Tuesday, August 10, 2004

   ^_^

my friend is feeling a lot better right now, i may have mentioned his "depression attacks" before, i guess this was one of them?... but right now he's pretty happy so i'm very relieved...

one of the reasons that it's so scary for me is that he lives in a different country (we met through DeviantART) so it would be fairly hard to stop him from killing himself if he had already decided on something.

but yeah... sometimes it seems so easy to go to the kitchen and get a knife... or just like turn the car on and lock yourself in the garage... or you know... jump off a building... or a bridge... well you get the point, right? ^^;

and i know for a fact that he owns a knife... not like a kitchen knife but an actual dagger. and he's gotten so far as to stabbing his foot. (thank goodness for his fear of pain! otherwise he might have gone through with it that one time...)

he scares me a lot sometimes... i'm gonna lose my psuedonym because of him one day... can't be soujiro if i keep crying all the time... ^^;

but right now i'm happy because he's feeling a lot better now! ^_^

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   ...

um ya i went to the first day of high school yesterday... they call it orientation but i think it's actually the first day of school since we're already getting homework and reports and what not... the only difference is right now we don't know our electives and i don't have P.E. meeting people is kind of hard but i'll have to do it since there's not really anyone i know there... i have a couple friends now...

oh and an update on my friend (i talked about him a couple days ago)... he's feeling kind of suicidal right now, and... he was on some messenger and some idiot told him to kill himself! so now... i'm really scared, he's off researching what the most painless and least expensive way is to die... TT-TT

...at this rate i'm going to lose my psudonym...

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Sunday, August 8, 2004

   Trip to JTown

Yesterday my dad took me to jtown! i was so happy there ^_^ and we got to see a lot of old katanas and a gun from the 1600's... the stores there were great. I got a new deleter background book... copyright free so i can use it whenever i want! ^_^

before we left i spotted an anime store. they had lots of manga, dvds, and jpop. and they also had school uniforms... so my dad bought me a serafuku outfit! even though i'm known to never wear skirts... but i guess it's ok i'll wear it sometimes ^^; i want to go back and shop some more... i almost bought a gothic lolita book but i ran out of money XP

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Saturday, August 7, 2004

   About my friend... again

sorry if none of you are interested... v_v;; but anyway...

my friend is feeling better but now that he has a knife i'm really worried about him. like... what if he has another depression attack and actually goes through with it? i won't be able to stop him because we're not even in the same continent... and when he has these attacks sometimes he won't listen to reason...

he had an attack like this a few weeks before his last one, and that was the first time i realized how serious he was. that one wasn't nearly as bad as the last one though.

last time he said he'd gotten so far as to stabbing himself in the foot... but he said he was afraid of the pain, so he didn't go through with it. as soon as he overcomes his fear, he had told me, he would be able to commit suicide.

i know he's feeling better right now but i'm worried about the next time...

last time he didn't even believe me when i told him that i would be sad if he died...

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Friday, August 6, 2004

   ^_^

my friend is feeling a lot better now... he says he has these depression attacks every so often... whatever they are they're scary... TT-TT but at least he's feeling better right now ^_^

ya. well. i start school in about a week and a half so starting then don't expect many updates... i'll have too much homework XP

er. that's about it. but i would like to clarify because someone did this to me on deviantART:

Girls should not refer to themselves as boku, nor should guys refer to themselves as watashi

that was a little weird... but o well.

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Thursday, August 5, 2004

  

i have a friend on DeviantART who is really making me worried. he's my best friend there and right now he's really depressed and very close to suicide, he has a knife... he said that he came really close to using it yesterday. i'm really scared so i have to write it in here because on my journal there i don't talk about things that much...

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Wednesday, August 4, 2004

   ._.

i can't access deviantart at the moment. TT-TT or songjapan TT-TT

had my first petshop of horrors dream yesterday night. but when i woke up i was disappointed to find that rabid lizards DIDN'T eat me and the giant bird NEVER destoyed the city.

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Tuesday, August 3, 2004

   Alice

Ok yesterday i mourned P-chan, now it's Alice's turn. (but it will be the rabbit this time, not the girl)

The couple had recently lost their daughter, Alice. So when they entered Count D's petshop they were surprised to find a girl that looked exactly like their dead daughter. Of course, Count D had to explain that "Alice" was really a rabbit.

Of course the couple wanted to buy her, so they did. Part of the contract was that they couldn't feed her anything but fruit and vegetables, even if she asked.

Eventually, Alice was able to talk... "Mama, Daddy" she said. And then she asked for some candy. The father was reluctant to give it to her, but her mother, who loved Alice so much, could not refuse her "daughter" so she said "...Just this once" and gave her the candy.

But Alice wouldn't stop eating the candy, and it acted as poison to her and killed her from the inside out.

From the dead Alice, thousands of baby... rabbits bit their way through (by now Alice was a dead giant rabbit) and started attacking the city.

And then Alice's father was killed. and then Alice's mother lost some fingers. And the rabbits kept coming, each giving birth to more.

But Alice's mother didn't want them to kill any of the rabbits. "She's still my daughter," she cried.

Count D realized what had happened.

The real Alice had been spoiled, and started to steal, and do drugs. She became a drug addict. While in the hospital, she asked her mother for her drugs. "Please, mommy, I need my drugs, just this once."

So her mother gave her the drugs. And thus, the real Alice was killed.

And the city was now full of rabbits. They talked about burning them all, or hitting them with high-pressure water. But Alice's mother still said, "No! Even if she's a drug addict, she's still my daughter!"

At the tenth generation of rabbits, they all dropped dead. "The poison that the mother had has been passed down from generation to generation, and now is taking effect," explained Count D.

So all the rabbits were dead and the city was... um... kind of saved. The end.

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Monday, August 2, 2004

Mourning P-Chan

Do you remember him?

P-Chan was a Srelitzia who was bought by Angelica in Petshop of Horrors volume 1. (please do not confuse with Q-chan, the winged rabbit)

He sang for Angelica, but she felt that he was lonely without a mate, so she bought one for him.

Angelica promised not to go into the greenhouse for a week, but on the 6th day she went in to give them food and found that P-chan was dead, killed by his mate.

Count D explained that the mating process is that the male is killed so that he can be food for the young.

And then he leaves to go sell his next pet.

(sorry for spoilers, it wasn't very detailed, though, so that's ok right?)

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Let me tell you a story...

"Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time there was this... devil, walking through a park. A young, poorly parented child attacked the devil with a hatchet. After killing the child, the boy's tribe gathered. They came for the devil while he slept. When the devil awoke, he thought it odd that he should be blamed for the boy's death. So he killed them all. The end."

--Ororon from Akuma No Ororon volume 3

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