Monday, January 1, 2007

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 'BOUT TIME!
happy new year, y'all. jesus christ, is it just me or did 2006 suck ass? I mean, im sure i wasnt the only one with a hard time. But with the war, the poverty level rising, gas prices rising, the ignorance of our government rising, 06 blew! But hey, thats the point, living through it, surviving it. hell, there were times i thought, "fuck it! but a bullet in a vital organ of mine and get it over with!" when there werent thoughts like that, i wanted to be impaired in some way. but i didnt. know why? because it couldnt get worse. if 06 was the lowest point in my life, in doin good then! granted, there are brain cells that will remember 06 and i want them DESTROYED!!

But while youre partying, celebrating the demise of the past year, be careful. 1) there are dumbasses that will do something stupid. theres no avoiding that. someone'll get shit faced and think "im not to drive to go drunking" and get behind the wheel. 2) never spend your live wanting the future here now. live for now. if you dont remember the past, and keep your head in the present. your future will pass you by.

holy shit that was deep...MAKE IT STOP! any way, have fun, be intelligent, and dont do anything i would do...

L8r!
-SwordPsycho
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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

I'm Back!
Sorry its been so long dince ive last updated. Good news, Though: The wonderful, pessimistic vulgar bastard you know has returned. Yes, my friends, my period of sorrow has ended. Since my last post, I have fully moved in to my new home, Gone to my first concert: The Music As A Weapon Tour, and turned 18! Now i can vote, pay taxes, serve jury duty, buy lotto tickets, and get drafted. Aint it cool?

More posts to come...

L8r and Have fun!
-SwordPsycho
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Thursday, October 12, 2006

No. More.
Unfortunately it seems as if i can do nothing but feel depressed, for this, i apologize. However, the malestrom does not cease. It seems, the minute, i let go of my grief of my uncle, The loss of my home and my niece cut deeper. Though we now reside in a bigger and better home than before, it feels cold. My old home had a warmth to which i had become accustomed. It felt like the only place that i could give the bird and say, "Fuck off and die" to the world. I had lived my childhood and adolescence in those rooms. It was that which i laid the foundation for my life upon. That foundation was taken from under me. Though it is hard to leave, pretending that nothings wrong is harder. To constantly wear a mask is trying. i am left to ask:
"What am i to do? Where am i to go? Where am i to find comfort?"

Apologies for the depression, all. As soon as i can pull my life into something resembling normalcy, will the profuse vulgarities and rants you have becomed accustomed to return. Until then, i still ask for rain.

-SwordPsycho
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Monday, September 25, 2006

My Surreal Reality
The days are passing with little to no regard to me or my family. I returned Friday morning from kentucky. My uncle's funeral was beautiful and honorable. But it still hurt. One of his boys, had Down Syndrome. When he cried he reminded me of one i lost long ago. My heart shattered. Another boy, whom had autism, ran up to me and threw himself into my arms and told me he missed his daddy. Though my pain runs deep, his children's tuns deeper. I hurt for them. My mother tries to remain busy to get past her grief. Dad tries to force himself to move on. My brain refuses to focus. This weekend i go to the caverns. I miss that place, and everyone there.
Thank you, Kaatje. You gave me so much last weekend. It helped me through the week. Thank you so very much. Thank you Squall Strife, for helping me through the present and school. Thanks to all. May your days be bright. As for me, I can only ask for rain, for no one can see your tears.

-SwordPsycho
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Monday, September 18, 2006

My Own Trail of Tears.
My uncle has passed today. He is to have a fireman's funeral with full honors. I have already let go of my accumulating grief. (Thanks to Pelewez, Pshewa, and Little Bird) I still haven't cried over his loss, though. But there will be a time for that as well. We leave for Kentucky either tonight or tomorrow.

May your thoughts be light and your hearts lighter.

-SwordPsycho
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Sunday, August 27, 2006

GOD DAMNIT, I FUCKING WANT TO KILL SOMEONE!
Sorry that its been so long since ive updated. life has found seven different ways to fuck me and my family over. Between my last update and now the following things have happened:
- We got evicted from our house because our landlady got conned into it by her evil, greedy little children.
- This is a touchy subject, but my slutty sister decided to cart her big ass away from my family and take her little girl with her. She was only supposed to be gone for a week. we find out a fucking month later she moved into a house fucking three states away and wont even let us speak to her daughter. the Skank lied to my parents and hurt them. if i ever see her again ill tell her a little story. Its from my boot. its called Kicking your ASS!
-worst of all, I am sitting in a motel in kentucky because my uncle Billy will soon die. My uncle is a great man, who has had a great life. He will die of health complications at the age of 40. He was a volunteer firefighter who loved what he did. he had two kids and adopted four more. he had this uncanny ability to make anyone laugh under any circumstances. Even now, in pain and sedated from medication, his sense of humor remains steadfast. people say i look like him.

Ive never wanted to cry so much in my life. But i cant. i have to remain strong and vigilant over my grandmother (i call her Mimmie) My Aunts and my mother. Mimmie cries when she sees pictures and talks of Billy. A 6'4" , 250 Lb man shrank to 5'11" and 175 Lbs. My aunt Stacy cried because billy is responsible for the path she walks. If Billy wasnt a firefighter, She wouldnt have become a paramedic. My mother hasnt cried much, but when its all over, she'll crumble.

I cant cry. I cant hurt. I cant grieve. even as i type these words i cant cry. If i do, no one will be able to help my family. Dad is still at home which does me no good and my grandfather (i call him Pap) who has been the strongest man ive ever known is beginning to fall.

All i want is to wrap my arms around someone, and have their arms around me. I want to lay my face in their shoulders and let it all bleed out. My home, my niece, my uncle, my grief, all of it. I want to cry and let it the fuck go.

Someone tell me its alright. Tell me i'm not alone.


I leave you with the words of my uncle when someone asked if they would wait for them in Heaven,

"I'd wait outside the gates for ya, but i'd probably get picked up for loitering."

-SwordPsycho
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Friday, June 16, 2006

A Little Rant
Today, I was watching the news and saw a car crash between a drunken teen and a sober teen. The sober one is in critical condition and the drunk is in jail, but is healthy. This got me thinking: Why is it that our generation continues to kill each other? The sober teen could be sitting in the hospital with a cast, or a severed spine, or maybe a few more hours to live. His entire existance becomes a testament to stupidity.

This comment will probably get a few people angry, however it is the truth. If you're stupid enough to drink and drive, youre stupid enough to get wrapped around a telephone pole. Ive told this to my dad, my sister, everyone.

Ok, thats all. If i ticked you off, sorry. But i dont regret a word of what ive said.
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Wednesday, June 7, 2006

   I NEED A FRIGGIN VACATION!
Question: Why, oh why, is murder illegal? So much stress and problems could be avoided in life and the world if we could just kill all the morons!

On an entirely different note, raise your hand if every time your parents get stressed, they freak out on you. You're probably wondering why i asked you to raise your hand, i dont really know why. Any way, why is it that we are constantly looked down upon merely because of our age? Even when our parents are wrong and we're right, we still are wrong in their eyes. What the hell?

Ok, im done with my little rant. I have nothing else to talk about.

L8r!

SwordPsycho
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Monday, May 15, 2006

Random Quotes
Since I have nothing to do in school Ill leave you with some random quotes. Most of these i found on t-shirts. Enjoy!

Funny Quotes

I Think, Therefore We Have Nothing In Common.

I’ll Try Being Nicer, If You Try Being Smarter.

This Is The Shirt I Wear When I Flat Don’t Give A Shit.

Im Not Very Smart, But I Can Lift Heavy Things.

Cant Talk Now
(The Squirrels Are Watching)

Heavily Medicated For Your Protection.

I Hear Voices, And They Don’t Like You.

Some Mornings Its Just Not Worth Chewing Through The Leather Straps.

One By One The Garden Gnomes Steal My Sanity.

Crazy Enough To Kill
(And Smart Enough To Get Away With It)

You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

Chaos, Panic, Disorder
(I See My Work Here Is Done)

Im Not Totally Useless! I Can Be Used As A Bad Example.

It’s A Shame Stupidity Isnt Painful.

Sarcasm: Only One Of The Services I Offer.

Do I Look Like A F$#king People Person?!

Hello. I See The Assassins Have Failed.

Fight Crime. Shoot Back.

Don’t Worry, It Only Seems Kinky The First Time.

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

Dip Me In Chocolate And Throw Me To The Lesbians!

Please Tell Your Boobs To Quit Staring At My Eyes.

Fat People Are Hard To Kidnap.

Bondage: Its Knot For Everyone.

Hello Officer
(Put It On My Tab)

My Penis Made Me Do It.

Never Knock On Heavens Door…Ring The Bell, Then Run
(He Hates That)

Don’t Think The Police Help? Next Time You’re In Trouble, Try Calling A Crackhead.

I Do Whatever The Voices In My Girlfriend’s Head Tell Me To Do.

Im Multi-Talented! (I Can Talk And Piss You Off At The Same Time)

Its All About The Pain
(The Ink and Jewelry Are Just Souvenirs)

They Said To Follow My Dreams… Too Bad They Were All Nightmares.

As I Walk Through The Valley In The Shadow Of Death I Shall Fear No Evil
(For I Am The Baddest Mother F#%$er In The Valley)



Insightful Quotes. some of These Make you laugh.
All Make You think

Don’t Judge Me Based On Your Ignorance.

Sometimes, “The Majority” Means All The Fools Are On The Same Side.

Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, It simply means you’re two steps ahead.

People too weak to follow their dreams will always find a way to discourage yours.

Conformity is the Disease. Rebellion is the Cure

It Only Takes A Single Voice To Start A Revolution. –Thorin

One Man Can Change The World… With Enough Ammunition

May God Have Mercy On My Enemies, Because I Sure As Hell Won’t.

Why Is There Enough Religion To Incite War, But Not Enough To Instill Peace?

It Is Better To Die On Your Feet Than To Live On Your Knees.

When Injustice Becomes Law, Rebellion Becomes Duty.

Trample The Weak, Hurdle The Dead.

Forgive Your Enemies… After They Are Slain.

It Is Better To Be An Open Sinner, Than A False Saint.

Don’t Analyze My Beliefs, And I Won’t Pick Out The Flaws In Yours.

You Tell Me That I Sin,
You Say I’m Bound For Hell.
So Once Your Judgment Condemns You,
I SHALL SEE YOU THERE.

Thats all for me. L8r and Have Fun!

SwordPsycho
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Quickie...(that sounded dirty)
Just a quick post and a Random Question:

What would you do for a dollar?
What would you do for 20 dollars?
What is the most outrageous thing you would do and how cheaply would you do it for?

Thats all. L8r!
SwordPsycho
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