Thursday, April 12, 2007
so yeah im nervouse
well i started hanging out with a friend of mine and i just met this person over spring break and it has been 2 weeks and im starting to fall in with love... but i know thi sperson liks me back but im so not sure yet if its a weird thing to do we dont go to the same school bti soon this person will and i have fun around this person so its great and i never felt like thois before wonder what i should do should i just fallow my heart and see what it will take me.. i wonder if we migth be together and i wonder what people would think.. that part scares me realy is it true there willl be people looking at you becuase your a diffrent couple around here...
by the way i love this person and it is a she... so what if it is i know she is bi as well wonder if it would work out do you think on that..
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
what it feels like...
lets just pertend, its what im good at.. i cant even speak face to face. it what im not good at i cant write i can type better then writing it on a paper. i wish i must just be in this dark room with this screen in my face that would be my work, i lisen to emo music to just think the way that im feeling. when im not even there dont worry im there all you need is me in your heart. i can do this anymore. im not this person who wants to meet up and do things, it feels like im just guna walk off and make a new life like i always do every two years passing by ending it and makking up a new life, im feel like i was never planning on do stay my life like this right after this is all over i just want to fall apart and go on with the truth thats been hidding in me for two years. itsgiving me with draws i wonder whats guna happen from a year from now. im falling in love but it feels like im guna let my body go and make my self nervouse with this hidding thats in my self, im afird of many things that you wont never know. i will alays love you no matter what but my heart will fail soon.. i cant conrol it it feels like you cant never let go i can let go i need this but i know i dont deserve it at all its not right. i cant sleep im to nervouse from these with daws thats guna hunt me for life. what have i done i cant handel it its giving me bad with daws mostly at night when i dream on what will happend in a year from now. if only you would take me for this real person behin the mirror. i wana run away change my name and age and everything just so no one will find me.