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Myself-Her Name Is Shelbz[OBVIOUSLY!!]
She cant Spell [shes not stupid she just dosent pay attention]
She Is Bi.[meaning She likes bois&&gurls.]
Shes been in love.[She has a boifriend back the fuck off!!]
She likes pretty things.[like rainbows!!]
Shes Obsessed with Screamo bands![she likes it when ppl scream!]
Shes easy to get along with.[shes nice]
Shes a beautiful disaster. [Nothing can change that]
She doesnt really hate anything.[shes more of a loving person]
Shes DEAD scared of Spiders![they make her want to cry & scream]
She likes being clean.[she showers more than 2 times a day]
She likes good breath.[she brushes her teeth 3-4 times a day]
& Now Shes bored.[she wants to stop typing]
So comment her if you want to talk.[cuz she will probably like you!!]

Boys.[are nice but im not talking to them]
Girls.[they are nice but again im not talking to them]
make-up.[it makes her feel pretty]
mosh pits.[there hardcore fun!]
Shopping.[whats not to love about that]
sleeping.[it makes her smile]
being clean.[she hate being dirty]
brushing my teeth.[she likes good breath]
Computers.[there so interesting]
Music.[anything she can dance/mosh to]
More later.[she doesnt feel like writing any more]

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

i love you is 8 leters..so is bullshit =[
ok i took this off of my ex boifriends friends site so yeah..it means alot to me..idk why..because he hates me now..and ill i was tryignt o do was protect him...

i hate myself...


Hey Guys i am telling something that my friend j said...well if you know he likes shelby agian and he thinks he pathetic because he dumped her then went back out with her then dumped her and now wants to go back out with her and even though he screwed up he misses shelby so much and wishes he would have never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever had dumped her and he just wants her to give him one more chance so badly...

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Thursday, August 10, 2006

my friend did this pic for me...its a anime of me i geuss
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
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Friday, July 21, 2006

shanes gurl-poem
Shanes Girl

Hes seen me at my worst and even at my best

And yet he still thinks of me as better than the rest

He looks caringly in to my so called beautiful eyes

Thats when I know for sure he'll never tell me lies

Our emotions have been torn and ripped apart

But now what we feel for each other comes directly from the heart

He holds me close and says he never wants to let me go

When he does things like that, its how I know

I know he cares about the true me

And to act like anyone lese just couldnt be

The first time we said, I love you, I cried

And all thoughts of leaving him died

Hes the one I care for and love

Now I know he was sent to me from up above

We said we wanted to take things slowly, but you'll never know

And now that we have each other close, well never let go

He understands me in ways I never knew

He tells me he cares and I know that its true

Being his makes me feel proud

To try to be anyone elses is just not allowed

His kiss is one of a kind

And I feel that he could easily get me out of any bind

Hes the one that puts a smile on my face

And the feeling I get just cant be replaced

When I wake up next to him Im happier than ever

And his love is the kind I want to enjoy forever

He makes little jokes about me and my quirks

He tries to make me laugh a lot, and it works

He says that he loves to see my smile

And if only he knew what I was thinking all the while

Theres a glimmer in his eye

And everyone wonders what I see in this guy

Who cares what they think though

Im head over heels for him; its just what I know

I see more in him than anyone else probably thinks I do

But just to let you know Im madly in like with you

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Thursday, June 15, 2006


Stockpiled in my bedroom
Melting, dripping, sticky-sweet
relieving tension,
perk me up and make me thicker
I'll keep eating,
you'll keep returning
from the store in generous supply.
Dark as death or white as coke,
down my throat until I choke
it's what you wanted all along,
to fill me 'till we became one
for more than just one week a month.
And now, I've hung myself by your wrappers,
and shot myself with your taste.
Can I ever escape?

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lil' mirror-poem
Little Mirror

I didn't know myself
the way I thought I knew my soul
until I looked into the mirror you provided.
Your gleam is true, as is my aim,
and into my reflection I can see clearly
without hiding
as I used to do behind my cuts and scars.
Your tiny and perfect, my heart set in silver
am I holding you? Or are you holding me?
I slide you across again, this time rejoicing,
you lick my blood up and carry me out of myself.
And as I stare into your mirrored side
and laugh at what I used to hide,
my little mirror, you are mine,
my little razor bride.

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tender heart-poem
Tender caring
yet so rough
on the bed
i show my love
passionate, deep
and insane
i fear my heart
will never tame
the bed is here
to hold my love
and keep my secret
from up above
my mother on hers
the house on top
of my small basement
i may never stop
this every day thing
is here for me
wherever i go
it's there to see
maybe not the same one
maybe its by a tree
wherever i run
its there for me

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i am-poem
I Am...

I am an obsever, in the shadows I hide,
A notebook on my lap and a pen at my side.

I am a whisper, my voice sharp and keen,
But I am only words, not meant to be seen.

I am eyes meant to watch from a distance,
You'll never know of my existance.

I am a smile, I'll thow off your suspicions,
You'll never give me my reconitions.

I am a tear, I slowly roll down an innocent face,
Looking at the damage, I'm such a disgrace.

I a words, everything I say to you is something I have been told,
I can't write the what I want to, because I'm afraid to be bold.

I am a toy, a thing, only played with a short time,
But I was only a fad, now I'm not worth a dime.

I am a mirror, my image is twisted and reflects someone that you've created,
You've stolen the inner me, and made me this person I've always hated.

I am a book, you think my pages reveal the inner me,
You are a blind, a fool, you'll never be able to see.

I am a character, under a sleeping spell to never be awoken,
My story is known to all, but my name is never spoken.

I am a picture, I'll be trapped in a moment dressed with a fake smile,
An image that'll soon be burried and forgotten about after a while.

I am a foreigner, my where abouts are unknown,
Covered in discizes, my face is never shown.

I am an explorer, your love in what I seek,
And of this adventure I dare not speak.

I am a bad memory, I remind you of your past mistake,
You drink to forget me, but I'm there when you wake.

I am a nightmare, I'll keep you up through the night,
You try to resist me, but you always lose the fight.

I am a lulliby, my words put you into a sweet sleep,
Melting into your heart that I cannot keep.

I am a risk taker and I hurt myself trying to reach someone so far away,
My biggest risk was showing you this,... and I writing about you day afer day.

I am lost, the room is black as I stumble through this maze,
You don't care, and you'll never change your ways.

There are too many ways to go and no one to lead,
I need a hand to guide, your is the one I need.

So alone is what I will stay, writing, dreaming, hoping.
Don't think I'm just sitting around moaping.

You'll soon enough make me forgotten once again, alone I'll be, forever more,
The gleam in your eye had faded, you'll never love me like you did before.

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no more-poem
no more

I miss the feeling
of your heart beating
I miss the feeling
of my heart racing
I miss the feeling
of your breath against my skin
I miss the feeling
of your breath just like wind
I miss the feeling
oh what could it be
I miss the feeling
of your body pressed hard against me
why did you have to go
now I have-
no more love to show
I miss you
and those feelings-
so true

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The T.V

Click after click
Flash after flash
channel changed
but the mind remains
and a remote
your key to these locked doors
to sit on your ass and let it sore
to turn it off and still want more
outside calling, but you only ignore
how do you do it
you must be proud
letting your life wither away
in such a pathetic way
i must say
you should remove yourself from such a demonic set
and try relaxing outside
maybe watch a real sun set

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She stares in the mirror hating her
Hating everything about that girl inside her
Everything that girl does and how hard she tries
But soon after she breaks down and cries
Because she knows she does everthing wrong
Feeling worthless for so long
She hates that reflection in the mirror
The reflection of a weak girl full of fears
But mostly she hates the mirror for being so true
For all thoses feelings she hides, comes through
Through her eyes of sadness and pain
Everyone whispering about how much she has change
They saw her feelings through her eyes
Just like her reflection she saw all the time
She slowly starts going insane of all the voices she hears
Of every whisper, she tries to make them disappear
But the whispers turn in to loud voices
So loud they are making her do some bad choices
Then she gets out her razor
Making bloody lines on her wrist as the voices phases her

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Suicidal Razorblade

I go to my room..the tears running down my face, I grasp the blade between my two fingers,
I've taken the pain for the last time,
I force the blade deep into my wrist..as I watch the blood splatter onto the floor, such a wonderful sight,
I feel my body starting to become weaker,
All I see now is the huge puddle on the floor,
I start to lean over, I try to catch myself..but..it's too late, my body hits the floor with a thud,
nobody even noticed,
that night...I died,
When they found me..they didn't even care,
I've ended all the suffering that I've had to live with,
all because of my sweet little razorblade <3

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my love ,the blade-poem
My Love, Thy Blade

This fabricated skin, unlike your lies
Sheared and torn from life's regret
Cut by your love, the blade of vanity
Sharp and soft to my skin
The crimson storm drifts in from sea
I am left overcast, all the pain flowing from my veins
I love you still, though you never knew
My blade, said sweet athame
The silver slit that cools my soul
Hidden from day like emotions
None of which you know
My body's numb
The steel kiss slices through
And all I can do is cry
I wish to know if there's an end
Yet still it seems my immortality dies
This blade ends the pain, the joy, the tears, the life, the lies!!!
I love you still and always will
Till you know, I'm dead and gone with a gash...

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tree of life-poem
The Tree Of Life -

The tree of life blossoms with bleeding hearts and corrupt minds.

It's fruits turn into the hopeless romantics and dictators of our world.

The years go by and still no new trees grow.

All they do is sprout and die.

Hear the screaming crys as the bleeding hearts wither and the corrupt minds fall.

This tree feeds on the darkness and moonlight.

The Sun never shines on this poor existence.

The blood from the ground flows through the tree like water.

With each fruit that fades a new life is made.

Never will this cycle end.

How did this cycle even begin?

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Once there was a box
It lied broken in the street
Once there was a man
Who saw a friend to greet

The man picked up the box
And gave it a look so stange
Yet this man did not know
How his life had just been changed

He wondered what this little box
Could possibly conceal
But as he opened it he gasped
At what he'd just revealed

A puzzle layed inside
A puzzle that was broken
A puzzle of a girl
Who's words waited to be spoken

So this man got to work
And dedicated to his work he was
He worked so flawlessly
He worked without a pause

And when he was done
In a few years and a week
He stood before his work of art
So beautiful he could not speak

But the puzzle seemed so lifeless
What could he possible have missed
And so he got a graet idea
He finished his art off with a kiss

And that is when my eyes were opened
That's when he gave me a heart
And so I am his solved mystery
I am his work of art

And that is how he did it
That's how he put me back together
A lifeless broken puzzle
Is now a woman that's his forever

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Brain Damage -poem
This room, an Islam
These walls, padded tight
these pills within me
Make me want to take my life
You call this a treatment
You call this living
Caged animals
Have more freedom
Then humans
With suicidal tendencies
You call yourself a doctor
But the problems not fixed
So you lock me in a padded room
In hopes that I'll stop being "sick"
This is not a treatment
Nor is it a "problem solved"
I feel worse then I once did
Before I tried to end it all
A fire breaks out
Within my eyes
And the scars start to throb
Upon my thighs
And suddenly I feel fine
But is this a bizarre demise?

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my drug-poem
Your my drug....

and I am totally addicted to you

Your my drug....

and I can't live with out you

Your my drug....

and your bottles empty

Your my drug....

and you wont show pitty

Your my drug....

and I want another dose

Your my drug....

and the end is so close

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Mirror, mirror, on the wall
Tell me why your so dull?
Your so truthful that it hurts
Just once, I wish you could see
...Just forget all my words
I'll be sure to choke on them later
help me to punch holes
In my reflection
Hoping that this process
Will create perfection
All my efforts have been in vain
And all we brought ourselves
Was a bit of shame
This conversations getting old
But suddenly I don't feel so cold
Now that I've destroyed the mirror
I can no longer see
Never mind
My words are forgotten
The fragment begin to fall
And now, I too
Have forgotten it all

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