Thursday, November 27, 2008

Little Penguin Glazed with paper
Yeah, it's thanksgiving, I'm sitting in bed watching football and feeling like ranting about somethings bouncing around in my head. I know I may not be one to talk but I'm SICK of young relationships middle school is wayyyy too early to think of bf/gf's, and High School you should honestly be worrying about classes hw and going into college starting to decide what you want to major in, meanwhile having fun with ppl that are JUST friends to hang out and have fun with that alone should be enough to show you that your cared about even if your family life is tough and rough. I know it's tough to even find friends, but if you want to be cared about you sometimes have to put yourself out there maybe meet some new people. Not wait for people to come to you or think that nobody likes you or thinks your pretty or handsome or good looking just bc they don't look at you or approach you. Life is short or so they say, and I for one don't wanna waste it away waitin for things to happen. And yet, you kinda don't wanna force things to happen and wind up hurt. Another thing, if you really, really, really wanna get into a relationship and think you can't live without it, be prepared for pain and don't bitch about it if and when you get hurt or break up, love is tough that's for sure and there's no excuse in you complaining about it and pretending to be all innocent when you knew very well what you were risking when you gave what you did, heart, soul, and emotion, not to mention trust and dedication. I've done my best to avoid putting myself in that situation but I did learn something, bc even I can seem somewhat closed minded when it comes to my emotion. There was a Kay Jewelers commercial with Jane Seymour and she said something that struck me "The open heart can represent hope and love, and if your heart is open love will always find it's way in." When it occured to me that funny enough I don't keep my heart open I hide it away and keep myself somewhat tough so I don't worry or think about unnecessary emotions that require caring or loving only to be let down by pain. Some people it seems get knocked down so hard they feel like no one else could ever love them again and I suppose that would be the wrong time to "close" off your heart I guess you could say. If you just continue living and trust in god that everything will be alright, you can continue living and having fun with friends. Not to mention possibly someday actually falling in love and dating and whatnot. I'm not trying to say that's what you should do, you're your own person and have your own thoughts and interpretation of life so you'll do what you think is best. It just irrtates me when ppl complain about pain and suffering, and putting so much emphasis and reliance on something so unnecessary and pointless at our young time of life on relationships, believing you need just one other person to live and to get by from day to day. I don't understand why they don't see the few ppl that do care about maybe more than they know. Anywho.....this is probably long enough yet, eh? Idk if anyone's going to actually read this anyway...but my day will go on and I'll try to relax and enjoy my 4 day weekend.

Maybe I'll try to think of something happier to talk about next time.

Ttyl

Update: It's like an hour or so later and I feel like a female, lonely, maybe a tiny bit depressed and eating ice cream lol, What's the point of a day off that you don't enjoy?
=/ Oh well
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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

   The journey continues
I'm wasting time thinking about a girl
And stealing her away from her world
She and I would run away
I think of all the things that I'd say

We'd talk about important things
And I picture it in my dreams
She'd teach me about modern art
And I'd show her it's okay to fart and

Maybe I'd impress her
By being in a band and
Maybe if I act real tough
She'd let me hold her hand and
Maybe I'll win her heart
By writing this song about her

Sometimes I sit at home and
Wonder if she's sitting at home
Thinking of me and wondering if I'm
Sitting at home, thinking about her
Or am I just wasting my time

Remembering how she laughed at Kinko's
When I made fun of that guy
Remebering the look she gave me
When I told her that I used to fry

I really want to ask her out
But my ego could never take it
And even if I got the balls
You know that the Cougar would never make it

And in my town you can't drive naked

And maybe I'd impress her
By being in a band and
Maybe if I act real tough
She'd let me hold her hand and
Maybe I'll win her heart
By writing this song about her

Sometimes I sit at home and
Wonder if she's sitting at home
Thinking of me and wondering if I'm
Sitting at home, thinking about her
Or am I just wasting my time

Am I just wasting my time
Am I just wasting my time
Am I just wasting my time
Wasting my time thinking about a girl
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

   Same ol'
What is there possibly that could be new? Still just getting by day by day, week by week. Time flies, and I feel like I'm daydreaming alot more, maybe just scatterbrained finding it hard to think of just one thing at a time, I'm fine as long as I don't walk away and try to remember haha.

Anyway, classes are going well, not a total socialite somewhat of a loner. Less of one than I used to be. Got a few friends that are close, some are gone. College is interesting, probably more fun to go to an ACTUAL college or university instead of a community college haha.

Life overall is alright though I don't have too many complaints. Dreams of girls or rather a girl that I wish I had, I girl I've never met yet, and probably never will(that's the pessimism in me). I'd be happy if I just had more female friends to hang with, I had many many more back when I was in High school. The bed always feels so cold and lonely but I'm used to it, just more difficult with fall and winter around the corner xD. Wishing I was doing something productive. Collecting more and more junk I more than likely don't need.

That's about all for now, I may or may not update more with just thoughts and blurbs. As if anyone's gonna read this? haha
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