myOtaku.com: Sakabato Samurai
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
my comedy routine. part 1
Great to be here, guys. They say high school is the best years of your life. I beg to di- what? That’s college? Oh thank god! I was worried there for a minute. Anyway, high school is tough. Especially in the romantic sense, right? Everyone gets their heart broke in high school. And if you don’t, well then you must stink or something. It’s hard enough for us normal guys, without that guy
Yeah, everyone knows “that guy” the dude who follows you around. The dude who doesn’t bathe. You could be sitting a table at lunch flirting with two lovely young ladies and what happens? “That guy” shows up. He’s totally decked out in clothes that are like 18 sizes too big with some rapper smoking on his shirt and his pants around his thighs. We have no idea how they stay there, but he doesn’t walk, he waddles. Anyway, so he waddles up and shouts “dawg, nice! Scorin’ whit the bizatches!” and that’s not me being censored for the stage, he’s just the one physically mature human being who still says bizatches. If you don’t “that guy” then you’re probably him.
How do you think the ladies react? Heh, heh heh…WRONG! No, they slap YOU. Women are crazy, fellas. We’re handicapped in arguments, so don’t even try to argue with one. See, we have this weird primal need to make sense. Say the girl you’re dating borrows your car and it returns with a dent. You say “hey. What happened to my car? Are you ok?”
“ARE YOU CALLING ME A BAD DRIVER?!”
“No, I’m just wondering what happened”
“You are calling me a bad driver! I bet you think I’m fat too!!”
What do you do in that scenario? Women have code too. I call them chick-isms. I’ve actually got a list here.
“That doesn’t bother me at all”= that really really bothers me
“She’s so pretty”= compliment me now. I feel threatened! (Now be careful here guys. It’s a trick question. Never agree with her on this one. Also, don’t let her know you know it’s a trick. That’ll really screw you)
“It’s not the size of the ship…”= if you don’t get this, then you’re “that guy”
“Does this make me look fat?”= I feel like fighting. (At this point, you’re done for)
“Everything’s fine”= everything’s not fine
“Everything’s not fine”= things are really fubar.
No = no
Maybe = no
Yes = …no
I love the emo’s. Oh, I’m sorry, “the non-conformists”. Gotta be PC…
Emo is like if Goth and punk had a baby, but both drank heavily during the pregnancy.
“Screw the man! We can drink during pregnancy if we want! REVOLUTION!”
And then Goth just takes another shot in the darkest corner of the room. I think emos are single handedly keeping hot topic in business. The tag on all they’re merchandise says “30 years of punk” yes…that’s why they have Norwegian black metal blasting out of the speakers right next to the “Foster’s home for imaginary friends” tee-shirts. Last time I checked, punks weren’t into care bears and naruto.
Emo’s are so funny though... “I bleed to know I’m alive….” That’s great. Get over the fact that your mom won’t call you “darkwolf von moonblood”, change out of your sister’s jeans, and go outside.” They remind of birds. Emo-watching is gonna be the next big thing. Turn on the TV, “crikey, I think I hear the call of the wild emo!” the camera zooms in on some kid weeping in the corner. Then another one enters the scene “right, emo’s are one of the few species in which the female is actually larger than the male. If she starts wiping away his mascara, it means she’s accepted his courtship ritual. “
Now, the dumbest thing I’ve seen is prep-core. These guys are basically emo’s with a preppy torso. They’ve got the $90 good charlotte haircut, inhumanly tight jeans (which already come with holes) and a bright blue Hollister polo shirt. You can’t traverse the halls here without spotting at least one.
The halls here are crazy, aren’t they? People running around, just flipping the bird to random passerby, the occasional fight, clusters in the intersections? Personally I’m surprised we haven’t started spilling over from the second story only the stairs. Have you ever been walking behind someone for so long because your headed the same direction, that you worry they’ll think you’re a stalker? “Ok, turn left, turn left…dammit!” then it turns out you have the same class, and you’ve never even seen her before? Just remember, in these halls, its only harassment if you brush them on purpose, and its only gay if you look ‘em in the eyes
Thanks, you guys have been great! If you liked the act, feel free to come find me! If not, leave me alone!
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Monday, February 11, 2008
shot down twice now. not the best track record
think this is the first weekend in a while that i've actually been able to recharge myself mentally. now i don't want to go to school . oh well, it must be done.
so a band moved into our cul de sac and it turns out they ROCK! i wanted to see if they had a lead singer, cause i hadn't heard any vocals. they didn't, so i asked if the wanted one. i showed them my stuff and i think they were pretty impressed. unfortunately, they weren't actually looking for a singer, they wanted a screamer. that is not in my expertise, and even if it was, its not my style, so i wouldn't do it.
i felt a bit gypped, but its so big loss, just puts me back a square. i'll find some people, i just have to stay persistent. maybe pull some more advertising tricks. classifieds, flyers, etc. i have a pretty good versatility. i sang bullet for my valentine, dragonforce, stone sour, rise against and my original work. i tried to cover all my bases from gritty to clean and symphonic and stuff. like i said, the only thing i can't sing is screaming. they wanted "job for a cowboy" style and thats just not me.
my thumb is better finally. now it pops occasionally. well, thats about it. later!
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Sunday, February 10, 2008
better now...i think
yup, im feeling better now. may or may not last tho. in rsponse to comments
thanks for your support everyone. altho i must say, i don't wish it was all over. some people may feel that way, tenshira, but i don't. also, bunraku. how can you call ME a prick with a comment like that?! sa far as arrogance goes, you have no right to talk to me about it.
anywho, i had a little party today for my birthday. i got some cards and used the money in them to buy CDs and manga. i'll call and say thanks to grandma and auntie anne tomorrow. i'll be 17 on tuesday. ^__^ YAY! i'm planning on switching jobs one that happens. also yay! yup, thats aboutit for today. later!
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Saturday, February 9, 2008
everything seems so damn grating....
i hate people right now....the world is full of idiots who don't know they're head fom their ass!i'm sick of edealing with idiotic teenagers all fucking day, so when i go to wrkmi get to deal with idiotic adults! and the ones that aren't idiotic are either psyco or or controling megalomaniacs. i can't wait till spring break where i can take some time off and just get back in touch with myself...maybe take a road trip on my own. meet some new people and shit.
*sigh* ever get the feeling your life totally sucks? im amediocre student with a mediocre job in a dead end town in a nation with a dying economy and social structure. no one respects me. not students, not tachers, not regular people, not even my 11 year old fucking sister! all my talents are useless right now due to my age and financial situation. no one wants me to sing in a band because i can't play bar shows legally in idaho. i can't be writer becaause all my time is going to school. martial arts is just a hobby right now. i can't win any money at tournaments in this particular style. i don't even know if i can hold my own in a fight. i never get a chance! the only times people fuck with me is in the middle of class. and they're fucking stupid about it too! i can't guage my real world fighting ability in sparring either, because im sparring black belts and full grown adults. plus, the most effective shots arent allowed!stupid legal issues...i guess i should be glad, because otherwise i'd get my face pummeled and my legs sweeped. i just wish someone would pick an actual fight with me. not just say "wanna fight?" and back down when i say yes. its against my principls to throw first, but i sure as hell bait people. no one ever takes it. ...
maybe im just being emo today. i don't know. i'll probley feel better if i get to shoot shit to pieces tomorrow. it may happen to, depending on the weather.
anywho, thats all i got. i'm gonna hop in the shower, then go lay in bed and stare at the cieling contemplating how much it sucks being broke. i suppose i always get restless this time of year. it lasts till summer and and by finals week, im on the verge of a fucking break down. i don't know if i'll make it. this knda shit doesn't usually start happeneing till march or april...
(10 minutes later) GOD DAMN IT! my computer is totally fucked!! i can't even post comments!!! is this just me?
Comments (4) |
Thursday, February 7, 2008
what is the mood of this post? you decide!
good god, im exactly 1 week away from 17 and i'm getting army recruitment mail! hahaha, its kinda funny when you recruiter mail before birthday cards. i must say, thats priceless.
any who...i've been weird lately. its almost manic depressive behavior. i occasionally find myself just pissed off...my tolerance level for the morons that inhabit high school is waaaaay down. and other times i'll get kinda giggly or something like that. almost like i'm high or drunk or something. its just weird...i've got this acute sense of paranoia going as well...
but anyway...i downloaded lemmings and i think something got in my computer with it, cause its freaking out. kinda irritating. welp, thats all ah gots. see ya'll later. (no, i don't actually talk like this...)
oh, and i decided that everyone gets to ask me questions now!
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Wednesday, January 30, 2008
teaser trailer for the story!
not much happening. its snowing outside. alot. i put a new photo of myself up. as you can see i dyed my hair and ear-fur. i wonder what thats called...i'll have to ask someone who might know. since thats all thats going on...STORY TIME!
The sound of screams and the scent of blood penetrate the infant's senses, stirring him from his sleep. As he returns to consciousness, he becomes aware of the ragged panting as she runs through the cobbled streets. Once elegant and earthy, they are now blood-slick and reflect the yellow glow of the burning homes around them. A flaming beam collapses onto the pathway from a smoldering house. Without slowing her break-neck sprint, the woman nimbly dodged to the side, landing lightly so as not to disturb her child. .
The boy sleepily notices that the sweet scent of his mother's hair is now mingled with that of smoke. It's unfamiliar. Confused, he begins to cry. Without stopping, the woman tries to hush her baby. He doesn't bawl, but instead coos and whines nervously.
Finally she spots her destination. Huge, ornate stone doors loom closer. She increases her already inhuman pace. She reaches the doors and pushes them open with the kind of strength only a desperate mother can possess.
The room is cavernous, cool and torch-lit. Inside is a round stone table. She lays the boy gently down in an indentation at the center. Around it, extending to the edges is an intricate pattern of grooves, weaving in and out of each other like a loose tapestry. At once the child feels the stone pulsate like a heartbeat. He's quiet now. The mother lights seven candles around the circle and begins to chant. As she mutters in an unfamiliar language, a pounding comes at the stone doors. She registers its presence, but does not react. She draws a knife, forged of some strange metal, from her robe and waves it back and forth like a dancer. She chants louder now. The left door caves in and a swarm of men floods though the gap. The leader, his sword drawn and his green eyes reflecting the torch-light, bears down on the woman.
"Taste hellfire, demon!" he shouts triumphantly. She turns. The steel blade cleaves into her chest, cracking bone, severing arteries and puncturing her heart. She falls silently. The child bawls as her lifeblood washes over him. It fills the grooves in the table. The stone pulsates again, this time giving off a blue-green light. Only six candles remain lit. The man with a green eyes reaches for the boy, holding the woman's ceremonial blade. He leans on close, so the boy sees his face. A bolt of black lightning touches down.
Imaku Kazemaru sat bolt upright in his make-shift bed. His hair was damp with sweat. His electric blue eyes pierced the darkness with an eerie luminescence as he peered around the room. He stood up. His wolf-like ears folded back against his raven's-beak black hair as he yawned.
"Ugh, not again," he grumbled. He grabbed his furry tail with one hand and brought it up around to his front. He played and pawed at it in a nervous habit. He walked into the kitchen to see if his roommate, Kaji, was still up.
see, are you glad you hung in there till the end?
now remember folks, that was just a teaser. i don't have enough to start posting it regularly yet.
Comments (2) |
Sunday, January 27, 2008
i don't wana go to work today. it just seems like a waste of day.we may go bowling afterwards. for those who didnt hear, i got a myspace. its myspace.com/kakeru_yoshi for those who are blind or deaf, i put up a playlist. this is the kind of music i like ^__^ anywho, i gotta go and eat so i can leave. later.
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Saturday, January 26, 2008
myspace...oh the hypocracy
just finished messing with my myspace.(seems a little redundant) i got a background up and stuff. the editor freaked out and i kept having to adjust the size of the image. i added to my details, blah blah.
i also spent a few hours just looking up people i know to see if the had a myspace. i then realized that that was much too tedious, so just asked everyone.
i stayed home from school because i was a pussy and didnt feel like risking my life on icey roads just so that the school could earn a few more bucks. it didnt get above freezing, and they don't bother to plow the orads i take. i slept till 1, which was great.
the picture i have is one i made a year or so ago. it looks pretty cheesy, and its outdated, so im probably gonna remake it later.
alright, thats about it, so i'm gonna cut this off and go to bed, cause i have to work at 10 tomorrow. or is it technically today now? who cares, i want sleep.
holy shit, myspace has a lot of mood choices. i feel obligated to go through them all.
if you want to see it, its myspace.com/kakeru_yoshi
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Monday, January 21, 2008
HA! no hangovers!
i wasnt hungover yesterday. i was kinda out of it tho...my dad didnt know about it till after the fact. i snaked every single one of those. he offered me one, and thought i was nursing it the whole night.
i went to see cloverfield yesterday. i didnt like it. the concept and effects were phenomenal, but the camera was too crazy. it was from 1st person camera view the whole time. it gave my dad an anxiety attack or something and made me kinda sick to my stomach. which is weird, because i love rolercoasters and simulation rides and stuff and don't get motionsick. it was pretty gorey for a rated pg-13 too.
today im back to 100 percent and don't have school because of MLK day. i'm probly gonna buy some new binders and supplies for the semester. mostly just dollar store of something.
also, i forgot to mention it last time because i was drunk, BUT I GOT MY BLACK BELT! FUCK YEAH@
thats about it. see ya later!
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Sunday, January 20, 2008
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heh, i'm kinda drunk right now. i had a couple drinks of almost straight whiskey (like maybe 4) not shots, but like drinks from a cup. i also had 3 and half saint paulie girls and a michilobe ultra. that tasted like water. i also am working on my third glass of water. i'm feeling more sober now, but for a while i was pretty blitzed. my dad rated me on a scale from one to ten as a 7.
thats about it in my world right now. thanks, kitabug, for posting my part of the story ^__^
now i'm gonna finish my water, and go to bed because it it's after midnight and i have to work at 10 tomorrow. gnight all.
oh, and this is my first time being drunk. also, i just typed this while i thought it.
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