Holy shit it's been a long time since I've posted a decent sized blog. Just thought I'd come back for a moment to give a little update about how college life has been treating and to update about all of the mishaps in life.
This isn't much of a happy blog considering my overall mood today, so don't let me drag you down. :/
The good news...
I'm in college, yay. My parents don't seem too proud about the ordeal, but they never seem to be proud of anything I do anyway. Yeah, it used to bother me until I basically stopped giving a shit about it.
My grades are alright and I've been working hard to stay motivated about the whole thing. Hopefully I'll be able to reach my goal of getting a Masters in Psychology.
Most of the bad news...
I've entered my third year of being sinlge and that just isn't cutting it for me. I've never been known to be one to go without a relationship for so long, but for some reason things just aren't the same anymore.
I feel like something's been holding me back from getting to know some pretty cool people. I know some people are in their twenties and probably have never had a significant other and I'm not ignorant of this... but understand my point of views here.
I've always been one to have a boyfriend one way or another. From Anthony to Benny to Nick to Robert to Packy to Sean to Ian...
I was used to having people that cared for and loved me dearly and that's been missing in my life for three entire years.
Yeah, yeah.... "I've been single for twenty-blahblah years, hoe!"
I don't care.
If you can't understand how I'm feeling and if you can't overlook your own opinion to step into my shoes for a moment, you are truly ignorant.
Yes, this whole thing has thrown me into quite the depressive state of mind. After a while, I start to wonder what's wrong with me and what keeps me from getting into another relationship or what's keeping me from meeting cool guys.
Here's the list I've conjured up:
1. Obviously I'm a bitch.
2. I'm too bold for men to handle.
3. I'm not attractive enough.
4. I'm not friendly enough.
5. Maybe I don't show enough skin.
6. I'm too picky.
7. So much more...
I always get comments like,
"You're too pretty and cute to be single!"
... Obviously not.
"Just go out and meet someone!"
... Yeah, I'm pretty convinced that if I go out, I'll get a stalker or meet someone who has a girlfriend.
"Just wait. You'll meet someone."
.. Haha. How long will this take?
"I'd date you."
But you don't live in San Antonio, do you? :/
I feel like I have to move to another city to get someone interested in dating me where the feeling's mutual between us.
Don't get me wrong... I know I'm picky.
Through the years I've tried dating so many people and, it's unfortunate, I've broken many hearts with my rejecting them. About 90% of them managed to move on, though.
Onto another bit of news...
I still don't have a job.
I need one.
I've applied to so many places and have gotten no call backs. Any interviews I got... I was never called back.
I find that these days you have to have work experience to get hired in even the easiest of jobs. How the hell does that work? If I need work experience to get hired, how the HELL will I EVER get a job?!
Yeah, I've lost a lot of friends over the summer because I decided to cut back on the drama intake. I feel a bit better now, but one thing still gets me..
I can't help but miss the old days.
There ya go. I've made my update and I'll be back around Thanksgiving to give another blog.
The next one will be a hell of a lot more cheerful.
Thanks for putting up with my shit.
'Til next time.