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Monday, April 14, 2014


  This is Gospel
For the Vagabonds
Ne'er do wells
And insufferable bastards...

I seem to be losing my ability to retain lyrics. Can only remember certain parts of songs now. Probably because I don't listen to as much as I used to.

I've really come to dislike the emo scene. I know that's ludicrous coming from me (see my last 3 posts) but it's one thing if you're actually sad and spilling your guts. It's another thing if you just put on this huge, heaving, sighing emo act to fit in or worse FUCKING BRAG ABOUT CUTTING AND SUICIDE NOTES. Depression is not a fashion statement. Being fucked up is nothing to be proud of--it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of either, but you shouldn't aspire to it.

I don't know. I used to love verbal caves--things that were dark and deep and cool like memes about cutting and teenage poetry and sensitive men in eye-liner, but now when I look at those same things on twitter or tumblr, I just get disgusted--not by the people who retweet or share them, but by the effect those memes have.

A lot of times I feel like instead of making us more aware of depression and those who suffer it, it jades us and makes us desensitized to it and them.
val is awesome!!!!

I'm not saying you shouldn't speak up if you're depressed, but I don't think twitter and facebook are appropriate ways to do it. It's a real shame there's no intimate community online like myotaku for the younger generation. I know for a fact you guys and this site saved my life probably more than I know.

ANYWAY. I'm growing older, but never growing up. Not because I don't want to--I just don't know how.
I'm broke and living with my parents and trying to get a job. Nothing's changed.
EXCEPT. I finally got my license. jfsdhfuishiusfbsjkfjk
Took my long enough. lol
Anyway.
I love you guys. If you want my number for texting purposes, say so in the comments. I'm message it to you.
~Belinda

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Tuesday, March 4, 2014


I am a jack o lantern the day after Halloween.
Sacrificed all my guts for a single spectacle. Will anyone read? Will anyone remember? Anyone at all?

I am screaming into a bottomless chasm, waiting forever for a response that will never come. I am a passenger with a cancelled ticket waiting at the gate of a condemned airport for a plane that crashed years ago. I am a dying women on the floor of the emergency room waiting for my insurance to go through. I...need a fucking drink.

If you're with me, than meet me at my house. We'll make our poison to dehydrate ourselves.
I love you all.
~Belinda

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Friday, February 7, 2014


Hatsu is a natsu name
I seem to be regressing back to 8th grade so I thought I'd come pour my heart out where I used to then.

"Comparing myself to everyone else around me." I need to get away. I am "just trippin'" as the song goes. Need to read that story, write my response. Be done.

But my brain is so dull and everything is so heavy. Maybe I just need a job. Not a vacation. My brain deteriorates over vacation. I overdo the rest and relaxation and cant think by the time I come back.

ya feel me, sistas? Brothas? Cousins? Fellow geniuses?

There just comes a time where you want to stay busy, but you're also sick to death of proving yourself.
ily
~Belinda

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