Monday, September 14, 2009

   Once again
So...wondering what I should rant about since it's been quite a while and no one except mizu will probably read this. I wonder why life gets so busy at times not that its a bad time, but i almost always feel hyper, my down time doesn't even feel like my down time any more. It's hard for me to stay calm, classes are taking over when I'm not working tues, wed, and thurs, and I have an online class to keep up on too. Just spent a weekend with my good friend Cory and his 'rents, watched some movies and football, helped them start setting up Halloween decorations already.

My 'rents are gone for the week so I have the house to myself and I have my calico kitten to take care of which I don't mind.

So many thoughts going through mind right now, so much to do. Watched the vid of Kanye interrupting my Taylor at the VMA's, so a little frustrated about that. Wondering what surprises my life holds in store and if I ever will meet a girl I'm good enough for. Or more importantly a soul mate someone who understands me, or at least can just look past and put up with my habits and lifestyle I guess. Wondering if/when I'll get to move out on my own and what that will be like. But I shouldn't think too far ahead I guess, just worry about my classes and getting by in life. Maybe saving some money to put away...

What else...I'm just sitting here right now tweeted some and checked FB and myspace and pretty much no one is on....but then again it's like 3:37 a.m. lol So until next time...

Bonne Nuit
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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Yep
Well to one and everyone Happy New Year, idk if it'll be as good. But hopefully it won't go as fast this time.
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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Little Penguin Glazed with paper
Yeah, it's thanksgiving, I'm sitting in bed watching football and feeling like ranting about somethings bouncing around in my head. I know I may not be one to talk but I'm SICK of young relationships middle school is wayyyy too early to think of bf/gf's, and High School you should honestly be worrying about classes hw and going into college starting to decide what you want to major in, meanwhile having fun with ppl that are JUST friends to hang out and have fun with that alone should be enough to show you that your cared about even if your family life is tough and rough. I know it's tough to even find friends, but if you want to be cared about you sometimes have to put yourself out there maybe meet some new people. Not wait for people to come to you or think that nobody likes you or thinks your pretty or handsome or good looking just bc they don't look at you or approach you. Life is short or so they say, and I for one don't wanna waste it away waitin for things to happen. And yet, you kinda don't wanna force things to happen and wind up hurt. Another thing, if you really, really, really wanna get into a relationship and think you can't live without it, be prepared for pain and don't bitch about it if and when you get hurt or break up, love is tough that's for sure and there's no excuse in you complaining about it and pretending to be all innocent when you knew very well what you were risking when you gave what you did, heart, soul, and emotion, not to mention trust and dedication. I've done my best to avoid putting myself in that situation but I did learn something, bc even I can seem somewhat closed minded when it comes to my emotion. There was a Kay Jewelers commercial with Jane Seymour and she said something that struck me "The open heart can represent hope and love, and if your heart is open love will always find it's way in." When it occured to me that funny enough I don't keep my heart open I hide it away and keep myself somewhat tough so I don't worry or think about unnecessary emotions that require caring or loving only to be let down by pain. Some people it seems get knocked down so hard they feel like no one else could ever love them again and I suppose that would be the wrong time to "close" off your heart I guess you could say. If you just continue living and trust in god that everything will be alright, you can continue living and having fun with friends. Not to mention possibly someday actually falling in love and dating and whatnot. I'm not trying to say that's what you should do, you're your own person and have your own thoughts and interpretation of life so you'll do what you think is best. It just irrtates me when ppl complain about pain and suffering, and putting so much emphasis and reliance on something so unnecessary and pointless at our young time of life on relationships, believing you need just one other person to live and to get by from day to day. I don't understand why they don't see the few ppl that do care about maybe more than they know. Anywho.....this is probably long enough yet, eh? Idk if anyone's going to actually read this anyway...but my day will go on and I'll try to relax and enjoy my 4 day weekend.

Maybe I'll try to think of something happier to talk about next time.

Ttyl

Update: It's like an hour or so later and I feel like a female, lonely, maybe a tiny bit depressed and eating ice cream lol, What's the point of a day off that you don't enjoy?
=/ Oh well
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