Sunday, October 3, 2004

part two my my story. If you havn't read the first part scroll down to it.

Chapter 2 The clock next to my bed says it is 3am. I’ve been waking up at this time for a few days now and as always my thoughts float to Phillip. I try a different scene for my play: The day begins with a dark a dreary sky. School that day is very solemn. No one seems to be able to think strait. I walk as though my whole world had died, for it should have. My best friend had died in a horrible car accident that weekend. Lunch was dead to me. The laughter that had once played here was long since gone. My food lays untouched in front of me. The others are the same way. Cold steel rests against my lap. With a deep sigh I look at the others. ‘I’ve lost everything dear to me.’ I try to tell them. Gritting my teeth I feel the sharp pain. Warm blood flows from my body as I stare back at my friends horrified face… The alarm clock goes off next to my bed. I must have fallen back asleep for I jerk at the ringing. Sighing I turn it off. Time to get ready for the day. ****** Math class. Who ever was the first one to think up math must have been a really boring person. I get it sure but it is just so boring. 10 minuets left of class. The teacher gives us the rest of the time to work on our homework. Yeah right. I take out my notebook and get out a pen. My mind wanders to many different things. I read in a book once that the best way to relieve stress is to write what ever comes to your mind. Therefor putting my pen to the paper I write. It means not what The world it is It thinks not who Thyin own world be Understand not Live to be And yet it rains Endlessly Be it here Be it there Remember not Remember there Live to be Live to know Thy heart is all Thy own world be Crappy, I think, but I feel better. Writing words that mean nothing relates to me. Just like my life. I hear the bell ring and I quickly put everything away. Schools have gotten so crowded and I’m not a big fan of people. They annoy the heck out of me. A person is fine but people? They move around like a flock of birds that don’t know where to go unless led there, stupid people. My next class is creative writing. I love it. I can write all hour and not get in trouble. It has become my sanctuary away from the world. But today I can hardly think about the story I started. My mind drifts to this boy named Phillip. For two years I’ve liked him from afar. Last year I told him I liked him, well, loved him and it didn’t go over well. I guess he didn’t see the same things I did. We are perfect for each other. Why can’t he see this? We both like poetry, plays, card games… Even if we like different kinds of games we still both love playing games. We are perfect, don’t you think so? Emotion is the river of stress It brings no end It brings no rest It is all there is It is all ever was Yet I need something more That can not be This is not me And never will be Forget me I have lunch next. He always sits behind me. He’s facing me but my back is to him. I rely on my friends to tell me if he’s looking toward me. Walking to lunch I see him before I sit down. I love his eyes. They always draw me in. He has the ability to make me weak with his eyes. They are such a green as is hypnotizing. Sometimes I find myself unable to talk around him. I try not to look into his eyes, stupid eyes. Oh how I love his eyes. Lunch is all to short of me. I have no classes with him. I won’t see him anymore that day, unless I pass him in the hall, which I take different routes to see if I can. 5th and 6th hour come and go. I meet my friend in the hall. She has a face like ‘you gonna kill me if I tell you but…’ I just give her a look back that said, ‘you’d better tell me or else’ “Calla, your not gonna like what I have to tell you…” She starts “Come on spill it!” I almost shout back. She leans in and whispers, “Phillip has a girlfriend” I stare blankly back at her, “What? Who? When?” “Last night, Becky Brown…” I don’t wait to see if she had anything else to say. I could feel my heart breaking… this was yesterday. I have yet to be able to even look at him in the face. Why did he have to ask her out? Yes, he was the one that asked her out and not her asking him out. This is so unfair. I liked him longer. I tried to cry last night. But as always I couldn’t. My body was still in too much shock. This began my downward spiral into a deep depression.

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