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Saturday, March 8, 2008

blue catOk, its been like what, a week since I have been up on the site, maybe 2, but is it just my account or others that wont let me pm anyone??? PLEASE answer back by posting, because if mine is the only one, then I dont know if I'll be able to talk to you guys anymore and that will make me REALLY sad.......


The confused fluffball of the moment,

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Thursday, March 6, 2008

blue catWell, I'm sitting in computer class at my school right now and I'm not sure if I'm allowed to be on here because its been locked for like, forever and a half now, so yeah, its pretty crazy. My friend was on her myspace afew secs ago. Crap my computer teachers up and coming, ttfn. bye
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Sunday, March 2, 2008

Answer your questions about my last post
blue catHi everyone, how are you all?

To answer all of your questions, yes I did write it. I love to write poetry...its like, my hobby next to drawing....

I write because I guess everything in my life has been very over whelming lately, and you know how people say writing it down helps, well it helps me a lot. And to tell you the truth, I use to cut myself, like a lot....and then I got back on the right track, so now instead of cutting myself, I write. Do any of you understand what I mean? Now that I'm writing this it sounds really weird and kind of cheesy, but yeah. I'm glad you guys liked it though.

Please donít hate me because I use to cut myself. I guess, by doing it, I felt more alive in a since, I didnít want to die, I just need to relieve some of the pain locked in inside, and I didnít want to take it out on anyone else, so I use to take it out on myself. Thatís the reason.....

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Sunday, February 24, 2008

Why do I feel this way?
blue catWhat love do I have?
What type of escape?
The lies that I say
The risks that I take

My future in unknown
The paths that ahead lie
The walls that decay
The tears that I cry

The pain I feel inside
The friends I have lost
My bleeded out heart
Much too high is the cost

My blood keeps flowing
Though it appears I am dead
This hatred thatís growing
The disease that has spread

I lock myself away
As they pound at my doors
Silently weep
Slashes come in fours

I lie in the dark
Lay against my bed bars
Watch myself bleed
Count my scars

I do it to prove
To my self and all the others
That I am still alive
Cry under the covers

The face I hide
The masks Iíve made
Never to show my true self
I'm too far in to save

The knife that penetrates my skin
To butcher my body and heart
This pain that canít be denied
Where am I to start?

What love do I have?
What type of escape?
The lies that I say
The risks that I take

Death is upon me
The secrets that I hide
The secrets to my soul
Just look at the cuts down my side

What do I say?
To my mother who already knows
To my friends who have noticed
The blood bubbles that arose

This pain inside
To great to hold back
Shown in my body of wounds
Shown in every blood covered crack

If I could run away Iíd do it
If I could fight back and scream
If I could go into the dark
Fall into a permanent dream

What love do I have?
What type of escape?
The lies that I say
This life that I live is only a fake

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Saturday, February 23, 2008

   Late, but I got my Valentines day gift from my bf
blue catSo, I finally got my V-day gift from my bf!! It was pear earings and I wear them all the time now. I love him so much! He liked what I gave him too! I drew him this picture that had a poem on it. He liked it alot! I'm really happy that he did, I worked hard on it!! It was worth it to see him smile in the end of it though!!

My aunt almost went to jail because she freaked out on my grandmother and broke a cane over her back. It was really scary, I cried alot the last few nights. My grandmother doesnt want her to got to jail though, so she wont call the police or tell anyone but my mom, my brother and I. I dont know what to do. Any advice from anyone?

I have alot of homework lately so I'm not sure when the next time I'll be on. We are reading the Odessey in school, you know that graphic novel thats like 600 pages of complete random stuff that doesnt make sence, well I have to finish it and I also need to right this report on my moms bf for school cause we had to interveiw someone interesting, so yeah, now I have to write that up.

I hope your day was doing well. TTFN!

P.S I got my first B on my biology test last Friday!! I WAS SO PROUD!!! IT WAS MY FIRST ONE THIS YEAR!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!

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Sunday, February 17, 2008

   HEHEHEEHEH!! I had to put this!! It was just so perfect!! XDD (no pun intended)
blue catKawaii Cats
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Saturday, February 16, 2008

blue cat-..._...|..____________________, ,
....../ `---___________----_____|]
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
BOOM!! *this is the sexy gun* hahahahahahahahah!!!!

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   New Site look
blue catOk, I'm doing much better then afew days ago. I get to see my bf in like, 2 days, then we get to exchange valentines day gifts. My mom is acually letting him come over!! I'm so happy! Yeah, and the part in the play, I found out I sing duets and solos! So, I'm much better, I just was being a baby afew days ago. Yeah, so I'm at my dads house again, so that means I get to change my site!! So what do you think? I like it alot!! The milk is so cute, and afew of you will get my vulpix joke. yeah, so thats all I got to say right now. I love ya guys!

Nightmare-Neko, thanx for what you said! I love ya babe! I'm gald your day was better then mine!! Call me sometime ok?


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Thursday, February 14, 2008

   Happy crap Valentines Day (PG-13 cause of language)
blue catMy day was not the best valentines day. When is it good though?? I started off well, and my bf was a real sweetheart! I love him! Then first period came along and I found out I didnt get the part I wanted in the play. I got someone else I didnt even know about. Yeah, so I dont know who I am, what I say, or what I do. Then from there, my friend Carlee goes home crying cause she didnt get the part she wantsed, so I was alone in my last two classes of the day. My biology test SUCKED! I didnt get it because I'm an idiot and dont study or do anything else with my life. Then I came into language late and missed all the fun stuff. Then I have to walk home in the cold because my bus drivers retarded and I would get home faster if I just got off at the first stop and walk. When my mom comes home she brings up the valentines I made for my bf and another friend of mine, and now she thinks I'm some sort of hore. Well, she always thought that, but now she thinks that more then usual, and I'm NOT!!!
so I may not be able to see my bf on monday, cause she doesnt know hes my bf just that hes a friend, till she found the valentine and now shes freaking out, and if he cant come over I'm going to be more pissed off then I am now. I need a lock for my room!!! She always goes through my stuff without asking. I cant leave anything out, and even the stuff locked up in my closest, she goes through all that too. I think the only thing she doesnt know about is this site, and if she ever DOES find this site, I'm gonna have to leave it because she would be checking what I write everyday. I HATE HER!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! I dont go through her stuff unless I ask, what gives her the right to go through mine?? Gosh Dammit!!!! I HATE THIS!!! I NEED I FUCKING LOCK!!!

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Monday, February 11, 2008

   I'm sick!
blue catI'm sick and my nose is all stuffed up!! AHHHHHHHH!!! I'm missing school, which isent that bad, but the play try outs were today and tomorrow so I have to get like, better in the course of 24 hours so I am well enough to sing! I'm gonna be sad if I cant do it. I know there is always next year, but its so far away.

So how have you all been? Myotaku has been acting crazy lately....its crazy.....

I hope you guys are all feeling better, and yeah... gtg, Luv much! Bye!

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