Wednesday, October 22, 2003

What in hell.
Current Music Ghostchant by Poison The Well
Current Mood: Morose

Why the hell did the trend on OB suddenly turn to random, inane topics in the lounge? Some 12 year old is bitching because his teachers cuss?

What? When he gets to collage he will piss his pants at the stuff he hears, especially if he gets a liberal- or even worse, me.

That is just stupid babble from an uninformed kid who needs to get out more often.

Also.

I miss talking to you, Tori. :P
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Sunday, October 19, 2003

Damn.
The role playing games I am currently enlisted in are dieing. I am putting forth the effort and posting, but.

It just seems like it has died. The it that was there. The charisma, the chemical reactions between people. The clashes of wit, the ideas, the dreams.

The things that everyone put together to form a rpg.

I have had my share of successes, but alot of failures. I admit that I really do.. miss those times. The people. It was like a comptetion to me, a fun one- you tryed to be as creative and make it flow as much as the next person, the mixture of the aforementioned charisma, imagination and writing ability make it a dance between people.

A dance that cannot be done by one person.

I miss Anti's rpg posts, Rico's. Gold_Angewomon's.

Oh where has my old rping clique gone? It has left the lone knight amongst the ruins of a tattered forum that is a mere glimpse of it's former glory and passion.

What a sad day it is.
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Quiz Day.
Current Music: Ghostchant by Poison The Well
Current Mood: -_-


What's Your Outlook on Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

I find that to be accurate.

Especially, unfortunately, the tact part. lol.


You are Form 5, Dragon: The Weaver.

"And The Dragon seperated the virtuous from
the sinful. He tore his eyes from his sockets
and used them to peer into the souls of those
on trial to make a judgement. He knew that
with endless knowledge came endless
responsibility."

Some examples of the Dragon Form are Athena
(Greek), St. Peter (Christian), and Surya
(Indian).
The Dragon is associated with the concept of
intelligence, the number 5, and the element of
wood.
His sign is the crescent moon.

As a member of Form 5, you are an intelligent and
wise individual. You weigh options by looking
at how logical they are and you know that while
there may not always be a right or wrong
choice, there is always a logical one. People
may say you are too indecisive, but it's only
because you want to do what's right. Dragons
are the best friends to have because they're
willing to learn.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


YOU ARE A DEMOCRAT. You believe in noble causes,
such as the right to choose and the need to
help out the poor, both here and abroad. And
to think, such good-hearted souls can be
whipped around by a Texas redneck....


What political party do you belong to?
brought to you by Quizilla


You'd turn into a lone wolf! Like a lone wolf you
can coup perfectly well by yourself and do not
feel the need for others company. However like
a wolf you were once part of a pack and you can
tolerate and get along okay with people when
met with them. You are protective and loyal to
the close friends you have but, will always be
a true loner at heart


What animal would you turn into?
brought to you by Quizilla


YOU ARE ETHER!

Well, well... you are the mysterious Fifth Element!
The Fifth Element, Ether, is used or conjured
in many ancient religions or magics, but is not
something found on this plane. Those that have
been able to make the ascension to the Ether
are truly evolved people, possessed with
heightened senses of intelligence, perception,
and empathy that others simply don't have.
Everyday possessions aren't of much interest -
you are beyond that. You tend to gravitate to
open spaces, changing environments, and won't
saddle yourself with one style or decision.
Indeed, just one type of career isn't of
interest to you either, as your need to
constantly continue evolving and growing won't
allow you to settle down. Sadly, this need may
also impact your social life as well. You tend
to have few friends as not many people
understand you, and fewer relationships because
you simply outgrow them.

Don't be discouraged by this, though. You are truly
one of the unique, for very few people have
been able to achieve this type of
enlightenment. Be proud and use your knowledge
and experiences to teach and help others as
much as you can. Good luck and congratulations!

Now that you have an idea of your strengths and
weaknesses, why don't you put them to the test?
If you follow my lead I can take you to a game
world where you can explore different sides of
yourself and taste real power. Just follow my
lead, enter a name...

...and all
the world can be yours.


Which of the 5 Prime Elements are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Rate Your Cuteness!
brought to you by Quizilla

Why the fuck did I take that test. I feel the ickyness of the hyper teenage girl who wrote those questions dripping slowly off my eyes, goddamn.

Whats Your Embarrasing Pet Name by floratia
Username
In a Relationship
Name	Huggy Bear
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

"...."

*moves on to the sailor moon quiz*



She is the best Sailor Scout and the most prettyful. I lurve her. :D

Anyone who says otherwise will be relocated to slave camps in the heart of Siberia, or executed on the spot. -_<

Are you a God? by Demonac
Name:
God/Goddess type:	God of Law
Worshippers:	Proletarians
They show devotion by:	LARPing
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Your element is Water. You are a deep person and a
good communicator. Incredibably loving and
loyal when your trust is gained and you are
fairly mature.Myterious to the utmost water is
in everything. One can be an Ocean or a river
but nobody truly knows you.


What's your element
brought to you by Quizilla


Good stuff, you are "Wedding? I love
weddings! Drinks all around." You're the
life of the party and nothing gets you down,
not even certain death at the hands of your
zombie nemesis or the Navy. Come to think of
it, realism isn't your strong suit...


Which one of Captain Jack Sparrow's bizarre sayings from Pirates of the Caribbean are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Rum. >.o


Crimson Wraith, the sixth class of vampire. You
stand for violence and ruthlessness. Your
servants are little to none, because you'd
rather kill them. Your powers are a high
staminal psychosis streak, and a nose for
unshed blood. You cannot help yourself from the
feed. Your name serves you well.


What class of vampire are you? (some new images)
brought to you by Quizilla

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Saturday, October 18, 2003

Woops. :o
Last night when I was really pissed off, I had to go to the restroom. Now, to get to my restroom, you have to go through two doors- one into a long hallway that leads to a good number of rooms and the actual door into the bathroom.

I kneed the door to the hallway pretty easy actually- it hurt my knee a bit, but I was pissed off and could care less. Did my business came back out and sat down at my computer, chatted a bit did the usual shit.

When I had to go get something from my room I noticed there was a large crushed part of the door- maybe 6 inches or so in diameter. Now, I couldn't very well tell my mother that I kneed the door in while enroute to the bathroom because I was pissed off.

So I lied.

There is a large, steel ladder near the door that was left there after the repainting and redecoration of my room. I set up the ladder to appear like I had moved it away, and went to tell my mother.

The idea in this is that if you have nothing to hide or did nothing wrong, why wouldn't you tell? This idea should work in many situations, and has worked in many situations where people trust you.

I told her about the ladder falling, etc. and she belevied it. She patched up the door last night. Now she just needs to sand down and paint that part.

Too bad anger management never worked for me, lol.
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Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Hm.
I am tired. Mowed the lawn. Muffler came off. Loud lawn mower was painful. Flame came out of muffler, Ken felt it.

Ken go rest now.
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Monday, October 13, 2003

*writes*
Of Superpowers and Sucessors to America

I have come to believe that the next superpower on Earth will actually be Communist [Or otherwise] China. If you take a look at the Gross Domestic Product [The total market value of all the goods and services produced within the borders of a nation during a specified period], I think that figures indicate that it quadrupled in the year 2000- moving it up to second to only the United States of America.

Now, China does have alot of problems. It will take a very smart leader to turn it into a superpower- if that comes or not, I cannot judge. But China does have the means to become a superpower- it is obvious just from that great increase in GDP.

One has to realize how Communist China came into being. It started in 1921 in Shanghai. One of the driving factors was Nationalism- China had been under the shadow of Western powers for a long time now, and they felt the need to demonstrate that China could stand on its own- to prove itself.

Russia was their inspiration. Like China, primarily agricultural country with an oppressive imperial system, had been unsuccessful at democratization, and had lived in the shadow of the dominant West. Yet Russia had turned to socialism and had quickly modernized and become a feared world power. The Chinese connected with Lenin’s ideas on the 'evils' of Western imperialism, which further confirmed their belief that socialism could be their best option for a successful government in China. Thus, the Chinese Communist Party was born. Between 1926 and 1949 the Communists under the leadership of Mao Zedong and the Nationalists under Chiang Kai-shek vied for the upper hand and control of the country and engaged in a bloody civil war in 1945-49, with Mao declaring that "political power grows out of the barrel of a gun."

It turns out that Mao's gurellia tactics and popularity won out over Chiang's military power and unpopularity.

Alright. Alot of things happened from then to now, and I do not want to type all of them out for you. Read it yourself if you want to.

Basically China has, over the last half century- A.) Figured out that the Russian Socialist system cannot work efficently in China, and needed to be tweaked. B.) Survived the Tiananmen Square incident. C.) Have made Socialism evolve for China instead of China evolving for Socialism.

With this said, I cannot be totally sure about this. As early stated, it would be a difficult path.

But there have been stranger things.

Like, 13 North American colonies splitting off from a major world power, surviving a civil war and turning into the largest superpower in the modern world.

I am sure people all over the place were predicting that in the 1780's. ;P

FYI: There are only five communist countries left on Earth. Laos, Vietnam, China, Cuba and North Korea. However, some African Countries border on Anarchy-Communism/Socialism.
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Sunday, October 12, 2003

Haha!
What luck!

I went to Ingram Park Mall today, shifting quietly through varied crowds- dodgeing the parents with strollers, slideing through the prep cliques, sarcastically skipping merrily past the goths and all that great stuff.

I approached Electronics Boutique to acquire a new role playing game to bide my time. I approached the section of their store that is windowed- where they store their rare PS1 games.

I skimmed through the stereotypical titles- the Final Fantasy 8 stack, the Legend of the Dragoons stack and the Legand of Legaia stack. Suddenly, there before my eyes was the prize that I had been searching for for months.

Suikoden 1.

Yes, Suikoden 1.

I would love to know of someone who reads this thing to appreciate the greatness of this series other than me, but I hold no high bar since most Americans could care less about this series which is undoubtablely better than any Final Fantasy I have played, or Chrono Cross, or anything.

Yes. I purchased this gem and clocked in 7 hours and 45 minutes on it.

And I give it two thumbs up.

Other than that, I purchased the Kovenant CD. It is pretty good- I still prefer Strapping Young Lad and the like, but a good Trance+Metal CD never hurts.

A Survey.

LAYER 1
-- Name: Kenneth Andrew Howell.
-- Birth date: August the 10th, 1988.
-- Birthplace: San Antonio, Texas.
-- Current Location: San Antonio, Texas.
-- Eye: Brown.
-- Hair: Dark Brown/Black.
-- Height: 6'3.
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty.
-- Zodiac Sign: Leo.
LAYER TWO
-- Your heritage: Mexican, Indian, German and possibly African American.
-- Your weakness: "I think we all should focus on our strengths" or some pseudo-optimistic bullshit like that. o.o
-- Your shoes you wore today: Beat up white sneakers.
-- Your fears: Becoming obsolete.
-- Your perfect pizza: Mushroom.
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Travelling the world.
LAYER THREE
-- Your thoughts first waking up: "... argh."
-- Your best physical feature: My hair.
-- Your bedtime: No set one.
-- Your most missed memory: My sister.
LAYER FOUR
-- Pepsi or Coke: Coke.
-- McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's sucks less than Burger King, somehow.
-- Single or group dates: Single.
-- Adidas or Nike: Adidas.
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton you fuckers. >.o
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee.
LAYER FIVE
-- Smoke: Yes.
-- Cuss: Absolutely not. What do you take me for?
-- Sing: Yeap. Pretty good too.
-- Take a shower everyday: Depends.
-- Have a crush: Yes.
-- Do you think you've been in love: Yes.
-- Want to go to college: Yes.
-- Want to get married: No. It is too religious and patriarchal for me to remotely tolerate stepping down into.
-- Believe in yourself: Yes.
-- Get motion sickness: No.
-- Think you're attractive: No.
-- Think you're a health freak: No.
-- Get along with your parents: No.
-- Like thunderstorms: Yes.
-- Play an instrument: Yes.
LAYER 6:
-- Gone to the mall?: Rumor says I might.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreo: No.
-- Eaten sushi: Yes.
-- Been on stage: Yes.
-- Gone skating: Yes.
-- Made homemade cookies: Yes.
-- Gone skinny dipping: Yes.
-- Dyed your hair: No.
-- Stolen anything: Yes.
LAYER SEVEN:
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes.
-- Been called a tease: No.
-- Gotten beaten up: Yes.
LAYER EIGHT
-- Age you hope to be married: Hehe.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2 girls and a guy I think. Names vary on my mood.
-- Describe your dream wedding: Hehehe.
-- How do you want to die: Taking a bullet for someone.
-- Where you want to go to college: UTSA.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: History Professor, Military Tactician, Stand Up Comedian.
-- What country would you most like to visit: Russia.
LAYER NINE:
-- Best eye color: Green.
-- Best hair color: Red.
-- Short or long hair: Long.
-- Height: 5'7.
-- Best weight: 110.
-- Best articles of clothing: Trenchcoats.
-- Best first date location: Resturant.
-- Best first kiss location: Your bedroom. The paths from there on become much more interesting.
LAYER TEN
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 5-6 I think.
-- Number of CDs that I own: Upwards of 100.
-- Number of piercings: 0.
-- Number of tattoos: 0.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Twice.
-- Number of scars on my body: ...
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: 11, actually. Nothing major or dramatic, lol. Just petty little things that could have helped out alot in the long run.

G'night, my friends. Intill we cross paths again.
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Friday, October 10, 2003

Kenneth the Apostate.
Current Music: Killing In The Name by Rage Against The Machine.
Current Mood: Relieved and peeved.

My father asked me to come with him earlier this evening to get some hamburgers from Sonic for supper.

On our way there, we had a discussion.

Father: So, you aren't going to anymore meetings?
Ken: Not really. I can't find myself agreeing with everything Jehovah's Witnesses say.
Father: I see. What things do you disagree with?
Ken: Many things. For one, I disagree with what they think about homosexuals.

*silence*

Ken: I think that you should tolerate one's sexual preferance, and that if a human could do that, then surely a 'merciful' God could do the same.
Dad: Are you a homosexual?
Ken: No. I just feel that judgeing someone by their sexual preference is sort of like racism.
Dad: Yes, but people are born as a set race. People aren't born as homosexuals, they learn or choose it.
Ken: That is your opinon.
Dad: So you don't think that Soddom and Gommorah were destroyed because of the homosexuals in it?}
Ken: No. I think it was destroyed because the homosexuals in it were doing overtly immoral things. Straight people have to keep their morals, homosexuals have to keep their morals, bisexuals have to keep their morals.
Dad: Do you have homosexual friends?
Ken: Yes. And Bisexual ones.

*silence for a long time*

Ken: I do not believe they will disfellowship me for this. I am merely saying that I do not agree with the things they believe, and wish to withdraw without alot of trouble.
Dad: No. You disagree with the Bible itself. That is apostasy, and you will be disfellowshipped for it.
Ken: What? Because I tolerate homosexuals I am a heretic now?
Dad: No. You are an apostate because you challenge God's veiws.
Ken: So, thinking that all homosexuals being slaughtered at Armageddon with the rest of the 'wicked ones' is apostasy?
Dad: Yes. Unless they change their sexual preference they will be killed. You should not question God's judgement on that.
Ken: Then I proclaim myself an apostate. If I die at armageddon for my veiws, then I will resign to my death. I will not know of it anyway- you know that the Bible says everyone who is dead is non-existant, not knowing of anything.
Dad: Yes, and so even if you are wrong, Jehovah will be merciful and not send you into eternal pain, like other churches teach.
Ken: As I already said, I resign to my fate. I dislike the taste this world leaves in my mouth anyway, I would prefer to be killed by God than from age or another man. If somehow you survive into the Paradise Earth after Armageddon then do not remember me. I do not need to be remembered. But if I am right, and you die like the mortal creature you are and never come back- then realize that you, once again, were wrong on a grander scale. A fifteen year old outthought you.
Dad: You will be killed, Kenny. You know that.
Ken: No, I don't. I doubt that any God would kill me, and I would not let him. There is more power in a human than you think. Surely you must have known- whenever you came over to Tammy's house, I was an inquisitive child. You should have known I would question this radicalist christian group you belong to.
Dad: No, I didn't think you would question it. You always seemed enthusiastic.
Ken: Then you underestimated me.
Dad: Or overestimated you.
Ken: Heh heh. Maybe you did overestimate me. You surely have not lived up to my expectations either, old man.




Apostate. I have heard so many talks about apostasy. I guess I teach apostasy. I cannot avoid being disfellowshipped. I will lose my friends and inheritence, damn. Why is the cost for opinons so high? Is this what the world has gone to.

Survey for DeathKnights To Unwind By

If I were a month, I'd be: November.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Sunday.
If I were a time of day, I'd be: 10:09 PM.
If I were a planet, I'd be: Jupiter. [Big and gaseous? -_-;; Man that was a shitty choice.]
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: A piece of Coral.
If I were a direction, I'd be: Westsouthwest.
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: Grandfather clock.
If I were a sin, I'd be: Of the Seven Deadly Sins, I take it? Anger.
If I were a historical figure, I'd be: Admiral Yamamoto.
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Bleach.
If I were a tree, I'd be a: Weeping Willow.
If I were a bird, I'd be a: Hawk.
If I were a tool, I'd be a: Screwdriver. Good at putting things together, taking things apart and I can murder people.
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be a: Vine.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: Supercell Thunderstorm with Tornadic Rotations and Hail.
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be a: Muse.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a: Cowbell.
If I were an animal, I'd be a: Mountain Lion.
If I were a color, I'd be: Socialist Red.
If I were an emotion, I'd be: Morose.
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: Squash.
If I were a sound, I'd be: Droplets falling into a small puddle.
If I were an element: What definition of element? I will go with the generic one. I would be Air.
If I were a car, I'd be a: Schoolbus being used for something aside from ferrying students.
If I were a song, I'd be: Change (In The House Of Flies) By Deftones.
If I were a movie, I'd be: The Gods Must Be Crazy.
If I were a book, I'd be: The Cay.
If I were a food, I'd be: Mushroom pizza. I sound strange, disgusting or silly intially, but if you get a taste of me you might just want to have some more, or you may go with your intial judgement.
If I were a place, I'd be: A small fireplace, appreciated by only those who need me.
If I were a material, I'd be: Kevlar.
If I were a taste, I'd be: Spicy.
If I were a scent, I'd be: Fresh rain.
If I were a religion, I'd be: Uhh. Neo-Pagan?
If I were a word, I'd be: Withdraw.
If I were an object, I'd be a: Passport.
If I were a body part, I'd be a[n]: eye.
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: Modern World History, Taught by a Liberal.
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: Downtrodden.
If I were a cartoon character, I'd be: Rogue.
If I were a shape, I'd be a: Random polygon you only see once.
If I were a number, I'd be: 7

One more, just for fun.

-small talk-

name - Ken.
gender - Male.
age - Fifteen.
birthday - August the 10th, 1988.
zodiac sign - Leo.

-home on the range-

location - San Antonio, Texas.
place of birth - San Antonio, Texas.
other places you've lived - Universal City, Texas.
who do you live with? - My grandparents who adopted me.
who have you lived with in the past besides these people? - My biological mother and her husbund, my halfsister.
do you have any pets? if so, what kind of pet, what is/are their name/s, and how long have you had them? I have an outdoor Border Collie named Susie [Howell] that I have had for around years. An indoor Shih-Tzu named Joy[ful Lee Howell] who I have had for around 3 years. Gerbil named Diamond.
what about previous pets? - Gerbil named Ruby, died a mont hand a half ago. Two dogs, one was sold one ran away. Brief stints with fish.
what is your bedroom like? - My bed rests in the middle with it's back against the wall. ACross from it is a dresser with a mirror. Facing this dresser, on your right would be the door and the closet less than a foot away. Facing that closet, to it's right is another dresser with a large aquarium. Next to it is a bookcase. You are now back at the bed. Restarting, facing that mirror+dresser, to your left is a TV on a TV stand. Underneath it are a PS1 and N64. From there, going left, is my desk and phone. Continueing left, you read a lampstand with a lamp, books stacked underneath it, and another bookcase. The whole room is paleblue, and I have no posters. Upon the MIrror+Dresser combonation is my stereosystem and lava lamp.
places you would like to live or visit - Brazil, China, Western Russia, Poland, Finland, The Czech Republic, Slovakia, France, Spain, Portugal, Britain. Specifics include Madrid, St. Petersburg, Moscow.

-bittersweet symphony-

who are your favorite bands/artists? - Deftones, Pig Destroyer, Strapping Young Lad, Mastodon, Cradle of Filth.
what are your five favorite songs right now? - Change (In The House Of Flies) By Deftones; Force Fed by Strapping Young Lad, Mother Puncher by Mastodon, City of Flickering Destruction from the game Legend of Mana on the Playstation One and Piss Angel by Pig Destroyer.
can you play/have you ever played/do you wish you could play any musical instruments? - I can play the piano and a bit of guitar. I would like to play a church organ once, and maybe learn how to play the trumpet.
what are your favorite sad songs? - City of Flickering Destruction from Legend of Mana, Hurt by Nine Inch Nails, Dead and Bloated by Stone Temple Pilots.
happy songs? - Creatures (For Awhile) by 311.
sexy songs? - None.
angry songs? - All I need is Rizzo by Chimaira.
what band/artist are you ashamed to admit you like? - I like Michelle Branch. It makes me remember good times.
have you ever met any famous musicians? if so, who, and how? - Hmm. Not really "met", not like I talked with them. One time I did get Little Richard's autograph for my grandfather. He drug me to a concert out at Fiesta Texas and I could tell that it would mean alot to him if I did. He took a break, and started signing the tickets you had to get in- a small crowd gathered at the front. I literally pushed most of it apart to get to the front, and got him to sign it. My father still has the ticket. Aside from that, I did it again- this time, for the frontman of the Flying Thunderbirds [another oldies band my dad likes]. He still has that too. Goddamn, the crowds were packed tighter together than a fat man on a rollercoaster.
if you could have dinner with one band/artist, who would you choose? - Dude. A dinner with the guys from Slayer would make my day. Holy shit, that would just be awesome.
if you could have sex with one band member/artist, who would you choose? - I can't think of anyone, really.
what band or artist would you most like to collaberate with, either lyrically or musically? - Lyrically? Cradle of Filth. Musically? Mastodon.
are there any bands/artists/songs that you can't or find difficult to listen to because of a memory or emotion attached to them? if so, which bands/artists/songs, and why? - Yes... Yes. *The song is called "It's A Fine Day". Angela listened to that song. She sang it alot. She quoted some of it in her suicide note to me. And I refuse to write more, because I dislike crying highly.
are there any bands or artists that you used to really like, but now you don't? - Nu Metal. I drifted underground.
are there any bands or artists that you used to really not like, but now you do? - Marilyn Manson, Cradle of Filth.
name five bands or artists that you wish would just disappear - Limp Bizkit, Good Charlotte, Sum 41, Avril Lavinge, Eminem.

-the big picture-

what are your favorite films in the following genres:
comedy - The Breakfast Club, The Gods Must Be Crazy 1 and 2.
horror - The original Shining, The Ring.
drama - Requiem for a dream.
action - Black Hawk Down, Saving Private Ryan.
childrens' - Labyrinth, The Neverending Story, The Secret Garden.
other - Bowling for Columbine.
favorite actors/actresses - Christopher Walkin.
actors/actresses you'd like to have sex with - ... Liv Tyler in that blue outfit from Two Towers..
role in a movie/TV show you wish you could have played - I wish I could play Hannibal Lector. His personality is so choice..
have you ever been on television? - Yea. I did a few minor commercials. No actual shows- yet? Heh.
if you could wake up tomorrow and be any actor/actress, who would you choose? No one, really.
actors/actresses you wish would just disappear - Tom Green pisses the living shitfuck out of me.

-the written word-

favorite authors/books - I like Stephen King and Tolkein.
favorite genres - History, Horror, Fantasy, Science Fiction.
favorite characters - I like Gandalf, especially in The Hobbit.
do you write? - Yes.
do you keep a journal? - Yes.

-the human body-

do you have any piercings? - No.
do you have any tattoos? - I plan to get one.
are there any tattoos or piercings that you want? - Ask me a bit later.
are there any tattoos or piercings that you hate? - Facial tattoos. I just have an odd urge to shoot someone who puts a tattoo on their face, and I am never putting one there.
have you ever broken a bone? - No.
worst injury you've ever had - Slit wrists.
how tall are you? - 6'3.
how much do you weigh? - 275.
do you have any birthmarks? - Yes.
is there anything about your body that makes you stand out? - People say my eyes are enchanting.
have you ever had any operations? - Yes. A had a double hernia as a child.
would you ever consider plastic surgery? - No.

-the origin of love-

do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? (if not, skip over questions you can't answer or choose an ex) - No.
what is their name? - My irl ex was named Daniella.
how old are they? - She would be 15 now.
how long have you been together? - Hmm. When we broke up it had been a year and some odd months.
what is one really good memory you have of them? - At a party one time, she and I just avoided the generic shit and stayed off to ourselves, enjoying each others company for a few hours- it was fun, in a romantic, deep way.
what is one really bad memory you have of them? - The day I learned she was being forced to move to Canada. It was at a Wedding Party for a couple in our church. She was, oddly, missing. She came in with a few Elders, and I asked what's up. She told me, and then she immediately had to go because her mother's ex-husbund might show up and go ballastic.

I had to leave the party because I was starting to cry, and I was crushed. I could not sleep that not, I could not believe my unfortunate turn of events. Maybe it was melodramatic. But she was my first love, and her leaving.. it was like I was broken.

Ever since then I take a cynical outlook to all things love, and no one can change that. Luck or not, I learned the hard way that love is the most painful thing in existance, no matter how sugarcoated it is.
their best physical features - Her face.
their best personality features - Intelligent, funny, liberal.
turn-ons - I like red hair, if you look asian, a smart, independant personality, humor.
turn-offs - Religious Zealouts, Feminists who want something more than equality, preppy attitude.
favorite part of the body of the opposite sex - Hmm. Legs.
favorite part of the body of the same sex - I haven't really thought about it. I don't think I have a favorite. Should I? lol.
hetero, bi, or homosexual? - Hetero, with a tolerance for bis and homosexuals. =)

-favorites-

scents - Rain, food.
sounds - Thunder, lightning, rain, fire.
tastes - Vanilla, Ranch Dressing, Spicy Food.
articles of clothing that you own - My necklace.

-psychedelica-

have you ever done drugs? if so, which kinds? - Pot, LSD, Shrooms. If alcohol counts, then add it in.
what drugs do you still use? - Alcohol.
what drug/s have you used in the past, but will never use again? - Acid. Even if bad trips are avoidable, that was too much.
what drug/s have you never used, but would like to try? - Heroin and crack.
what is one of your funniest drug or alcohol-related stories? - I think I jumped out of a tree naked when I was on drugs one time and landed in a bush. o.o I can't remember, but my friends said I did. o.o;;;
what is one of your least funniest? - Bad trips, bad trips.
what drugs do you wish didn't exist? -Hmm. Whatever the fuck my dad was on.
what is/was your favorite drug? - Alcohol.
what is your stance on drugs? - When used in moderation and not abused, it is alright- like anything else in life, overuseing it creates problems.
if you could go back and change your life so that you'd never tried a certain drug, which would you choose? - LSD.

-random-

what is your iq? - 148.
have you ever been arrested? - Yes.
pet peeves - Drug Myths, Conservitives, Religious Zealots, Teenage Girls who think they are hot but are actually ugly sluts who are trying too hard.
guilty pleasures - Masturbation.
if you could have three wishes, what would they be? - Hmmm. The Wisdom of Minerva, The Intelligence of Jehovah and the ability to grant my own wishes.
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Thursday, October 9, 2003

The intricacies of life and the clockwork of the pale blue sky.
I was thinking about how much of a magical world this could possiblely be. Our ancestors spoke of varying form of folklore- fairies, goblins, demons. Indian Shamans say that our minds choose to avoid seeing the magical realm, to avoid seeing the true chaos that rules the world.

I think that might be true. There has to be something more to this Earth than is in plain veiw- something that we could reach out and touch if we could only accept the fact that it could be there.

It suprises me, really. People tell me to take my heads out of the clouds, yet they worship invisible dieties without a second thought. I think that we lost something human as time progressed, and that now all we can do is read and write stories about the magical things we used to see and worry about.

Maybe I am crazy. I could care less, the generic path of life is too generic and overdone. What a great fucking suprise that would be to all the world- science couldn't explain it, religion couldn't explain it.

Demons, magic, Gods. Humans still do things for invisible beings today- the aforementioned religions, racial traditions throughout the world. To avoid mystical beings, to get their aid, to talk to them.

Hmm. Who knows. Magic or no, maybe that is what everyone yearns for. The realization of a dream that shouldn't be able to be realized. The dream of peace, the dream of eternal life, the dream of Gods.

That would be nice though. Heh.

A Quiz from Juu's site

YOUR NAME: Kenneth Andrew Howell
YOUR AGE: 15
YOUR HOBBIES: Thinking far too much.
WHAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL: Not too much.
IF YOU COULD HAVE THREE WISHES, WHAT WOULD THEY BE: A.) Clairvoyance. B.) Wisdom. C.) The ability to grant my own wishes.
WHAT'S YOUR DREAM JOB: History Professor, Military Tactician.
DOES WRITING EVER MAKE YOU CRY: No.
WHAT SONG DESCRIBES YOU BEST: Painting the White to Grey by Chimaira.

Find the lyrics and you will see why.
IF YOU COULD GO TO A DESERTED ISLAND, WHO AND WHAT WOULD YOU BRING: The OB gang and some building materials. What a dramatic situation :P
WHAT IS YOUR STAND ON SCHOOL: Without it, I would not be able to compose these sentences.
NAME THE CDS YOU HAVE LISTENED TO TODAY: Hmm. I listened Chimaria 'Pass Out Of Existance', Strapping Young Lad's selftitled release, I clocked in an hour or so on Mastodon's Remission and finally I chilled to Otep's CD, 'Sevas Tras'.
WHO DID YOU LAST TALK TO ON THE PHONE: My... mom..
DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY: Liberal, agnostic, semi-cynical, morose fucktard.
DESCRIBE YOUR LOOKS: Someone said I looked like the Jolly Green Giant.
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF? IF SO, WHAT: I would prefer my eyes to have a more striking, rare color. But I am pretty content.


<3 # # ; ; [[ [ PART TWO -- >> what is your favorite ....

COLOR: Crimson.
SONG: Hmm. Mother Puncher by Mastodon.
BAND : Pig Destroyer.
NUMBER: 7.
ALBUM: Anything by Elton John. [haha.]
SCENT: Rain.
FOOD: Curry Chicken.
ACTOR: John Rhys-Davies.
ACTRESS: Liv Tyler.
PLACE: Forests, The River Styx.
PERSON: Historical? Prolly Wellington or Karl Marx. Now? Too many people. Tori, Neil, Travis and Liz come to mind.
QUOTE: "There are two possibilities for me: To win through with all my plans, or to fail. If I win, I shall be one of the greatest men in history. If I fail, I shall be condemned, despised and damned." - Adolf Hitler, Nazi Germany Dictator, Prior to the start of World War 2.
ANIMAL: Hawks.
THING TO DO: Play strategy and roleplaying games.
MOVIE: Bowling for Columbine, Silence of the Lambs, Lawrence of Arabia, The Excorsist, Platoon.


<3 # # ; ; [[ [ PART THREE -- >> this or that

RAIN OR SUN: Rain.
BLACK OR WHITE: Black.
FALL OR SUMMER: Fall.
BOY OR GIRL: Girl.
BOY/GIRLFRIEND OR FRIEND: Girlfriend.
ONLINE OR OFFLINE: Online.
RENTING MOVIES OR MOVIE THEATRE: Renting.
POEMS OR SONGS: Poems.
VH1 OR MTV: Fuse.
DAY OR NIGHT: Night.
LOVE OR LUST: Love.
SWEET OR SOUR: Sour.
SLEEP OR AWAKE: Awake.
FAME OR MONEY: Money.
THIS OR THAT: That.


<3 # # ; ; [[ [ PART FOUR -- >> what do you think of when you hear this name?

AMY: Asian.
ANDREW: King.
CHRISTINE: Loner.
COLIN: Quinn.
DANIELLE: First girlfriend.
DAMIAN: Italian in a suit with evil intentions.
GINA: To live.
GREG: Syke.
ISABELLE: Queen.
IAN: Friend.
KATIE: Prep in gradeschool I almost fucking killed.
KYLE: Fish.
MARY: YHWH.
MARK: Apostle.
OPAL: Katmandu. [That was a strange process.]
OLIVER: Red.
SAMANTHA: Wishbone. [Sam was cute.]
STEVE: Matthews.


<3 # # ; ; [[ [ PART FIVE -- >> what do you think of when you hear this word?

LOVE: Inhospitable.
MUSIC: Art taken for granted.
PERFECTION: Ensanguined dolls amongst a white backdrop, a cruicifed angel above them.
VIRTUE: Fifth of the nine orders of Angels in Christian Mythology.
CRAZY: Release.
HAPPY: Evasive.
ABUSE: The unpleasant sounds of a child screaming mixed with the dashed dots of crimson across a floor, both of them shattering your inner safety like a bullet to the heart.
HATE: Envolps.
HORROR: Reality.
PAIN: Curtailed.
EMOTIONS: Gifts.
EYES: The birthplace of a virgin.
SOUL: Mortality.
RELIGION: Double edged sword.
GOVERNMENT: Humans controlling humans as humanly possible.

<3 # # ; ; [[ [ PART SIX -- >> some random questions

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK, WHY: I enjoyed a book called "Anarchism Throughout History". It proved to me that anarchies can work when you have a limited number of people, like Democracies. When you get too many people, it starts to buckle and fail. But it could work.. if your situation is right.
HENDRIX, JOPLIN, MORRISON, ETC, : Jesus three freckles.
WHO'S YOUR ROLE MODEL AND WHY: No one. I could care less about role models, most people are stupid fucktards anyway. Take a smattering of the best things you learn and become your own role model, you lazy asswipes.
WHAT ARE YOU EATING/DRINKING: Diet Vanilla Coke.
WHAT TIME IS IT RIGHT NOW: 5:18 AM.
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD OR BAD DAY: Nuetral.
WHAT WOULD YOU DIE FOR: A day without thinking too much.
DESCRIBE YOURSELF IN THREE WORDS: Liberal, tainted, student.
WHAT DO HOLIDAYS MEAN TO YOU: Shit on TV, People saying optimistic shit, other people getting gifts and general annoyances that make them the stupidist days of hte years.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR FAMILY: No.
WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU WANT: Prolly a truck.
WHAT TYPE OF THINGS DO YOU DO WITH YOUR FRIENDS: Pagan orgies, human sacrifices.
WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT BEING FIVE: Nothing.
WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF A SELL OUT: Tolerated person gone poser.
WHAT ARE YOUR FLAWS: I eat Jews.


<3 # # ; ; [[ [ PART SEVEN -- >> your love life

ARE YOU CURRENTLY TAKEN? IF SO, TO WHO?: No one.
IF NOT, WHO IS THE OBJECT OF YOUR INFATUATION: If you hang around me, you might find out.
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST KISS LIKE OR WHAT DO YOU WANT IT TO BE LIKE: First it was suprise, then it was more suprise, then it settled into an overtly happy+sexual feeling.
DESCRIBE THE PERFECT BOY/GIRL: Liberal, intellectual, reasonable looking, non-feminist, agnostic.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: Unfortunately.
IF SO, WHO WAS THE LUCKY PERSON: Nelly, Alex, Reina.
WOULD YOU GO OUT WITH SOMEONE, JUST TO SAY YOU'RE GOING OUT: No.
DESCRIBE THE DREAM DATE: Dinner, Movie, Hangout at one of our homes and talk.
DO YOU THINK IT'D BE FULFILLED: It sounds easy enough. o.o
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANYONE, WHO WOULD IT BE: No one.
DO YOU FLIRT OR TEND TO LAY LOW: I flirt like mad sometimes.
WOULD YOU MAKE THE FIRST MOVE? WHY/WHY NOT: Yes. Someone has to.

Aside from that..

I have had this strange yearning feeling when I think about raising a little girl. That is like the ultimate goal in my life.. to raise up a young girl into a fine young woman, watch her become something that would make the world bow to her beauty and to her intelligence. I would be able to beam in pride, or something stereotypically fatherlike.

That would make me happy, actually. That is probably why I want to do it eventually. It would make me have a sense of accomplishment.

Yea. I like that. Ken raising a little girl. That is a great dream I hope to realize.

But who to realize it with. The real questions are always looming off to the side, aren't they?

The ones that count as much as the one you asked.

But, maybe, someday I will be able to marry and settle down, or adopt.

And then Ken will be happy and he hopes that his little daughter will be happy, too.
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Tuesday, October 7, 2003

Hey California Voters!
Have fun at the recall election. ;)
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