderthal might be the leader of the only superpower on earth for another *four years*. I mean. I know of people who are actually *preparing* for some sort of "what if?" that involves alot of unregulated, unrelenting chaos in an attack on the scale of 9/11 just because Bush won. Or, maybe, he'll finally lose all his marbles and the cycle of republic to dictatorship can finally finish after all this procrastinating that has happened for the last 200+ years. Maybe it'll just be normal- you know, just as normal as it was the last four years. *ex-es out two military invasions and 9/11 from the record*
*shakes his head* A term for some people is "biomass". The norm, the social order of ignorant human beings who exists solely to consume oxygen while they scurry about pretending to know what is what and that they have a true, higher reason to exist. People who are producing unnecessary waste and not much else on this planet. Expendable in all senses of the word- military and otherwise. Civilian casualties I have no qualm about, death by fire is a fine incursion into heaven for any well-off Christian neo-Nazi who voted for that nutcase.
Dude, people were voting based on morals- MORALS for Christ sake. Those bible thumping airheads voted based on which of the *PRESIDENTS* was more MORAL to them- you stupid fuckers. You poor, stupid fuckers. Just.. why? Why would God allow disciples who were so fucking stupid. That should be a sin. Stupidity and ignorance should be a sin, then all these holier-than-thou tightwads might actually spend time voting based on issues and not their human-made, irrelevant morals that have no real place in politics. Morality is created by humans. By you, you create what you view morality is. Even the morality the bible gave- the Bible wasn't inspired by God, come on. It was made by men. Morality from the Bible is still morality created by a person, a person like any other person- like you, like me, like anyone. Your morals should be your own- you should discern what you feel the limits are. You shouldn't judge people based on that, especially not when you find "morals" in a President whose ill-conceived invasion and quick capture of a ton of sand, rocks plus pissed off extremist knuckleheads has been rumored to have led to 100k or so civilian deaths in that sandy piece of shit nation. I mean, FUCK- come on! How fucking broken in the head can you be to not see the paradox in that?
I declare an open revolt against ignorance. It starts here. Educate the fools you come across, smash it into their ear with a fucking potato masher if they don't listen. Spread intelligence. I know you are all a smart bunch, share it with people. I *know* some of you are irritated to a lesser extent by the shitheads around you. Teach them, come on. *shakes his head* I don't know. This is just very strange, this whole election. Even most of Europe thought America was better than this- now they know that we at least 57 million idiots, lol.
Four years of Bush, it seems.
It begins now.
Tree of Pain.
By the FUCKING WAY, gay marriage has nothing to DO with the future of our country. As you may or may not know voters in 11 states voted against gay marriage because it makes Jesus sad as shit and we do not fucking want that, now do we? Marriage is marriage- it is about love. Marriage is obviously only as "sacred", "powerful", "holy", "word that means something like I've previous listed inserted here" depending on the love involved, not the sexuality. It doesn't matter if it's two guys or two girls or a dog with a cat or a mouse with a elephant, if they love each other and can make marriage last, let them get married! Religion is irrelevant- secularize the government or proclaim a theocracy, zealots.
Freedom! That is what we are supposed to preach. Freedom for Nazi's, Satanists, Muslims, Communists, Rosicrucians, Jews, Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, Grays- that's the American way! We like freedom, right? Freedom in alot of respects. Heck, we like the paradox involved with *forcing* people to accept freedom! It gets us off. :) So let them be fucking FREE. Let them marry whomever they want to, whenever they want to. God, marriage is beautiful- you should let it remain such- love is love. If love is love, why does it matter? The GOVERNMENT gives certain BENEFITS to married people, aka OFFICIALLY MARRIED PEOPLE. If it was just a matter of "yay, we love and fuck each other- lets do a traditional ritual to tell everyone about it" then it would be very, very simple. BUT IT ISN'T- of course. Simplicity would be way, way too quaint.
But remember- the stake of your country isn't dependent on whomever wins what the definition of "marriage" is or who can get married or if we should smite homosexuals in the name of Jehovah since we're so religious around here in the U.S. government.
Freedom. Let it ring. Etc. So on, curse words inserted here.
I hope to get married or something like it to a girl I love with all my heart and soul someday- that is how it should be. Love, that's what it's about man.
Loveeee is, is what I got. I said remember that now, loveeee issss what I got, I got, I got, I got.
Bloodletting.
On a sidenote, don't try drugs/alcohol. They are worthless.
I'm done ranting, raving and foaming at the mouth. I knew I would have alot to say after the preliminary election night, so I gave you all awhile off up to yesterday. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I'm rather.. spirited. My preaching bears listening to. It also would be delightful to get some opinions, some intelligent ones since posting this with comments on implies I would appreciate feedback.
Whomever you wished to win, I hope you find contentment in your soul and continued peace in your life. Also, Erin- I'm glad your friend is alive. I hope she recovers as quickly as possible with all my heart. =)
I depart now to the more chaotic, untamed recesses of my mind that require solitude to tread into. Old scars are trying to emerge as dominate forces in my emotional stability, lol. It's the skeletons in my closet. They like to try to get up and walk sometimes.
You know what I mean. Meditation is the key to calming the soul, deep thought- CONTEMPLATION! All are good routes. Silence, you and existence. The best cure for anything. Just to exist for a few moments and feel it, ahh. Yeah, that's great, just existing for a bit.
Anyway, yeah. See you later.
Sayonara dudes, dudettes, heads of state and otherwise. Continued luck to you.
P.S. Twas good to get that off my chest. Coherent opinions linger somewhere mixed within the colors of my personalities touch. Once more- offense is not to be taken to my words.
P.P.S. I love this piece of art.
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Tuesday, November 2, 2004
Calm before the storm.
I'm holding my breath, waiting to see how the elections turn out. I'm still alive, rest assured- just a little distracted, you know?
If you want a brief news update, I got a new video card- clicky. It should serve my purposes well, you know? Finally, for a few months at least, things might be back to looking glimmery, pretty and as beautiful as possible on my games. After two years of total shit, lol.
I'm quitting SWG. My clan leader is bolting for EverQuest 2, which is coming out on November 8th- so, I'm tagging along. Who else is going to play EverCrack 2? Maybe we can hook up, hunt some shit. I'm going to be a Swashbuckler- you heard me, a swashbuckler! How Ken is that? Yeap, a wood elf swashbuckler- that's pretty Ken, right there. Arr, he's a pirate yes he is.
Um. NBA starts tonight- how about some random commentary on it? Dominant force in the western conference= Minnesota TWolves and the San Antonio Spurs, baby. To a lesser extent Houston too [Texas has arrived- if only the Mavericks were still a great team, lol.] With the Fakers dismantled due to superstar egos, it's time for real teams in the West to step up to the plate and dethrone the reemergence of the East. The threats in the East? Anywhere Shaq is is a threat. The Pistons are a goliath of a team, doing what seems to be the impossible as of late- playing as a team instead of a collective bunch of superstars. They exist in unison and they achieved greatness by working together. Teams in the East I will be watching? Pistons, Pacers, Heat. I dunno if the Pistons can be dethroned- but I know the Spurs will be in the playoffs, you can count on it. We Texans will do our best to kick the yanks down. <_<' Go Spurs, that's all I have to say.
Finally found a few RPGs to join on OtakuBoards- l337 Ken action indeed. Feels good, yeah. Feels plenty good.
Anywho, this mundane update was mainly as a filler to make you aware that my existence in this dimension continues to be tangible. Aka, I'm not fucking dead. I'll prolly have something more intelligent to talk about after the election, denouncing something prolly- lol.
Later.
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Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Echoes.
Sometimes, I feel like an antiquity around here. Some sort of faded character who needs to pass on, exiting stage left and staying that way for the rest of the play. Like I'm not really apart of the "community" anymore, lol. Oh well. I always appreciated the intoxicating enigma of being a pseudo-lurker.
OtakuBoards is still a very warm community for people to come into, and somehow it feels the same as when I joined it way, way back in V3, lol. I feel old. :( All you younguns have way too much energy for uncle Ken to keep up. It is surreal how much time I've spent online in the past few years- 24/7, 365 practically. Home schooling doesn't leave you with alot of social outcroppings to just appear on, so I suppose this is my "hang out" spot. Still, it's odd to be such a lifeless drone to a form of communication. Maybe I'm making excuses, but that seems valid to me. I've met alot of people and it's surprising how many dramatic situations can be conveyed onto the internet- things you wouldn't expect to happen, happen. It's a very odd sort of place, where it is so very informal at the base level of it and yet it can transform into something very human.
I don't know what it was that drug me here- I was looking for Dragon Ball Z pictures and landed at TheOtaku.com, staring at the L337ness of SSJ4 Goku. It was sometime before 9/11, I know that- I was a lurker at first and when 9/11 happened I came onto OB to see how people were reacting. I remember that there was this long ass thread started by someone full of the stereotypical reactions of the time. I finally joined in the early morning hours of October 5th for some reason- I guess it was on a whim.
And the rest, as they say, is history. I was a n00b in every sense of the word, I made friends, I was a mod, I was in big brother, I made more friends, I existed, I lost my modship, took a three month hiatus, returned and existed some more. An aging roleplayer with no good roleplaying threads to join, lol. Faded idol, maybe. :P
Oh well, I'm glad I still have my small clique of diehard friends. ;P
The Weapon They Fear.
I have become more dangerous in my mind. Suddenly I am finding, as of late, when I speak in intellectual threads on OtakuBoards my opinions have substance to them- used to, I would run out of fuel for the fire after my initial description of my opinion. I'm not really sure what is going on, I suddenly *feel* 'intellectual' instead of vainly trying to *be* 'intellectual'. It exists in my doctrine of the moment- I am sure of myself. Why? Because if I am ever wrong, I can learn from my wrongs and better myself that much more. With this I can learn from people's mistakes, opinions or otherwise and consistently become better in any area that is relevant to this. It is a very basic doctrine, but one I had never really considered up until now- people are too sure of THEIR opinions, instead of being open to other's ideas to develop into something better, smarter, stronger.
I exist to change. I am a believer and student of chaos- to me, there are too many advocates of order on this Earth. There needs to be a balance between order and chaos for the ideas to even exist. What is more chaotic than some forms of change? Stagnation of opinions, ideals, self- that is not chaotic. That is placid, peaceful and also a very irrational thing to do in a world that thrives on the idea of competition- what do you think capitalism is? They train you for 12 years to fight. Where? In the world they created. You are studying to be capable to fight for positions in whatever profession you feel- to work harder than the other guy to get your promotion, your raise. You are being trained so that you are A.) Mature, intelligent and sensible. B.) Have the capabilities to go to collage to study for whatever profession you wish to be in. C.) With those two in hand, you are turning yourself into an able competitor for whatever profession you will be in. If you stagnate and refuse to change or evolve your opinion, you are losing the battle against your competitors. Even in a Communist government there is, to a degree, competition- social, at the very least. Competition has been a factor in human society since the beginning of time and it will continue to do so, although it is in a transcended state.
So, even without the capitalist element, competition is a key part of human organization structure. All of you are being taught so that you will be better able to succeed on this planet- whether it be in the capitalist corporate structure or in your social clique. How are you being taught social things? You have schoolmates. The dynamics of high school cliques are well documented and talked about for a reason- they impact you heavily for some reason. Most people seem to remember those situations or even be affected by them emotionally for the rest of their lives.
To me, it's a world of ants. Ants trying to give ourselves meaning. Through religion and science, it's like we're trying to prove something- but to who? The answer is, ourselves. We want to be special somehow, we desire uniqueness in our social structure, our business structures, everything- "new!" that catches your eye, doesn't it? Something unique, something grand. We desire that feeling of independence and glimmery uniqueness in most everything that we create or exist in. But what am I? I'm an ant without a purpose. I don't want to go to collage, get married, get a job, lose a good part of my life, retire and wish I had done something more than work, sex and keep my kids in working condition. That has value, but it's not what *I* want- if you want that, that's fine. But you aren't me. I want to leave little ant footprints that other ants take notice of, you know? Glory, fame or something like that. Hell, if I can leave little ant footprints that attract the attention of something as large as a human, that's even better. I'm determined to leave my mark on the world, or die trying. I'm not content with the normal little American life and, thusly, I'm not going to pursue that in the least.
We all do as we wish. That is an idealistic dream. I do as I wish, I know that to be true. I doubt many of you do as you truly, deep down in your heart are wishing. Why? That's not really accepted anymore. There are norms, standards people, places, organizations and more are supposed to adhere to. Why? Because, logically, without order most things human would collapse. I respect that- it doesn't mean I have to follow it. I am my own person and I have been given a very short existence on a fractured, mundane planet filled with ants milling about in their respective lives. I might as well attempt to do something with it beyond that.
I don't want you to follow me. This is my own idiocy, my own flying off the handle. But it is really what I want to do, so I will do it. If I fail, I fail. There are no great rewards without great risk. I do not fear death, but neither do I desire it. We are all mortal. I will not pleasure myself with a false feeling of redundant safety, I will strike out into this world. If fate deems it fatal, it will. I am bound to die from nature as of now, so what is the point in prolonging life as much as possible by being mundane? I would rather live a few exciting years than decades of normal, run of the mill life. I *will* do something glorious, damn it. I desire it with every ounce of my being and I will work for it until whichtime I pass away.
Roll the dice.
Apathy.
Let's switch gears since, for some odd reason, all my serious, personal posts get no replies from people. Haha, how weird is that?
Well, for my gamer audience, I got "Jump to Lightspeed". That's the much-talked about expansion to Star Wars: Galaxies. I'm hoping it will be cool- from being subscribed for 360 I actually have gotten a free space yacht that is invulnerable to fire, lol. I'm hoping to someday pilot my favorite ship from Star Wars- the B-Wing. How sweet is the B-Wing?! It was designed by Admiral Ackbar and it roxxorz your boxxorz. Ironically enough, I'll have to be a master alliance pilot to pilot the thing- so, long trek to my dream, here I come.
I'm a wookie in SWG. Yeap, large and hairy- thought I should go for something to resemble how I am IRL. I'm going to be a rifleman and a ranger- basically, I can snipe shit, track animals/players and make nifty, large camps. How fantastico is that?
If any of you play SWG, I'm on the Corbantis server. I'm a pretty old oldbie as you can tell by my prior mention of reward for a year of subscription, so I can teach you a thing or two if you randomly join sometime in the future. Heh.
Viva la republica.
Night of the Long Knives.
I got Final Fantasy: Chronicles too, so I can understand what the hell is going on in Chrono Cross beyond the crappy "catch up" part they give you in the Chronopolis, lol. I am hoping to finish it sometime soon, but with SWG and all my time is suddenly being heavily sapped between it and my ever-glorious posting at OtakuBoards. =P Wish me luck in all my gaming undertakings, as fighting evil is a very hard thing to do.
I have nothing further to say right now. I will speak to you all later. I'm off to SWG. =)
Sayonara dudes, dudettes, heads of state and otherwise.
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Monday, October 25, 2004
Enemy, mine.
*waltzes in and hunkers down with "Bring the Noise" by Anthrax"*
Welp', it's time for another long-winded, pseudo-philosphical rant about something kooky or deep. Today's topic will be abou- *tasered*
. . . *silence*
Quiz Day
You are Sweetums.
A hard exterior covers up the soft sweet center of
your soul. And you love to eat humans.
SPECIAL TALENTS:
Really big dance steps.
FAVORITE MOVIE:
"Big"
QUOTE:
"Wait for me!"
LAST BOOK READ:
"Taming Your Outer Beast"
NEVER LEAVES HOME WITHOUT:
Robin the Frog
What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
The Sun
Your personality is solar. You are bursting with
inner vitality, warmth and strength. You shine
on everyone around you and make them feel good.
Your friends all adore you - and when you
aren't around them they miss you terribly.
What's Your Celestial Personality Type?
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You have a fiery soul. You aren't the quickest to
get angered, but when you do get angry things
can go really wrong really fast. You are
generally very passionate in the things you do.
(Rate my test)
What force is your soul?
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I'm One Hard Core Mother Fucker! HOOOWAAAHHH!!!
Wow! You're hard core! You really know how to
party. In fact, you live for it. You use and
abuse your body to the utmost. Be careful,
though. That shit's gonna hurt in about 10
years....
Are you making the most of your youth?
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You are cool and smart! You always know how to
react to different kinds of problems and you
have a happy life... you probably have a lot of
friends and they all like you a lot.
How miserable are you?
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I post weird poetic stuff no one understands
why is YOUR livejournal annoying?
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Taroscope For Ken
Tue 26, Oct 2004 |
Explosives | Special Delivery
The FedEx driver accidently delivers a ticking package to your house which is supposed to go to your neighbor. It smells like gunpowder. Do not open it! You must remember that opening other peoples mail is wrong, and that you should deliver it to it's rightful recipient. | 
Treasure Chest |
|
| The Atomic Den |
Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's
beauty and just the life that no-one else sees.
Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't
mean you're not friendly!
Please rate ^^
What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're a Winter. You very much enjoy your time
alone but do like other people's company
sometimes. You just need your space. You have a
few priviledged friends who saw past your
colder exterior to find the true you. You can
have pretty bad mood swings (though you hate to
admit it) so you could be soft one second then
storming around the next! But over all, you're
a very pleasant person once people take the
time to get to know you. You're a good friend
for in-depth talks. You're very talanted when
it comes to creative things.(If you can't see
tje pics, go to my homepage and look near the
bottom and find your result)
What season are you? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Which Wolf's Rain Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
And to finish it off...
"Answer all of these questions with a lyric from a song.
1.) Are you male or female?:
"Yeah- he's a winner, he's a goddamn sinner."
("Ape Dos Mil" - Glassjaw)
2.) Describe your neighborhood:
"I see a line of cars and they're all painted black With flowers and my love, both never to come back I see people turn their heads and quickly look away, like a newborn baby it just happens ev'ryday."
("Paint it Black" - Rolling Stones)
3.) How do you look?:
"In disguise, as no one knows."
("Black Hole Sun" - Soundgarden)
4.) If you could say something to the person you like, what would it be?:
"In a haze, a stormy haze / I'll be round, I'll be loving you always, always.."
("Parachutes" - Coldplay)
5.) Where do you wish you were right now?
"Around the world, around the world."
("Around the World" - Daft Punk)
6.) What would you say to your best friend?:
"That's why I say 'Hey man, nice shot! Good shot, man'. Thats why I say 'Hey man, nice shot! What a good shot, man.'"
("Hey Man Nice Shot" - Filter)
7.) Any words of wisdom:
"Maybe life is like a ride on a freeway, dodging bullets while you're trying to find your way. Everyone's around, but no one does a damn thing- it brings me down, but I won't let them... Though you hear me I don't think that you relate, my will is something that you can't confiscate. So forgive me, but I won't be frustrated by the destruction in your eyes."
("Staring at the Sun" - The Offspring)
8.) What do you wish you were doing right now?:
"Two round holes cut into this fabric and I will slide it over my head. I'll chase you for all hours-.. I never see you make the effort to chase me. Now your final place is this lake. Stare at me now on your way down."
("Crystal Lake" - Poison the Well)
9.) What do you think of drugs and alcohol?:
"Sweating, freezing, itching, bleeding, self styled poison, a lethal meaning, face down, helpless in 48 hours- sickness."
("Sickness" - Superjoint Ritual)
10.) If you could say one thing to your enemy, what would it be?:
"The bullet hole looks so right in your head like it'd been missing all along.
The blood streaked across your face like some twisted lover's deformed
lipstick trace.."
("Restraining Order Blues" - Pig Destroyer)
11.) What do you usually do on Friday nights?:
"One more time, we're gonna celebrate!"
("One More Time" - Daft Punk)
12.) Are you for world peace?:
"Total war is here, face it without fear
Age of sword, age of spear
Fight for honor, glory, death in fire!"
("Death In Fire" - Amon Amarth)
13.) What do you think about school?:
"Hey, teacher- leave them kids alone."
("Another Brick In The Wall, Pt. 2" - Pink Floyd)
14.) How do you feel right now?:
"How long, how long will I slide?"
("Otherside" - Red Hot Chili Peppers)
15.) Any closing words?:
"They will see us waving from such great heights
"come down now" they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away
"come down now" but we'll stay"
("Such Great Heights" - Postal Service)
P.S. Chin up, kids.
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Saturday, October 23, 2004
Angry Chair.
Conspiracy theorists target the one dollar bill's back side alot. I'm a student of insanit-.. um, mythology/cryptology/whatever, so I take an interest in this. Most of you are American, so I suppose you would want to know about it too. Take out a one dollar bill and just look at the back of it.
Or, you know. Just keep scrolling down.
The basic question that conspiracy theorists pose is "WTF". Yes, that is a unfinished pyramid on your one dollar bill. Seems like a cause for alarm already- what the hell do pyramids have to do with the great US of A? That's a great question! Then there is all that latin- what does it mean?! Could they be saying evil things about my mother on this dollar bill? Damn government! Insulting me on their currency! Then there is that weird floating eye thingy- is that thing glowing? It might be causing me cancer! I'm infuriated! Then you have the fact that it has spread through popular fiction books and other forms of communication that this seal alone proves there is some sort of a tie between the [ever prone to conspiracy theories] Free Masons and the fantastico nation of America. But wait- it's not just the Freemasons. The Illuminati comes into play here, yes. Yes, yes- the Illuminati. The word means "enlightened ones". It has come to mean many things to many people but it is most identified with the Bavarian Illuminati. A secret society that was a republican freethinker movement stuck in the overtly aristocratic, conservative state of Bavaria. That, of course, attracted attention- all secret societies were banned in Bavaria, including the Illuminati and the Freemasons. The organization collapsed- at it's height it was said to have two thousand gentlemen of all sorts of scientific and artistic professions. But, even today, there lingers rumors and evidence suggesting that the Bavarian Illuminati survived the collapse and could well be still in existence today- mayhap manipulating governments, abducting people, brainwashing innocent children, etc.
Well, bugger. From all this evidence alone it looks like there is some sort of a fifth column infiltrating America and seeking goals that do *not* include freedom, democracy and big ass corporations invading your town. Err. I mean, capitalism. *Shrugs* If you think that, that's alright. But before you go off the deep end with supreme ease, you should do what I ranted about yesterday- be objective about it. Learn about X subject before you rant about X subject and believe that X subject is true. Now, let's begin with what it is supposed to stand for.
It's supposedly called the Pyramid of Progress. There are 13 layers standing, of course, for the 13 colonies. They are separated into the layers for symbolism- each one of them is a separate 'state' working as a whole for a greater cause. It's unfinished because, way back when, they did not plan to have America *stop* at 13 states- the work of building the country was not done. It was merely the beginning. Now, as to *why* a pyramid was chosen- none of the things I read, no one I talked to knew as to why the pyramid was chosen for this symbology. The only half-reasonable answer I heard was that, at the time, it was assumed that Egypt was the cradle of civilization- the very first one, the birthplace of modern "humanity". Aside from that, there really is no clue as to why the pyramid is there aside from maybe the pyramid standing for :solid strength and duration". The Roman numerals are easy to discern- if you caught the symbolism of the Roman numerals in my last post [DCLXVI] , you should decipher it fine. But if you are not good at that sort of thing, I'll go easy on you. The Roman numerals there are MDCCLXXVI. That is 1000+500+100+100+50+10+10+6, respectively. 1776. Nothing too hostile there, huh?
Above the PoP is a glowing eye in a triangle. That is called the Eye of Providence. The Eye of Providence is a symbol that can be, ironically enough, traced back to Egyptian roots- specifically, it's mythology dealing with the Eye of Horus. However, it's modern incarnation started popping up in the 17th and 18th centuries. It stands for the watchful eye of God- the omnipresence of said deity, he is always watching you. He is there, he is with you. The triangle around it is a symbol for the Trinitarian system of Christianity- the holy spirit, Jesus and God as one. The glowing rays are just for effect, I'm afraid- dunno if it doesn't cause cancer, though ;). The first real signs of any conspiracy could be said to start right here- with the watchful eye of God.
The Eye of Providence was adopted by some form of Illuminati to signify their ability to slide into any organization at any place on the globe- in effect, they are always watching you with their spies. The triangle can easily be transformed to be Greek letter of Delta. Delta signifies change- mayhap a change from the then-global wide sickness of conservative imperialism? Who knows. Combine this with the fact that Pyramids are overtly pagan- clashing with the prevalent message of Godly purity on most other currency- and you have a dollar bill that seems to be steeped in what could be discerned as a blatant clue that something is rotten in the state of America [;)].
Alright, about those mother-insulting latin words. The latin words annuit coeptis means "God has favored our undertakings". Combine that with the Eye of Providence and the Pyramid of Progress. You get God watching over the development of the nation of America and favoring it over any other- which is disturbing enough a message, ignoring the idea of a third party poisoning the administration. Very bad, either way. Oh, odd coincidence- count the number of letters in "annuit coeptis".
Novus ordo seclorum. "The New Order of the Ages" is how the government translates that- continuing on the track with the "presented message" in lieu of the "conspiracy theorist definition of the message", this means that, beginning with the signing of the Declaration of Independence in 1776 [the year on the pyramid], a New Order of the Ages has begun. A very, very convincing prophecy considering the proliferation of Democracy. However, the literal translation of this latin phrase is "New Secular Order". Why is that a problem? Secularization is a term that you should be familiar with, what with France's headscarf ban being in the news and all. You still don't know? *sigh* Secularization is basically taking away the religion out of something- when applied to Governments, it means that there is a separation of the church and state, they are *not* one and the same and the politicians do *not* campaign around describing their religion as being one of the reasons you should elect the silly fucker. Basically, it's the phasing out of religion from X thing. If you've been following along on the conspiracy theorists take on things, you know you have here the Illuminati placing pagan symbols on our dollar bill, putting under our nose key clues we have been ignoring. This ties into that- who better to benefit from secularization than scientists? Science has been inhibited by morality and the opium of the masses for eons- religion has put our species back by centuries do to their dogged idiocy pertaining to science. Without that, there would be no 'moral question' when it came to science- as it should be. So, why wouldn't a secret society of liberal scientists who dislike religion *not* want a secular world order?
Now. The question remains of the conspiracy theorists as to how the Illuminati would place these clues on our great dollar bill. They prided themselves on infiltration. One of the organizations they are said to have infiltrated is none other than the Freemasons. Freemasonry is very prevalent secret society that has hundreds of members- many of them famous people you would know of. Mel Blanc, creator of Bugs Bunny. Harry S. Truman, former President. General Douglas MacArthur, Supreme Allied Commander of the South Pacific during WW2. The Ringling Brothers- come on, you must know of them. You know, the circus brothers? Joseph Smith, founder of Mormonism was a mason. Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's was one. Franklin D. Roosevelt., former President [he was the President during most of WW2]. Heh. George Washington was a fucking mason. Paul Revere was a mason. Theodore Roosevelt, former President. William Taft, former President. Hell, "The Duke" [John Wayne] was a Mason. Ben Franklin was a Mason. Seems like anyone who was someone was a Mason. Now, there was only one Mason present when the Dollar bill was first created- that was Benjamin Franklin. It seems that, as far as anyone can tell, he had nothing to do with any sort of Pagan symbology on it. However, it seems this overtly Pagan design was first submitted to the Treasury in 1935 when the Illuminati brotherhood was widely accepted to have spread from Europe into America and infiltrated the brotherhood of the Freemasons. At that time, many Masons were upper echelon government officials. Vice President Henry Wallace was one of them, and most academics now believe the design for the Great Seal was lobbied for by Wallace. Whether he made his decisions as a covert Illuminatus or innocently under their influence, nobody will ever know, but it was Wallace who convinced President Roosevelt to use the design. Of course, conspiracy theorists enjoy pointing out that Franklin D. Roosevelt was, as I said, a high ranking mason.
So, where does this leave you? Hm. I've presented you with an objective outlook. Between the improbable and what the Government officially says. What do I think? What does it matter? Either way, I'm boned. Either you have an overt, almost fanatical, religious Great Seal or you have one dripping with fifth column clues. I'm fucked either way.
What was the point of this? I dunno. I found it interesting. Look around you- things are more complex than they look. Even just half of this tiny dollar bill can lead to heated debates between men of intellect- amusing, isn't it? Make your own opinion. I keep an open mind and I like surprises- it wouldn't shock me if some sort of darker organization was at work, pulling strings. Truth is always stranger than fiction.
Oh well. Whatever you believe, it's an interesting series of tales and counter tales.
Keep your eyes open.
Adios dudes, dudettes, heads of state and otherwise.
P.S. You guys are too quiet. Say something. Even if it's silly- this wasn't meant to spur you into a delirium of intellectual commenting. lol.
P.P.S. Let the eerieness begin.
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