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joy is ever fleeting as i am surrounded by darkness.
it is both where i feel at home and where i will die.
all i wish for is an easy escape, and i will do ANYTHING for it

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I feel empty!
being that this is the only place she doesnt know about, I can post here about my problems and not have my gf get on my case about it.

ok...where to start?

about 3 weeks ago I spent 8 days solid at a friends house (no parents) and during that time I had promised to help my gf dad do some construction down at their house, well the previous day she blew up at me and my 2 friends and I decided I didnt want to deal with it so I told her we were busy ( in truth we were planning to be busy but that plan was a flop) and that I would call her tomorrow or something like that. Well that day came about and the phone call completely sliped my mind...after the few days were over, I went home and called her....she ripped my head off and made me feel so horrible that my mind went blank and my throught closed up (metaphorically) so I couldnt talk.
she was considering breaking up with me and her mother was really pissed at me to.

well the big day when we would get together and talk this whole thing out came and we decided to give it ONE more shot, but I still had to appologise to her parrents.

her dad came first because he is always home after work...the only other times he goes out are for special occasions like thanksgiving or the coffee break he takes every 2 hours, he wasnt even mad at me, to him it was just anothert thing that happened that day, he thinks like me and my motto is "shit happens".

her mother on the other hand has bowling every couple days and is at the casino every other day, when is there time for me to get it over with?

ontop of all this the day I got back home I find out that my dad and me have got the eviction notice and have top move out by the end of the month....the stress is gonna kill me!!!!!

my dad hasnt found a place to this day (45 days later) and im still looking for work to help out...im living with a friend right now and am feeling really uncomfortable right now since I know what his dad will have to pay extra to have me here.

and as for the empty feeling...me and my gf havent seen each other in almost 3 weeks but we talk every day unless something comes up....the downside is that we dont have much to talk about.

and everytime I come up with a subject, if its not perfect it turns into a fight where I have to defend myself. (energy drinks for example)

It seems like every time we are around each other we fight and I guess thats why I havent made any efforts to stop by (beside the lack of freedom right now and the uncomfortabillity...sp?).

I just dont know what to do anymore....if anybody reads this ( I doubt it)....I have pretty much given up myotaku so send replies to my email:
any input is welcome

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Monday, May 1, 2006

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Thursday, April 13, 2006

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Monday, March 13, 2006

no emotion to be added

How to make a terjak

3 parts anger

1 part humour

1 part instinct
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little emotion if desired!


Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

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Friday, February 24, 2006

terjak --


Like in nature to a kangaroo

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

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