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Monday, July 11, 2005


...poem...

"Rend"
If only I could bring myself to do it...
Render myself dead...
But the thoughts of those who care being hurt...
They bind me to this world...
Keep me from leaving...
Yet I lay here...
Alone and dying...
But your smilies bring new light...
A little hope...
That maybe, someday...
I can do the same...
Even though it is most likely not possible...
I have done so much, and given so little...
Such an inconvienence...
Oh well...
It will end soon enough...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (14) | Permalink



Friday, July 8, 2005


...

"Untitled"
I sit here...
Wondering...
Why I don't drag it deeper...
And deeper...
Watch my life fall before my eyes...
So I can feel the pain I have caused to others...
The pain that they feel...
That they see...
All because of me...
What I've done...
What I feel...
It's all my fault...
And nobody elses....
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (23) | Permalink



Thursday, July 7, 2005


Would you care if I moped and cried?
Would you care if I suddenly died?
Would you care if I slit my wrist, and said it hurt?
Would you care if it started to squirt?
Would you care if I stabbed myself with a knife?
Would you care if I took my life?
Would you care if I took pills whole?
Would you care if I shot myself in the skull?

If only you would...
You know you should...
But, yet, you don't...
And, yet, you won't...
It dosen't matter to me...
This is how they all see...
I could care less what you think...
My skin... it is raw and pink...
I hope your happy, I'm going to leave...
Soon I will pull this knife from it's sleeve...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (17) | Permalink



Wednesday, July 6, 2005


   Soon will be my last...

"No Hope"
There is no hope for new life...
No hope for time without the knife...
The blood will always spray...
The pain will always stay...
My wishes will stay unfulfilled...

No hope since birth...
No hope to achieve worth...
There is no point to stay strong...
My life has gone all wrong...
Don't worry, it will soon be ended...

No hope to end the pain...
No hope to stop the rain...
I will shoot myself in the head...
So soon, I will be dead...
I thank you all for caring...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (17) | Permalink



Tuesday, July 5, 2005


I lie here...
Alone...
With none beside...
None that care...
Weather I live or die...
If I ascend to the sky...
My life is a waste...
No reason for me to live...
I am but a cause of pain...
One that causes rain...
The people's rain...
It slowly drips...
As they fall...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (18) | Permalink



Monday, July 4, 2005


...

"A Man"
I am but a man...
That deserves not to live...
A worthless man...
That couldn't even save that which he loves...
The knife...
The blood...
Pills...
It's all my fault...
I didn't stop her...
Her life was successful...
Mine is worthless...
I deserve to die...
To get my throat slit...
A nail driven into my wrist...
Hung with a slipknot...
Doused and lit...
Beaten until I'm bloody...
Dead and reunited with you...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (18) | Permalink



Friday, July 1, 2005


My blood is my own worst enemy...
It is the cause of it all...
The reason for pain...
The cause of the sea...
It cannot be purged...
For it is what allows me to thrive...
Yet it forces me to the lowest of lows...
And the highest of highs...
If it falls...
I fall...
There is no escape within grasp...
Only a problem for my solution...
A question as my answer...
Some fire for the water...
It tells me to leave...
To stay...
To destroy...
To create...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (17) | Permalink



Thursday, June 30, 2005


just writing things down...

"Solitude"
Solitude...
Everlasting...
Much as the scar of life...
The weight upon my shoulders...
Internal suffering...
Trapped within my soul...
Understood by none...
Hated by all...
I walk slowly to the point of no return...
The point...
Of happiness...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (22) | Permalink



Wednesday, June 29, 2005


I am here;
Alone and dieing;
Forever within my soul...
As darkness falls,
And all is lost
I lie here hoping to leave...
I dig a knife in my chest
Close my eyes-
and hope...
All will regain
The peace it once had
Within this life of mine...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (18) | Permalink



Tuesday, June 28, 2005


...poem...

"Forever Forgotten"
The love of this hate...
Coarsing through my veins...
My heart...
My soul...
Until death do us part...
The rose begins to bleed...
This one lives in the dark...
Alone...
With none beside...
None that care...
Weather I live or die...
Stab myself with this knife...
Slowly bleed and die...
Forever forgotten...
....I just... need somewhere... that I can feel alive....


Comments (19) | Permalink

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