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myOtaku.com: Maiden of life

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Friday, February 9, 2007

This does not mean anything

My heart has been frozen for a while but i melted it to give to someone whom i thought could stop its bleeding...Truth be told things didnt turn out the way i expected. It seems to bleed even more. I wish to freeze it again to protect it from pain, but i cannot for it has long since left me here dying....

Oh stranger of my darkness plz come back to me, i need you now to turn my world back into the abyss it was so i no longer feel anything...nothing at all...Darkness my one and only friend

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Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Dream of Ice Dream of Snow Dream of a Forgotten Love

Here I am waiting
Waiting for your call
But I'm let down once again
When you don’t call at all

How can I believe
Those words "Some Day..."
When I want to show my heart
You just walk away

I don't know why
You always say goodbye
I don't know why
You want to make me cry

I tell myself
Why waste my time
If you show me no sign
That one day you'll be mine

You said you loved me
Then caused me pain
Broke my heart
Forever slain

Loved me again
I took you back
Showed me love
My heart intact

Yet painful scars
Remind me of the past
Telling me 'be careful'
Promises won't always last

'Love is no good'
Is something I refuse to believe
Yet love shown
How little I receive

My once happy place
Now incased in ice
My hearts frozen too
Now that won't suffice

I wonder how far
I will have to fly
To lose you in sight
On broken wings I try

Maybe it'll be easier
If I just turn and forget
But nothing can erase
The day we first met

When time passes
What will be left for me?
My heart wishes for a miracle
I wander aimlessly

Sweet, sweet memories
I always dream of you
Of forgotten memories
And all the things we could do

Yet hope still remains
That one day when we're older
You'll show all the love kept inside
Till then, my heart grows colder

In this eternity bound land
Of ice and snow
How much my heart bleeds
You'll never know

I beg you to hold me tight
Close to your heart
And swear again and again
That we'll never be apart

Till that day I sleep alone
In a world of ice and snow
Waiting for that day to come
That day you will let me know...

[This secret place...Always blooms with cherry blossoms. Where the streams are filled with white pebbles leading up to the sparkling waterfall. In the center there lies a single white bed where the maiden sleeps. This is the place where we would waste the day away in the shade of the cherry blossoms. Times like that I wish could last forever, but that has long since passed. This place...our happy place...now frozen in ice. Instead of cherry blossom petals flowing in the gentle wind, it's now snow...cold, cold snow...I wander in this land where time ceases to exist. The water now frozen and stained crimson from a bleeding heart...Friends, take heed, this is what happens to a persons heart when frozen...]

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Sunday, February 4, 2007


It surprises me that when a guy tells you he misses u, he forgets so easily the promise to call right back when he's with his friends. -.- Guys who r reading this plz dont treat ur gals lk tht cuz they look forward to ur calls and if u dont call back they may think tht u dont care for them as much as u say u do.

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Saturday, February 3, 2007


Woohooo!!! XD lol valentines day is coming up really soon! I cant wait I have the perfect gift for my bf^^ But I wanna know, what is ur ideal present for ur special sumone or that u want for urself. I'd lk to know cuz then maybe ill add it to mine=^^= ttyl

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Sunday, January 28, 2007


Everyday a small dream has been growing
Within my heart, excitement always flowing

A love without breaking up was only a dream
But my hearts unbelievably filled it would seem

Have you notice, do you see?
This empty world filled with you and me

In the pictures that hold forgotten memories
We see our shyest expressions in these

“What if I was the only one in love in this relation?”
I would always concern myself with this question

Even if the cold wind pushed me
I'd never be far from where you'd be

Like a warm sunshine on winter days
You are shining your light on me always

Like the short moment that you waited for me in the past
Please watch over me and make new moments last

The phrase that I've always liked and remember
Is the promise you'll love me forever

You're my true love and when you're in my dreams
I can always rest happily in your arms it seems

You've embraced me like old memories
Inside your heart your love tells our stories

In this small world, our love continues forever
Like a snowflake in a white world, our love will never sever

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Friday, January 26, 2007

Bad Dream Story

The sweet maiden dreams of her prince. They are so happy together as always they hav been. Yet words of the past pierces her heart. The words of a woman much fair than she that she hath too fallen in love with the maidens prince. The prince promises he'll never leave, promising love eternity. Yet this cruel dream goes astray wen the other woman appears and the prince has fallen for thy beauty that is not thy maidens. The woman he hath spoke of as a "friend" has saduced the prince into falling in love with her and he forgets the love he had promised the maiden. The maiden trys desperately to bring him back to his senses; alas he scold the maiden and pushes her away. Holding the other woman, he kisses her gently. Tears well up in maidens eyes yet yonder prince ceases to flinch. And so the prince promises love to the other while maidens tears and shatter heart go unnoticed. The promise made by the prince to the maiden is broken by his lust for the others beauty and forever entranced he denounces his love for the maiden with words that cut her heart so deep. Even though she knows its just a dream the pain is real for her. This nightmare never seems to end for the maiden; even in the morning, this dream replays itself never stopping, and always feeling its pain as the maiden in her dream....

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Secret Pic!!!!

Ok for the last couple of weeks i've been working on a secret drawing on my comp and it hasnt been posted yet because its for my bf who checks my site once in a while, but trust my this pic is one of the best ever. I wont be able to post the pic till Valentine's Day because thts when i give it to him lol.

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Sunday, January 21, 2007

Journal Entry: Thoughts 1

I used to trust everyone so easily when i found my lantern tht guided me through the darkness. But when my lantern broke its promise i began to lessen my trust in everyone and started not believing in eternity. Though my lantern still shines and it has renewed its promise, my heart still feels the same pain tht shattered it. This is why I am afraid to trust anyone. And the harder i try to trust in my lanter and want to believe in it I remember the broken promise and the sadness tht cut my heart so deep. If I only knew what was in the lanterns heart I'd be able to trust it. But I don't...And I wonder each day what's in it's heart but never knowing brings me thoughts that pierce my heart. the lantern wants to stop my pain and sorrow but i cant bear to tell him them b/c I know he'll be sad and then my heart will ache even more. Y is this? It's b/c the only purpose in my life is to make him happy and knowing i was the one tht made him sad is like the same thing as heartbreak. I love him, he is my only love, I wish for it to stay that way. I want to trust him more than anythng in the world, but i guess im afraid of being hurt again. He says that will never happen but i need that to be proven. Maybe im just being overprotective of myself, but is that wrong? My heart hurt so bad that day that i wanted to die but i wasnt going to cuz i wanted to continue to see him smile even if that smile wasnt meant for me. I thought I'd just go through life waiting to die but he came into my life and that changed cuz i could trust him. But b/c my heart was broken all i can do is wait till eternity is proven to me and then and only then I will trust and not regret ever trusting. For when that day comes ill give everything i have to this lantern....but for now all i can do is hope tht one day it will be proven to me....

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Friday, January 19, 2007

My Wish

Wishing, simply wishing
Wishing for you to see past
All the pain I feel
All the pain behind my mask

I always tell you I'm alright
But inside I'm crying
I'm trying not to let it out
I'm trying, always trying

I want you to see
The pain in my eyes
To keep me close
And stop telling lies

If you are truly the one
Who could see past my mask
I'll know you are the one
Who'll make our love forever last

But alas you do not see
So I sit her in pain and sorrow
Waiting for the next day
To lie again tomorrow

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007


Thanks to all of you who helped me through the toughest part of my life so far. You guys helped cheer me up and not only that but you've helped me become stronger as a person. I can now stick true to my saying, "Always protect what's percious to you, but also be prepared to loose what's precious to you." I am now prepared to do all of this. Before I only protected my precious person and I believed in eternity, but I know better now. Eternity will remain a fantacy for me as of now. Though I shall forever hold true to my promise of eternal love, his love may fade and I must accept that even though I'll still be loving him. But I'm still ok with that even though my heart may break and never recover all i want is his happiness even if tht happiness doesnt include me. My heart's been broken several times by the same person, and though the scars never seem to fade, seeing his smile I can easily forget the pain that has been inflicted upon my fragile heart. This was a lesson you guys helped me to reach. So ppl who hav commented for my past few posts get ready to receive an award for me.

From WickedxChibi


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