AIM • PurpleThunder07 Website •Click Here Yahoo! Messenger • BlackSky4me07
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Birthday • 1989-04-20 Gender •
Female Location • My wolf den. Member Since • 2005-01-18 Occupation • Maki, the Raving Wolf Real Name • Just call me Maki
Personal
Achievements • Lots of stuff... Anime Fan Since • Since "My Neighbor Totoro" came out Favorite Anime • A lot of them Goals • Become a professional writer or an animator Hobbies • Writing music/ lyrics, drawing, raving (freehand) Talents • You tell me....*wink* Just kidding
myOtaku.com: PerpetualWolfSage
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
This little essay thing, I'm doing for class. I wrote in about 2 days, with some revising and editing. I'm still supposed to edit it some more later this week. I don't know what else to do. This one probably sucks. Most of this is real life, as in, most of it really happened, and a little bit didn't. Erm...Enjoy...*skitters off to talk to Pocky*
"After all that you said you’d do for me, you go and take THEIR side?" I screamed at my sister, pointing to both of my parents. The tears streamed down my burning cheeks like rivers, and my breathing was getting harder to catch as I tried to gain more oxygen. Whenever I cry, my face burns up as if my tears were made of pure acid, which made my eyes water up even more.
" I just don’t understand how you feel these things Amanda. Why would you go against us and do this?" My sister, Sami questioned me with fiery eyes.
“You told me that you would stay behind me and support me no matter what my preference. Why are you against me now?” Looking at my sister, her face all crumpled up and crooked with a mixture of emotions, all of which included fear, anger, doubt, confusion and sadness, I felt like we were in a battle for the highest point of my parents’ affection, her weapon of choice was a backstabbing dagger that punctured a million holes into me, draining to leave me helpless and empty.
At first, this argument included my whole family, now it was a war between my sister and I. It used to be the object of mom and dad’s approval as the prize, but for me, it was finding out the reason why I was hated. I just wanted answers.
By this time, I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. All oxygen had left and I was struggling to retain any that I still had. My breathing became sharp and shallow, not withholding anything I was taking into my lungs. The bad thing was that my whole family thought I was faking it “to get attention”. As if I wanted to make anything else my fault. Nobody was helping and abandonment overcame me more than it has before.
Feeling dizzy, my mind started to drift. I remembered when Sami met my good friend Cristen. How in fact she did walk up to me and ask who she was. I’m sure she noticed that we were holding hands, my grip tightened as she got closer, and my palms started to sweat. When she approached us, with a high chin, straight back, a smile and said, “Hi, I’m Sami, Amanda’s sister. You must be Cristen. I’ve heard many good things about you. It’s nice to meet you” My body almost collapsed from relief when I heard those words. Cristen and I were both surprised at her reaction. She hesitantly stuck out her hand and shook my sister’s, finally smiling after letting go.
Now in the living room, feeling hurt, still dizzy, like I had just been stomped into the dirt, my sister yelled at me and I just took it. I thought I could trust her with my “dirty little secret”. That’s what I like to call it, because, that’s how I felt. I felt dirty and angry. I mistrusted Sami, thinking that my own flesh and blood could helpo me. I was disappointed because she went behind my back and put me to shame when I thought she was the only one holding me up high on the pedestial. But I guess I had to be more careful about who I really put faith into. Soon enough, I was able to talk again…I couldn’t say anything. My eyes were filled with fury and angst as a single tear drop fell to the floor for the final time. The door of my room slammed shut as I fell asleep with leftover aggression that I wouldn’t let anyone else see, pouring onto my pillow case and into my dreams.
Ani-chan: It took a long time for Maki to type this out...To write it out nonetheless. Really, most of this is true. I believe only a small portion of it was exaggerated. Is this supposed to be somewhat of a rant, Maki-san?
No not really...I just didn't have much to say. Being away from my friends has chunked out a lot of interesting stuff that could be put in here. It's just something I've been thinking about. I guess it's a neutral post. I'm not happy or sad. I'm only making Valentines for 7 or 8 people. They are original. I'm drawing them out tonight.
Ani-chan: Oh....Where's that icon then? *looks around*
I'm supposed to be doing research on Dia de los Muertos, but I don't feel like it, and my teacher is not here. So I thought I'd take advantage of the situation. Sugoi!
I did manage to get into a bit of trouble again. I don't know how I managed to do that...But I did. There is pretty much no chance for me to see Yoko Ishida now. But at least I'll be able to see Pocky-koi this Saturday. I really hope I can at least say hi. I miss him so much.
Ani-chan: Maki-san, why are you so bent up over trouble? You had a feeling that something was going to go wrong...trust your instincts....
I know...*sigh* My mind is a bit clouded at the moment...I have a lot to think about and I just needed to talk to him...*shrugs off locks myself and draws in the closet and on the walls in the dark*
...*gives Ani-chan a hug and bawls in her shoulder*
Hey guys...sorry. I'm a bit grounded at the moment, hence the fact that I'm updating MyO at school. I will be able to post once in a while.
You guys can handle not reading this for 2 weeks right? I'm sure you can. If was all because of my and phone antics; talking while doing homeowork...I was almost done too! Damn...Well.
I'm also grounded from the phone. I might be able to call some of you once in a while, during lunch or something. It's not like any of you will be in direct contact anyway. This weekend most of you are going to Ushi-con. I won't be able to see you. For those of you who are going, and can read this, call my cell and leave funny messages for me to check when I get it ^.^ Especially you POCKY!! I'm going to miss you!
I love you!!!
I'm still pissed though...I actually went to bed around 10 30 because I had no one to talk to *thinks of SOS*
Pocky wanted me to update, so I'm updating...Heheh.
A lot of what I thought about today, consisted of Seth-chan being sick today. >.> She didn't seem like she was in a good mood, and I worried about her. I know she is a trooper, and looked like she felt a little bit better when practice was over. I hope she's doing ok.
This won't be a very long post. I'm kind of tired, and I want to go speak on the phone with my SOS. I also want to go read Macbeth...It's very interesting....I can tell this is getting boring
I might post this poem thing later. Maybe tomorrow. I wrote it last night after hanging up with Pocky-chan. I'm talking to him on the phone at the moment....here's the conversation at the moment...
I'm really jealous of the people who have Photoshop...I wish I could get it. I think you can download it; that's what Tala did. If anyone has a link or anything so that I can get it for myself, It would be much appreciated!
With photoshop, I'd be able to do things like Tala's work, and Seth's. Here's a few that Tala did for me tonight, out of the blue. I love them, And they deserve a round of applause.
This is Pocky and me...It's awesome. I LOVE YOU POCKY!!! <3
This one she did some time ago, I still love it...
Thank you Tala *huggles* I WANT PHOTOSHOP!! Mehh..*cries
I didn't fall asleep until around 3 am last night. That's when the phone's battery ran out, and just in time too. It beeped right when I was saying goodbye, and the phone shut off after the final salutation.
I gave a gift to someone, a special someone. This someone, I think, needs this guardian, and deserves him. Joey, my spider guardian has taken a place in Pocky's concience to forever guide him in his future endeavors and for his friendship. I know he'll be very happy ^.^
....That last paragraph sounded really corny. Well, *nods* Joey's with Pocky now. It wasn't my decision, but I agree with it. Pocky does deserve a guardian, and I hope Joey will keep him as happy as he has made me.
I had made plans to go see Pocky today. Something came up and he had to stay home. Phooey. Heh. No worries. It's not the end of the world. I want to IM him to say hi, but his Away message is up that he's asleep, and I don't want to bug him.
Ani-chan: Becoming a little obsessed are we? He's all you seem to be thinking of these past few days...
Nuh uh...*shakes head* Not obsessed, just...I don't know...LEAVE ME ALONE! Is against the law or something? He's not ALL I've been thinking about...I think of other stuff too...
Ani-chan: I guess you're right, but, you do seem to care a lot about him, right?
....Yes...I do. I hope Joey will take care of him. I trust in him to do so. All of my other guardians miss him a bit. The good things about them is that they can visit whenever they want. They can go to wherever Pocky is and say Hi if they wanted to. Joey can visit us as well....hmm...I found this song last night that reminded me of him. It was awesome
There's this other feeling I just can't shake off my shoulders though. Seth knows about it. I'm just trying to get things straight. She helps me out so much...Even if it's just seeing her bright laughy face in the morning to cheer me up. Thanks Sethy!
Ani-chan: CAN I PLEASE COME ON MONDAY TO SEE SETH?! PLEASE?
*can't think of a way to end this post*....Um...here's your Icon already! I'm off to go play DDR with Assney
I think I'm finally starting to move on, kinda. Well, Yes, I'm definately on the road to a better week/ rest of the year. I know that I shouldn't have been that emotional, but hey, I was hurt.
Thanks to all my friends who are always there for me. I love you all. I'm off to talk to a special person...
Shut the fuck up Crystal. Just drop it. It's done, you're an irresponsible, over-emotional bitch, and you can't deal with it.
You fucking knew I was standing next to you after school today, yet, you didn't hand me the money until I fucking asked you. Even then did you throw an attitude when you handed it to me, nor did you at least say sorry for taking so long. This is stupid. I trusted you and you ruined it. Your loss.
Goodnight, sleep tight. I'm done. Your icon:
Anyway, on to not wasting my time:
Ani-chan and I went away for the long hours. It was torture. Seth knows it. At least Animula was there for me. I almost broke down in 3 of my classes. It's just horrible. I threw my rifle on the ground, hard, yelling Fucking Shit!!!. Yugi got scared and started following me to the band room. I kinda just wanted to be alone. Then again, I'm not the type of person to yell at someone to back off. I have to work on that...I just don't...know
Well, aside from that part of my day. My new schedule requires me to attend a Speech class. I wanted to be in the class with Seth, as she is taking the same thing, but I was not able to help the fact that those things will mostly likely not be changed when the mass of students rush to get theirs changed as well. My teacher is awesome anyway. I was designated the Music Lady. She made me laugh by the way she stares at people when they don't pay attention...
We have a word of the day (Intrapersonal Communication, it's spelled correctly, and it is the words spoken to one's self).
We also have a quote of the day: "I think, therefore, I am" ~Rene Descartes
I hope this school year is going to be better than last year. It was kind of boring, doing the same thing again and again. I'm not that kind of person. Next year, I plan on taking a wide variety of classes. I just hope I can get through this week. After this week, I should be fine, and hopefully have this Significant Other business...
After that quarrel with the past SO, I decided that there was a much ME time needed to be spent. Since I didn't really feel like being alone, and the fact that I love these people, I went to a sleepover at Assney's house, with the dearest Sethos and Kawaii Seth. I would type out all the crazy stuff that we did and talked about, but it would take too damn long. The only thing I will tell you is that they scared the shit out of me when I first arrived, impostering Sada-chan, and making me scream. Here are some pics instead. They go in order of the night. I don't think we went to sleep til about 4 or so. And there aren't many pics with my face in it. If there are, I have a white mask on. ^.^ I might come back to make some comments about most of these. Right now, I have some plans with a friend from out of town. I just want to let these girls know that I love them all, and Thanks for making me feel awesome all the time...ENJOY!!
Ani-chan and Chococat The lovely Assney!! Sethos is flipping me off... Sethos on the screen, being stupid Ani-chan and Chococat keeping warm in Seth's arms. (we were outside) SADA-CHAN!!!!
A bunch of me's, with that mask, so sexy: Chococat with teh mask Sethos' castle Me and Ash
Sorry if any of these are big and it makes MyO all wierd looking. Comments (5) |
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One of my essays I'm turning in... 
Erm...driven to the ground... 
*is happy* 
SLEEP OVER!! WHOOO!!! 
Ani-chan and Chococat
The lovely Assney!!
Sethos is flipping me off...
Sethos on the screen, being stupid
Ani-chan and Chococat keeping warm in Seth's arms. (we were outside) 
SADA-CHAN!!!!
Chococat with teh mask
Sethos' castle
Me and Ash