Monday, April 2, 2007

   It's Not Easy Being Cheesy XDDD
Current Mood: Sleepy
Current Song: The Fatal Believer by Dir en grey
Curretnly Watching: X-Play

OMFG, last night on "Family Guy" was so fucking funny!!! XD There was a little segment where Chester Cheetah (the mascot for Cheetos) cut up a bunch of cheetoes with a razor, like drugs, and then snorted it. XDDD He screamed and threw down the glass tube he snorted it with and his hand had glass shards in it and he was bleeding. Then, he looked at the camera somberly and said "it's not easy being cheesy." ROTFL XDDD It may not sound funny as I'm describing it, but you really have to see it to get what I'm saying. *giggles*

Today was pretty okay. Whenever I got to school I showed Nicole and Devon "Gakuen Heaven" (a yaoi) and they laughed at me as I got all excited over it. XDDD In Orchestra we played this Irish-sounding song and a song called Rhosymedre and were trying to figure out what it meant... one of my teachers said it must be Welsh for "hot pocket." XDDD I gave Storm a copy of "The Marrow of a Bone." I feel bad for burning it, but at the same time, I don't want Storm to have to pay for the album. I feel like such a bad DIRU fan. T~T In Art we made something out of paper mache, and I decided to make an Alice in Wonderland dress. ^-^ It doesn't look very pretty right now, and I'm not completely through with it, but I hope it turns out alright. :/ I kept on giggling whenever I was reading "Gakuen" because one of the guys is named Kaoru (YEAH!!! KAORU!!! XD) and Niwa kept on calling him Kaoru-chan and it'd piss him off... just like Kyo!!! >w< (One of my goals is to call Kyo "Kawaii-chan" and live @_@) Lunch was FANTASIC. X3 We showed Matt some sex scence, and then a few other guys started looking at it and they were about to puke. XDDD Nicole (a fellow boy secks addict) and I were laughing so hard that we thought we were going to die and Matt couldn't believe that I liked it. >3 In Science Korki borrowed "Gakuen" and I took some notes and stared at the wall. It was so hot in there, though, and I wanted to wash my face because it felt so nasty. -_-' After Korki read some of "Gakuen" and told me it was horrible. XDDD It is painstakingly tacky and cliche, but I'll take whatever I can get whenever I'm despretly in need for some yaoi and can't get on the computer. In English we had a substitute so we worked on some stuff in the book. We read a few of Shakespeare's sonnets, and there were so beautiful. I like Sonnet 116 the best (we read that and Sonnet 130), although I loved them both. He really was a great author. :3 Caleb was being an ass-face as always, and was talking to one of his friends how he thinks that I'd give good blowjobs. o_O (I don't see how, I don't have big lips and I'm not pretty.) He asked me if I bite, too. -_- Stupid fuck.

OMFG, I feel so much better. I'm not sick anymore except for the fact that my head hurts and I have a runny nose. Thank God Kyo, I thought I was going to die. -__- (And thank you guys for all the get-well wishes!!! :D)


Thank you, dearest. ^-^

I have a Japanese question (once again)!!! XD Whenever I was reading "Gakuen", I saw "peko" next to Keita whenever he bowed. Is that the sound effect for bowing, or what? :O

I found this really awesome Japanese transfer student program here, and I want to go so badly. The only problem? The price tag.

$6,350

I don't even have $20. *facepalm* So, I'm going to save up and try to get some money for it. Maybe I can get my school to pay for some of it or something. I just want to go to Japan. D: I'll stop complaining now. Ja mata. -3-
+Momo+
Comments (3) | Permalink

Saturday, March 31, 2007

   Otanjoubi omedetou gozaimasu yo~!!!!!!! X3
Current Mood: Sick, but happy
Current Song: ZOMBOID by Dir en grey

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY, TOSHIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *bounces* I hope you have a wonderful birthday, get tons of presents, and remember your value to Dir en grey and fans all over the world. We love you, and happy birthday!!!!! >w<


He doesn't look 30... more in his 20s. @_@

Okay, now that's over, now to my day. Last night I watched "Borat"... with my dad. XD It was worth it, though. That movie is so funny, I almost screamed with laughter at times. It would've been funnier if I didn't watch it with my dad (it would've been less ackward), but it was still great. If you guys have the chance to watch it, do it. But if you're really sensitive, and can't take a joke (especially about Jews), don't. Although you should. I also got to email my favorite Kyo fansites' webmistress. I love talking to her, she's so nice and seems to know EXACTLY what I'm talking about with Kyo. :3


"Very nice!!!"

Today has been pretty uneventful, considering that I've only been awake for about 5 hours. o_o Anyway, I woke up at about 9 to use the bathroom but went back to sleep and woke up again at 12:30. Whenever I woke up, I sat down on the couch for a litte while but eventually got dressed since I had to go to my bass lesson. We went to go eat at Jack in the Box and then my brother and I went to go for our lessons (we just started last weekend). During my brother's lesson, I practiced my bass and listened to "ZOMBOID" and "24ko Cylinders." I love those songs. *starry eyes* I'm not too fond of the lessons because I get SO embarassed whenever I hit the wrong note, but having someone teach me is the best way I learn. -_- So, I pray that I don't fuck up or I want to bury my head in the ground. @_@ But at the end of the lesson, he gave me the tab to "Smells like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana since it's only 4 notes that you strum the entire time. XD; Whenever I get better, I'm going to get some DIRU tabs and play those. :3 The ones I want to play the most are:

1. "Cage"
2. "DISABLED COMPLEXES"
3. "children"
4. "raison d'etre"
5. "Itoshisa wa Fuhai in Tsuki"
6. "Bottom of the Death Valley"

There are more, but those are the ones that I NEED to play. *SQUEE* After our lesson, we came home and I played my gameboy a little bit. Now here I am.

I'm feeling a little better, my headache has gone away. But I think my phlegm is infected since sometimes (especially in the morning) it's yellow, and I've started coughing. -_- Disguting, isn't it?

My dad's watching "American Gladiators." XDDD Please kill me.
+Momo+
Comments (3) | Permalink

Friday, March 30, 2007

   Can I have your Diaherria??? XDDD
Current Mood: Sick/Bored
Current Song: G.D.S. by Dir en grey
Currently Watching: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy (blame the title on them)

Last night was boring. All I really did was take some retarted DIRU quizzes and laze around until 1 in the morning. @_@

Today has been no better. I woke up at 6:30 in the morning to use the bathroom and tried to go to sleep again until 8. -_- That pissed me off so bad... and it pisses me off even more that everytime I try to fantisize about me and Kyo *cough @//@*, I go to sleep. -__- WTF, man??? I guess my brain just doesn't want me to be happy. Eventually I fell asleep and woke up again at 12:30. Whenever I woke up, I stared at the TV for a little while until I made myself a quesodilla and ate that for lunch while I watched a few DIRU PVs from my "Gauze -62045-" DVD. And I got my brother to admit that he liked "Schwein no Isu" and "Tsumi to Batsu." >3 Ehehee.... you cannot deny Dir en grey. After that my brother got on the computer for 4 fucking hours so I couldn't post or anything. >_< That pissed me off so much... and he was doing stupid shit like playing a game where a guy would just fart. *facepalm* While he was doing that, all I really did was watch TV and play my gameboy. So much for an exciting day off. *groans* Then Mom came home to pack her stuff to go see my cousin and she's going to try and see if they have "Withering to Death" or "Vulgar" (I doubt it about "Vulgar", but it's still worth a try) for me. :3 And, here I am. o_o

Yeah.

I feel a little better than I did yesterday, but still not perfect. My head hurts, it feels like my head is floating, my throat is tight and I can't really swallow, my nose is stuffy, and I keep on choking on phlegm. So, I'm slightly happy about that. :3 And I really wanted to watch the fake Kyo porno, my since my brother was on the computer for so long, I can't. -_- Damn him!!!! D<


*falls to the ground and twitches* Oh, yeah... that makes me feel better. XD

Well, I guess that's all that really happened on this boring day. Yeehaw.
+Momo+
Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, March 29, 2007

   What do you See?
Current Mood: Sick/Tired
Current Song: THE PLEDGE by Dir en grey
Currently Watching: America's Funniest Home Videos

Last night I was really bored and didn't want to go to bed so I started on a picture of Kyo from the "MACABRE" era. I just used my CD booklet. @_@

Whenever I was working on it this morning, Katie and Anthony started freaking out over it and telling me how good it was. @_@ I told them that it wasn't, and they screamed at me to not be so modest. o_o Meep. In Orchestra we tried out a new piece and it sounded really cool, it was just sort of difficult to play. I don't know if we're going to keep it or not. After we played, I worked on my Kyo picture again and everyone wanted to see it and kept on looking at it. -_- This is why I hate drawing around people, because they always tell me lies. Then some random chick came up to me and told me that she liked Kyo's crown tattoo (I was outlining it on another picture in sharpie). It was kinda odd. @_@ In Art we just made up any work we haven't done.... but since I didn't have any work that I didn't do, I finished up my Kyo picture and cut out some pictures that I could draw as art practice. In lunch I was tired and layed my head on Stacie's lap and she accidentally spilled chicken noodle soup on me. -_-' There were chicken bits in my hair and the soup was seeping through my shirt and bra. *facepalm* In Science we took a test and since I finished early, I started drawing another picture. It just doesn't look all that great. *sighs* Damn picture. In English everyone finished their presentations, got some graded work back, and learned a little bit about the Renaissance. There was this SUPER cool picture where if you stood under it, you could see a skull on the picture. :D Everyone else was talking about how disturbing it was and I was like "hellz yeah!!!" X3 I think the picture was called "The Ambassadors", but I'm not sure. @_@ Oh yeah... Caleb also mooned me (I wanted to say "I've seen better... like Yomi's" so bad XDDD) and spit on the floor again. -_- Fuckin' disgusting.

God.... I feel like shit. My allergies have been killing me and they're just getting worse. My headhurts, my throat is tight and I can barely swallow, I have a runny nose and it hurts whenever I breathe through my nostrils, I'm so tired, I keep on gagging on phlegm, my voice sounds funny and I can't sing, and it feels like my head and ears are full of cotton. -_-


Kyo, you sexy beast, make me feel better! D:

Tommorow is a teacher's workday, so thank God I don't have to go. I need some rest so that I can possibly get better. Mata ne.... *waves tiredly*
+Momo+
Comments (4) | Permalink

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

   Gekijou no....
Current Mood: Sleepy
Current Song: Ryoujoku no Ame by Dir en grey
Currently Watching: America's Funniest Home Videos

DUDE, THERE'S A MONKEY ON AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS!!!! :B FUCK YEAH!!! AND HE'S KISSING A GUY WITH A MONKEY MASK ON!!! XD

Ahhhh, how easily am I amused. :3

Before school Sydney was making fun of me for wearing my Dir en grey shirt and "I love Kyo" wristband on the same day and he told me that I need a wristband that says "Kyo loves cock." XDDD I almost pissed myself, I was laughing so hard. In orchestra we practiced the piece we got yesterday and I guess I'm getting slightly better at it. It's a senior request, and we HAVE to play it. @_@ After we playing, I went down to the councelor's office to check out my registration form and found that no schools have Japanese around here, and if they did, I'd have to be an 11th grader. -_- So, no Japanese for Momo-chan. ;~; No matter what, though, I'm studying it in college. D< After I got back, Storm and I started talking about porn and the types that make us wanna puke (like scat and golden shower @_@). XD Yeah, we're so appropriate. In Art we took a test on painting, I finally finished my geisha picture, I got to work on some of my Kyo fanletter, and cut out some pictures for my fake CD cover. Yay!!!! ^o^ The girl beside me wanted to read my Kyo fanletter (-_-) and she said that I should get to meet him. o_o I got my teary eyed anime girl face on and hugged her. XDDD During lunch we screwed around like usual. @_@ Except that Nicole told me someone in her gym class told a Hispanic girl (who's my friend) that "I'm white. I own you." I was so pissed off, I started screaming. I absolutely HATE racist people, and it pains me to know that there are still people like that in this world. Sandra (the Hispanic girl) beat the crap out of her and our whole lunch circle threatened to jump the bitch who said that to her. XD You don't mess with the crazy anti-racist girl who's in love with an Asian. >D

Awwwwww... a little boy kissed another boy on America's Funniest Home Videos... how cute!!! >w<

Damn, gotta stay on track. -_- In Science we did this study guide for our test and I worked on my Kyo fanletter again. Korki kept on poking me and making me squeel and Matt said that Kyo sucked (then again, with that video floating around, that may be true XD) so I threatened to fight him. @o@ In English some people presented their projects and I finished my Kyo fanletter, but it's way too fucking long. It's two pages, one front and back and one front and half of the back. @_@ So I may type it up here and ask you guys what to take out. Oh, yeah... and Caleb said I looked kinda cute. @_@ After school we saw one of Nicole's friends carrying a little chihuahua who would growl viciously whenever she said "get 'em, girl!!!" XDDD She kinda reminded me of Puppie (although Puppie was a pomerenian) and how she hated Shinya although he loved her. So cute. ;o;


OMFG, I LOVE THIS PICTURE SO MUCH~!!! ;O; Miyu and Shin-chan are so fucking adorable.... >w<

I've had "Ryoujoku no Ame" stuck in my head all day.... I love that song so much. The pain is so apparent, and the video has enough S&M for the whole family. :3 I like the single version better, although the album one is beautiful too. What's your opinion?

***

Ryoujoku no Ame by Dir en grey (official translation)
The lukewarm raindrops cause a deep wound, even to the innocent

A lie is born
And somewhere the lie becomes something else

Someday, all the words, the day and everything else will get buried in the mistake
I hold dear to me, a blue and pure memory

My hope fades away from the angry tears
Even the strength to live
In a fit of passion I go crazy with grief
And so, I pray to the setting sun

burning from the inside
crying with pain
You can not save me

The lost sense of generosity from the angry tears, is
The love given tome as I am born
The reason for my lost heart
Must be my own weakness...?

It is then the proof of sadness, caused by absolute justice

In the lukewarm rain which does not stop...

***

Last night I was crying whenever I thought of Kyo crying and fish hooking himself while singing "Higeki wa Mabuta wo Oroshita Yasashiki Utsu" during the "It Withers and Withers" DVD. Then I started sobbing whenever I prayed for him to realize his self-worth and to stop hurting himself as much. Am I so weak that I cry over these type of things?



Anoooo... I guess I should get started on my homework. *sighs* Maybe I can shred it up and put bloodstains on it and say Kyo ate it. o_o
+Momo+

EDIT:
Whoa. I watched a live of "Higeki wa Mabuta wo Oroshita Yasashiki Utsu" because I had never seen one (yes, everyone gasp). And, I can't believe I'm saying it, but I kinda wish I hadn't. I was okay until about half way into the song into Kyo started crying. My eyes immediately started to well up, but whenever he started screaming and you could hear his cries, I started hiccuping from crying so hard. I had to cover my mouth so my brother wouldn't hear me. As I listened to Kyo screaming and sobs ripping from his throat, I squeezed my eyes so tight and tears streamed down my face, like I was being rained on. Soon enough I was crying so hard that my hands didn't do any good so whenever it finished, I ripped off my headphones and ran to my room. I slammed my face into my pillow and basically screamed from weeping so hard. I couldn't really say anything other than "oh my God", "Kyo", "God", etc. I eventually was crying so hard that I was hyperventilating and curled up into a ball. It felt like Kyo had ripped out my heart and squeezed it until the blood ran down his fingers. I hate seeing him in such pain... I wish I could just take it away from him. I went to the bathroom to wipe up my tears and eyeliner but I ended up crying again. I dug my fingernails into my forehead and covered my face while sobbing and praying. I was talking to Kyo, although I know he couldn't hear it. I want him to feel no pain, but I guess it's inevitable.

I haven't cried like that in forever. Probably like a year or so. I don't plan on watching that again for a LONG time. Unless I just feel like slitting my wrists.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

   Kill the Pink!!!
Current Mood: Horny/Tired
Current Song: Pink Killer by Dir en grey
Currently Watching: Scrubs (Hellz, yeah!!! >D)

The first thing my friends said to me whenever I got to school was "how was the Kyo porn?" XDDD My reply was "well, it was 30 seconds long and had no sound, but BY GOD, it was worth it." @_@ Yesh, I'm creepy. In Orchestra we had a new piece to play and it was pretty hard, but I'll live. We finished extra early and I listened to DIRU and while studying some of the criteria for Yonkyuu. The only problem was that my cramps are TERRIBLE during the first few days of my period, and it feels like someone inside my body is squeezing my stomach as hard as they could. -_- It hurts so bad, I just wanted to go in a fetal position and die. ;~; In Art we worked more on our paintings and all I have to do is paint the ground and buildings, so yay!!! :D The girl beside me said that she really likes my geisha and kimono. XDDD During lunch I sat on the floor and everyone else was sitting on a bench or standing up, so their crotches were in my face. o_o; And Matt kept on scooting closer to me, so I was about to scream. -_- And eventually he tried to fit my water bottle down his pants, but they were to tight. Then I shamed him my shoving it down my pants successfully and still having room (I wear baggier clothing than most of the white guys at my school @_@). Then I decided to throw it away since I didn't want crotch water. XDDD In Science we watched a video and Matt sat beside me and I just drew on him with my eyeliner, pen, and eyeshadow. XD I was bored, and had a lot of makeup. His hands are sooooooo fucking big, though, they make mine look like little midget hands. o_o (I wonder what Kyo's hands are like.... awwww, I bet they're kinda small. Like hamster hands. Awwwww, Kyo has hamster hands!!! *jumps up and down* >w< Damm, gotta stay on track! @o@) In English, I finished my presentation and just scribbled and stared at the wall while others did their presentation. Unfortunately, that included two presentations on "Pretty Woman" and "Legally Blonde 2." o_o OH MY FUCKING GOD. I was getting ready to slam my head against the wall, then thought about Kyo screeching and slinging blood all over their presentation and giggled. >3 Whenever I got home, I had to watch the Kyo porn again. @_@ It's so damn addicting, I can't help it. Hopefully I can stop soon before it plays in my head over and over again. *coughs*


Ummmmm.... o//o *squirms*

I've been getting on the computer a whole lot more than usual. I'm kinda getting worried about it. o_O Hopefully, I can get rid of this bad habit. Like my oncoming Kyo porn addiction. XD Mata ne~! And watch out for that porn!!! @_@
+Momo+
Comments (4) | Permalink

Monday, March 26, 2007

   Yay for Gay Porn!!!
Current Mood: Giggly, horny
Current Song: Repetition of Hatred by Dir en grey

Ahahaaaaaaaa... I just watched the video that the fake Kyo porn came from. That guy looks so much like Kyo... if I were to see him in Japan, I would ask for his autograph and start screaming when I saw it wasn't Kyo's signature. @_@ But I started blushing during the video, since he looked at the camera and he looks like Kyo and... well, he was giving a guy a blowjob. X_X *coughs*


XDDD

Ugh, last night I didn't get a whole lot of sleep because it was so hot. I would take off my pants then take off my sheets then put my sheet back on and try to sleep with my blanket and then throw that off. And then, I had to use the bathroom at 6:30 whenever I usually get up at 6:45. So, yeah, I was pissed. Whenever I got at school, I ran towards everyone and screeched "THERE'S A GAY JAPANESE PORN WITH A GUY WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE KYO SUCKING COCK!!!" XDDD Everyone just laughed and shook their head. 'Cause, that's Momo. In Orchestra we played and our male teacher was a little bitchy, but he can kiss my ass. I don't really care anymore... and I was thinking about how I was gonna go home and watch the fake Kyo porn. XDDD After we played, I studied some Japanese while listening to some songs off of WTD. In Art we worked more on our stupid paintings and I eventually got really bored and just started staring at the wall. I got tired of mixing the paints, it started pissing me off. Our homeowork for this week is to design a CD cover and back for a new band's album. So, I'm gonna use one of my band names ideas and probably make a collage like the cover of "Average Psycho." I'll probably not put an nazis on there, 'cause that would cause some shit. @_@ During lunch I just complained about not being able to watch the Kyo porn right now and I was flipping out over Nicole's super adorable new bangs. :3 In Science Matt talked to me a little and said he wasn't able to meet Bam because he fell off a roof and broke his ankle. @_@ Bam's such an idiot... but I can help but watch "Jackass" and "Viva la Bam." Does that make sense? -_- My teacher teased me a whole lot about writing on myself in Japanese (I had "Kyo no poruno" written all over me as a reminder XDDD), and about me being a vegetarian. >_< In English we presented our projects and I drew a picture of Clarice from "The Silence of the Lambs" since I was bored. Nhi and I started to present our project, but the bell rang on us right after we finished the clip with Hannibal. -3- We have to finish it tommorow. After school I was waiting impatiently for Nicole to come outside so I could go home and watch the fake Kyo porno, but she was up in the art room. I eventually caught a ride with Bobby and was able to get home to watch it. It was less than 30 seconds long, but it was sooooooooooooo worth it to a guy who looks exactly like Kyo giving blowjobs. XDDD And I started my period right after the porno. Dammit, the fake Kyo popped my gay Japanese porn cherry. @_@


(Despite how funny this picture is, I can't help but point out Kyo's insanely adorable nervous smile. >w<)

I'm really pissed off.... my copy of "VULGAR" keeps on skipping. It's from whenever I first become a DIRU fan (about 2 years ago) and I really need to buy a new copy from eBay, but my mom is being an ass and takes her sweet time putting my cash on the card. And sweet time for her is 4 months. -_- I need to replace my burned copies of "VULGAR" and "Withering to Death", dammit!!! DIRU support!!! >O

I'm so boredddddddd.... and hungry for Kyo-nessssssss.... not a good combination. D: I think I'll just watch a few PVs and complain about how I want to be Kyo's bitch. XDDD Mata ne~!
+Momo+
Comments (5) | Permalink

Sunday, March 25, 2007

   Kyo's Throat Exercises XDDD
Current Mood: Giggly
Current Song: Repitition of Hatred by Dir en grey
Currently Watching: Family Guy

I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while, but MyO has been a bitch and wouldn't let me on. >O But during my absesnce, I found something no short of a miracle, my friends. I was talking to my dear Areina-chan over IM and she told me about this J-rock Humor entry where they were talking about a gay Japanese porno where a guy who looked JUST LIKE Kyo was giving a blowjob. XDDD Everytime I look at the pictures, I start giggling and smiling like a dork. XD I was able to get on Jrock Humor on my mom's computer (I can't view it on our normal computer, it's gay -_-) and I found the URL to the video, and I'm going to watch it tommorow after school. ^-^ So yay for gay fake Kyo porn!!! :D Everyone on Jrock Humor is going crazy over it... there was this post where someone took a picture of Kyo and Die where Kyo was reading something and Die's crotch looked like it was in Kyo's face and he was saying "bloooooowjoooooob." XDDD Aaaaaaah, you have to love Jrock fandoms. >3


"You think I did WHAT?!"

The Porno Page!!! :D

I'm sorry this update was so small, but I needed to tell all the uninformed about the awesome gay porn. (even if you're not into DIRU yaoi-I'm not-you have to see this. It's fucking hilarious.) See, I love you all. Bai bai~!!! ^o^
+Momo+
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

   re incarnate
Current Mood: Meh
Current Song: Gyakujou Tannou Keloid Milk by Dir en grey
Currently Watching: Cheat (not Cheaters, Cheat)

Last night sucked big time. Whenever I went to bed, I listened to one of my Japanese CDs. Only, my dad heard me shuffling a lot (for like my Japanese dictionary, pen, etc.) and he came and asked me what I was doing. I stalled for a little while, but then I couldn't lie to him anymore and told him that I was listening to my Japanese CD. He then took away my CD player and Mom came in and asked me what was in my hand, and I told her a pen. When she asked what it was for, I told her it was for my Japanese dictionary and she took both of those away. Then I got yelled at by both of them, telling me that I needed to get my priorities straight and that I couldn't study Japanese on the weekdays and couldn't look at DIRU on the computer anymore. They then left me alone and I started crying. It wasn't because they took all those things away, it's just that they were so dissapointed in me and seemed like I was a failure. I hate that feeling and it makes me feel like the worst, most worthless person on the face of the earth. And whenever my father yells at me, it really hurts. Plus, I can't control that I'm so obsessed with Japanese and Dir en grey. I know I'm a fucking freak, but I've been obsessing with things ever since I was little. I can't help it, and I wish I could just stop. I then went to the bathroom to wipe my tears away and blow my nose, and Mom came in and asked me if I was cutting again. I told her no, and she made me pull down my pants (I used to cut on my thighs) so she could see. I showed her and she looked at them before saying "those are new." I totally lost it-she's a bitch to me all the time, she yells at me, takes away my Japanese and my privelges, says I need to make better grades but I make As and Bs, and then tries to say I'm cutting again. So I screamed at her "NO I'M NOT!!! FEEL THEM, THEY'RE OLD!" (I never yell at my mom, so that's one of the breaking points for me.) I just started crying harder and she felt them and was convinced. It pisses me off so much whenever she doesn't believe me. Granted, I've lied about cutting before, but if I want to ruin my fucking body, let me do it. It's not hers. I'm so tired of her in my life. Mom and Dad then lectured me again and by the time they were done, it was 11:30, and they could've saved a whole fucking half hour without all the drama. I was so tired afterwards that I probably only cried for 10 minutes before I went to sleep.

I know I'm a drama queen. I know I'm spoiled. I know I suck. Trust me, I remember it every single day. Don't give me any grief about it, this is how I react to things. I don't give a fuck if people see who I really am.

Things this morning were pretty quiet. I didn't even tell my dad "I love you" this morning. Granted, he didn't say it to me, but I was too pissed of to care. In Orchestra, today was our last day of lazing around. But I was really tired from crying and staying up all night, so I took a nap the entire time except for the last few minutes, because I listened to "ZOMBOID", "Gyakujou Tannou Keloid Milk", and "The Domestic Fucker Family." In Art I finished my stupid painting that looks like someone threw up a rainbow on it. Oh, well, I followed the directions. Afterwards I painted freehand and did an angel. At first I was just experimenting with an eye, then I did the lips, nose, hair, face, wings, then sky. And it was done. I thought it looked like shit but the girl next to me kept on gushing about it. @_@ Afterwards, I cleaned up everything and the same girl who complimented me on my picture heard me quietly singing "Gyakujou Tannou Keloid Milk" and said I was good at that too. -_- During lunch all I had was pudding, and that didn't really help my grumbling appetite. At least I got to talk a lot to my friends. In Science we took notes on the sea and I wrote down some lyrics I had stuck in my head. So far I only have about half a song. In English we watched more of "Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone" and talked about my project with Nhi. Hopefully it'll be okay.

So, that was my day and my boring, emo post. Sorry for the crappiness.
+Momo+
Comments (7) | Permalink

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

   I'm Killing the Haughtily Fly
Current Mood: Hyper
Current Song: Agitated Screams of Maggots by Dir en grey
Currently Watching: Mythbusters

Today I have been so hyper and fangirly.... I don't know what's wrong with me. @_@ In Orchestra we didn't have to play again and I was so tired (I didn't wanna get up this morning) that I went to sleep and had a nice 30 minute nap. But Storm came and woke me up and make me stay away so she could talk and listen to DIRU with me. -_- I love Storm, but I wanted my sleep. But~, I sucked it up and listened to some DIRU, which made it better. However, Myra started talking to her, so I listened to "Jesus Christ RnR" and "Garbage" by myself while they talked. @_@ Myra was talking about how she got a scholorship but they took it away from her and two other students because they didn't have social security numbers. That was gonna help her so much, and she had her whole future planned out before they took it away. So, I hope she gets everything sorted out. That just breaks my heart that they took an oppurtunity to go to college from her. In Art we painted again, and I'm ready to shove my paintbrush through my head. -_- I eventually got bored and painted Kyo's kanji on my hand. XD; During lunch I was complaining about Skyler's creepers and how bad I want them.... I said that I lust after them. XD My friends kept on making fun of me and I finally came up a name for my kind....

a Kyotard. Bobby said that I'm "coo-coo for Kyo-Kyo puffs!" I started awwing after that and going "Kyo-Kyo!!!" X3


Oh, shit.... he knows I called him cute. @_@ (all though he's cute in that picture too XD)

Yes indeedy. After that revalation, one of Stacie's friends came over and I totally spazzed out about her shoes. XD They were slipons with ice cream on them, and I started babbling about how I wanted a cupcake headband and I could dress in a lolita dress and bonnet and pass out cookies to everyone. @o@ I was on a loli-high. o_o The girl just giggled. XD Before Science, Korki decided to torture me by describing all these things to me that Kyo would do to me. o//o She started saying stuff like "imagine a threesome between you, Kyo, and Kaoru", "imagine him putting you on a leash", etc. My face was red, I was sweating, squealing, jumping up and down, and covering my ears. XDDD Then she told me that I loved Kyo so much that I would marry him... I squealed and hugged her and jumped up and down. I'm such a fangirl. @_@ In Science we worked on a few worksheets and talked about the different eons and eras of the world. I also got to study some Japanese since I finished the workbook early. :3 In English we talked about our projects due by Friday and watched a little bit of "Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone." Caleb wasn't annoying as he was yesterday, but he was still annoying. He kept on asking me how to say stupid shit in Japanese and I eventually got fed up with it and told him how to say something wrong. He asked how to say "Caleb is super sexy", and I told him it was "oppai ga aru" ("I have boobs"). XD So, take that, Caleb!!! He also asked me why I would want to learn a "stupid language", if I was part Asian (I don't even fucking LOOK Asian. The only thing that would maybe make you think that is because of my tiny eyes and dark hair and eye color. But still, you wouldn't confuse me as a part-Asian), etc. -_- He's an idiot.


I want to be a loli~!!! ;o; (This is actually pretty accurate to the dress I imagined myself giving people cookies in. XD This is by Baby the Stars Shine Bright, of course. :3)

I'm so happy, I get to talk more and more to my favorite Kyo fansite's webmistress. And she says that she feels like I know exactly what she's talking about (in reference to Kyo), and that makes me so happy. I feel like a (relatively) good Kyo fan. :3
+Momo+
Comments (5) | Permalink