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Saturday, June 25, 2005


...

here is the "brighter" poem that i promised... although it was written on 2/18/05... so it is quite old...
-----------------------------------
"Rays"
The sun's rays, a symbol of life
They cut through darkness like a knife
Through the shadows of the tree
Is a soul that yearns to be free
The sun shines to it, and it speaks,
It tells it to go after what it seeks
It says to him you must be one with the sky,
Do as the birds do, spread your wings and fly
Let yourself rise
Drain the pain from your eyes
Be one with yourself, do not fall
Do all you can, do it all.
-----------------------------------
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (14) | Permalink



Friday, June 24, 2005


only a poem... enjoy...

"Untitled"
By the time this is read…
All will be ended…
The sword pulled from the stone…
Questions answered…
Happiness felt…
Pain showered…
The sea formed…
Angels reunited…
Demons created…
Trees falling…
A smile formed…
For all is ended…
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (14) | Permalink



Thursday, June 23, 2005


...

not much today... just a poem...
-----------------------------------
"Thoughts on Paper"
None that truly understand how I feel...
I am forever alone...
Hated by the very blood that coarses within me...
A shell of my former self...
With none beside...
Yet all within...
Little to hold onto..
Pain is all that is left...
Hate is the only hope...
The thundering silence roars...
My thoughts have withered...
The time is now...
The time of virtue...
For this one to leave this land of purgitory...
The eve of Hollow has arrived...
Prayer is the only escape...
To the world known as "heaven"...
Within the embrace of darkness...
Where the only fear is fear itself...
I can finally see...
-----------------------------------
goodbye... enjoy...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (16) | Permalink



Wednesday, June 22, 2005


...

... i had my doctors appointment today... i have to see a sports physician on the 7th... and i dont get to go to minnesota because of it... i ended up getting fined for taking a walk around 4am yesterday... i have to come up with $100 to pay it off... heres a poem...
-----------------------------------
"Untitled"
I'm holding...
Holding onto nothingness...
All because of a promise...
A simple promise...
I know not why I keep it;
Why I don't just stab myself and die...
Leave...
Crawl to the place from which I have risen...
The pits of flame...
The smell of seared flesh...
A smell so great...
If I choose to break...
You will follow...
Lose the success you will achieve...
If I choose to cease to breathe...
To be happy...
-----------------------------------
enjoy...

....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (14) | Permalink



Tuesday, June 21, 2005


This line is useless...

not much today... just a poem...
-----------------------------------
"My Final Farewell"

The sea rises...
Tsunamis of pain berate...
Knives rain with hopes to kill...
This is my final farewell...

The blood drips...
My soul fades...
My memories decend...
This is my final farewell...

I bid thee ado...
Goodbye...
Is has been fun...
This is my final farewell...
-----------------------------------
P.S... no... i am not contemplating suicide... or leaving... and am sorry if that poem sucked... i didnt mess with it at all... i just wrote it now...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (15) | Permalink



Monday, June 20, 2005


...

hello... not a very long post... i am not in the mood for it... my day yesterday was... interesting...
here is a poem...
-----------------------------------
"Untitled"
My heart... it has been squeezed full of pain...
So great that it is hard to stay sane...
I stand alone is the people's rain...
With no shoulder to lean for comfort...
Lost hope of life... I continue to stare at this knife...
Which rests in my heart...
From the time of the past...
With the memories of the last...

I hope greatly to be dead...
To be shot in the head...
To end my life...
With a single knife...
The cuts on my shoulder...
Bleed tainted blood of black...
The thoughts of this world...
Being covered by a sheet of darkness...
A sheet of death...
Emotions locked inside my very being...
Rip my heart from it's place of rest...
This is what I believe is best...
-----------------------------------
goodbye...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (9) | Permalink



Sunday, June 19, 2005


...

hello... how is everyone doing... i am okay... feeling a little better after getting a good laugh in... i wont say names or point fingers... but thanks... i needed that alot... heres an Angel original... enjoy it...
-----------------------------------
"Life"

The man comes to take us
To his world of eternal damnation
We will be in his embrace darkness
Sitting on his wing of death
In the heat of the seventh level

For a lasting fifteen years
I have lived under the watch of it
Noses are broken hearts are shattered
Voices run through my head as I lie awake staring at the blade
Thinking of how it could change the course of my history

Voices speak to me through my dreams
They beat at me as if they had spikes and hammers
Rose red blood drips from petal soft skin
It is a destiny that drips away
The rain of the people poars

Hopes are shattered by rule of an iron fist
Dreams dance in a pool of red
Thoughts linger in a pit of black
Emotions are locked in a void of gray
This way is best

Zur wille dur machet...
Viva... mala... rojo... negro...
Staring for countless, sleepless hours
Wanting to rest in a cool, cramped, dirty space
With the sight of boards every place

I am through with these beliefs
The beliefs of a world of happiness...
A world where everyone says they understand
This world of light and hope...
I'm through with this shit...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (12) | Permalink



Saturday, June 18, 2005


...

Hello everybody… how are you doing… guess how im feeling… if you said depressed or dead… or anything along those lines… your right… now you want a prize… you have the knowledge that you guessed my emotion right… isn’t that prize enough… I didn’t do much today except go to the shrink… which is never fun…

“Monster” By Static-X

Breathing, killing, seething, willing
Fighting, biting, hating, waiting for you
Don't you, won't you, don't lie

Give it, get it, live it, let it
Dedicated, nothing sacred for you
Don't you, won't you, I die

Wreak havoc, I'm crippled
Your polluted soul, is so corrupted

In your eyes, see all the lies
The alibis, That I despise

In your eyes, see all the lies
The alibis, That I despise
In your eyes, all the lies
Alibis, I despise
See the lies, spirit dies
Your disguise, Monster size

Breathing, killing, seething, willing
Fighting, biting, hating, waiting for you
I don't know why I try

Give it, get it, live it, let it
Dedicated, nothing sacred for you
I can't see you I'm blind

Wreak havoc, I'm crippled
Your polluted soul, is so corrupted

In your eyes, see all the lies
The alibis, That I despise

In your eyes, see all the lies
The alibis, That I despise
In your eyes, all the lies
Alibis, I despise
See the lies, spirit dies
Your disguise, Monster size

Wreak havoc, I'm crippled
Erasing, Refacing
So worthless, no mercy
Your polluted soul, is so corrupted


....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (13) | Permalink



Friday, June 17, 2005


hello...

hello... how does everyone feel... i am ,as most would say, "regular"... i am all but thrilled with my summer break... many know not when to quit bothering me... or how to take "no" for an answer... it is beginning to become quite annoying... here is a poem...
-----------------------------------
"What"
What is this that I feel...
What is this that has stricken me...
Brought me to thoughts of meloncholy...
Thoughts of leaving...
What does one do to deserve this fate...
Why does one seek this path...
For repentance...
Rebirth...
Happiness...
I know not for why this is chosen...
For this hopeless soul...
Faithless soul-
Worthless...
Maybe it is fate...
Destined for death...
At an age of 32...
Unless this one may find that which is imposible...
It has been fortold by the spirits...
As they arched through me...
Tore me apart...
Devoured my emotion...
Feasted upon my soul...

-Angel
5/23/05
-----------------------------------
random pic...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (12) | Permalink



Thursday, June 16, 2005


...

hello everyone... yesterday was yet another uneventful day in my life... i took a survey at the request of a friend... enjoy it... although it offers little information about me... i prefer not to confine within another what i can keep within...
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:You may call me Angel...
Birthday:8/26/89
Birthplace:a hospital...
Current Location:within my mind...
Eye Color:usually blue with a greyish ring arounf the pupil... but the ring changes colors with my mood...
Hair Color:dark brown
Height:6'2"
Right Handed or Left Handed:right
Your Heritage:make a guess... i will always answer no...
The Shoes You Wore Today:black combat boots
Your Weakness:somethings are better kept within
Your Fears:ask me personally... i may say... but i highly doubt it...
Your Perfect Pizza:take a wild guess...
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:to remain on this god-forsaken planet...
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:heh...
Thoughts First Waking Up:wow... i have lived yet another pointless day...
Your Best Physical Feature:i dont know... i hate all my physical features... most would say my eyes...
Your Bedtime:i have none
Your Most Missed Memory:that of which i loved
Pepsi or Coke:RC
MacDonalds or Burger King:mcdonalds
Single or Group Dates:single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla:what do you think
Cappuccino or Coffee:either
Do you Smoke:no
Do you Swear:yes
Do you Sing:yes
Do you Shower Daily:yes
Have you Been in Love:yes
Do you want to go to College:no
Do you want to get Married:do you want to get married...
Do you belive in yourself:does anyone...
Do you get Motion Sickness:no
Do you think you are Attractive:no
Are you a Health Freak:no
Do you get along with your Parents:no
Do you like Thunderstorms:yes
Do you play an Instrument:drums... somewhat...
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:yes
In the past month have you Smoked:no
In the past month have you been on Drugs:pain relievers... muscle relaxers... antidepressants... yes... anything else... no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:yes... only to shut some friends up...
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:yes
In the past month have you been on Stage:no
In the past month have you been Dumped:no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:no
Ever been Drunk:yes
Ever been called a Tease:yes... but i see not what she was thinking
Ever been Beaten up:no
Ever Shoplifted:no
How do you want to Die:what is your thought on this...
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:auto tech...
What country would you most like to Visit:japan
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:Hazel or brown
Favourite Hair Color:black
Short or Long Hair:long
Height:4'0" to 5'5"
Weight:dependent upon height
Best Clothing Style:dark
Number of Drugs I have taken:what type...
Number of CDs I own:many...
Number of Piercings:does not matter...
Number of Tattoos:does not matter...
Number of things in my Past I Regret:too many to recall...

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (11) | Permalink

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