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Monday, August 15, 2005


WARNING
There has been a recent increase in red ninja attacks. Please exercise extreme caution while on this site. Any fatalities are not the responsibility of usfbeefburger. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!
Comments (3) | Permalink

not every guy is a perv
ok, way too many girls assume every guy on the net wants to screw them. yes there are a lot nerds out there how only have the guts to hit on u when u cant see them, but im not one of them. so plz dont threaten me with ur bf, or ur dad, or ur brother. heck, if u do ill be tempted to hit on u just to get a good fight BUT I DIGRESS, i am not perv. not that i dislike naked ladies, im just not a perv. ty, and good day to u sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!!
Comments (8) | Permalink



Sunday, August 14, 2005


battle





If you were on a battlefield right now, versus everything...
Name
Gender
Age
Lover or a Fighter?
Fight for good or evil?
Battle Cry
Weapon of Choice Nerf Bat
Appearance Streeth Clothes, sneaking in on foot without being seen
Your Battle Cry... Incites laughter
Foes slain upon first strike: - 90%
What you fight Giant Bugs
You fight.... Because the only wasted ammo is the ammo not expended
This quiz by Ferggs - Taken 104693 Times.
New! Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz


Comments (1) | Permalink

another cool story to read by the camp fire
My Sins Forgiven

I can't sleep. I'd hoped the sound of the rain would help me sleep since the pills never dull the pain the slightest bit. Stupid therapists. They think they know everything, but they can't even find the problems in my life. How can "professionals" that costs as much as they do, be so absolutely useless!?! Just great, another night without sleep. Not that I really enjoy sleep that much. Every time I do manage to close my eyes for an hour or two I just end up having those insane nightmares. None of them make sense. It's almost like--forget it, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that I'm awake at four in the morning watching some infomercial about "The Schwartz Dog Trimmer". A complete waste of my time. You know what, I'm gonna get a drink--in Mexico.


....


"Please fasten your seatbelt......," said the annoyingly happy voice over the intercom.
I can't understand how someone can be so happy when we've been flying for twelve hours. I've got a crick in my neck that feels like I fell down a staircase, and you know-what? I'm hungry. I'm *%$=ing hungry and I want some peanuts! "Stewardess! Stewardess!"
"Excuse me, Sir, but we prefer to be called flight attendants."
I can't believe this *^*%! So much PC crap that you can't get anything done anymore. Stup-
"Excuse me,Sir, but did you want something?"
"Yes, Stewardess" Tell me how to talk. "I would like some peanuts or whatever else you call food on this flying tin can."
"I would appreciate it if you were a little bit more polite when-"
"Just get me my food, alright."
The flight attendant scowled and began to walk back down the aisle. Wow, she's got a nice backside. Maybe I should be nicer to her when she gets back. I think I'll give 'er a tip, a nice haaaaard tip. Of course there could always be someone even better looking. That blonde looks pretty good. Forget the blonde, I want that hispanic number. Am I kidding myself. Someone like that obviously has a boyfriend. I wonder if it's that guy who's sitting next to her and staring right at me. Big fella, too. Odd, he's not looking at my face, he's staring right at my heart. This is kinda creepy, I usually drool like that about women.
The "Big fella" was white, had long stringy black hair, and was wearing clothes that looked like he had mugged a hobo.
I guess I should say hello to the competition. A good-old fashioned wave. Heeellooo.
The "Big fella" waved back with a hand that was grotesquely deformed. Instead of five fingers of normal size, there were two large and malformed fingers without nails.
What the ^&$# is that. I'm on the plane to a circus freak-show. And where are my peanuts. That *&%$ stewardess better get back here soon. Lobster boy is still staring at me. He must really hate people eye-balling little miss hot body.
"Caine," said a voice that sounded as if it had to struggle to pronounce the word.
My chest! Why does it feel so warm? I'm having a heartattack. Damn. And was that "Big fella" talking just now. Yep. I wonder what's on the back of my head that is so interesting.
"Excuse me,Sir, but could you please sit back down in your seat until we land."
Yeah. Sure. Whatever honey. "Sit down? I'm having a heart attack!!"
"Yes,Sir. I have your peanuts right here," she said as she handed the bag over ", Now please sit down." Her came pushed down on his shoulder to get him back into his seat. "Thank you." Let's see how long she let's me keep my hand on hers. She pulled back with such speed that she hit her hand on the back of the forward seat, jolting the sleeping occupant awake.
"I'm sorry, Mam, you can just go back to sleep," said the stewardess as she turned back, giving a smile that was obviously fake and then walked away again.
Oh well, there's always tomorrow, if I live. Now back to that perfect 10 behind me. My God, if he's real, Big fella is still boring a hole through my head with his eyes. I hope he doesn't go for other men. And did he call me Caine?
Big fella waved again and said ",Caine." A large, almost child like smile crossed his face. Ok, I'm dying. My heart's doing the warm thing all over again and the retard over ther-oh. Now I get it. He's a little bit dumber than your average rock. He must call everyone Caine. That means long legs is probably just his sister or a nurse of some sort. Thank you God, once again, if he's real. The pleasant sound of a bag tearing open announced to his stomach that food was coming soon. Now I just have to get her to look at me and stop my heart from exploding.
"This is the captain speaking, we'll be landing soon.-" ^$&*. I was hoping to get some.


....


This is the dirtiest bathroom I have ever seen. You think with the amount that they charge for a hotel room they could at least afford to put a light bulb in that doesn't flicker constantly. I'm glad I'm not epileptic And the toilet? There is no way on "God's" green earth that I am coming within ten feet of that diarrhea coeverd cesspool. At least the sink has water and soap so I can shave off the stuble I have as my only acquisition so far on this trip. The next thing I'm going to do is find out why my heart felt like it was wrapped in a cozy blanket. There are good doctors in Mexico, right? The stall at the farthest end of the room opened and the woman from the flight stepped out of it with a large smile. Yes. Okay. Okay. Remember your name. Use the mirror to watch her cross the room. If you seem to eager, she may charge more. I wonder if she was in the stall with some one?
"Hello Handsome. I noticed you looking at me on the plane."
I'm gonna have a heart attack. Oh Yeah. My heart's just gonna pop in my chest.
"I was wondering if you were interested in more that just -staring- at my legs."
Look at the way she swings her hips while she walks! Dead. I died and I went to heaven.
"Heaven. Believe me Caine," by now she had crossed the room and was standing right behind him," I have nothing to do with heaven." This time, instead of a warm glow, his heart felt as if a knife had been shoved through it.
Did she read my mind? She wrapped an arm around him and turned him around. Long legs smiled again, and this time her teeth were just a liiiittle bit sharper than before. "I really am going to die." The expression on her face changed from the jubilant smile to a look of pure hatred as the bathroomdoor opened.
"Caine," said the goofy smile of Lobster boy as he walked into the room. Now his chest fluctuated between intense pain and the fireplace tranquility. Is he even taller than before? What a stupid thought.
"Sword, you have no right to be here. Not that it matters. I killed this whelp last time you tried to stop me and I'll do it again," she said as her grip tightend so much that the room began to grow even darker.
Hey God, here I come. Question. When I get to you, will there be a mint on my pillow?
"No Caine, you will never see Go- accchhssss!," black and yellow liquid began to run out of her mouth and the room came back into focus. The balance in his ribs shifted back to the side he liked least.
"Caine," said the child's voice,tipping the scale of pain/pleasure to a more neutral level. His deformed left hand pulled away from Long leg's back, and then kept pulling back as glowing white blade came out with his hand. It looked like wisps of solidified light had taken the general form of a sword extending out from between his two wretched fingers. "Okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Let's make a deal though. Stop saying Caine, and I won't sue you." It must that name. I know, it's voodo. Maybe one of the women I slept with. Racheal? I knew she was into that stuff, but I didn't think it was real. So it was a bad idea to sleep with her sister. And look at my clothes. They've got that mutant's bile and blood all over them. I need a napkin. Scratch that, I need a new set of pants to wipe this pair with. What do I do about this quivering corpse on the floor. I mean, I've got a wannabe-Jedi and a dead demon laying on my shoes, which are now completely ruined. "Well, good-bye."
"What? I go with Caine," and all argument ended as "Big fella" picked him up by his collar and carried him out of the room.


....


The hallway darkend as he walked down it. Lockers on both sides of his body rippled inwards if they were too close to him. His skin was the blue of a drowned corpse and his smile was that of a man who enjoys what he does. With each foot fall, a sound that was both crackling bones and laughter haunted the air around him.
They all have no idea that they are about to die.
Just by looking at it, he locked the door that was one of the few remaining exits in the school. Metal fused to metal as the heat of his glare caused the steel double doors to sweat liquid metal along their hinges.
The only other ways out are the windows, and most of those are on the upper floors! This is gonna be great. Son of God! "HahahahahaHHaa" I doubt he knows what a pain he is. Too bad. If his daddy had taken the time to tell what he was, maybe he would have a chance.
A teacher walked out into the hall and gurgled blood as a blade grew out the "man's" elbow and slid straight into the educator's heart. All that the janitor down the hall saw was the lights flickering out in a continuing line down the hall.
"Damn it. I told the principal the wiring was going bad, but nooo. No one listens to the stupid janitor," he said as turned to go inform Principal Stall of the problem. Behind him, the darkness progressed down the hall, leaving behind it a mummified corpse with a hole in its chest.
That old man thinks he's going to just walk away from me, the CorpseEater!
Door's swung open down the hall as the bell for lunch rang and a throng of elementary students stepped out into the hallway.
Too bad he won't live to see twelve again because I'm going to-
"Sorry to interrupt your regurlarly scheduled programming,but we have just recieved an almost unbelievable report. An entire elementary school has been murdered. The number of casualties is estimated to be upwards of 2,000 deaths. There were no survivors. All of the bodies found were decayed to the point that even dental records failed to identify the victims. Forensics teams are at a complete loss as to the murders or the damage to the school itself occurred. I don't know about our viewers, but this reporter fears for the future of our country when such a thing can happen with only reports of a 'moving darkness' from eyewitnesses. Good night and God have mercy on us all."


....


"You realize you killed someone. I mean, you can't just go around killing anyone you want to. It's just not done! And we're in Mexico. Oh no. Even if I turn you in, they'll call me an accomplace and send me away for a thousand years! I don't know how to fight. I'm a womanizer not a killer, which you are. Stop smilng like that you idiot, errr, special person...you."
Across from "Caine", the "Big Fella" was sitting a log smiling like he had just won the lottery.
"I save Caine, Caine friend," said the child's face.
"You don't even understand do you. In your mind you did a good thing. I can't take this." An evil grin spread acoss "Caine's" face. "How about you wait here, while I, go and find some to fix the junk heap of a car!" He punctuated his sentence by smashing his foot into the grill of the car, which promptly fell off. "No. Ok. I'm gone."
"I go with Caine." And he began to folllow "Caine" with his massive grin.
"No! Don't you dare-"
"SSSHHHHH!," was all "Big Fella" said before he jumped and pushed "Caine"
"OH MY GOD! HE'S GONNA RAPE MEEEE! Please don't. I'm no goo-"
This time "Caine was interrupted by the feel of a gun barrel against the back of his head.
"Quieries vos ropas y vos dinero ,mis amigos," said a voice from behind the gun.
"What? I don't know any spanish!"
"Ahhh. You are Americans then?," said a heavily accented voice. "It would be -uhh- to your advantage if you did exactly as -um- we says you to do."
"What you want Caine and I do?"
"How about you @#$&ing gringos hand us all of your clothes, your car, and then dig your own graves.," said the man who appeared to be the leader of the little group of bandits. He punctuated his sentence by shooting "Big fella" in the leg. He immediately fell to the ground and began trying to stand back up using one good hand and one good leg.
"If you're just going to kill us anyway, why should we dig the graves?," asked the ever sarcastic "Caine."
"Caine right. Bad men must leave," said "Big fella", who had some how stood back up and healed his leg.
"Now how did you do that you capitalist scum bag?," his said to the background of his compatriots laughter. Their laughter stopped when light began to eminate from the stub of Sword's hand, and the mist shaped like a sword grew back out. "El Diablo! Tenemos que salir, mis amigos!" They began to open fire, but the glowing expanded out to absorb all of the bullets as Sword began to walk towards with a smile which had appeared to be innocent only seconds before. The bandits continued to fire even as they ran away from the wrecked car and its odd owners.
"I am not alive right now. I am in Hell. This is the only possible anwer. In one day, I miss my flight home, am almost
killed twice, and am traveling with a murder. Wait! Make that was traveling, at least until my car BROKE DOWN!," the last syllable being said so forcefully that spittle flew from his mouth. "And what about the warm sensation? It stopped happening."
"I know you Caine. I no need to look at heart anymore," said Sword.
"I am not "Caine." My name is....is...I can't remember my name. You did this. No. It must have been when that hooker started to choke me. That's it. I'm brain damaged. Something else to add to the list."
I have to get away from him now.
"No Caine, you don't."
"What? You sounded so different that time. What are you?"
"It no matter. The car is working now."
"What?"
The shocked look on Caine's face made Sword laugh even as the sound of the revving engine filled the air.
"I know place to stay."
"O.K."


....


The feelling of a cool breeze across his face woke him. Above him, a tree blocked the heat of the brightly burning sun. A tinckling Grassland and beautiful hills stretched for eternity before under a bright shinnng sun. The grass bowed under the weight of a gentle wind. Caine looked up to see a sun which looked like it would never stop smiling no matter how old it became. Out in the middle of the field, a beautiful stood in the middle of the field. He started to walk towards her with a smile on his lips. She returned his with an even warmer one. She's absolutely gorgeous. Oh, he thought as his gaze meandered down her body. Her stomach was swollen with pregnancy. For the first time in his life, Caine felt guilty about wanting a woman. The hell is this. Since when do I act like a pussy about a pussy.
"How are you Caine? I mean, are you happy with your life?"
"I am now, or at least I hope to be after you have that kid."
Then she laughed and the beauty of the landscape became meaningless compared to the sheer overwhelming joy he felt after that sound. His knees buckled and his head rolled back. What is wrong with me? I didn't get this happy when those models who were twins let me do whatever I wanted to them.
"You may not understand now, but you will soon Caine."
Then the sky turned to a black which felt like all of the evil of the world was covering the sky. I have to get her out of here. The clouds began to swirl above the woman, who was trying to run, but she simply couldn't run fast enough. A shape began to form in the clouds, a giant face. It's eyes found Caine and any thought he had of going to save that woman died. It's mouth opened and lightning crackled across its open mouth, and even though no sound came out, Caine knew in his heart ,and his soul?, that it was laughing. The mark upon his chest began to burn more than it ever had before in his laugh. It's going to eat her, I just know it.
"Caine, please help me!"
His knees gave again, but not out of joy. The face opened and lunged straight for her.
"I'm sorry, I can't do it. I'm just not strong enough,'' he sputtered through his tears of pain and fear.
And then Caine woke up.

....


In a sewer under the straights of a small Mexican city, a dark shape slid up out of the blood streaked water. A corpse lay nearby on the ground. It was a rotted and fetid thing after only twenty minutes of being dead.
"Aaahhh, my old friend. I can smell you from an eternity away. You always did screw at protecting Caine. How many times did you fail to save him from me? HAHHAHAHHAAAH!
The stride of that thing of the dark one again conveyed its pure confidence. Caine may come back as many times as possible. But if I keep killing him, he won't be around to save that little wench. After that, I get to kill whomever I want to. I love being me."
It broke out into an open run and covered the distance it had to in almost no time at all.
Her smell is strong, too. To think he tried to hide her in some little log cabin out in the woods. How pitiful. I guess he'll never learn.


....


"Ooohhh my God, what is going on in my life?!?," the mark was lit up like a christmas tree.
Caine found himself laying on a chruch pew. The high arches, statues of saints, and the rows of candles hinted that it was a catholic church.
"Why am I in a church?," he said as he wiped a tear off of his face.
He stood and started to walk for the door. I guess the killing machine must have dumped me here and taken my car. That's just great. Now I have to walk back to whatever craphole they call civilization in Mexico.
"So you are Caine," said a voice from behind him.
"Why am I talking to you?"
"I think you know why."
"I don't even know why I'm here."
"Most people don't," he said with an all knowing nod.
"Are you some weird priest who gets a kick out of screwing alter boys and messing with the heads of anyone who comes to this empty house?"
"I can say this, I'm not a priest."
"I'm leaving."
"You're going to go on foot?"
"You saw him leave me here?"
"I helped him carry you in as a matter of fact. You're friend. Sword was it? He's got a problem which he feels has gone on long enough. Don't worry, he'll bring back your car when he's done."
"So what am I supposed to do? Just wait here?"
"I'll say it again, I think you know why," his finger pointed straight at the pew where Caine had been sleeping.
"So you're pyschic now. How interesting." Caine began once again to head for the door, but stopped to say ",In case you didn't notice, that was sarcasm."
"You can change what happened to that woman."
"What the $@#^ do you know about what goes on inside my head!?! Now shut up, or tell me the nearest place to sleep!"
"Right upstairs." This time his finger pointed at the roof.
At that moment something snapped inside of Caine and he knew he didn't have the strength to go on any farther than he already had. All right, I'll stay here. Caine headed toward the door to the stairs with a shuffle that resembled the pace of a zombie.
"I'm glad you decided to stay."
Don't ask. Just wander up to the bed, get some sleep, and go do what you have to do.
"That's true, you have a busy day ahead of you."
"What--What is happening?"
"You really don't know who you are do you?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about?"
"Fine, I'll make it simple. You. Are. Caine." His face had look which mad it seem like the last sentence should have explained every wrong in the world. "By the look on your face I'll guess that what I said didn't help at all. You ever read the Bible."
Wow. He's completely insane. Of course that could explain the mark. Nooo. But..But..
"I'm going to bed." With that he made a bee line for the stairs.
Out of nowhere, the man was holding Caine back. The mark sent a surge of energy running Through Caine at the man's touch.
"I have to apologize Caine, but I can't let you rest just yet."
"How can I be Caine?"
"A decision you made a long time ago. The mark is simply a constant reminder of what you did."
"So how have I lived this long?"
"You haven't. Every time you died, he simply brought you back as the child of another person."
"Does that mean I've been a girl?," said Caine as he began to life.
"How do you always manage to think of the least important things? Anysways, your friend needs your help."
"That maniac couldn't possibly need my help."
"Everyone has a limit. Now come on, as well as limit, everyone can have forgiveness."
Caine gave him another lost and confused look. This time the only response was a hand turning Caine around and steering him towards the door.
"You don't have that much left to do Caine. Just do one last thing, live a little, and then come home son."
Then Caine was being pushed out the door, as fell to the ground outside, he looked back at the man who was his father. The ground was much harder than he remembered it being, and lights went off in front of his eyes. As soon as his visioned cleared he immediately lept up. All that was left of the building was some broken slats of wood and a bicycle which looked as if it might hold his weight.
"All right, one last thing." With this, hoped onto the bike and started to pedal in the direction that the tire tracks on the ground went.


....


The car engine died down and Sword stepped out into the open air. An oppressive, yet calming, silence covered the forest around him. In the near distance he could see the shack where she was staying. And of course,nearby, was the mine where Sword kept the weapons.
"This is why I protect. The quiet and the beauty of world untainted."
"Sword, how are you!"
Sword turned to see her running towards him, or trying to run. Her pregnancy had gone to the point that she soemtimes had difficulty walking. The flowers she had just picked where getting crushed in her hands as she tried to balance herself. Seeing her trouble, Sword glided over to her side with a grace which you would not expect.
"Relax," and then the child's smile returned to his face.
"Where does that intelligence go when you're not using it," she smiled and tapped him on the nose with one of the fllowers.
"Stay inside."
"But it's gorgeous outside. Can't I stay out here just a liitle bit longer?"
"Danger. Inside."
"Oh, alright." And with that he picked her up and headed for the shack. Halfway there, Sword stopped and surveyed the surrounding area. "What's wrong."
"Walk and goodbye."
"Sword," but he had already put her down and light began to shine from his deformed left hand. She stood and slowly walked to the cabin, looking back constantly to eye the expression on Sword's face.
"I was wondering why the birds had stopped singing."
Sword.
"Come out CorpseEater."
If you say so.
She had made almost no progress with her pregnant waddle when the trees ahead of her exploded with the entrance of CorpseEater. His body made a majestic arc through the air as he passed through a number of exaggerated tucks and rolls.
"Are not I superior to you in every way."
Sword's answer was to fully extend the blade from his arm to charge.
"You always were pretty stupid, Sword."
Sword came down with a downward slash that would split an oak in half, but CorpseEater simply stepped out of the way and drove a random blade into Sword's thigh. The spike withdrew as quikcly as it had grown, accompanied by a devilish smile. The smile was wiped away when Sword backhanded him so hard he went flying into the nearby cliff.
"Nice shot."
"Die," the child's face was contorted with millenia worth of anger.
"You know I'm gonna-," and Sword's hand was wrapping around his throat while the blade of light drove straight into CorpseEater's stomach. His neck grew a collar of thorns which pained and held Sword's hand at the same time. When his hand finally came free, several spikes came with it, and he used these to pin CorpseEater's shoulders to the rock.
"You always failed before, and you will fail now."
Even as the blade took off CorpseEater's head, the body beneath it began to grow and warp. The spikes were pulled back into the body, and its height began to increase. Sword simply turned and ran towards the mine to try and find a weapon which could help.
At least she made into the shed. She'll be safe for time.
By now the shape was twice the size it had been, and the sky was turning the color of coal. I can't believe this is the day I'm going to end. I suppose I can't really die. Oh, well.
"SWORD!!," came a voice from the first of several heads growing out the mass of flesh, which smelled so strongly of death that Sword could smell it from acorss the clearing. It stepped forward and went at an incredible speed. It didn't so much move as just appear in front of where it used to be. Each head was decorated with elaborate horns. The center and largest head had a massive scar running down its forhead. The scales were a crimson red. Every mouth was filled with a row of knives for teeth.
I have no chance. The truly amazing part is that Caine is going to beat this thing.
By this point, Sword was holding a pistol in his good hand, and had explosives around his feet.
"Come on monster!," his voice barely carrying over the rain and thunder which had swept into the once peaceful forest. The sun was gone, and even the massive shape before him was barely distinguishable. The slopes behind each of them had started to cry droplets and rivers of mud.
"THIS IS THE LAST TIME ,INSECT," each head echoed the words of the first, one did not even speak, but used telepathy.
Sword lifted the gun and began to fire, while he used the blade to bat charges at the creature. I hope the fuses staylit in this weather.
YOU ARE A FOOL, INSECT. YOUR PITIFUL WEAPONS ARE MEANINGLESS.
If I can hear you, I assume you can hear me. You will be back in the hell which spawned you by the end of the day.
SILIENCE, INSECT!!
The tail which had previously been unseen came swinging around and smashed sword into the wall the creature had just walked from. Bones cracking were heard and felt at the same time, and Sword felt his body start to give around him.
I didn't think it would end this quickly. He's finally here.
Caine was haveing an especially hard time with the rain, since he could no longer see the tire tracks. The bike was reaching its last leg as the front wheel began to come off of it.
Damn rain. The only reason I can tell where to go is this damn mark. I don't know what I'd do without it. I never believed I would think that.
CAINE.....
What in God's name was that.
You have to save her Caine.
Sword? How can I hear you? Never mind. Where...Ohh God.
THAT'S RIGHT, CAINE. I'M HERE, AND I WILL KILL YOU. A massive shape was coming out of the darkness of the storm. He didn't know how he knew, but Caine was absolutely sure that it was the face from his dream.
God. I'm gonna say this once. Help me.
Clack. At Caine's feet there was a gun. Use it.
If you say so Sword. The gun felt odd in his hands. It was slippery from the water on it. The trigger went back easily enough. A bullet came flashing out, and did nothing to the shape in front of him.
"Let's try again," he said as he shot and back peddled. The gun jammed. "No."
YES. YOU FAILED. I WIN. DIE.
It turned and was simply in front of the shack.
Caine. She's in there. Ohh...I'm sorry about your car. Then a different silence came. It was as if he were alone again in his own head.
Sword. What am I-AAAHHHH!!!
The thing was back in his head. This time it was different. It flashed images of every horrible thing it could think of. Death,rape, torture, war, starvation, even the ways it had previously killed Caine himself.
"Get out of my head."
MAKE ME.
Caine was on the ground trying to tell what was real or what was being forced into his mind.
"Caine!"
"What! What is it now!," looking up, he saw that it had returned to him with her in its hand. Damn you. The nightmare came flooding back to him. "What am I supposed to do?"
"Try something!," she cried as she placed on the ground in front of Caine.
I WILL GIVE YOU ONE CHANCE TO SAVE HER AND THE PRECIOUS CHILD SHE CARRIES.
Caine lifted the gun and pointed it at the form before him and fired. For years afterwards, Caine swore that time had slowed down during this moment. He could see the bullet slowly turning over and over again. The face of the monster growing closer with each forever that passed. His vision impossibly seperated from his body. Just before impact, the sensation of tectonic laughter radiating from the living nightmare. Then the bullet hits, and for a second, the belief that he had failed, and then the answer. Apparently, when you have God o your side, a bullet is enough to attract lightning. He went blind for a second, the light shining through his eyelids. Finally, a massive force lifting him into the air as the lightning ignited the charges, shredding the beast.
"Oww," looking down, Caine saw several pieces of shrapnel had found their way into his chest. "Bye."
"Bye, Caine."
Darkness. The feeling of the rain fading away. His body shedding form his mind and soul. Light.
"I'm sorry, but I can't let you rest yet."
"What?"
"You have some living left to do."
"Who are you?"
"I am...well, you know. See you sooner than you know!"
Then the light dimmed, and his eyes opened.


....


Birth. Fourth grade. Death. Birth. "I love you, Grandpa!" Death. Birth. "I do." Death. Birth. Death. Birth. An endless recycling of the same soul, and the mark, always the mark was there to bring Caine back to what he was. Caine was in his grave again, and this time the world itself had joined him there. A hand reached down into the man made cave of dirt and grabbed Caine by the hand and pulled. It pulled him out and into the air, but left the dust behind. Only the that which was truly Caine came up into the end of all things.
"Hello, Son. Welcome Home."

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fan clubs
does anyone know how to start a fan club? id like to start one about the older animes like (i know u guys are tired of hearing this name) VOLTRON!! hit me up to let me know
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mcdonalds
hey guys!! im up a few hours before going to work for six. its so much fun workig at--I CANT LIE ANYMORE!!some one please kill me!!*crouches in corner* i work at freaking mcdonalds. alahlhga;lhg. help. lol
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the good old days
i am apparently one of the oldest ppl on this site(a month away from twenty). as such, im one of the only ppl to hear of animes like voltron and robotech. these are classics about giant robots and giant swords and guns. oh yeah baby. those are the good old days. evangelion gets some good play, but even vash the stampede has almost disappeared. hes not old at all! u shouldnt have forgotten him already! im afraid for the anime of tomorrow. lol
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Saturday, August 13, 2005


the first story i had written in many years
Nightmares

I’m getting sick and tired of being in this meat locker. How do I know it’s a meat locker? There’s not any meat in here, it’s just cold. Oh well, this perfect square of a meat locker? could be my coffin. I’ve been here what, thirty hours. And this damn stack of pictures just keeps growing. Eleven blood covered pictures in all now. I wonder where it got them all from. That must be what it’s doing when it’s not crawling through the air ducts, it’s looking for our pictures in our offices. That could be how it decides the order to kill us in. Isn’t that horrible, your turn to die because some thing randomly found your picture first. This can’t be real.

Tap tap tap. The familiar sound from the air duct.

Another picture came floating down from the air vent. Just whimsically floating through the air, coasting on the breeze from the vent on its way down to the pile of bloody pictures. Someone else was going to die. I wonder who?
“Someone should check who’s turn it is,” said green sweater.
“Yeah,” was all I could get myself to say.
“So who’s going to check?,” said white parka with blue stripes,
“I will,” said orange parka. He stumbled as he got up. The thing in the air ducts isn’t going to have to wait much longer. Without sleep we’re going to start getting sloppy. He almost slipped again when he stepped into a puddle of blood from one of the more violent kills. That corpse’s feet were swaying slowly in the current from the vent below it. A smile grew on orange parka’s face. “It’s not me.”

Tap tap tap. It was moving again.

We all got up and moved to the center of the room to see if it was us. There was no need to check, orange parka handed the picture to green sweater.
“I guess it’s my time to go,” said green sweater as he sank to the ground. We all joined him knowing it would eventually be our turn.

Tap tap tap.

Looking at that guy, I doubt he’s going to last ten minutes. He’s already falling asleep. The thing may not be near us right now, but I’d say it’s getting ready to move, the noises are getting faster.

Tap tap tap. It stick its decayed crocodile head out of the north vent and gave a species of a smile. We all slid south, green sweater moved slowly.

This isn’t real. I don’t even remember the names of these guys. I’ve been here thirty hours and I don’t even remember their names.

Tap tap tap. We all got up and moved without even thinking about the movement, except for green sweater. He had fallen asleep. I guess it’s just his time to die. It doesn’t really matter if I wake him up this time. He’ll just end up dying later anyway. OUCH! I sat on a bone fragment. Sharp. Hmmmmm.

Tap tap tap. The sound was at the south end. Green sweater was still asleep.

The decaying crocodile head came out of the south vent, smiled, and pulled itself back in. All of us in the north corner shut up at once. A three clawed hand came sliding out of the vent. It’s strange, that hand ripped apart eleven people and it’s still clean, no blood at all. This isn’t real. I don’t even remember their names. It’s hand reached green sweater, grabbed him by the foot, and did not just drag him back t the hole, it picked him up into the air with its deformed arm and tossed him. His knee snapped from the stress, sounding like a tree going down in the forest. Now green sweater was awake and screaming like the day he was born. From the moment he landed the hand had him, his foot went down the hole first. Blood sprayed, some of it almost making it to us. The corpse on the wall just kept swaying. Then green sweater surprised all of us. A knife flashed out from a pocket and he stabbed the thing in the air ducts with it. The vent now being open again as his foot had been eaten. His death was apparently postponed since the hand moved back into the vent.
“Help me please! Come on!,” said green sweater. He began to drag himself along the floor, leaving a slug trail of blood from his leg. Maybe it isn’t a waste to help this guy. I guess I’ll try. Can’t forget the bone. I stood and began to walk. “Thank youo mAn. I von’t forket this,” said green sweater. He must be losing a lot of blood if he’s already talking like that. His hand was trembling as he reached up to me and tried to grab my leg. Once he had a grip on my pants leg I started walking back to the north vent.
“OHHH DGGOOODD!,” said a voice from behind me. I turned and saw the arm coming back out of the vent and tapping as it came towards green sweater. I’d hate to waste the bone, but....... I pulled out the fragment and stabbed with a downward arc, pinning the hand to the ground. To free itself, it simply pulled backward and ripped itself nearly in half. No blood came out of the wound. This isn’t real. How could that thing not bleed from having it’s hand torn apart like that.
“Are you insane? It’s going to punish us now! One of us is going to die horribly,” said white parka with blue stripes.
There goes that chance at life. Maybe there’s another weapon around here. If not, I could always get one these guys to help me out. I suppose I should just sit back and listen to what they’re saying. Maybe I should ask some questions to figure out if they are any good to me. By this time I’d made it across the room, green sweater’s shadow of a leg was already twitching from blood loss. Some of the pictures which had already been dropped down were stuck to my foot, adding yet another coat of blood to my shoes. These’ll never be good again.

Tap tap.

“HhahahAAAHahahhAA!,” giggled orange parka. He’s gone.
“Hay! If it’s my turn next will you take my place? How about you? It already attacked you once, it won’t kill you now! You know what. Hiihihihi. It’s your fault anyway. If you had died it wouldn’t be angry!,” ranted white parka with blue stripes. He’s even worse. It looks like the only guy who can help me is the guy who is about to die. Well, I’ll at least see if dying guy could be of any help.
“You’re alll–allllll,” his head was rolling around on his shoulders like he had a broken neck “,all a buuuunch of cowardsssss,” said dying guy.

Tap tap tap. A hand once again protruded from the vent in the roof and let yet another picture float down.

No one else is in good enough shape to go over and get that picture. I might as well do it. I stood and began to walk when the hand came shooting down and started trying to give me a haircut down to my shoulders with the razor like claws on its hand. I guess it’s my picture. “Hey! White parka! Get over here and see who’s picture this is.”
“Never! Not in a thousand years! It’ll kill meeee!,” his voice becoming a high pitch squeel.
“You just saw it take a swipe at my head, it aint’ gonna kill you. Now get over here before I drag you over here!,” I heard myself screaming. Looking back I suppose it wasn’t such a great idea to lose it myself.

Tap... This time it was as the door.

I was walking across the room by this time with the firm intent of readjusting the positioning of the bloody yanks’ head. Then the door opened and I knew there was going to be another swaying corpse....very soon. It was dragging itself across the floor with its one putrid, fetid hand. To my horror, I noticed that the one hand it had was not injured at all. When it had tried to take off my head I simply assumed it was another undamaged hand; but no, this hand was good. I can’t kill it. On par with the one hand, it had one leg, and one totally unusable wing which could never fly. How pitiful. It’s decayed crocodile head smiled at me as it passed by, its plump underbelly sliding on the floor as it crawled towards orange parka.
“AAHHahaaHAHAAhahAA!,” was his only response to its persistent dragging of its puke orange body towards him. He’s going to die and he doesn’t even care. No. He’s going to die and doesn’t even KNOW it. This isn’t real.
“HhhhhaAHAHAHaaaacccckkk,” came out of his throat even as the thing grabbed and levitated him into the air by it. With an almost comical grace, it caught him in midair an dshoved its hand into orange parka’s chest. We were all quiet as orange parka became torn orange parka with red splashes. Its hand came back out of chest holding one of his ribs and stretched to pin orange parka’s body to the wall after flinging it across the room like the toy the thing obviously felt his body was. This corpse doesn’t sway. To show just how crazily, sadistic it was it gave me the picture on the floor as it pushed and pulled itself along. The photo was on of one in the room. What a #$^^%&. The thing in the air ducts(no right in front of me) was killing us just for the fun of it. I must have made it angry by stopping it from killing dying guy, at least immediately.
“You’re a sadistic @^%$&#@,” I said, knowing it wouldn’t kill me because that wouldn’t be as torturous as letting me live just a little bit longer. The thing from the air ducts turned, and smiled with its decayed crocodile head. Its one good eye trying to wink, but just looking worse for the wear.
“See what you all did! You made it angry. But not me. Nooooooo. I’m good. I listen to it. It likes me. He god likes me. LIKES ME!,” the voice of white parka with blue stripes once again going into a higher register.
“Shu-shutup you cowards. I-iiiiieeeee kan’t beLIEve I’m going to die with,” his head was once again rolling around. This time blood was flowing from his lips. I guessgetting thrown against the wall broke a rib and finally took its toll on his lungs. “Cowardsssss,” was his last word and then dying guy was dead. My only chance and hope was gone.

Tap tap tap. This came from the other side of the once again shut door.

“Now it’s just you and me. It’s going to kill you next because you made it angry. HEHEHEHEH!,” said white parka with blue stripes, while I did my best not to create another swaying or not swaying corpse.
“Just wait. It’s gonna kill you,” I said.
“It likes me. It won’t kill me,” insisted white parka with blue stripes. That’s it. Good-bye.
I stood up, walked over to him, and began to beat him in the face. It felt good. Who cared about the beast in the walls? Who cared about the fact that I was going to die here in this meat locker? It didn’t matter. I was going to beat his face in before I died. And then it happened. The thing in the air ducts must have really liked him or really hated me because it came bursting in from all of the air vents at once. How did it grow four arms and how are they all suddenly long enough to reach me from any air duct? Moron. The same way its hand can piece itself back together again. Every one of my limbs was grabbed as well as my throat. To get to my arm, one of the hands had made white parka with blue stripes into guy with an arm through his chest. I smiled fo rthe first time that day. The hand around my throat gave a squeeze and then pulled back into the roof. The decayed crocodile head came out next. It smiled as I was lifted into the air. It could have killed me from the start. The thing had the power to kill all fifteen of us from the very beginning, but it chose to have fun with us. It is evil. Whatever voice this this has, I bet it’s what the devil’s sounds like. This isn’t real.
“I hate you,” then I was flying. The thing had pitched me across the room like it had done all of the other times. I was expecting its hand to come reaching up into my ribs at any time now. Then I hit the door and the door hit me back. It had swung open the moment I’d hit it.
“Don’t move. Put your hands over your head and lie face down on the ground now,” said a completely new voice.
Trying to suck air into my lungs I complied as best as I could, noticing that the voice was connected to a gun at the back of my head. “You have to kill it before it kills us all.”
“I think you’ve taken care of that department. Now shut up,” commanded the voice with the gun.
One of the other swat members was throwing up from the sight of the gore. He hadn’t lifted his faceplate fast enough as some of it was dripping from his face and visor. “He killed them all,” he said between bursts.
The voice with the gun said “,gt Domingez out of here get a forensics team in here so I can figure out what happened.”
“It killed them all, that’s what happened.”
“I told you to shut up,” then the cuffs were on me and now I’m here talking you.
“I see. Well.. Uhhh... That is.. Uhhh. An interesting story. You really believe that,” asked the reporter.
“Yes I do.”
“What sentence do you expect to get if convicted?”
“Death. I’m accused of killing an entire building of people.”
“I see. That’s all the time we have. I hope you folks at home have enjoyed my live interview with the meat locker killer-”
“So it was a meat locker?”
“What-uh-Yes it was. Anyway I hope you stay tuned for our weekly taste test-,” the sound of the reporter’s voice was fading quickly into nothing. I smell something in the air. A meat locker? That’s impossible. I can’t believe it. This can’t be real.

Tap tap tap. The familiar sound. I looked up to see another picture floating down to the ground, no one else but the camera man seemed to notice it. He just looked at me with an expression of horror I had never seen before.

It was snowing again.

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