Thursday, September 4, 2008

Facepalms all around everybody!
-Possible Massive Rant-

It's already been established that I'm vitrually screwed in this little game we call life. There's a saying for "if it can go bad, it will", but I'm not entirely sure, probably just the pessimism in me or something doing that kind of thinking. I'm used to it, amazingly enough. Sucks being in a town like mine where there are NO options available for better jobs for those who don't have...connections...so to speak. If you don't know the right people, you're pretty much boned and have to work your typcial places here. Fast food or at a store if you're lucky, or unlucky in my case.

You know, I was gonna go into a rant about how incredibly lame work has been lately, but I think I'll just shut up about that before I get started, because it's only gonna get worse. But, I'll still say this much, people suck...most of the time. In most public places they'll put on a facade and act all friendly and whatever, until they're on the road/at Wal-Mart (prime example). It's gotten to the point, that if I ended up turning into some kinda (bigger) anti-social dude or hermit...hikikomori...whatever, I totally wouldn't mind. Hell, the people I work probably hate me, due to the fact that I told them when I'm off the clock, I don't know them. Which to a certain point is too true, because only a few would be considered peers, and the rest are all adults and stuff. "When the badge is on, I might respond to you guys, when its off you guys are just people that work here." I probably sounded like a jerk, but that can't be helped because I've always been blunt when I needed to say something.

What also irks me whenever I see all these..."fake" people roaming around. Probably shouldn't use fake, but I can't think of anything else, but eh. I'm walking around, minding my own business or working, and then suddenly someone will come up say, "What's up?" or some variant of wanting to know how you're doing. I think that's more of a peeve for me, along with accidentally nearly making eye contact with someone, and they smile or greet you or something. Now, I know some people are just being friendly, but I've put up with too many other people who've done this...Employees are the worst when they do this, especially when they ask "What's up?" then another 5 minutes later they ask that again. On that subject, one of the employees had the nerve to shorten my name, not like you can really do that, but he did. Yeah...I don't need a guy calling me Hen or Henhen, I mean, damn, I don't think I'd even let a girl get away with that, close or not (lol close).

I think stress is actually getting to me, because I don't remember normally doing all this crap. I mean, it doesn't seem like a big deal in my head, but while I'm typing all this out, I'm thinking, holy crap I think I'm coming off as a jerk or something. Not that that's gonna stop me, since I don't really have anyone to talk to about it here. Parents are out of the question because of recent split, and well, my mom is basically rooommates with the neighbor (for a while anyway), and my dad is still having a ball shooting down my way of life and how I do things. It's not a big deal, yet its brought up anyway, namely me wearing my jacket whenever I go out, my "I don't care about the thoughts of the masses" attitude, and me being stuck with a part time job. The stuff about me personally I shrug off because I'm not changing just so he feels better, but the part-time job can't really be helped though, especially when they KEEP you from getting full time hours. Although at my rate I'm amazed I'm still working there. Gotta fill their quota I suppose.

Speaking of which, since technically today is thursday, I have work in like, 12 hours, most of which will be spent trying to sleep or finding something worthwhile to do until the grind again.

I have no idea how long its been since I've posted here, heck, I haven't even checked my mail lately, not like there'll be anything to read anyway that's not spam or anything. I'll probably end up checking it and then going to bed, and I didn't even get what I wanted done.

Making a new CD = Nope
Making an Imeem thingie for here = Nope
....Guess that was it.

For those who skimmed, I don't really have a TL;DR version, sorry.
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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Getting into the swing of things again...
/facepalm
You know, after reading that title I should probably change the title, what with the massive playing of a certain game I got, that's brand spanking new. I decided to try out Bionic Commando Rearmed, and I'm hooked (dammit, another pun). Basically, you're a special ops agent in search of your organizations top soldier. Sure the plot didn't change too much from the original, except for the content a little, more on that in a sec. Now for the Bionic part of the game, which is pretty much your entire arm, and if used properly can get pretty much anywhere you need to go (you can't jump). It's deceptively fun, and the challenge mode is classic 80's-rip-your-hair-out hard. Although today, and I hope I'm not jynxing myself, so far I hold rank #1 on IGN's hidden, first to do it also.

Oh yeah, the minor changes about that game. Back when it first came out, it was basically the same gameplay wise, except instead a nameless enemy, you fought Hitlers minions. Yeah, you heard me, Nazi's were the enemy and all that jazz, and when you finally fight Hitler (who was resurrected by the enemy) you end up blowing him up to bits. Literally, head asplodes, but not too graphic...on the NES anyway.

Well, that was my attempt at starting things off on a good note. Nothing really happened today, other than heavy rain that I couldn't enjoy. I had dinner in the car and I wasn't gonna let it get cold. Then again, the only reason I even got it was because I had coupon for it in my Soul Calibur manual. I...don't know why it had one, but the spicy chicken was worth it.

Anyway, I don't know where to begin, so I'll probably lay off the ranting of whatevers going on in the inner workings of my mind or something. As for work, I get payed...ok I guess, but the thing is, I've been here for almost a full year, and I'm still treated like a peon.

Bleh, gonna check on my records, and get some sleep.
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Monday, August 18, 2008

Blah, there's like, no ambience here...
(Okay, I need to stop being distracted by other windows.)

Ah, just got out the shower, fan is on, got a nice cool breeze going on...and the noise of a blender on this cursed TV guide channel because nothing is on, and I need some BGN (Background Noise in case you're having a brain fart). I think I'm gonna start off by responding to last posts comments, which I need to keep a closer eye on. Yeah, I'd be on every night if, I dunno....FATE would allow me, but you know what keeps me from doing so.

Yes, another short paragraph of me venting, but I gotta or else I'll asplode from RAGE (I need to stop that). I've officially come to the conclusion that the work I do is totally meaningless. Here's the dirt, I'm actually taking care of broken glass and frames and stuff when out of the blue one of millions of the managers here says, "Oh, I've been looking for you!" I sigh, and slowly as usual give her a heal-hearted "What" as I follow her. She pulls up a chair, gets someone to drag out a shredder, and drops off tons of stacks of paper, and assigns me the task of watching an open door. Oh, and to shred as much paper as possible. Mind you I'm still holding broken items in my hand, and ANOTHER manager walks by saying, "No matter, don't leave that spot, even if you have to clock out", and by clock out obviously I couldn't leave on time. Time to cut this shorter than intended, and just say, the things I do don't matter, and I don't even have the urge to walk tomorrow. I ALMOST know how a certain person feels, but for completely different reasons, I just wish I had a job where I made a decent difference / I'm not the whipping boy.

...I said I was gonna start off with responses...man I'm bad.
Starting off with good ol' Angel, negative on catching Z's. I hit the hay at like, 4am and woke up at 8 for no reason. Just shot up in the bed, saw the time, groaned, and layed back down until it was almost ready to leave. Well, gave myself an hour or two, but eh. I'm bad at splitting my time up for things that are important. Like at this very instant, its 3:09 a.m. and I should be sleeping, because I have work from 12-5 today. But again, what with today being utter "ugh", I've lost the urge to even bother. It's my friday anyway, so I'll probably use my time applying in other places so I can hopefully get a more flexible schedule, because despite having no life, I'd like to get home before 10:30 at night, and basically having to go to bed right away (which I haven't) if I want decent sleep, but, you know the deal.

Redmoon, the only way for me to have a start at getting better would probably be hypnosis. Shame you have to believe in it for it work, or so it seems, because I wouldn't mind fogetting a majority of this emotionally baggage on my back. Not getting involved in the parental dispute made no difference, but it DOES effect you in one way or another. It pretty much ruined my view of marriage and relationships and all that jazz. I already didn't think too much about them in the first place, but thanks to them I'm almost at the "Why bother?" brink. But there's probably an exception I'd make, but that's like, a 1 in a million chance if that. Not to sound pessimistic, but I used to sound happy? Probably, but I had more OOMPH I think.

Blane, you're new, so I'm gonna have to visit your page or something, because well, you came outta nowhere. Thought you were someone I knew, because you had Hoshi in your name.

I'm slowly forgetting what all I was saying before I answered those. I guess I could try to make some sense on my own then. Um, I finally got a 360, my sis is crazy, I still have to pay to take that test, and...think that's it. Time to end this night with a fancy glass of S.Milk, not like the night can get any worse than what already happened, right?

(I'm a bad guy, aren't I?)
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Saturday, August 16, 2008

Quick Post
Yeah, I was kinda out all night randomly fixing crap up and well, I didn't get home until like, 3 or something, so I had no time to get anything ready. That and well, I was uber tired.

So I'm gonna try and get away with this post until tonight, provided I make it through the night.
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