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myOtaku.com: Purgatory

Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.

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Sunday, September 21, 2008


It's almost been a year...
and I still love you.
I wish I didn't.
God how I wish I didn't.

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Tuesday, May 27, 2008


College is hard T_T
I'm tired.
And this work is tiring.
And boring.
And I'm horny. And I'm fat.
And blargh.
>3<

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Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Dudes.
I need to redo my site.
Again.
And I've been gone for so long. I'm actually on here everyday. But I never really do anything.
So an update?
Okay here goes.
After 1 year and 3 months of dating, Andrew and I called it off last night. But it's cool. It was for the best. I hope. Too many issues. Too big of an age gap? Possible. Him being condescending? Very possible. Him mocking me and blowing up over everything? More likely than you'd think.
Although he was a good man (kid?), and I do still in a sense love him, it was a dwindling love. I hope we can stay friends. Maybe if we ever worked past things, we could get back together. I don't know.
I'm still staying with his grandmother who stated that I didn't have to be dating him to live with her. But you know things are awkward I guess. I want to hightail it out of here, not that I dislike anyone or anything. It's just all the memories are kinda painful.
?_?
In other news....
College is fast approaching. yay? I guess. I'm pretty unmotivated, but I'll get over it. Cold feet and just not sure what to do with life anymore.
What about you guys? I miss talking to the few of you here. I have MSN and AIM and Myspace if you'd like to talk through that. I'll try to keep up with myotaku better and I've been meaning to update, maybe even get some art up here.
So, in the process of trying to look for something to hang onto, something fun, I found that I really love the smell of hand sanitizer....
>:3

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Monday, March 17, 2008


People who write...
like this person does:
http://www.theotaku.com/worlds/drowsypills/
Totally make me vomit as to what this site has become.
Otherwise, I get pictures from the zoo! <3~
And maybe I should start keeping this thing more regular like I did, 3 years ago.
God...kids today...writing their bullshit and calling it "witty".
:/

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Monday, February 25, 2008


GAH.
I know I'm terrible.
I haven't even taken those pictures yet, but I know no one is waiting on them XD
Anyways, I have a Gaia account now. ;3
If anyone wants the screen name it's ToxicNoxicCandy
<3
So addd me biznatches XD

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Thursday, February 14, 2008


One Last Chance.
If this isn't it.
I'm probably going to stop posting for good.
Because, I feel badly for always saying, I'll be here frequently and never doing what I say.
As always, I will check this thing, probably daily, for another reason, so fret not, I'll still comment when I can.
Other than that.
I'm thinking about gathering my ballsy-ness and going to major in art.. As some of you might know, risk is not my high point, but I think I might be able to do this. I've gotten a ton of encouragement on the idea of learning to sew and becoming a fashion designer. I just need more work on my proportions personally, and just a way to keep my "vision" from fleeing. I figured out there's a lot of things I need to work on, but I'm going to try it out. Learning to sew, is going to be the toughest thing for me. I actually already know how to sew a little by hand, and how to use a sewing machine, but my work comes out slightly messy. The blanket I made was one of the better things I've made with a machine, and a slight bit of hand sewing, but it's honestly probably the biggest thing I've made, other than these little miniature puffy stuffed creatures, that I made friends in Home Ec.
So, I might post some of my designs here, but they won't be very good quality, since I'll be taking a picture of them. <3 But bleh...
Anyways, otherwise, Chara is ignoring me. I guess it makes me feel like shit in a sense.
But fuck it I guess. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough or she's really busy...

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Sunday, January 27, 2008


Nyar.....
I got a new camera.
Which means if you're on my myspace you can now see how terrible I look.
Or maybe I'll pictures here.
Shiyu hates me.
Erm...I'm going to write that final letter to Casey, when I get around to being emotionally stable enough.
:/
I promise posts of glory, but they're always filled with fail.
But anyways I'll write something constructive.
Someday.
Other than that.
My friend Angela is Malcom X and I'm Martin Luther King Jr. OWO
Don't ask srsly.

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Tuesday, January 15, 2008


Mourning.
I think I might do a post about one of my best friends that passed away.
And no it's not Kuronekosama. She's just never online probably because of work 0_o
I don't know how to get over things. >.>

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Thursday, January 10, 2008


My brain is filled with puss.
No one reads this.
I should just stop posting.

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Tuesday, January 8, 2008


kjgkngjng!
Har.
Playlist:
"Heaven And Weak"-Maudlin Of The Well
"Knights Of Cydonia"-Muse
"Emily"-From First To Last
"Learn To Fly"-Pink Floyd
"Terminal Frost"-Pink Floyd
"C"-Dir En Grey
"Inner Universe"-Origa
Blaharhar.
Like anyone gives a fuck what my playlist is.
Anyways I'm overwhelmed and stressed.
So fuck you kids who just now are getting into Deathnote. And thanks Chara for getting me into like two years ago, I think...or earlier last year. Can't remember. Think it was two years ago though. The anime came out last year, I'm pretty sure, but the manga has been out since forever and a day. And I still have yet to read the ending, I'm keeping myself in suspense, although I know where to find it.
Talking to my Vocational Rehabilitation lady, made me realize just how controlling my boyfriend's mother is.
I know they're helping me and everything, but fuck.
I just want to take two or three Geodone and see what happens.
I'd probably be frothing at the mouth from 2 40s and a 60.
It would make me sleep though.
Or maybe I'll just go read some more of Pet Sematary.
Contrary to the rest of the world, it's a lovely, balmy day out, windy too, possibly a storm coming which makes me so happy.
Am I fucking emotionless right now?
Why yes. Yes I am.
:B
Score one for Schizophrenia. Which will take my being over inevitably , so why fight it anymore?
It's not worth it.
I'm not ready to grow up.
I'm not.
I want the few years of childhood I had back.
Oh and I hope you do use this site some moar Chelsea...I miss yous. D:

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