Saturday, November 11, 2006

It's Been a While
I'm mostly bored most of the time. Honestly, my life just seems so uneventful, boring and tired I wish I wasn't living it. School has been keeping me really busy. Mid-terms and just regular tests and quizzes and papers and reading, so much reading. It can all get quite stressful, but despite this at the end of the day I'm mostly just wishing I had things to do. There's this... apathy is the best way to describe it. I just don't care about a lot of what I have to deal with. I mean, I guess I do, because I'm really on top of my grades and I refuse to fail math again, but I don't really care care. I mean, once it's over it will be over and I will move on to worrying about my other classes and never think back on the factoring of binomials. Math is hard. I miss the free and flowy spirit of art school where they don't really care if you know what 2+2 is, but rather appreciate the creativity of 2+2=7. Sigh.Yea, I know.

Anyway, things that have been going on.

- I finally got my financial aid check from school and have gone on a little bit of a shopping frenzy.
- I'm in the running for two jobs in the city of Miramar. Good government jobs with health insurance and everything.
- I think I may be coming down with something like a cold or some bad sore throat/ coughing combination.
- I've been going to the gym at least twice or three times a week which is better than my previous none and that makes me feel marginally better about myself.
- My lit teacher is apparently impressed with my writing and has asked for some examples of my fiction work to submit to the school magazine.
- I'm all registered for the next semester. I'd be able to get my AA in the spring, but I've decided not to take math and statistics at the same time and so will be finished in the summer.
- Jeremy is still as clingy as ever.
Comments (3) | Permalink

Sunday, October 15, 2006

I Need a Sugar Daddy


I'm getting this small aching pains in my abdomen. They are mostly these kind of dull pains, but sometimes they will intensify, slowly gathering and bunching up into a tight little fist of pain. It is a nice feeling because these are the beginnings of my menstrual cycle. Not being pregnant is such a delicious feeling. I will sit here and relish in the pain of my cramps and my lack of being with child ^_^

Sigh.

Tomorrow my father is off to Nicaragua and I will get some much needed rest from his nagging. I am very glad he is no longer sick. But he is still very annoying so yes.

I am longing for a job. This feeling of no money and this utter dependance on everyone around me for everything everything everything I could possibly need is annoying. I want to buy my things. My clothes and my books and my music and my trinkets and my furniture. I don't even have a dresser. My clothes sits in plastic bins and folded in the closet with Jeremy's which means it always ends up all mangled and messed up because he can't keep things straight. I have all these ideas in my head that are so difficult to exact with out the proper supplies. I want money. I miss counting the bills in my petite chic wallet.

Comments (4) | Permalink

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I'm Gonna Punch You in Your Glasses
I feel so out of touch. I'll call people and I just don't know what to say. Talking to people outside of my immediate realm has become so bizarre and I'm so bored all the time. I've become increasingly distanced from my friends, like even more so than when I was living in Chicago. I'm bored, so bored. I'm tired of TV and internet and yea. I wish I had more friends, basically. My life is stagnant and it's depressing.

So yea, things are not great. I'm still insanely poor and with no job. I'm waiting for a call back from a couple of places, but I've heard nothing yet. I just really want to be making my own money, and it's not that no one wants to hire me, but rather how difficult it's become to go out there and find one. It's impossible to get away, my mom is always feeling bad or there simply just isn't a car to get out there. It's all very frustrating.

I am at least going to school and can look forward to some eventual financial aid checks. I'm taking four classes: Survey of World Literature, Algebra, Social Science and Descriptive Astronomy. Going to school is good, it offers up a place to be other than home as well as makes me feel like I am progressing forward somehow. I am 65% done with my AA which is something. It's nice to know where you're at, although next semester I'll have to talk to an advisor to figure out what else exactly I need to take in order to be done. Transfering back and forth can make things confusing.

Jeremy is now going to school as well, which is a good thing. Our relationship in general however has been really good lately. We were having some hiccups a couple of weeks back, but then I just let it go and decided to focus on where we were and not where we were going. The future is overrated and Jeremy is dreamy.

That is pretty much all I have to say. It's strange because I felt there was more. Oh well.
Comments (3) | Permalink

» Archives