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Meh? Gothic and an Anime-fan. That's all you need to know for now

Sunday, November 18, 2007

I haven' t been on here in like......EVER!!! Egads....ALOT has happenned since i've been on here...it's kinda scary, when i think about it.....how have you guys been? I see that the site itself hasn't changed much...that's good to know.....i kinda miss getting on here every day.....I think maybe i can try to at least get on here more often than i have been....well...bye!
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Monday, June 18, 2007

Can't sleep....can't eat right..and i feel sick...but it's not that kind of sickness...and it sucks...i've eaten nothing but Green tea and popcorn all day...i wore my self out hitting the punching bag and then went swimming...that was nice...i have Karate tonight and i'm kinda looking forward to it....

Being friends with someone who doesn't always want to be friends with you sucks...and it hurts...really bad...

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Saturday, June 16, 2007

I've been talking to my old Sensei alot here lately...I needed someone without a bias to talk to so, I found him..that and I really miss him..^^...I told him alot of what's been going on with me, first of all because he has a very clear head, and because he's my Sensei....he says having compassion on your enemies can only make you stronger..I really don't understand that..but I think I understand the part where he said it takes more strength to be kind to someone you hate, than to hit them...I understand that...I do..I think it's just the concept of it all that my mind is refusing to accept...

He told me that if I wanted to be close to him...I would have to lay down my pride and accept the fact that sometimes you can't always win with strength...but he also told me to think before I did anything....do I really want to lay down something I draw my greatest strength from..for someone who does not think I am worth the effort of being friends with, infront of his parents?.....Do I?

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Friday, June 15, 2007

Summer...eh...the heat.....
After getting home from ice skating today, i practiced my Tai-boxing(Muy Tai)...i've fallen in love with this song by Utada Hikaru:
Koi wo shite owari wo tsuge
Chikau koto wa kore ga saigo no HEARTBREAK
Sakura sae kaze no naka de
Yurete yagate hana wo sakasu yo
(Falling in love, saying goodbye
With a vow that this is the last heartbreak
Even the cherry tree, swaying in the wind
Will eventually blossom)
Furidashita natsu no ame ga
Namida no yoko wo tootta sutto
Omoide to DABURU eizou
Aki no DORAMA no saihousou
(The summer rain that started to fall
gently streaked past my tears
Images that resemble memories
Autumn's drama reruns )
Doushite onaji you na PANCHI
Nando mo kuracchaun da
Sore demo mata tatakaun darou
Sore ga inochi no fushigi
(Why have I suffered
Almost the same blows such countless times?
But even so, I'll probably fight again
That is one of life's mysteries)
Koi wo shite subete sasage
Negau koto wa kore ga saigo no HEARTBREAK
Sakura sae toki no naka de
Yurete yagate hana wo sakasu yo
(Falling in love, giving it everything
With a wish that this is the last heartbreak
Even the cherry tree, swaying through time
Will eventually blossom)
Kurikaesu kisetsu no naka de
Kutsu ga surihetteku motto
(In the revolving seasons
My shoes are wearing out, more and more)
Kata no chikara nuite
Kako wa dokoka ni shimatte oke
Koko kara sou tookunai darou
Mita koto mo nai keshiki
(Let go the tension in your shoulders
So you can seal away the past somewhere
From here they're probably not too far
Sceneries you haven't even seen)
Tomaranai mune no itami
Koete motto kimi ni chikazukitai yo
Hitomawari shite wa modori
Aoi sora wo zutto tesaguri
(I want to overcome the ceaseless pain in my chest
And become closer to you
I have wandered about once and returned
Always grasping for the blue sky)
Koi wo shite owari wo tsuge
Chikau koto wa kyou ga saisho no GOOD DAY
Sakura made kaze no naka de
Yurete sotto kimi ni te wo nobasu yo
(Falling in love, saying goodbye
With a vow that today's the first good day
Everything, even the cherry tree, swaying in the wind
Softly reaches out toward you)
Suki de suki de dou shiyou mo nai
Sore to kore to wa kankei nai
(I love you I love you, it can't be helped
That has nothing to do with this)

It's so pretty..^^..i like the english translation, but i think it would sound wierd if she sang it in english..i'm also addicted to the song, "Open your eyes" by the Guano Apes(weird name, i know..^^)...

Do you ever wish you could rewind time and erase some of the things that have happened, but then when you think about it, those things you want to erase are what made you who you are? Yeah..that's how i'm feeling right now...but i don't think my life would be that different if i erased this mistake..it would only take away some major hurt..which i think i could handle..but there are some things you can never change, no matter how hard you try...i wish i could just dissapear from his life and he would never give me another thought..though i would hate to be forgotten..i don't want to be forgotten...

Memory's are such a strange thing. I couldn't sleep at al last night so i somehow started remembering some of the things that happened to me when i was little..some made me laugh and smile but..others made me really sad..*sings along to "Hero" by Nickleback*....(link to awesome video below..)


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