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Friday, April 27, 2007

I wish I had a job to complain about.

If I had a job to complain about, I might be able to do that on a laptop instead of a desktop. I'm presently investigating laptops. If I went the Apple route, it'd cost well over $2000 to get the little Black MacBook and the accessories I want (Wireless Mouse, spare battery, etc.). If I go the Windows PC route, I'm probably going to go with the best-for-the-money-in-my-budget type computer. I WANT a Dell XPS laptop, but I don't think I'll be able to afford one of those ever. I've tried building several Dell laptops, each over $1000 because I want the long-life battery, at least 2GB of RAM (Because of Vista), and a graphics chipset capable of Aero (Because if I have it on there, I should be able to use it). I don't think that the ones I'm looking at pre-built at best buy are Aero capable laptops. The one I'm looking at is one by Acer. I'd rather have a name like HP or Gateway, but I can't afford their machines. Click Here to view the item description of the laptop I'm looking into.

I'd rather have XP Pro myself. I'm not to happy about Vista, even if it is supposed to look cool, it takes so many resources to pull it off and all the compatibility problems Vista seems to have... Ieuu. That's why if I do anything with Vista, it will be pretty much using all factory hardware. They know what they're doing.

Well now. I don't know what else to post except that it's FINALLY FRIDAY!!!!! This week seemed to drag on and on...

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Thursday, April 26, 2007

I'm in one of those moods again. That should hint as to how I feel.

According to WebMD, I could be manic depressive. AKA Bipolar II disorder, but if I am, I'm not going to do anything about it. I don't want my terrible dream to come true.

Yes, I had a dream again, finally. It's been a long time. But the general idea of the dream is I was labeled crazy and was prescribed drugs that kill me even though they are the same stuff they prescribe to real crazy people. After I died in my dream, I woke up. Dying in dreams is really weird, especially when your dreams can trigger pain like mine can...

Well, It's rather late, so I'm off to bed. *yawn*

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Saturday, April 21, 2007


I got my computer to stop BSOD-ing while playing games! It turns out that my motherboard chipset and the graphics card chipset were disagreeing and I needed a specific driver from ATI. But now, I can play Half-Life2 and I actually finished it again tonight. I now can make a list of the games I want to buy right now:
• Half-life2 Episode 1 (Valve)
• Infernal (Eidos)

I got the free demo of Infernal on Steam and it looks to be quite interesting. I haven't finished the demo yet, but so far I like it. Maybe I can convince my dad to let me pre-order it and buy it over the internet instead of having to get a physical medium when half of the game is downloaded from the internet anyways. (At least I know Valve games do this...)

:) I feel weird. Somewhat happy, but somewhat bored and depressed. Quite unusual.

I wrote a poem today, but it's different from most of my others. This one is a sad attempt at a fixed meter, fixed structure poem. I'm not exactly finished writing it, but I haven't written on it since 5th hour in school....

Well, now it's 03:00 or so. I think I'm going to bed now.

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Thursday, April 19, 2007

   Oh no!

I'm planning another proving of my lacking art 5|<|112 (skills) yet again. But this time I'm going to try to insult the art I like best. Of course, by this I mean I'm going to make my best attempt at it, and the fact that I am trying it and will eventually submit something is an insult to the genre.

I just desperately want to do so many things that I don't know if I'll ever be able to do any of them. Web design, programming, electronics, piano, drawing, school... It gets to be too much. I just don't think I can try to learn to draw, program, design, AND play piano. I may have to pick two or three, and I would definitely be the piano going away. I want desperately to be able to draw, but I just lack the ability. I need help in that area. As soon as I can draw, I'll be happy with myself enough that I would use the talent I have.

I'm going to go start my next failure at art. If it's really bad, I'll make it into a silhouette type art instead of regular....

*blinks* Whoa! Maybe tomorrow night. I'm really tired for some odd reason...

EDIT: For some reason, my flash drive is appearing to not be formatted at all to my upstairs computer. It says the file system type is "RAW" and yet it will let me put files on it. It doesn't appear in "my computer" at all, and the only way to get to it is type the drive letter into the address bar. Any ideas why, anybody?

EDIT: Why do I try to make myself draw when I know beyond a reasonable doubt that I will fail?

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Monday, April 16, 2007

A very uneventful day...

My brother and his wife came over this evening and I had to chase my niece around the house two thirds of the time. She's getting so big I might have to stop talking to myself about my secretness while she's around. I don't want her to innocently repeat them and create an awkward situation for my brother.

That reminds me. Early Sunday (i.e. 2AM) I submitted something to dA. This something was a true something, probably the first true and accurate piece of work I submitted there. I'm reminded because of the title and the contents of this work. It's short, but it's completely true.

This brings me to the next thing: My parents and the possibility of them tracking my internet presence. In case they are: TELL ME IF YOU ARE! I don't want to think I have trust with someone if there is nothing there. They keep saying that if my brother hadn't had the amount of trust and privacy he did, he wouldn't have done bad things. Maybe that's true, but do they really need to invade my privacy because my brother was bad? I don't think so. I have legitimate reasons to hide the things I do, usually involving fear of rejection or being distanced from them, which I always have been slightly be default just because I'm a very introverted person. So, parents, if you read this, TELL ME. I'm not going to change who I am if you are watching me.

Sorry about that everyone who isn't "parents." (more than likely everyone.) I just had to clear that up.

I'm thinking about linking to my dA account from here for the heck of it, but I need to think it out a bit, because my work there is pretty personal and I don't know if I want my sibling to see it... Maybe I should remove myself from her list and guestbook so I "disappear" and then I don't have to worry about it. >:) I know, I'm evil.

I make an interesting comment on my own work on my dA journal, so if can get there and care to read it, it's pretty.... well.... interesting. :)

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Sunday, April 15, 2007

For once, I will compose a post and submit it! The past few times I tried to post, I got so distracted that I ended up not posting it because the thoughts in the post were so fragmented that it wouldn't have made any sense to anyone anyways, so I ended up closing the browser.

I want money to buy that $7500 Dell XPS 710 h2c system I want. Then I want another $2000 to get my iMac HD. :)

My computer isn't smart enough to let me run into a squad member and still make enemies move in Half-life2. I was playing it, and I was going to walk into a hallway when a squad member walks into the doorway and down the hall an enemy appears. The computer locked up and sent the video card into a infinite loop, according to the BSOD I got. Stupid Windows...

Well, it's 3:17 where I'm at, so I think I need to go to bed.


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Sunday, April 8, 2007

I got bored again. I made a powerpoint presentation that looks like an IBM computer booting into Windows XP and then failing with an "INACCESSIBLE_BOOT_DEVICE" STOP error. It then proceeds to start up over again, looping until the escape key is pressed. It even mentions it in the edited error message I typed myself.

And I had googled Blue Screen of Death messages for my presentation thingy, and I found this ironic situation: Click Here to see it. Tell me that isn't ironic!

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Monday, April 2, 2007

Today was very uneventful. I played Half-life2 some today, and I'm about halfway through now. I still haven't needed to cheat. :)

I think I forgot to wash the shampoo out of my hair when I took my shower this evening. My hair is very stiff and gross feeling. I hate that I'll have to deal with it like this all day long.

I have to give a speech tomorrow in English. My topic is DRM. I'm nowhere near prepared. I'm just going to wing it unless I can get myself prepared in less than a day.

Well, that pretty much sums up the excitement of today. I'll add an edit if I find something else interesting, but I doubt it, since it's already almost midnight here.


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Thursday, March 29, 2007

I know

I'm probably going to get some not-so-satisfactory responses to this, but I posted this June 9, 2006 on my Quizilla! journal/blog in a rant. It still holds true.
"I jyust can't do anything and everytime I think that there's some little shred of hope left and I get closer to something, someone or something has to pull me back down to earth and take my hopes and dreams out into a near-by forest and shoot them 500 times in the head with an AK-47 at point blank range. Sometimes I wish that someone would to that to me rather than to my hopes and dreams, because I wouldn't be missed anyways."

I already know there are unsatisfactory remarks in the works of you all's heads, but I don't care what you've got to throw at me. I feel crappy and I don't know why, so we all have to get over it.

I might get a little more in depth on my MSN Space Windows Live Space blog, if you care to read it.

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I need.... money!

To be exact, I need about $10,000 so I can buy this one PC I want.

It's a Dell XPS 710 H2C. I not only love the case, I love the specs on my $10,000 box. With a 3.46GHz Dual-core overclocked with an advanced cooling system, XP Pro, 4GB RAM, 1TB HDD via RAID 0 (Either I'd have 500B RAID 1 or that, chose 1TB.), DVD-burner, 20-inch UltraSharp display, Dual nVidia GeForce 8800 GTX SLI'd together, the infamous AGEIA PhysX accelerator chip, Creative X-fi sound card, and a friggin awesome looking case. And the case lights up! :)

I know. I'm a freak for wanting a PC almost twice as fast as the one I write this on. But I want it more than I want my 24" iMac HD! And we all know how bad I want that!!!!!! :)

I get to do things tomorrow.

We went on my paper route tonight, but it started to drizzle as we were at the bottom of the street. As we made out way along, it started raining really hard. We didn't even finish and I was soaked, but only on the front side. Dad called me crazy for running in the rain, but hey, I made it home a lot faster than him! I sprinted about a block and a half to my house. It was quite fun, because I depended mostly on blind guessing as to where I was, since I couldn't really see with the water all over my glasses. Then as we got home, it stopped... We just stuck around home. So now I have to do about a third of the route tomorrow.

We have half a winner in regards to the post beginning with a story-esque thingy. Kitsune said she thought it could be both, but it was 100% truth. I actually did that stuff on Friday!

I have Alizιe's "J'en Ai Marrι!" stuck in my head now, thanks to Adam. I'm presently trying to force it out by singing Evanescence music.

Which reminds me... I got their newest CD this past weekend. I love it! It's far different from the first album, but I still like it. :)

Well, I'm going to go try to ubuntu-ize my upstairs computer soon. I don't have much to talk about else, so I'll just shut up.

EDIT: In case no one read the post I wrote on Friday, I told my ex-girlfriend my secret. It appears this one is growing up and getting over some of the cowardice he is known for.

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