Thursday, June 25, 2009

i just can't win for losing.
Fuck.
My.
Life.
where da fuck are joo cassie?
i need joo to be happeh.
i rely on cassie far to much.
oh well.
5 days.

I dont know if the "lol nice" comment is worthy of an x on the calender.
i mean...then i'd have to count the lovemeloveme to right?
ahahaha. i'm blowing this way out of poportion.
i don't even know if that words spelled right.
i don't care enough to find out.
i miss her FACE. ahahahaha.

fuck doctors appointments.

i should go hang with ryan hill one of these days and see if i can get really fucking stoned and see if I can forget about you.

theres something wrong with my knee.
theres something wrong with all of me.
-_-

Goodnight.
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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

next time i'll remember not to tell you something stupid like i'll never leave your side
;and just when I thought you'd forgotten about me.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Sometimes... Everything I do just screams gay. Oh well.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

My cousins dog is here. -_- I don't mind dogs, but this dog is like a cat who barks at every fucking thing that passes the house. Oh well.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I have to go to the doctor tomorrow. =\ I'm kinda.. really nervous because I don't know what's going to happen. I have a lot of paperwork to fill out today..

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

6 Days!! =D

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Later~
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Sunday, June 21, 2009

I'm killing lonliness with you,
the sun comes out when i start to close my eyes
falling asleep with laptop besides, and phone in hand.
it's not like i'm waiting for it.
i'm waiting for a new begining to and ending that isn't even in sight.
of course you where right,
the distractions make it dissapear.
but once theres a mention.
it's like it never went away
but believe me baby, i'm okay.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Happy Fathers Day.
:]

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

It's 5am.
I'll go to sleep soon and sleep until I don't know... noonish? lol.

9 days!

I've been listening to a lot of H.I.M It makes me miss nikky :[

my eye size= da moon

lolz. Oh webcam... you entertain me so.

Okay, yeah, I suppose sleep now?

-jenneh
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Saturday, June 20, 2009

russian roulette is not the same without a gun
:D :D :D :D :D :D

My mom has an obsession with Lady Gaga XD

Jordan and Rita stopped by last night. Rita scared the shit out of me because she ran into my window! XD So i sat out on the sidewalk with the two of them and we talked for a little while and they ended up playing piano and riding my skate board for awhile and then it started to rain so my mom drove them home. Jordan is going to Boston until wendsday.

We got a new kitchen table today. Haha XD

My friend Tylers dad died a couple days ago. :[ It makes me sad because Tyler is such a good kid, and I know he was pretty close to his dad. I guess he had a heart attack. I haven't seen him yet, but I want to go visit him soon.

Cassie's going to be here in 10 days :D :D :D :D

I can't wait because then I'll never be bored xD

Okay, okay gotta go. Moms in a cleaning mood. o_o! nuuu.

-jenneh
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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

It won't be like this for long
Whoa, whoa who said I was leaving?
I'm dissapointed that none of you got that reference besides Cassie. lol.

I kinda can't leave myotaku because it kind of already left me, if you catch my drift?

I just haven't really been a very positive happy person lately, but really when am I? lol. I'm starting to really annoy my self. And everyone else around me.

Here maybe this'll help;

mental breakdowns are only positive when traveling faster then the person next to you.
I guess you'd a had to have been there to understand,
but i'm tracing down directions to where...where was it that i said?
watching the sun set over you is the most beautiful sight i've never been able to see.
don't blame it on bad luck, blame it on me.
cuz' if love is all that matters then when did breathing come in?
I wanna steal his lines, but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me.
The way she stared at me like she saw him in me,
i know, i know, i'm practically a replica.
if I wasn't so damn stubborn I'd go out with the same big bang.
save my self the dramatics.
you're just a side effect of realizing reality.
and i'm just your long awaited reality check.
I don't mean to put you in the middle because I wanted you right where I had you,
but no one can ever have anything the way they want it.
I learned that the hard way.
learning is the easy apart, applying what i've learned and lived is what's killing me.
I should just let you be.
but then I wouldn't be me.
and I've never had such a weak ending.


--

I'm trying to be better, really, i'm trying.
she just keeps pulling me back in.

just to feel like you..

-jenny
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Sunday, June 14, 2009

Dear Myotaku,
You're not the same anymore.
Love always,
Jenny

P.S Stay gold otakuians
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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

they will never ever know..
well jesus christ, pardon me.
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Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I'm thinking about what i've given up.
It doesn't really even feel like summer vacation. At least the sun is shinning today though. The weather may have played a part in why I'm so god damn depressed lately. Maybe I'll walk up to the library this morning with my sister since we have nothing better to do and she wants a new book anyways. I'm already reading one but I suppose I could get a new one too. I need to get my fucking license.

I'm sort of pissed off because my mom has been working overtime all the fucking time lately. Yesterday she worked Nine hours and today she went in at 8 and I don't know how fucking long she'll work today. I just don't really get to see her anymore. Kinda crazy huh? a teenger who wants to see her mom. I'm just kind of sick of feeling like i'm the adult in the house. My sister can pretty much take care of her self but still. I've been inside the house for almost three days and it's driving me crazy. I kind of miss school. What the hell.

I kinda went crazy last night. It was kind of fun, but now everything on my body hurts.. Oh well. I'm just kind of pissed off at everything. I need a hobby eh?

I'd like...clean my room again today but it hurts to move. hahaha.

so much for going to the library.

another boring fucking day.

-jenny

ps. sorry about all the swearing. =\
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Monday, June 8, 2009

I don't mind if you don't mind, cuz I don't shine if you don't shine.
1. What happened between you and your enemy to cause you to become enemies?
...i don't have an enemy?
i just hate my exboyfriend
and he knows it.
I dont really know why I hate him.

2. Would you ever have a pot belly pig for a pet?
if I could keep it outside, yes.

3. Have you ever fought with a teacher during class?
Yes. that's how I got most of my detentions in middle school.

4. How about after class?
this would have been when the.. 'go to hell' jesuit incident would have happened.

5. Has anybody ever walked in on you singing in front of your mirror?
uhm, no. but i sing everywhere so it doesn't really matter.

6. Do you even sing and dance in front of your mirror?
uhm.. I'm sure I have.

7. What is the most played song on your ipod?
the [shipped] gold standard-fall out boy
wouldn't you like to know why? hah.

8. Second?
we are broken-paramore

9. Third?
read my mind-the killers

10. Fourth?
even if it kills me-motion city soundtrack

11. Fifth?
trouble-never shout never

[*Love and Relationships;;]


12. What is your relationship status right now?
physically single,
emotionally attached.

13. Have you ever dated somebody strictly to improve your social status?
I dont think so.
but i think it helped.

14. Have you ever dated somebody one of friends didn't get along with?
haha yeah.

15. Have you ever been made fun of for dating a certain person?
yes. to this day i get made fun of for dating richard. by my mother the most.

16. Did you keep going out with them anyways, or did you dump them?
I always stood up for him, idk why.

17. Who was your first love? How old were you guys while you were in love?
IM NOT GOING TO LIE.
I WAS IN LOVE WITH CLAY AIKEN.
12?!

18. Do you still keep in contact with that person?
totally.

19. Was your first kiss sweet or awkward?
it was a wtf. awkward cuz' he kissed my mom afterwards. D:

20. Who was the first person to break your heart?
lauren :o

21. Have you forgiven them? Do you think you ever will?
yeah.
because i'm a suckerrr.

22. If you could say one last thing to the guy who hurt you most, it would be:
i'm not going to sit here and yell at my dad. wtf.

[*Friends and School;;]

23. Who are your eight closest friends?
Cassie, Megan, Danielle, Nikky, Belinda, Joe, Jordan, Rita,

24. Who is your best friend of the same sex?
Cassie.

25. Your best friend of opposite sex?
Joe!

26. Who was your first best friend?
Rocio?

27. Is that person still your best friend?
I never talk to her anymore. =/

28. If so, how long have you been friends? If not, what happened?
moving.

29. Do you have any friends who get on your nerves a lot?
a few.

30. Are there people you only put up with because another friend likes them?
sometimes i think so..

31. What grade are you in at school?
Junior.

32. Do you like your school, or are you dying to get out?
I'm dying to get out.
but i'm sure i won't feel that way when graduation rolls around.

33. Are you graduating this year?
2011

34. Does your school have dances?
yes.

35. Who was the last person you slow danced with at a school dance?
jordan :o

36. Have you ever been caught texting during class?
yes, lolz.

37. Did it result in you getting your phone taken away?
nope. cuz' stritch is coooool. :D

----------------

i'm alive.
by heart beating standards anyways.



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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

if you're lost you can look and you will find me
Today is Tuesday.
that's good I think.
but will probably cause me problems
i got blood drawn today.
they couldn't find a vein so i got poked a million times.
it wasn't pleasant :[
Oh well.
the blood looked reallllly cool though.
i have to go back next monday for results
and my moms trying to put me in therapy.
hah, it's amazing how far she's come.
weird.
anyways.
yeah.
it's lunch time.
This day needs to be over alreadyyy.

later

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