Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Quick Post
Since I havent updated in a while and have nothing of any real significance happening, I shall leave you with a tasty morsel if dirtiness

Enjoy!
-SwordPsycho


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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The post of GREATNESS!!! vol. 2
Sorry its been so long since I've updated. Lotsa shit. So, without further ado, the second installment of...THE POST OF GREATNESS!!!

-Lordi- As you can tell by the renovation, I've become quite taken with this band. This Finland metal band looks like the love child of Slipknot, Classic horror movies, and your local fetish store. These dudes are badass!
-Jay and Silent Bob- Who else could wreck a game show (or at least attempt to), Have a comic and a movie made about them, help a descendent of Christ, and sell weed? Why, stoners from New Jersey, of course.
-Monster Energy- There has never been an energy drink that wound me up. I used to drink them because they tasted good. Then I found Monster. This shit got me so hyped, kids with A.D.D. looked at me funny. And all in 4 delicious flavors.
-Ozzy Osbourne- Just when we thought we were confined to our old Ozzy classics, We get our balls rocked off with the newest audio assualt, Black Rain. Kudos to Ozzy!
-Invader Zim- The genius of Jhonen Vasquez never ends, as shown in this wonderfully demented cartoon. I am forever changed by this animated masterpiece. The nearly poetic rants of the megalomaniacal Zim, as well as the delightfully random one-liners of GIR make me snicker. "But I neeeeed tacos! I need them or I will explode! That happens to me sometimes."
-Final Destination Series- I had the opportunity to see all three films in a row this past weekend. No movie made me swear as vehemently as these did. Just when you think their clear, a bloodbath insues. And the genius shines in the spontaniety of these deaths. "Drop fucking dead" then BASH! A bus, a fucking bus, comes out of nowhere, leveling this chick, and spazzing my sphincter.
-The Boogeyman- I watch wrestling with my dad. And this wrestler breaks the stereotype. Not only does this dude beat 7 different kinds of ass, this fucker freaks everyone out by eating live fucking worms, and feeding them to his hapless opponents, grossing out everyone, and making me laugh hysterically.

There you have it, more genius with which your lives gain value, Have Fun!
-SwordPsycho
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Friday, April 6, 2007

The post of GREATNESS!!!
This post is about everything that I find to be great. Not just cool, I mean the greatest shit ever conceived by a human being. The kind of "sent from god" shit.
-Dead Alive- For those of you who don't know this is an independent gore/comedy film from Peter Jackson. The same dude who did Lord of the Rings. This masterpiece includes: Zombies. Zombies scrogging. Zombies giving birth to little freaky mutant babies. Zombies getting hacked by a lawnmower strapped to a dude's chest. A strange zombie/Freudian rebirth. And a meat cleaver dance. Pure Comedic Genius.
-Beef Jerky- This one¡¦s pretty self explanatory.
-Alien loves Predator- I myself am a huge fan of the whole AVP series. So I had little faith for this web comic. How wrong I was. This follows the two horror icons in New York. Abe (the alien) is a filthy sex addict and Preston (the predator) usually provides the witty repartee. Check this out http://alienlovespredator.com
-Lacuna Coil- No, I repeat, No woman should be as sexy as Cristina Scabbia manages to be. This is God's gift to men. (And ill kill ANY blasphemer who dares to put an "H" in Cristina's name
-Sirachia Hot Sauce- Also known as "the Rooster" This shit makes Tabasco sauce look like moose piss. I suggest you put it on everything. And while enjoying the surface-of-the-sun temperature of your tounge, play "Rooster" by Alice in Chains.
-Nine Inch Nails- More specifically, Trent Reznor. This is the only man (still living) I might go gay for. This dude is the prime example of manliness. This guy could walk in a biker bar wearing a bright pink shirt, and have all the guys pissing themselves. But Reznor cant wear pink. The raw testosterone coursing through his veins would set the shirt ablaze in a glorious flame of manliness and Trent would still have time and energy to beat Chuck Norris' punk ass. Thats why Reznor wears black. Black = Badass, Manly, tough sonuvabitch.
The above is but a small slice of heaven that keeps me sane (kinda) If you dont know what these things are, acquaint yourself with greatness.

OBEY, FOOLS!
-SwordPsycho

P.S. 50 points to whoever knows what scrogging is.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Wow... just...wow...
Went to Jagermeister. It rocked BALLS! All the bands, all hot, loud and sweaty, and Cristina Scabbia...DAMN! The whole night was full of creamed wheaties. I got Lacuna Coil's autograph, and got Kit called a Badass by Cristina Scabbia. It rocked! The only bad thing was me getting to bed at 2 am and me waking up at 5:30. But it was all worth it.

L8r and Have Fun! (you know I did)
-SwordPsycho
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

ROCK ON!!
I am going to the Jagermeister Music Tour! A full night of mind-blowing, eardrum-shattering, ROCK! I get to see Stone Sour and LACUNA COIL! God, Cristina Scabbia is a fox...

Any way I'm bringing Kaatje, if she knew I was gonna see them, she'd kill me. And no, I'm not exaggerating; she'd mutilate my rotting corpse. By the way, Kit, gimme a call. I gotta talk to you about those tickets. I’ve just about got it worked out.

L8r and have fun (I definitely plan to.)
-SwordPsycho

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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

HELL YEAH!
I'm sittin at my computer at home, because MY SCHOOL GOT CANCELLED! And since I'm so happy, id figure id put up a little post. So, here it is!

L8r and Have fun! (I will!)
-SwordPsycho
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Monday, January 22, 2007

Hi All!
Well, i thought id update with something substantial. Had a bad ass weekend with Kaatje and Reoku's little uncles. We had Chunky Monkey milkshakes. damn, those were good. and we discussed random things. all of it perverted and laced with profuse vulgarities. Ah, good times, good times. thats all.

L8r and have fun!

OBEY FOOLS!
-SwordPsycho
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FUNNY RANDOM QUOTES!
I don't have a.d.d. it's just… Hey look! A squirrel!

YES, I know I need a haircut!

If I throw a stick, will you go away?

Don't blame me, my evil twin did it.

Stand back! I have a brain and I'm not afraid to use it!

Don't wake me, I'm sleepwalking

Books is good

I'm currently being distracted by a shiny object

Wit is educated insolence- Aristotle

You'd look better in a toe tag

All bleeding stops eventually

Let me drop everything to work on YOUR problem

How would you know if I was getting smart with you?

Back the fuck away, my meds have worn off & I'm feeling a tad psychotic

Don't eat yellow snow

My mind is wondering and I cant find it

How can I be old, I haven't grown up yet?

Dyslexics untie!

Life is 100 % fatal

History repeats itself. repeats itself. repeats itself.

I have schizophrenia and a handgun. Now, did you have something to say?

My kid knocked up your honor student

Normal people scare the hell out of me

The right to offend is far more important than the right not to be offended

I like Goths. They taste like chicken

Legally, its questionable. Morally, Disgusting. Personally, I like it.

This calls for a subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence

Am I right or am I left?

I'll just wait till you're not looking

Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic

I cant remember if I'm the good twin or the evil twin

Sometimes I find myself pondering… "what if the hokey pokey is what its all about?"

My life sucks- but the special effects kick ASS!

By reading this you have given me brief control over your mind

I don't know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to pronounce

Don't get mad, Get EVIL

Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time!

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while, I was the suspect.

When I snap, you'll be the first to go

I'm not fluent in idiot, so speak slowly to me

I don't need your attitude, i've got one of my own

Under house arrest (you didn't see me)

Trust me, I do this all the time

Your IQ test came back negative

And your crybaby, whiny ass opinion would be…?

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted

Do not annoy the crazy person

You know what your problem is? YOU'RE STUPID!

Jesus is coming... look busy.

Comfort the Disturbed. Disturb the Comfortable

Crawl back under the rock and wait for further instructions

Look Jesus! Its SATAN!

currently not responding to treatment

Huked on fonix reely wurkz fur me!

I can go along with anything, so long as we do it my way

I wish you were a piñata

My amnesia is gone…now I remember why I don't like you

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke off

I have imaginary friends in high places… like my head

Out of my mind… back in five minutes

Out of my mind... care to move in?

Multitasking: screwing several things up, at once!

I'm not ignoring you, you're just insignificant

I cant complain, but I still do

This is not the life I ordered

I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I cant stick my head that far up my ASS!

I know I'm not perfect, but I'm so close it scares me

That's MR. Asshole to you!

Sh_t The F_ck _p! All that's missing is you!

How about a nice tall glass of shut the fuck up!

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas

Parental Advisory: may offend the easily offended

Parental Advisory: Lock up your daughter

I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right

I get frisky when I drink whiskey

If I gave a shit, you'd be the first one id give it to

I limit myself to one drink a day. Right now, I'm 5 months ahead.

The worst day of my life again

Your brain has been cancelled due to a lack of intelligence

Girls love me, Parents fear me

Got any Indian in ya? Would ya like some?

I could be an asshole if I was nicer

Sex is like air: its not that important until you're not getting any

Hey you! Out of the gene pool!

If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you might be doing it wrong

I'm not drinking anymore. Then again, I'm not drinking any less

I'm not falling down drunk, I'm just accidentally horizontal

You've been a bad girl. Go to my room!

Screw me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?

I gave up drinking, smoking and sex. Worst 15 minutes of my life

I may be a cruel, heartless, son of a bitch, but damnit, I'm good at it

I'm not drunk, I'm chemically off balance

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time

Millions of battered women and in still eating mine plain?!

Drink before you think

Kinky as a cheap garden hose
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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

For my military friends.
This post is for all my friends joining the military. I want no doubt in anyone’s mind. Just because I hate this fucking war with a passion, it doesn’t mean I don’t support our troops. Our troops deserve the utmost respect. I’ll stomp the shit out of any bastard that says otherwise. With the war in Iraq, I know there’s no way in hell id join. But we still have those that will. My hat’s off to them.
My only problem with this war is the fact we are in the wrong fucking country. Since we are in Iraq, I won’t even sign the selective service papers. But the problem isn’t the troops. They feel they’re fighting for their country. That is the purest form of patriotism. Our problem is the people running the government. They are wasting the lives and efforts of people like my friends and look at it like some kind of god damned get-rich-quick scheme.
No one in this country is a virgin because the greedy bastards in office continue to fuck us. We are being rammed by the bureaucratic dick of the politicians. And, though we have the tools available to remove these cock suckers, we don’t. Why? I’ll tell you. Most people don’t want to inconvenience their comfortable little lives.
See, the tragedy here is the fact that our lives are being bent to the will of the government. It’s not dangerous to be a child; the elderly are not the ones with the most to lose. It’s our young and strong, who are in the most danger. And if we and the ones running things don’t wake up, we will lose our boys in uniform to a stupid, idiotic, moronic, dumbass, and bureaucratic, pissing contest.
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Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Doom, Doom, DOOM!
YAY! NEW CONGRESS!! Ya know what that means? I'll tell you. It means that our political system is no longer run by bureaucratic, simple minded retards. Alas, there is still bad news: its still being run by politicans. However, these new congress reps disagree with anything our president has to say. this includes this bullshit war. Technically, Congress hasnt declared war yet. This leads one to inquire: WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING THERE!?!? Alas, The answer is simple: Bush is a money-grubbing, simple minded, greedy, political whore. He wants one thing: oil. The very thing that made his daddy filthy rich.
If you disagree, I dont care.

On the lighter side of things, my New Year kicked absolute ass. My encounter with stupidity was nonexistant, and my cynical optimism thrives. Hope you all had fun

L8r!
-SwordPsycho

P.S. If I recieve hate mail about how "SwordPsycho, you're a liberal, pinko communist, and i hate u and blah blah blah" you will either be ignored or mercilessly ridiculed on this site. In sending me hate mail you relinquish all rights and privacy. There. My ass is covered.
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