Tuesday, September 14, 2004

And I said, 'I don't understand why I'm fumbling after...'
Creativity is one of the most dangerous powers that any form of being could ever possess and use. Invention of physical ideas and philosophical ideas have brought down things big and small- from empires to men. It is a blessing and a curse, really- it's so powerful that even ideas created by men long dead still enslave people. I'm not really lamenting or anything- it's just a fact of life. I'm quite glad it exists, of course- it's just interesting to observe the ramifications of how the dynamic of personality plus creativity together can be horrendous.

I mean, look at religion. Nothing personal to the religious people, but you are devoted to it entirely, correct? You serve a master, a god, a deity. You listen to his "words" [with most religions] via prophets or books written by prophets. Your 'eyesight' on the matter is different from mine, as I'm an agnostic. To me, you are following something someone or several someone's created, an idea. That isn't bad of course- just, it is an idea that cannot either be proved or disproved- something that makes it hard for me to even consider believing in. And, from your standpoint, I might be full of folly- I believe in things that cannot be proved or disproved, things that could possibly be fabrications formed in someone's deepest chambers of imagination.

It's fascinating when you can step back and realize how much you believe in could be so false, so fake. Even more so when apathy [I think it's apathy] sets in- the passion of following a cause or an idea, of believing in something surpasses logic [is it logic?] somehow. The logic that says "I have never seen a God" or "I have never seen magic" and yet you firmly believe in things spiritual or magical with fierce devotion. You defend your ideas, your God when others question it. Why? Just based on belief. You have 'faith', you are a follower- you are an underling to a superior being, supporting it via belief or worship or whatever.

I'm not really sure why people do that. Most people tell me that without religion there is no hope, but that is simply false. I have no religion and I vest my hope in the intellectuality of mankind [amongst our other unique traits]- my hope is in humanity. Maybe that is just as silly to believe in as religion- maybe, maybe not. Who knows?

Looking through the pages of history, through the pages of mythology- the bonds between cultures runs deep. The common, stereotypical ending is some sort of an apocalypse that destroys the earth in some form- or it destroys all 'evil', in whatever form you believe evil to be. I hope not, really. I hope we aren't just a race created to serve unto the end of time- so much of being human is the free spirit, that spark that has made so many events happen. And yet, I am to believe our wise creator would snuff that out, one of our most blessed traits, based on his own idea of good and evil?

Ah, what a sad day that would be. In my ignorance, in my fumbling about as a mere mortal, there is the possibility I cannot grasp the concepts of how a God or Goddess or whatever/whomever would think, but from my silly, mortal point of view that is simply bullshit. A lot of bullshit. And if God is reading my diary, I want him to know I think that's bullshit.

I don't know. I don't know if humanity is it's own God or if we are being ruled by such a being. I don't know if there are myriads of Gods or just one- I guess I'll never know. What I do know is that I have seen the power of men and their blindness to it, their inability to detect how much power is sitting up in that brain. The fallible nature of men mixed with this power is so potent, so very potent that it has lead to millions upon millions of death. But, eventually, I am hoping that someone with good intentions will wield the power that is prevalent in our nature- of invention, of adaptability, of creativity and so much more, all the things that come naturally that we take for granted.

It should come to fruition, damnit. All of that talent should be worth something on a grand scale, something beyond just our normal technology hopping, our normal research. Something like a world government or something. Something that would unite mankind instead of all these shitty, little divided races, nations, religions. All this segregation we bring upon ourselves when we are really all brothers, all one race. Ugh, how idealistic, how quaint. How out of reach that is.

It is as bad as following a religion, these thoughts. Yet, if it could happen, I wonder how wondrous it would be- how powerful a united Earth would be. What would they call it? The Terran Nation perhaps. It's fictional, it won't happen. Not peacefully, not from war. Ah, it's easy to lose your faith in things once you stop being such a zealot..

I don't know. What do you believe in? Why? Because you were raised to? Because you found it on your own? Because you have nothing else to believe?

What makes you a follower of what you follow? Or, what makes you a leader of what you lead? Why do you think the things you do? Is it for hope? Is it out of necessity? Is it because you feel it natural, that your belief has to be true no matter what?

Why do you believe in what you believe? It must be important to you, because you believe in it, you follow it- you are devoting your blood, your time, your life to it. It largely makes you, you- your opinions, beliefs, what you follow. So, share it. Tell me what you believe in and why. What cause or religion or whatever you are passionately devoted to.

Let's hear it.
Comments (2) | Permalink

Monday, September 13, 2004

Another Brick in the Wall.
I had a rousing discussion with my mother today about the Gulf of Mexico. Ah, yes. She thinks the name should be changed to something more politically correct, like the Gulf of Texaco [ignoring the fact that Texaco is an oil company]. This is fundamentally flawed off the bat since Texas was apart of Mexico, but she wouldn't shut the fuck up so I had to listen to her deranged ranting.

Apparently the name of a body of water like the Gulf of Mexico denotes ownership. I was not completely aware of this, I was told somewhere way back when that it was more the location- IE, just by chance, Mexico is located somewhere nearby the Gulf of Mexico. You know, in the general area, yeah? But, apparently, this is not the case anymore. I suppose that India owns the Indian ocean and Atlas the Atlantic.

Ah well, I digress. It was interesting that she literally feels that way. I asked if she was just yanking my chain or something, but she wasn't [unfortunately]. I dunno what to say really, it was sort of shocking to me. Heh.

I've been downloading alot of music lately. A big chunk of it is stuff by the Foo Fighters- their older stuff. Everlong and the like. It's great music, to be sure and I recommend it to anyone- especially songs like Breakout, Monkey Wrench and the aforementioned Everlong. Also download "The Wizard" by Black Sabbath. <<

Well, I'm off to some form of sleep.

Sayonara dudes, dudettes, heads of state and otherwise.

Comments (1) | Permalink

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Megalodon.
How about some hot survey action- now with

****50 percent less wit!****

[Basics - you knew they were coming.]
//name: Kenneth Andrew Howell.
//age: 16.
//birthday: August 10th.
//location: San Antonio, Texas.
//sex: Male.
//school: Homeschooled.
//siblings: 1[?].
//siblings age[s]: 13-14[?].
//parents: Tammy and John.
//are your parents together?: Nein.

[Currently...]
//currently reading: Angels and Demons by Dan Brown, Hamlet by Shakespeare.
//currently listening to: Blood and Thunder by Mastodon.
//currently writing: A new book of the Bible. It's entitled "The Book of Booyaka".
//currently watching: Muted TV.
//currently wishing: That I could have made this a quiz day but.. ya know. Gotta wait for a ton of new quizzes.
//currently wanting: Everything and nothing.
//currently crushing on: No one.
//currently in [what room are you in]: The Den.
//currently wearing: Jeans. Shirt. There's also a leech on my ches-OH MY GOD!

[What's to your...]
//whats to your right?: The computer on the floor, the TV, bookcases.
//whats to your left?: The Couch of Ken, The Lamp of Ken and the Lesser Trashcan of Ken.
//whats in front of you?: Desk, monitor, shit on desk.
//whats behind you?: The Other Couch of Ken and the +3 Coffee Table of Divine Justice.

[Favorites]
//favorite book[s]: The Cay. I just like it for some reason.
//favorite song[s]: "I Won't Lie Down" by Face to Face, "The World I Know" by Collective Soul, "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath, "City of Flickering Destruction" from the Legend of Mana soundtrack.
//favorite artist[s]: Hmm.
//favorite writer[s]: Mmh.
//favorite food[s]: Indian, Italian, chinese.
//favorite color[s]: Crimson.
//favorite subject in school: History.
//favorite room in your house: The door to the outside world.
//favorite place to be: In the rain.
//favorite movie[s]: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, any of the Pink Panther Movies, anything with Peter Sellers in it, Dr. Strangelove, Silence of the Lambs and Clerks.
//favorite tv show[s]: Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
//favorite store[s]: Do stores currently engulfed in flames count?
/favorite clothing brands[s]: ... Do clothing brands currently engulfed in flames count?

[Love Life]
//boyfriend/girlfriend?: No.
//if so, how long?: It's funny you ask that.
//if not, do you want one?: Heh.
//who do you like?: No one.
//have you ever told anyone [other than family members] you loved them?: Yes.
//did you mean it?: Yes.
//how many guys have you kissed?: 0, unless something happened on that night I can't remembe-.. Uh. Zero.
//how many girls have you kissed?: I didn't know I was supposed to be counting.
//how many guys have you dated?: Good question.
//how many girls have you dated?: 5.
//what do you look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend? [physically]: I'm don't really care. Although, I'm quite partial to asians, redheads and gothish girls though- damn whoever gave them that power.
//what do you look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend? [personality]: The twinkle in their eyes. Haha.
//longest relationship?: Well over a year.
//shortest relationship?: Technically it was a few months but she.. moved on in a different way, you could say.

[Have You Ever...]
//had sex?: ;D
//given oral sex?: *stretches*
//received oral sex?: *cracks neck from side to side*
//drank alcohol?: Yes.
//smoked?: Yes.

[Do You...]
//drink alcohol?: Sometimes.
//smoke?: Sometimes.
//watch porn?: :D
//do drugs?: Not anymore.
//self-harm?: Not often.

[Your Bed]
//size: Queen.
//sheets: Blue.
//how many pillows: One.
//stuffed animals: An army, rest assured. Even DeathKnights need a guard as they rest.

[Odds n Ends]
//obsessions: Spreading the sickness.
//bad habits: Biting the skin around my nails. I also am constantly fidgeting or in a state of motion- I hate being still for too long.
//weird fact about yourself: I have a double jointed pinky on my left hand that I wasn't aware of until someone pointed out that I can't straighten it out that well. o.o;
//what kind of music are you into?: Rock, metal, classical, trance.
//best concert: I haven't been to many concerts.


[This or That]
//summer or winter: Winter.
//spring or fall: Spring.
//summer or fall: Fall.
//winter or spring. Winter.
//clean or dirty: Dirty.
//night or day: Night.
//rain or shine: Rain.
//grass or pavement: Grass.
//radio or cds: CDs.
//vhs or dvd: DVDs.
//board games or computer games: Computer.
//light or dark: Dark.
//movies or mall: Movies.
//football or hockey: Hockey.
//hockey or lacrosse: ... Hockey.

[What do you think when you hear...]
//metallica: Has beens.
//britney spears: Wish that she was a has been.
//christina aguilera: I reiterate the above.
//kiss: ARGH.
//queen: So-so.
//good charlotte: I declare an unholy crusade on the Good Charlotte heathens- TO ARMS.
//simple plan: You are undeserving of a crusade yet still irritating- I piss on you. *zip* .. *tinkle tinkle tinkle * *whistles* *tinkle tinkle tinkle tinkle * *tink-...* *-le* *shake shake * ah.
//thursday: Pretty good.
//bright eyes: Not so good.
//bad religion: Pretty bad.
//bad company: Worse.
//scorpions: So so.
//journey: Meh.
//otown: Mmmm... Baby flesh.. *slurping sound*
//backstreet boys: No.

[For/Against]
//same sex marriages: For.
//gun control: Against.
//legalization of pot: Uhh. I don't really care either way.
//birth control: For.
//abortion: For.
//war: For.
//bush: Against.
//kerry: Against.
//authorities cracking down on illegal music downloaders: Against.
//anti-ken legislation: FIRMLY AGAINST! What idiot would ban Kens from their right to Ken it up?! It's a war on freedom, I say!

[In Your Own Words]
//your life motto: "Disk Read Error."

[Quotes]
//favorite quote: " Nimirum insanus paucis videatur, eo quod Maxima pars hominum morbo jactatur eodem." [He appears mad indeed but to a few, because the majority is infected with the same disease.]
//favorite lyric: There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a'blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a'glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes!
The danger must be growing
For the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing! [or Sublime's What I Got- I sing it in the shower alot with a few other rock songs.]
//favorite oxymoron: "Army intelligence." ;)

[Personal Hygiene]
//do you shower every day?: Yes.
//what toothpaste do you use?: Uh. Aquafresh as of now.
//do you floss?: Yes.
//mouthwash?: Yes. I use Listerene Antiseptic. Nothing like a ton of fucking pain with your nice smelling breath.
//deoderant?: No shit. o.o;
//shampoo?: Some form of dandruff shampoo that should be classified as a high yield biological weapon.

[Looks]
//hair color: Black.
//eye color: Dark Brown.
//skin color: Is Half-Mexican a color?
//nail color: Normal, I hope.
//height: 6'3".
//weight: 260.
//build: I'm like a tank. I'm large, semi-fast and I announce myself well before I arrive.

[How Often Do You...]
//go shopping?: Oh, all the time as you can imagine.
//go to the movies?: Not often.
//go out for dinner?: Somewhat often.
//clean: Sometimes.
//exercise: Pretty regularly. Gotta keep my girlish figure. .. Wait.
//watch tv: Too much.
//read: Too much.
//go online: Too much.

[The End]
//did you like this survey?: *zip*
//should i make more? Nein.
//are you glad it's done? Yes.
//what are you going to do now? *tinkle tinkle * *whistles* dum de do..
//what are you going to do later? Mmmmm. Arson. Er. ..Bake some cookies.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, September 9, 2004

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
I like to delve into topics that deal with the paranormal, occult and mythology. I'm an avid reader of conspiracy theories, urban legends and webpages devoted to how you can hone your inner clairvoyant. I'm not really sure why, considering my upbringing. Jehovah's Witnesses are very close minded- they teach the young in their church that all other religions are false and that things like the paranormal/occult are demonic. I was raised in that sort of atmosphere and somehow became fascinated with studying this subjects. I don't quite know what to tell you what parts of it could be real or not- I'm not one of those "I'll believe it when I see it" people. I think anything and everything is possible, once you consider the facts. Like, mythology. There are common links between the mythologies of ancient cultures, things that are related- for example, the great flood. I'm sure you all know the biblical account, but accounts of massive, destructive floods appear in numerous culture's myths. These links seem to point to some myths having basis in fact. Logically there must be something that these are based on- especially with their prevalence in cultures around the world. Of course, I also have flights of fancy. I'm a believer in some things that aren't really logical or maybe even rational to believe in. I have the fond hope that this planet has a little more magic left in it that most assume. It's kinda crazy, kinda foolish but hey- doesn't really matter. My world consists of fairytales and it really isn't that bad.

You can never have too many fairytales told to you and you can never believe in too many fairytales.

Well. I guess that depends.

Ah well, you know- this was all inspired by a post on OB from a seemingly dubious person. You probably can find the topic I'm talking about quite easily if you wanted to. It just inspired me to write the previous, I suppose. Hm. Just seems to me that flights of fancy are lovely to drown in as long as you mix it with intelligence.

Dunno. It's nice to be that way, haha. But, right now I'm tired so I think I'm going to go get some rest.

Have a nice sleep.

Sayonara dudes, dudettes, heads of state and otherwise.
Comments (1) | Permalink