Tuesday, April 17, 2007

A post?!!? O_O

Yeah, heh?but it’s just a lame poem, so I hope you didn’t get your hopes up. This one is for my brother (yes, I have a brother -_-) Um?here it is: ------------------- Hello brother, Haven’t seen you in awhile Five years to be exact. You’ve missed a lot of things And I don’t even know where you are And I’ve much to share Things that I was afraid to speak What were you thinking? When you left us that week Were you being bold; doing right Completely wrong, it was a selfish act You just wanted to get out; wanted to get away But are you aware you left me with no escape? That’s right? I’ve been in the darkness And without a brother I’m pretty much alone You were very important to me I can’t even remember the love you shown Sometimes, my mum asks me why I care about you so She asks if you’re a good example I just shake my head no But that doesn’t mean I’m Not allowed to care, big brother You taught me how to hide My inner feelings You taught me to be tough And even some skills of stealing You bruised my arms and called me names You shared, took, and gave me things Heh, you locked me away and left You flew off with your black wings But I still love you You know as well as me That I hate crying Those big tears of weakness That I shed; you know that I’m trying You’re the only one, brother That I felt comfortable doing this in front of You know I loathe it Yes, I do Strange as it is, you’re a big cause Of my pathetic sobbing That day you left to this point on I always cry silently You’ve been gone so long You’ve missed my highlights You’re the one I wanted to impress There’s no one else I’d rather see smile I just wish you were here to pat my back And tell me that I’m ‘doin?alright You missed so much artwork And so many stories You’ve missed meeting my best friend And my many mistakes Many hours of TV watching And I recently beat that game I remember you struggling on I look back knowing It will never be the same What are you thinking now? Any regrets? Any Sorrows? Are you going to want to see me soon? Maybe tomorrow Dad says you don’t write or call Because you’re ashamed Please? I don’t care I want to hear you and see you Maybe even hold your hand if you don’t mind But, Brother? Just take the time And screw the past Please make it better Make my future last Just hide the shame because, brother? I’ve been waiting for tomorrow For five years to be exact ---------------------------- That is all! Byes *waves*

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Yeah, this is for Amanda

Not written for... but she wants to read it... sooooo.... here it is ^^ ------------------- I hate my shadow My silhouette of black void I hate it so much that I leave it on the ground or wall I couldn’t care less If I were never to see it at all I hate my shadow It reminds me of what I am My oddly distorted shape And my overly large hands How awkwardly I stand My crooked mind And my ultimately disgusting soul I hate my shadow You best not touch me I wouldn’t want the darkness To infect and consume you Your beautifully delicious shadow The one that I envy each and every day I fucking hate my shadow I’ve had enough of your pretending Your false eyes on mine Telling me these unbelievable lies That my shadow has more prize And that I should start to believe In what I just can’t see That you love my shadow And that I should too But you see? You should hate my shadow I can’t believe in what I can’t see This beautiful shadow that you Speak of to me In this you’re wrong So very wrong Your shadow and mine Absolutely don’t belong Your crying only worsens it Why continue what makes you that way When even I can’t understand what I say Or what I do Please?my Shadow I just don’t know anymore Maybe you could leave And let me be Because what I want to be Is someone with a perfect shadow So I wouldn’t feel bad about feeling this way And that I wouldn’t feel like the other Shadow deserves more than what it got Because what I want the other shadow to have Is all but one thing To have my perfect shadow You love my shadow Yes, it seems to be true You tell me so from the bottom of your heart So true it’s hard for me to bear I won’t question why you do I guess I’ll suck it up To make you happy I’ll completely remove my sad Take away my impression of my own shadow And pretend to love it too ------------------- Well, there you go! X3 ..::mDX::..

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Friday, April 6, 2007

Oy

Hello hello. Um, Spring Break was over for three days now. It wasn’t that great so I’ll talk about my day at school on Tuesday… it’s probably been the best day at school I’ve had… which… woah. Here’s what went down: - I was called hot by my friend 0_o WHATEVER (damn that stripey shirt…) - I was held against my will during lunch ^-^ (don’t worry, this is a common thing) but, Amanda was looking through my binder… and I have this thing were If I see a bad drawing of mine I want to crumple it… like… instantly. Well, she found one and I was held down by Ellie… She’s pretty strong. But it was horrible… they all passed it around while I struggle to get it from them. Then… randomly, Ellie’s like “Your hair smells nice” and I dunno why… I just broke out laughing. - Tim kept pinching my leg… which resulted in me hitting him… but it wasn’t effective at all -_- - We had a tornado drill and I fell up the stairs… (yeah I know it’s never down…) - I was hugged a lot… I don’t even know… - I finally met the other Justine from my school… I don’t really like her… she’s… meh… I dun like her. - I was mentally whipped by Bryton… WAAAAHHH T_T - Then at the end of the day I was really tired from gym and I layed on Michelle on the bus and she rubbed my back *purrs* It felt good. I felt pretty calm and stuff. A nice way to end the school day ^-^ Yeah… Oh… I got a… *fidget* Myspace… Eh. It was actually only because Michelle got one… but she can’t add anybody or nothing so what’s the point? Oh… I found this 50’s video… it… just… oh my god… Can you believe that this was an actual tool used to educate children way back when? 0_o Amanda, if you could see this, you’d be enraged! Here’s something funny… kinda vulgar though… Um, so no school today… but Michelle is to come over. I’ll like that very much ^-^ Hm… I’m thinking I’m done so…. I’ll end with Sasu Naru pictures! Hoy! Weeee! Sorry… you know I had to work Shika in there somehow ^-^ Hm… better do it once more… Eheheheheh! Nice. Ok… that’s it… I’m tired. Have a gooday. ..::mDX::..

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Wednesday, April 4, 2007

   Stupid Stock Market...

Eh... I'm in school right now. Consumers Ed... I'm losing so much money in this virtual stock market thing we're doing. You see this... is why I have no money. Becuase I: -waste it -lose it sometimes -or have it stolen from me Meh... sorry. I'll make a real post tomorrow. Changed my theme, eh? Yes yes. I kinda like it... but... it is bright. Ok, so gotta go. I'll make my site rounds later. Sorry that I hadn't updated in quite some time. Spring Break and all... but I'm sure I already told you about that. ^-^ Bye bye! ..::mDX::..

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Monday, March 26, 2007

   This week off.

I won't be updating for this entire week. Spring break means absolute lazy fuck time! (wait... I'm a lazy fuck... I'm not going... to lazy... fuck o_o) However, I'll still be on, commenting and stuff. I'll accept messages too, but I'm just warning you so you know I'm not dead. Just on break ^^

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Sunday, March 25, 2007

The deed is done.

All my pics are officially up. T_T Tum 2 by ~mammaDX on deviantART

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   Picture titled one word

Yeah, I don't know if you remember me saying but I want to get into photography. Well, I did. I have seven pics already lined up to become deviations on the DA. But, I am quite hesitant. I'm a pretty shy person so I don't wanna put them up but at the same time I do. I'll describe them each to you guys. Some are kinda whorish. -well first two of them are somewhat regal. Their really gold and yellowish. Both are just me taking a pic of myself. So, yeah -Then I took a close up of my chin, for some odd reason -Then a purple shaded one where I'm holding my head (oh... and no face can be seen in any of them! HA! erm, sorry. Self conscious, I guess) but the only weird thing about it *whorish comes in now* I'm in a blouse and underwear 0_o -Then a orangey shaded one of the same concept as above. Slightly different pose. -Then a partial bra/belly shot -and then another one of the belly shot only i really like this one because I had my baggy sweater on... and I dunno, it looks cool Some look professionally done... but others not so much. And just now I'm noticing a lot of weird things about them but that's probably just because I'm being a freak... I guess here is a list of things that I noticed about them -it seems that my stomach absorbs camera flash, if possible, which I don't doubt. -my bra appears to be glittery... WHICH IT IS NOT!!! -my lips are extremely wet in the chin shot one -_- -one where I'm taking a shot of myself, my arms are close together making me look like a whore in the chest area! -I radiate alot ALOT of body heat. That or my mom's bedroom light is like a god light that emits gold color -I hate my hands... that's that. Hmmmmm that glitter thing is pissing me off. But yeah, I've decided to submit them. I'll do that now. BUT... by looking at those pictures you are agreeing to not blackmail me ^^ but, really I'm serious. Dare I send you the link? Ah... yeah. Why not. However I won't link it (then why call it a link, justine? dummy) Copy and paste my friends. http://mammadx.deviantart.com the photos my not be up for awhile I have to work up to it. Sorry that this post was boring... it was mostly a tool to give me some confidence. See you guys ^^ -mDX

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Saturday, March 24, 2007

   New theme…

..::..::..::..::..::.. Marth & Roy: Whoop-dy fuckin doo. ..::..::..::..::..::.. Ahh… sorry. I’m just so pissed right now. I can’t even explain it… well… yeah I can… but I don’t want to hurt any feelings -_-;; CAUSE I DON’T LIKE DOIN THAT… hurting people’s feelings >: ( ..::..::..::..::..::.. If anyone makes it worse… so help me… ..::..::..::..::..::.. I talked online for hours yesterday, though. It made things a little better until he had to leave at 11:18… which… blah… but he told me what happened to him a few days ago… he was hit on by an old lady… now my hate for old people is like… so much higher… why must they hit on the young’ns? Ewwwwwww…. Ew. ..::..::..::..::..::.. That is all. I’m off to a craft show which is another thing that I hate immensely. -I do nothing but sit there -I’m the only one wearing black ever so there are stares -OLD PEOPLE GALORE… my god! -My mom is uber pissed in the morning… and if she sells nothing… which is often -Who fuckin wants to buy a pen for $30? -It’s just stupid… -I’m done. ..::..::..::..::..::.. See you all later… ~mDX

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Friday, March 23, 2007

>:(

Very pissed right now... I'll explain later...

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Yeah...

Mr. Hostert: Heheheh… it’s not… but I did think about him when I found this. ..::..::..::..::..::..::..::.. Here’s another funny song ^.^ From the Bloodhound Gang… you know… the same people who did this one: Yush ..::..::..::..::..::..::..::.. I have the displeasure to announce that my Yaoi! Tribute video was flagged as inappropriate and banned from Youtube… just when it was doing well too… and IT WASN’T EVEN BAD! Sexually explicit… ha… I hate them… So anyway… I’ll be doing a more toned done Yaoi one but… that sucks… wah. Now to get some of it out of my system!!! Also in my fit of rage I made another yuri video!!! RAWR! ..::..::..::..::..::..::..::.. I think I'm going to get into self photography... I was browsing Deviantart's and some were amazing. (I was mostly looking at the nude ones... SHUTUP!) But... it's kinda weird but I want to do some too... now to get a camera. ..::..::..::..::..::..::..::.. Heheheheh… dialogue… Kermit the frog on weed: And to end with 70’s porn music: Oh GOD! I can’t stop laughing! I can’t even listen to more than 5 seconds of that… I just imagine Michelle doing weird things! Ah… yeah, I DAMN FORCYSTUS! Every time when I get those feelings! Eh….. byes!

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