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Friday, January 12, 2007


Blue Deciet

A stranger, once my lover with eyes of sky blue
Though you tell naught but lies, your eyes remain true

You loved me well but now it's all a lie
I'm looking straight at you but you just pass me by

I don't like deception, as you ought to know
And I don't understand why you love it so

You broke my heart and now it's shattered
My mind is lost; my thoughts scattered

I insist to myself that I really don't care
But when I examine my mind it's you I find there

And I remember things of what was and what could've been
Yet you don't see my love your heart I can't seem to win

It hurts me so that your love has faded
My heart is sore, dark, and shaded

You broke the promise that I thought you'd keep
But you didn't, I was in too deep

Yet little do you know that when you left that day
Along with you, you took my heart away

Someone please tell me how does this seem fair
For you to have my heart when you don't care

Yet all my uncertainty and things I don't know
Melt away remembering your eyes indigo

But now you've left with your eyes of blue
And never knowing that I'm still in love with you

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Wednesday, January 10, 2007


Thanx to a Friend

My bf broke my heart as most of you know, but it was becuz he was trying to figure out wat path he was to take. Even if he broke my heart i still love him and last night as i was remembering all the time we had together he up and said the words i longed so much to hear--"I love always and forever I promise and sorry for the misunderstanding". I was so relieved to hear that and my heart slowly began to repair itself but not without precaution of course. My heart was shattered and tht pain hurt so much to bear that for now, even though i want to believe him, there is no reassurance that everything will be ok. So i've learned to kinda let go of him, sadly i hav to do this of my sake. I wish there was a way i could see into his heart to know for sure whether or not he truly loves me always and forever as he says...but there's not. But that won't stop me from loving him...and even in the end...if he doesnt love me and breaks his promise...it's ok cuz all i want is for him to be happy...that means the most. Though things are rocky right now i will be strong for the ppl who care. It was all thnx to a true and wise friend. She told me "We're only allowed to wander in the dark with our eyes closed for a short amount of time; after that, if you keep wandering with your eyes closed, you won't realize when someone comes around holding a lantern for you, and believe me, you don't want to let that happen. You might get dizzy, eyes open and not seeing anything, and you may fall regardless, but if you die, then your story will be a suspense novel burned halfway. It'll be gone forever, and if you love him, for the SAKE of him and us, plz don't do anything like that. We're always here for you and we're always carrying lanterns to help so plz... don't give up. You'd have never even experienced love had you let yourself die before." Thanx to this, I have desided to accept his love even if he seems to be reluctant because I still love him, and wen i promised always and forever i really meant it. Becuz he was the one who was the 1st to bring me a lantern. Inside i thought that i was dead til he came...that was the most special moment in my life...cuz like a sirens song he rescued me. And it's thanx to this friend who wrote the comment above that I am able to be strong and hope angain... So Tigra THANKS!!!^__^

Comments (14) | Permalink



Tuesday, January 9, 2007


like i said

ok my bf broke nup with me today...i thought it was b/c of his parents...but now he's just not loving me anymore. He promised he'd love me forever.....i was i fool...he was the only thing in my life tht mattered....now nothing matters...this saddness cuts my heart so deep..idk if i can take it....

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Monday, January 8, 2007


Killing Me....

Like i told you ppl b4 my bf's parents dont approve of our relationship and now they're planning on him not seeing me anymore...by bf and i dont wanna be apart...but his parents told him he cant date till he's 16. I promised him I'd wait for him till that day wen we can be together again forever, but idk...i cant stop cry knowing tht things wont be the same and i cant tell him i love him cuz it could ruin his relationship with his parents...i just dont know wat too do...im scared....that becuz be4 he and i went out i tried to kill myself so many times...and he was my end to tht..but im afraid if he leaves...and even tho he'll still love me...im scared tht i might revert into the person i was b4 i met him...im starting to feel like im tht old person right now...and i cant take it...i'm crying for this pain to stop but sadly it wont till i can be in his arms again...itll be hard...3 years without him...i might just...i might just hav to...but i cant i promised to be with him wen he's of age...but this pain wownt stop..its killing me...i cant stand it....i might just...

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T^T

Ok so today i had an alergic reaction to sumthing...no big surprise since sum sort of skin disease runs on my dads side of the family. Most everyone in my family has it...i hav the worst case...it's not fair...I'm so nice to everyone and i get this horrible watever u call it, and my cousins hav almost perfect skin and they're so mean and judgmental...for once in my life i'd like just all of my skin probs go away...and it sux cuz i go to a school where almost everyone judges on appearance. Y'd this have to happen to me...I sumtimes wish i was never born cuz of this. my dad married my mom, had me, wen i was 12 he divorced my mom, and now im wondering Y the hell was i even born in the first place if only to suffer from insecurities...I have a boyfriend who loves me anyways and thts the only thing tht keeps me going...the fact tht he still loves me dispite my insufficiencies. heh it's kinda silly to think tht the only reason im here right now is because of his love...but none the less true that i wouldnt be here without him...so sweetie if your reading this...thank you so much...for everything^^

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Monday, January 1, 2007


Happy New Years

I hope everyone had a happy new year.


from GateKeeperOfLife


From mewmewichigo


From CrimsonVampire thank you


Comments (23) | Permalink



Sunday, December 31, 2006


Graphic Requests + Story

Ok many of you have been asking for buttons. PM me or add a comment if u would like me to teach you to make buttons, wallpapers, etc., or if you would like me to make one for you. I'm free for requests^-^

Story:
Ok so we just got our tiles dont about a month ago. They guy who did our tiles put all the stuff including the things u put over the tiles in our basement right by the furnace thingy. so for over a month we've been inhaling all tht crap and we didnt even know about it till my mom got really sick and i can barely breath. I really hope my mom gets better soon...she seems to be getting worse, but tomorrow hopefully we'll get it fixed. This sux...it feels like i hav athma. well ttyl...i hope...lol jk ill be alive i promise^-^

From CresentSunHanyou a blated xmas present



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Thursday, December 28, 2006


New Please Read=^^=

As time goes by everyday of my life
Oh how I long for yesterday
To relive the moments together
And let moments continue today

Looking back on days of the past
That we had so long ago
I can't hide these feelings
My love continues to grow

For without you here
Everything is unclear
I wish you were here
So I won't shed a tear

I'll wait endlessly for you and for us
All that's left of me and you
For our love, I'll never let go
This love endeavors true

For the rest of my life I'll wait everyday
And every night for your return
You and I together for all time
Our love always and forever will burn

As time goes by everyday of my life
How I long for you to hold me in your arms
To hear the words 'I love you'
And to see my lover with all his charms

But alas family opposition
Has caused you to drift from me
How I long to give you my love
But it doesn't reach you unfortunately

But I'll always know
That you'll wait for me till the end
So I'm still holding on to that yesterday
But tomorrow will come again

Slowly years have gone and come
But our love continues to grow
One day we'll be together
For our love, we'll never let go...

So I'll wait everyday of my life
And every night for your return
You and I together for all time
Our love always and forever will burn

Ok now for the explanation. Ok well my bf parents think we're too young to be in a relationship and they want him to kinda stop talking, seeing, etc to me. He doesnt want to do that and I dont either as u can tell. I truly love him with all my heart and soul and he loves me the same. We both know that. I know he'll love me always and forever because he promised and so did I. And now I've figured out why I'm so sad...cuz as much as I know he loves me and always will and I do too, but the thing is I love him so much and wen I cant give my love to him, cuz right now we need his parents to calm down a lil, that love is all bottled up inside and knowing i can give it to him right now makes my heart ache. That's why I've been so down lately, I just miss being with him. I've gotten used to always being at his side and talking to him, and now that I cant be for now...well it make me feel extremely lonely. he told me everything will be alright and tht he'd find a way to fix things but it seems not so likely. He told me not to worry but I cant help it I want to be with him so much...just to see him is enough for me and to see him smiling..i miss tht so much. I really hope this blows over soon so I can give him all my love that I've kept inside for so long.

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Wednesday, December 27, 2006


PLEASE READ *SOB*

Such a peaceful night it is
By myself I'm sitting here
Moonlight high above the trees
As memories become so clear

There's a gentle swaying breeze
While my eyes filled up with tears
My heart aches cause you not here
Silently through all the years

You slowly began to fade
And now you're only in my dreams
But now it's too late it would seem
As twilight glimmers in the stream

Sadness cuts my heart so deep
All the time could never heal
All this pain this constant sadness
What I've lost and what I feel

What a life it could've been
All by myself in disbelief
Continuing through the years
With misery and grief

Soon another day will begin
Wishing you were here with me
To share and make new memories
But alas was not meant to be

Sadness cuts my heart so deep
All the time could never heal
All this pain this constant sadness
What I've lost and what I feel

ok so this one guy i know whom i care very much for, his parent are in debt and he's really sad cuz he wanted this one video game that costs a lot. So im buying it for him to see him happy...but what i didnt tell him is that my moms in debt too and that im using the money i got for christmas to buy it for him. so we were talking today about the game and stuff and it seemed as if he really didnt care if i spent money on him as long as he got the game...well idk he seemed eager to get it. I'm happy of course that I can make him so happy but...thinking of the future and the money i need...it doesnt seem important when it comes to seeing him smile. Yet I know I've been straining my limits and hurting myself...and it seems I've been crying a lot lately and i just dont know what im doing anymore! I usually have an answer for everything but now im completely lost and I can't stop crying when im alone...but when I'm with him I'm so happy but as soon as he leaves again I cry once again...I just felt like getting that out....srry if I made you guys feel sad...

from my friend driffter

thnx

Comments (14) | Permalink



Saturday, December 23, 2006


XMAS Music Vid

I hope you enjoy this christmas vid from SM Town^^


Comments (2) | Permalink

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