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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Does anything good happen to me anymore?

Well I've had one of the most upsetting weeks of my life. Not only is school bothersome but my grandma had come home last week on Friday from the hospital but then she went back Sunday since we called an ambulance (she fell) and this Monday we find out that she has bone cancer and some other type of disease. My family is being completely unreasonable about everything. One of my less sane aunts who I used to think was cool until five years ago said that she didn't want my grandma to go through the necessary medications that would making her better and saying things like they're only offering the treatments because they want money and that it's all a conspiracy. Honestly I think the world would have been better off if she were the one in the hospital instead. My family has such a long line of cancer victims and they all survived it except one who died in February of 03. The chances of me getting cancer when I'm older aren't as slim as I would like them to be, but it seems to me like it's something that might just come with the passage of time. It's just really strenuous on me, now.
It would seem that I am the only one who is called upon to do any minor and major chore in the house. My mom's got my little brother and I working like slaves now. It's all very agitating. She doesn't understand the fact that our house is NOT wheelchair accessible, she thinks that putting in a makeshift ramp would be just fine. I told her that was a bad idea but she wouldn't listen to my reasoning and pushed it back on my asking me what I supposed we should do instead. I wanted to tell her that now that this has happened our house is not the ideal place for her to live but my mom would have gotten bitchy about that as well so I just told her I didn't know and she basically yelled at me for doubting the ramp idea.
School hasn't been much help at all, I've had homework by the dozens! This morning I had to wake up early for the zero hour bus only to find that my mom, who was supposed to wake me up in the first place, come in yelling at me about not waking myself up and about how late I was. In a futile attempt to still catch the bus I got up, got dressed, and headed outside. I walked to the bus stop and when there was no one there I checked the time, saw that I was at least ten minutes late, I walked back home indignantly. Even though I came home in a fit of swears no one even bothered to note my irritation as I noisily retreated into my room to wait until my normal bus route to come at seven thirty. This is all peculiar behavior from me, I've never been so rude as to come home swearing that loudly in my life! Still, my mom didn't even care, much less get up. It's starting to appear to me that she doesn't care nearly as much as she should. Still, if I come home from school and have to wash dishes that I don't even use (she and her husband and their family SOMEHOW manage to fill both sinks with dishes I've never even seen before in my life and they're all disgustingly dirty since no one bothers to empty their plate or take their cigarette out of their cup (that's how I know it's them >.>)) I'm going to explode >.<
Anyways, I'm really very sorry about the long rant today, I'm just really not happy at all. I hope you all are doing well. Take care everyone, byeness.

Tales of Starry Heavens

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Friday, September 7, 2007

Almost One Week

Well, here's the thing: I've been absent for about a week now from school because I've been sick (I know, again) I've got a project due today and my group is going to be so upset. I hope that they're able to get an extension since I'm not there. I had all my information, too. Well...if they really needed my help, though, they would have at least bothered to call me, right? They both have my phone number...
Anyways, I've been watching Howl's Moving Castle constantly and even convinced my mom to like it, too. My step sister cleaned my room for me partially so I guess I don't hate her as much (she cleaned it because she was using the computer and didn't like it being dirty in here, plus I was sick, so I guess that gives her brownie points)
Ironically enough, the day I was in school, I stayed for anime club. I love anime club XD We watched .Hack//sign and I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Afterwards I stayed at one of my friend's house and it was pretty fun since we watched Howl's Moving Castle XD
Well, my mom said the school called and told me to contact my teachers for homework and crap and I have a major math test on Monday so I'm going to force myself to go to school that day. Plus anime club is that day, as is a bunch of exams for PE (like the PACER, curl up test, push up test, etc.)
Anyways, my brother said he might be coming home from college this weekend and being sick got me out of a bunch of unnecessary chores. On the downside, I feel like crap. So much so that even sleep isn't comforting.
Well, You guys take care, okies? I'll talk to you all later. Byeness ^-^

Code Monkey AMV

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Monday, August 27, 2007

So many things gone wrong...I'm so exhausted....

Alright, my brother just recently went off to collage. At first it didn't bother me much but yesterday...My grandma is never feeling very well anymore. She just sits around on the phone or complains and nags all the time. I'm worried for her but at the same time I'm annoyed as hell. Every time there's something that needs to be done it's always her resorting to calling us constantly. Even when we do answer she acts like we're deaf. By the time we get to her we already know what she wants. Recently my aunt came over. She and my grandma woke me up and told me to make them some hot dogs. I was upset but I did what I was told without complaint (already unlike me since they woke me up so early) I was confused but made four hot dogs anyway but then we didn't have any bread. I went upstairs, told my grandma, and then my aunt told me to go to the gas station and pick some up so I cleaned myself up and got dressed and headed to the gas station on my bike. Shockingly they had bread and I used my own money to pay for it. I then road my bike back to the house, got their hot dogs ready and brought them upstairs. After I was done with the whole hot dog thing I went into my mom's room and finally setup the main connection for the internet up in my room so that we'd get more out of it, also since wireless went bitchy on me. It took a while until I got it right, but eventually it worked. I went to AniTube and randomly clicked on an anime and then started watching Hell Girl (Jigoku Shojo) which was awesome and managed to cheer me up. Then my mom took my little brother to one of her husband's relatives houses 'for a little while'. That was at around 12 PM and it's 11 PM right now, they're still not back and he has school tomorrow. If he gets to stay home for that I want to stay home, too. The only reason I was staying home anyway was because before she left my mom said, "You don't mind staying here, do you? The granny needs someone to look after her and I don't want to hear her complaining when we get back. Please make sure she's okay?" I didn't plan on going anyway but this made me especially upset. I said okay anyway, though.
Yesterday I had asked her if I could go to Borders with her, too and she said they weren't going to Borders. When she comes back she brings me books from Borders and says that she saw the books I like (manga) but didn't know which ones to get so she got me Wicked, Confessions of an Ugly Step Sister, and some book of a movie she'd seen somewhere. I was grateful but disappointed. Had she told me they were going to Borders I would have gone or at least told her what to buy...
I haven't had much time to watch Hell Girl, let alone do my homework this weekend (yesterday morning Mikomi (FMAKraze711) was over since she'd stayed at my house on Friday and we spent a pretty boring time together) I did laundry earlier, too, but that was for me since no one else was going to do it (besides, I'd been in school longer and gone through more clothes than my little brother) My elder brother called a few hours ago and at least he sounds like he's having a nice time in collage without my mom to pester him or stick that collar around his neck like she did when he was here.
Anyway, I've got homework to do and after that I'm going to bed. I'll try and get back to you all later, all right? Take care, byeness!

Athrun and Cagalli Try

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Evil step sister, the screaming and ugly baby, and mom

Alright, I managed to get on! Well, today was full of upsets and horridness. First I had Honors Algebra -_- It's so upsetting to have that everyday...ugh! That's already an upset right there. Then I had to run laps in PE, we're starting football tomorrow. They call it 'razzle dazzle' but it's basically girl's football >.< So annoying...That made me almost late for the bus (when I got on there were like, no seats.) When I got home it was the biggest upset of ALL! I was called by the person I was most happy about not seeing in high school (she's going to a different one) I was hoping I would NEVER see or hear from her again, and when I did it would be too soon. Turns out...it was too soon. I was expecting a call from my friend John, who I haven't talked to in ages, though it kinda feels like we're not friends anymore. Whenever I call he's never home so I'm guessing he's like, always busy with his other friends and stuff and doesn't have time for me anymore, but that's totally fine, I guess, but I would have liked it better had he told me something like...I don't know, showing that he never wanted to speak to me again >.< Anyways, I'm babbling, my bad.
Now,about two weeks ago my evil step sister moved back in. She's like-twenty something with two kids, one of which she dumped on us so he could live here. If that's not reason enough to hate her. She came back and brought with her ANOTHER baby. I'm SO tired of her. She doesn't even have a job and leaves her kids to be taken care of by the rest of us. I predict that she's just gonna leave that kid here and do what she did last time. It's so bogus, I hate children (my friend's mother agrues that I'm still a child so that's saying I hate myself, but that excludes kids my age, I mean like...0-10ish) I'm not gonna take care of a newborn, I can't stand the crying! I feel like slapping them, and run the risk of being sent to juvenile >.< It's unhealthy for me to be near that child.
What makes it worse is that my mom says she hates Keisha (step sister's name) but she's letting her live with us and she came upstairs looking for my old cable box that I had before I got TiVo just so Keisha could get more channels and then lied saying it was for her husband's brother who's been in the basement since forever. She treats that baby like it were here own, as well as Maurice (keisha's elder child who pratically lives here) I'm not even going to deny I'm jealous, but she doesn't have to lie to me about stuff like that. I mean, yeah I'd hate her for it, but I won't be as upset as I am now. It's so annoying.
Well, I've talked long enough. take care all! Byeness!

kyo tohru thunder

A band I'm just getting into (called Boys Like Girls) thanks to one of my bestest friends (this video is by her) I wish I could hear the song, but sadly, my audio is still out...)

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Friday, August 17, 2007

School has started and it's bringing the pain....

Hello all! Today is Friday, I started school on Wednesday. Sorry I haven't been on, it's been busy, plus the internet is down in my room, it's a pretty big disapointment but I guess it's a good thing considering that the year just started and I should start regulating my time responsibly so that I won't get sidetracked or something.
Anyways, I can safely say that I don't like high school, but I can't say that I hate it. I start off the day in my French 2 class with the awesomest people. They're hilarious. It's like watching television at school. The only freshmen in the class are all people I know (save for one transferee) and the sophomores and juniors are really lighthearted it seems. The teacher is so much different and seemingly a lot better than my middle school teacher. Plus, this one worked for the CIA (nothing drastic or anything, but it's still pretty cool) There's even this one game we played that was tell two truths and a lie and this one kid, one of the sophomores I think, guessed everyone's lie correctly (except for maybe one or two people) it was so funny and creepy at the same time.
Anyways after that I follow one of my friends to my next class (without him I'd be so lost) and then after that I go to the worst math class ever, Honors Algebra. It's not even interresting. The teacher is just basically...well, it's like he has no personality. Either way he's pretty old fashioned.
After that I have lunch and then homeroom, I stay in homeroom until my Honors World History class which is awesome since I don't have to move at all. When that's over I go to my most favorite class: Honors Integrated Physical Science. Mr. Allen is so awesome. He's not even that funny but he's really the teacher who seems to have the most personality (even though he has a strange name obsession). After that I have PE...horrible PE...People say I'm lucky I have it last period but as huge as the school is, we shouldn't even need PE! (It's a quarter of a mile from one end to the next and almost everyone has a schedule that has them going from the north end of the building to the south end for the whole day, one after another) The upstairs parts of the building are not connected so you have to go from upstairs north, to downstairs north, travel the hallways and take a different set of stairs to get to upstairs south, central, or east and vice versa for all the other hallways.
Oh, I got homework, too. I might have to take it with me tomorrow when I go visit my friend (who isn't in school yet) but I'm hoping not...
Well, I came home today and got pennied by my aunt. She thought it was so funny, I wasn't amused. I mean, it's one thing to get pennied by all the older kids (which I haven't since the day hasn't come yet) but it's another when one of your relatives tell you to stand right there and wait then throws pennies at you when you're not in the mood. I would have yelled profanities at her etc., etc., etc., but I had more manners than that and just walked away and let her pick her money back up. I wish she'd act like an adult sometimes, I mean really, that is not funny. It's Friday and being pennied is degrading, especially when your fourty something year old aunt does it.
Anyways, I hope you guys are having fun and aren't in school yet. Take care and be safe (same thing, I know) Talk to you later, I've got homework. Byeness.

Get A Job, Renge and Tamaki

Now, I'm using my mom's computer and it has no sound on it so I'm going to try my best for new vids, but it really doesn't matter if I put on up or not so occaisionally I won't even bother. Still, this song is awesome XD

Take care all!

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Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Conceited little Seven year old

Right, well it's been a while. I was in the hospital for a while to get some check ups and injections but now I'm back and my liver is fine and I've been taking my shots on a weekly basis like I should take normally.
I've been back for about two days now (I was in for three) and yesterday was my mom's best friends birthday and she came over to celebrate. She brought with her: Dasia, a conceited little Bratz obsessed seven year old. At first I could handle her. Even her lies about who she knew, was related to, he make believe boyfriend, and even her lying about her real name.
Last night I was telling her to go to sleep but she wouldn't listen and demanded that I let her on the computer. After I turned it off she got mad and started saying she was gonna walk home. I told her I didn't care and she got an attitude and kept talking. The kid even tried to threaten me. I dragged her downstairs to my God mother, my mom's best friend, and told her what she said. When Dasia agreed to be good and go to bed she let her back upstairs and I turned on a boring movie and she went to sleep.
When she woke up she said she was hungry and acted like nothing happened last night. I was pissed but I told her to wait until my mom got home with the cereal.She didn't want to listen. I let her eat some Doritos and Vienna Sausages and then started talking about how much hair she had and how much more better looking she was than me. I wasn't going to argue with a seven year old about how I looked and about how she looked, but she does have less hair than I do and quite frankly I couldn't care less how she thought I looked. The girl insisted that she record something with my video camera and I told her no. She decided she would 'fake' cry all over my covers. She slobbed on them. I was pissed since I had just recently changed them when I came home (washed them myself, too) I let that slide, too but then she told me to shut up in my own room? I flipped. Once more I grabbed her and dragged her into my brothers' room and told them to take care of her before I killed her. She made a few rude comments while I dragged her and stuff and I would have slapped her (like she deserved) if my brother hadn't held me back (yes, I'm not ashamed to beat up seven year olds if they deserve it) I left the room, grabbed her bag from my room and threw it out of the door. I admit my actions were a little unorthodox for someone my age but I was not going to sit down and bow to a conceited, unintelligible child's every whim. Especially not in my mom's house, in my own room. If she had the slightest bit of manners I'm sure things would be different. This only goes to show how much I hate children. If it were just me babysitting her and I had permission, I would spank her. Seeing as I'm not, and I don't, I won't but she needs it. She's probably one of the worst seven year olds I have ever met. Anyways, I hope you guys are having a better time then I am. Take care, byeness.

AMV - Final Fantasy VIII - Eyes On Me by Faye Wong

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Saturday, July 28, 2007

Shoot. - shot, tent, irked

Oh my goodness, I think I'm in real trouble. I've been so happy about not taking my shots this summer but I just remembered my doctor saying that it could give me liver problems. I do pray that I'm just hallucinating with this but recently I have felt pangs of pain from the left side of my stomach (though not quite my stomach, it's above it behind my rib cage I think) I'm not sure if it's my liver or what but I'm totally freaking out. Mood swings I can deal with but that much pain is just unnecessary. I do pray that nothing is wrong with me but I have a bad feeling about this (for once I think it would pay off to tell my mom about it, though either way we won't be able to give me my shot because my grandma is out of town for a while and so I can't go to the hospital) I feel so stupid now. I don't miss the shots at all but my body just gets weaker and weaker (ironically I have had no problems with my asthma aside from running up the stairs) I sound so unhealthy >.<
My friend just went home (she spent the night) and another is coming over later on to stay over as well. I can tolerate it but I don't think it was/will be very fun for them. At least I can eat again, though (it's still fickle but I can eat now even if I don't want to)
Anyways, we stayed up all night watching Ouran High School Host Club so that was entertaining. I had asked my mom to burn two CDs for us but she didn't and so we have to wait until next time. My little brother, who promised me he'd bring it back, left my radio in the basement. I had to go downstairs and get it and to tell the truth I'm not in a very good mood. It's morning but I'm crabbier than I usually am.
Anyways, we also spent part of our night putting up a tent in the backyard so the moron boys could sleep in it. I had to beg my mom to let them sleep in there without supervision and she'd said as long as I checked up on them. I didn't have to check them. The dumbasses started screaming and like they had no brains. It was obnoxious and I could hear it through my window. I was thoroughly disappointed in them and though it would have been at least a little exciting if they were sleeping in the tent, you know?
Anyways, that's to whole jist. You guys take care, alright? Byeness.

Bleach- Beauty from Pain

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Friday, July 27, 2007

My Elder Brother, the country club, and my most hated cousin

I was just thinking about my brother's personality and it just dawned on me how mean he used to be. We've been close since we were kids but I had never realized until now how much of a bully he and I were. He's the one who started me to crack my knuckles after I constantly protested. He just cracked them and it hurt so much I was gonna cry (I was around four and he was seven-ish)Ever since I've been cracking them.
I hadn't believed my mom when she said we used to team up and beat up my little brother but I can remember it now that I remember what a jerk my older bro used to be. According to her my elder brother held him down and I punched him. No wonder why I think my younger brother has brain damage now.... I think I might do something for him when he wakes up later but then again, maybe he would have turned out this way naturally (he's so much like my dad and his twin when they were younger that he was named after my dad's twin) According to my mom, I'm like my father (she won't admit it but she hates me for it) We used to get coal on Christmas because of that...
On a different topic I went with my friends to a country club the other day. It was really nice.We didn't do much though so it was boring but they had a bunch of fountain ponds, a pool, and even a lake. There was also a huge golf course (but that's a given) I'd never been to one until then but it was really awesome. We walked around looking for the lake but in the end we couldn't find it. When I called home to say I wouldn't get home til late no one bothered to pick up the phone and my mom had the nerve to be mad at me when I got home. Her anger went away when I said that my friend's dad took us to a country club though, it would figure -_-
Anyways, yesterday my mom had a party with her husbands relatives and my cousin came to the room to talk to me but when she opened the door and scared the shit out of me I politely (with absolutely NO ILL WILL towards her) asked her if she needed something. She'd just come to see what I was doing because she was tired of running around the house with my little brother. When she left my mom came in acting like I committed a crime and asked me why I was being mean. I didn't think I was being mean at all. I was being pretty nice considering I let them use my radio even after she swore at my friends through AIM while I wasn't home (she logged on as me and totally cussed them out!) I had to do a hefty amount of apologizing to them after that, it was awful. My mom was all "She just wanted to talk to you and have fun!" Now, my cousin is particularly girly and I'm a tomboyish nerd who was watching Comic Con when she came in, do you think we have the same definition of fun? I highly doubt it.
When we were younger I tolerated her because I never cared what she did so long as it didn't affect me but now I want nothing to do with her. She dresses like a slut and acts like a whore.
I was forced to go downstairs but they were outside so I just made pink lemonade and went back upstairs and watched Ouran High School Host Club and talked to my friend who was going balistic over Death Note.
Most of the people I know are under the impression I hate going outside and doing things with other people, but that's not the case, it's just specific people I don't like doing things with and there are a lot of things that I like to do but they're are limitted significantly. For example: I like riding my bike but with my sense of direction I'd get lost in a split second (which means I'd have to take someone with me and the only person who'll go with me is my little brother and it's tolerable but he's hard headed more often then not)
In the end my mom made me shut down my computer and go to bed. Right now I'm listening to the radio. I snuck on the computer. I tried reading Harry Potter but it made me upset but not because someone died but because it was so...not exciting when it should have been and I was able to put it down during the middle of a fight scene. You shouldn't be able to do that with a good book. Shame on JK Rowling...I'm rather disappointed but it's still better than her other books (except 3)
Anyways, I should get to commeting later on. Take care all! Byeness ^-^ (sorry for the long post)

Potter Puppet Pals in "The Mysterious Ticking Noise"

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Again with the Harry Potter

I'm going to see Harry Potter again today but this time with my family. My elder brother looks forward to it but I told him not to get his hopes up too high. I didn't think it was good and he's even harder on movies than I am.
My brother and I have decided to beat every video game we own before he goes off to College soon and so I've been drowning myself in hours of gameplay everyday. I do get out and excersize, though, sitting around all day is even worse for my health now than it was a few years ago (not that I'm old, just sickly) Since I stopped taking my shots I'm more prone to having some type of numbness in my body so I excersize to prevent that. Darn excersize...everything always comes down to it and in the end it's just horrible T-T
I've bought my friend two books for a get well soon present since her surgery on her back is over and they accidentally sent me a special edition. I have the same two book so naturally I was a little jealous about giving her the special edition but in the end she's getting the book and everything that came with it... I think I might've ordered the special edition of accident though, it was last minute since my mom was being all weird on me. Maybe she thought I was going to want something for myself off amazon? She did tell me that I'm not allowed to order anything else all summer (and shockingly I've stuck to it) I can just go buy things instead, though...doesn't make me much of a difference. All I ask is that she doesn't steal my books/manga. Since I have a Wii now my literature is safe from harms way (we don't have many games I haven't already beaten on my wii so I don't care if it's taken now. I already told her she could play it and the only thing we use it for now is Game Cube games like Tales of Symphonia) Since we have two gamecubes I pretty much don't care what she does.
Another thing, though, is that almost all my friends say they're nervous about high school. I couldn't care less where I go since it's still school. It's basically the same place just tons bigger and with a lot more people. I don't like being around so many people but I know I'll get used to it so what's the use in getting nervous? I'll make new best friends (keeping my old ones of course, we're too close to just drift away like that) I'll make new aquantinces (sp?) (gotta be this before you're my friend) and I'm going to get to know different people. What's so scary about high school?
I think they're getting worked up over nothing and since they're making a big deal about it, it's only going to make it that much worse.
Well that's basically it for me. I hope you all are doing well and that you're taking care of yourselves. Talk to you all soon, okies? Byeness ^-^


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Saturday, July 14, 2007

R.I.P. Sam - one of the awesomest dogs ever

Well once again I've been bought to life. The other day was my best friend's b-day and we went to her house and spent it with some friends and her family. It was awesomely fun but there were times I felt utterly horrid. The day after that we went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I disliked the movie but not as much as I hated numbers 3 and 4. People say I only hated it because I read the book but there has to be people out there who love the book and the movies, too. Anyways, I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before so I was nodding off into slumber at random parts in the movie. It was a wonderful sleep but I wanted to see the movie so I had to force myself to wake up everytime. After the movie when we got in the car we dropped one of our friends off and then I went to sleep. I was shocked that my best friend's cousin let me sleep. I never let him sleep when I'm over (unless it's night time) and I'm always amused by that (my sadistic form of entertainment) I slept wonderfully in the car but when we got back to her house, I don't remember doing it but I went to sleep immediately. I was literally knocked out. No one bothered me either. When I woke up I ate some Cookie Crisp and then went right back to sleep (though my friend told me what happened when I went to sleep, I don't exactly remember hearing anything but that her cousin went home, but I'd known that already) Apparently it wasn't even thirty minutes that I was up. After I went back to bed I woke up sometime in the afternoon. My friend estimated me going to bed at six and then waking at around 1 or two-ish the next day. I would have slept more but I forced myself out of bed since you don't sleep at your friend's house like that, it's rude (at least to me anyways, I'd just feel bad) Shortly after I woke up another friend left and then it was just us two left. We sort of sat around. Eventually we went out and drove the golf cart (my frist driving experience and no crash!), I was told by a 7 year old that I needed driving lessons...Then we sat around some more and the worst thing happened. I'm not one to love animals much or anything but Sam, the dog, died. It was horrible. It may not have been my dog but I'm going to miss him jumping up on me and me freaking out and his smelly dog breath...he was so playful. Stupid speeding teenagers...Friday the 13 truly was a bad day. Hours later though everyone put on a chipper face and they drove me home but first we got McDonalds and she bought me an FMA Wallscroll that I have no room for (I'm just going to stick it on my wall somewhere) I thought that was horrible. I went to her house for her b-day and she wound up buying me something after her doggie died. Makes me sound so horrible. It would have been different if I had kept my money in my pockets (it was in my bag and my bag was in the car...) Anyways, overall yesterday and the day before were bittersweet to say the least. Additionally I'm going to try not eating anything for at least a day, my appetite has been very fickle with me as of late and so I'm just not going to eat anything (I'm sick of getting food out and then not wanting it-it's a waste of time and money)
Anyways, take care all of you, ttyl. Byeness

Yu Yu Hakusho It's My Life

I just felt like a Yuyu Hakusho video. Normally I wouldn't do this to good anime but this one was decent so I guessed it would suffice...(don't mean to sound rude, though, I just grew up with YYH when I was lil and it's like...awkward seeing it in an AMV (I know, I'm weird))

Anyways, everyone take care. Have a nice day!

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