Friday, September 21, 2007

Blahhhh...

I'm bored.
Pep rally was today.
Boring yet alright.
Ms. McGorry got pied.
HAHAHAAAA.
Some was funny, that for example.

Parade and football game tomorrow.

I'm boring and never have anything to post about anymore.
WEEEEEEEEEEE.
Good riddens,
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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

School was by so fast by the time I got to Foods yesterday.
I have no school today.
It's 6 in the morning.
My dad woke me up to help with Maple's drugs.
I fell asleep on the couch in the basement last night.
Kelsey was over and my dad mom her and Jonathan played pool with Krissy sort of.
I was watching "The Singing Bee" on tv while they played pool.
I didn't feel like another game I already played like five with my mom beforehand.

Hmmmmmmmm.... Maple's eye is doing better the vet said.
Goooooood.
She's going back Friday.
To see if anymore improvement

Holy fuck >_< My alarm clock just went off.
I didn't remember about it.
It all the sudden blarrrrrrrrrrrrrred music.


Well yea, I'm going to sleep. Good night.
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Monday, September 17, 2007

You.
Lied.
Too.
Me.
You lie to me too much.
I can't trust you anymore.

How am I supposed to trust the one person I should be able to?
You don't even let me help you.
You tell me nothing.
NOTHING.

Friendship means so little to people these days.
Or maybe just to you.
I give up.
I give up I give up I give up.

No point in trying with you anymore...
I'm no help to you.
You don't give a fuck about me anyway.
You don't care if I ever feel like shit.
And I care about you.
And I try to help but you won't let me.
I can't stand this anymore.
Please oh please just get it over with and let me go.
Take my life away.
Please please please.
I couldn't stand living without you, but you most certianly can without me.

Because you know what...

You don't care.
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Sunday, September 16, 2007

Maple has an ulcer on her eye.
In her cornia.
I don't remember how to spell that >_<
Cornea?


I just got out of the shower.
I'm freeeeeezing now.
But warmer than before.


I have a headahce.
I'm supposed to document my headaches down for the month and tell the doctor when I go back.
Ughhhh.

I'm watching Niptuck.

I think I'm going to give Maple her medicine an hour early and go to bed cuz its almost 2:30/ Just another half hour I have to wait.

I don't have anything else to say.
Sorry I haven't been posting.
Life's just boring and I don't have anything to talk about.
Good night.
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Thursday, September 13, 2007

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Picture Day.
Pissed off already.
Lovely lovely lovelyyyyy....
GAHHHHHHH!
I don't feel good >_<
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Monday, September 10, 2007

School.
Woke up late.
Hope I'm not too too late.
DAMNIT.
Boring yesterday.
Ummmmmmmm...
BYE!

Doctors tomorrow.
After School.
After practice.
DAMN DAMN DAMN.
I despise doctors.
I had a bad dream about them last night.
Hahahaaaa...
I was getting shots and they were killing me.
I don't know....
Creeps.


OKAY CONTACTS ADN BRUSHING HAIR NOW BYE BYE
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Sunday, September 9, 2007

Hmmmm, slept til 'bout 10 or so.
I have a stomach ache all the sudden. >_<
And I'm all itchy again. >_ Oh well, I was laying down but I couldn't sleep so I figured I'd post.
It's real humid and annoying.

I spent the day at home bored.

My dad asked if I wanted to go to Homedepot like 5-10 minutes away and I felt like getting out of the house so I did.
We bought a door and a light fixture and a parts bag for him for work.
Then we went out to the car and he's like get in the driver's seat and I got all nervous and I'm like, "Nooo I'll crash into something!!"
So I drove around the parking lot a couple times and then down the road and there was a little like curved road off to the side of it and I didn't see it and I drove over on the grass.
It was funny.
A bird wouldn't move and I almost hit it but it finally had moved.
Then on my way back from around the circle a froggy was hopping across the road but I don't think I hit it.
Hope not.
Then I went up and down the road to the main road I live off of.
My dad kept moving the wheel and making the truck move too much if I went a little over the line.
Evil!!
Yeaa.... then I almost crashed into my mom's big SUV in the driveway.
I told him I might and that I wanted to park in the street instead!
Oh well...


Here I ammmm............
12:04 AM!
I think I'm gonna take a shower.
Maybe it'll calm my tummy.
And the itchies.
HAH!
NUH NIGHT!


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Saturday, September 8, 2007

I haven't a thing to talk about lately...
I've just been bored.
And going to bed earlyier so I don't post before I go to bed.
Three days of school.
Done and over with.
Now it's the weekend.
Thank godddddddddd
It was hot yesterday.
Ummm.
Football game.
Chantal was trying to tell me what to do and it got me so pissed off.
So I was bitchy half the time.
Most the time.
And just yea.
I messed up during halftime.
But it was only the first game and no one except the capitans know all the whole drills...mainly.
I'm so fucking tired.
It's only 11:15 PM.
I don't want to not be able to post this.

-2 minutes later.-

My body aches.
mY DADDY GOT MY CAR INSPECTED TODAY.
Woops.
Caps lock.
DAMNIT.
My daddy got my car inspected today.

-another minute.-

My boobs itchy.
And my armpit.
And my arm.
And the back of my neck.
Hahahahhaaaa....

Ugh I just fell asleep in my chair for the last like half half.
I'm not the least untired whatsove ever now.
Damn!!!!
It's 11:52 PM
midnihgtm=dingiht mifnight dmnnit
hahaha i fell asleep again. its 2 30
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Thursday, September 6, 2007

First day wasn't bad whatsoever.
I knew plenty people in most my classes.
Know, but aren't exactly friends or like big on talking with them.
Here's my classes.

Geometry
Intro Art
Homeroom
NJROTC II
Biology I
Lunch
English II
Foods I
Band, aka colorguard.

Second semester I have...

Geometry
World History
NJROTC II
Biology I
Lunch
English II
Foods I
Gym


I don't have any classes except for colorguard with Brittany.

Geometry I know Becky.
Intro art I know Jenn and Tyler
NJRTOC II I know Ed, Heather, Michelle, Nicole, Jon... not sure who else.
Biology I know Kara, Sam, Lauren and maybe other people.
Lunch there's Anna, Michelle Lauren, Melissa, Stephanie, and I met this girl Natasha because I stalked Lauren to lunch because she went up to me in Bio and took my schedule and said we had the same lunch so I'm like "Yeaa, can I sit with you? Haha, I don't know anyone," and so I did.
English II there's Tyler, Becky, Jasmine, Abby, Dalton, probably a bunch of other Hooksett kids I don't remember.
Foods I there's Jenn, this chick Alicia? I don't think that's how she spells it though but she's in band, she's the chick I accidentally hit her trumpet during band camp with my flag and dented her trumpet and her lip was bloody, and this guy Hunter I know sort of but not really.
Band, aka colorguard there's *drumroll pleaseeeee* BRITTANY!!!!!.. oh and uhhh, band people and other colorguard people.


So yea.... That's it basically.
Oooh, I saw Anna and them in the lunch line and I like ran over and poked her haha.
Off to bed now though.
I'm typing this at 10:14... 10:15 at night.
I'll maybe remember to post it tomorrow if I have the time and such.
BYE!!!


I'm so fucking cold for some reason...
It's 6:19 AMMMMMMMMM...
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Wednesday, September 5, 2007

..........
..........

Not my fault I don't have a door.
Not my fault I can't control the puppies and make them not go in the trash.
Not my fault mom yells becuase of it.
Not my fault not my fault not my fault.
But I get blamed.
So, yes it is yes it is yes it god damn is.
Not my fault you don't give a shit.
Not my fault you can't take the time to care about me.
Not my fault you always yell.
But somehow, it is.
Not my fault I was concieved.
Not my fault all the things they said were wrong weren't.
Not my fault I was a healthy baby.
Somehow, oh somehow.
Not my fault something worse hadn't happened.
Not my fault I haven't died yet.
Not my fault I had instinct to fight back.
My fault I didn't just sit there and let you hurt me.
Maybe I would've died if I hadn't tried to get away.
Not my fault I just can't stay happy.
Not my fault I try to be and am, then it gets torn down by something, someone.
Not my fault I just don't sit there when something happens.
And you have to ask why I'd seem so fucked up to you?
I'm fucked up I know that.
Not my fault you laughed at me when I told you I thought I was depressed.
Not my fault I don't like telling people things.
Not my fault everything I've ever told you, you just have to tell the world.
Nothing can ever be our little secret.
Not my fault you told me she lived in that house.
Not my fault it reminds me of it all.
Not my fault she molested me...
Made me scared of the dark.
I'm not anymore though.
Cause I know you wouldn't be there to protect me anyways so I toughened up.
Not my fault I was just a little girl still and if I got hurt you were just, "Oh, suck it up."
Not my fault I didn't make a more severe cut on my hand when I was little.
Maybe I would've died then.
These what, ten years is it now?
You wouldn't have had so much torture of having me around.
Not my fault all you do is criticize me.
Not my fault nothing can ever stay good.
Nothing nothing nothing, ever.
I'm sorry I can't please you.
Sorry I can't be the perfect daughter.
Sorry all you make me want to do is die.
Not my fault I'm afraid to get close to anyone enough to make a friend.
Afraid they'll just up and leave cause I'm such a horrid person.
My fault I can't protect the one person that's my best friend.
My fault she can't be happier...
I can't protect her from things and could lose her.
I don't want to lose her.
I'm so selfish like that.
Stupid stupid stupid girl.
Annoyance.
Dumbass.
Your fault, your fault, your fault.
Your fucking fault damnit.
My fault for anything and everything.
My fault you made it so I can't trust anyone.
My fault I didn't let you just choke me till I'd finally die.
Or that I held to the railing so I couldn't fall downstairs.
My fault I ran and hid.
It's all my fault.
I see it all now, all my fault.
All my god forsaken fault.
My fault for any pain I've had.
My fault I was afraid of hitting a vien and not dying from it.
My fault I avoided ones I can see.
My fault I never pressed hard enough.
My fault I'm not gone from this place already.
My fault thinking someone would mayb, just maybe care if I died.
My fault thinking what would happen if I didn't.
My fault all those meds never worked worth shit.
My fault I have no friends.
My fault I hide everything because I can't trust anyone.


My fault for all your tortuous pain.
Allllllll my fault.
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