Friday, January 23, 2004

   Tongue is numb and I'm loving it
I just got back from my school's Battle of the Bands preliminaries. It was pretty awesome. There were eleven bands, but I missed the first three, though I did hear the first one was interesting, too bad I missed it. One of my friends, Brian, bought me coffee so I was pretty hyper the whole time. One band in particular might have given some people a headache. The singer did nothing but scream, I'm pretty sure the guy lost his voice considering how much screaming he did. Though the rest of the band was pretty cool. Another band actually played part of Tank!, the intro to the anime Cowboy Bebop, and it was pretty cool. Twas a great time. ^_^

Right now, the coffee's wearing off and I'm starting to feel tired. Though my tongue is pretty numb from the coffee because it was pretty hot when I drank it.

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Monday, January 19, 2004

   My, What a Week
Sorry for not posting for awhile, but I wasn't in very much of a mood to post anything last week because it was kind of hectic. I needed help. Since I'm a little lazy to type up everything again, I'll just copy and paste what I posted on the OtakuBoards:

Okay, well, I should start at the beginning, which was Tuesday.

Now I was recovering from a cold and I felt so weak. Nevertheless, I dressed out for my gym class, which was my third period that day. We ran for twelve minutes and afterwards I felt so tired. At the end of class, as I was dressing back into my uniform, something didn't feel right. Not with my body or cold, but my heart. After dressing back into my uniform I walked back into the gym to wait for lunch. One of my friends, Alicia, noticed I looked down. She asked me what was wrong, but I honestly didn't know. Though I never really got to tell her that because we kept getting interrupted by this one annoying guy. Anyway, then lunch came. I didn't sit next to Alicia because she's quiet around the people I sit next to, so I told I would write her a note (she likes it when I write her notes). During lunch, I felt, well, horrible. As soon as I stopped eating I laid my head on the table. The cafeteria was unusually hot and that made feel me very tired. Two of my friends, Brian and Jourdan, were very worried and kept asking what was wrong. I didn't know what to tell them. All I knew was that I was tired and for some reason, I felt depressed. After lunch, Alicia and Brian asked again what was wrong. They told me that when they see me down, they feel down as well. That made me feel worse because I don't like it when I'm the cause of making others down and that also made me want to tell them what was wrong even more, even though I had no idea why I was so depressed. My day didn't exactly get any better because I forgot my homework for my next period, which was Chemistry.

Anyway, that night I wrote both Alicia and Brian a note about how I was depressed for some reason. I gave them the notes the next day. I actually thought I was doing better, but that night proved otherwise. That night, something happened. Something inside broke. I was in my room, just finished watching the OC on TV. I suddenly felt nervous, scared, and depressed at the same time. Then I just broke down and cried. The only thing I wanted was to be at school and with my friends. I kept calling out for my friends in my head.

Then on Thursday morning came. I woke up with the same feelings I had the previous night. My heart kept beating as my dad drove me to school. Then when I arrived, once I entered the building. I felt...... safe and happy. I told Alicia how I broke down the previous night and she honestly didn't know why. She thought that maybe it was because of what was going on in the world with death and the war. We both didn't really know, but all I knew was that I was happy right there and then. Later that day everyone asked me if I was doing better and I told them I was.

Thanks to everyone on the OBoards for giving me advice on this. Apparently I had my first anxiety attack/nervous breakdown last week. Don't worry though, I'm doing better. I'm very thankful to have my friends and I love them very much. I don't know what I'd do without them. *smiles*
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Saturday, January 10, 2004

   Sickness
Yeah, well, I’m feeling sick at the moment. I woke up with a sore throat and soon came across a runny nose (Eww! lol).

Anyway, I survived my first week of my second semester and everything is going fine, well sort of. I’ve actually been forgetting my homework lately. >_< And yesterday we had a lab in Chemistry and well, it didn’t turn out that great. There were three parts to the lab and my partner and I spent about an hour on one part because we weren’t doing that well at it! We managed to get another part done in time, but sad to say we didn’t get the last part. Fortunately for us, we got together with another group that didn’t finish either. They did the part we didn’t and vice versa, so we’re going to photocopy our notes on Monday. And in Algebra, which I’m usually great at, I forgot I had homework! I was freaking out, but luckily my teacher was going over some other stuff so I started working on my homework as fast as I could. I actually got pretty far, but then the teacher started doing notes on how to do our next work and I didn’t want to ignore that. Again, luckily, my friend sitting next to me noticed I wasn’t done and gave me his answers. Yes I know it was wrong, but he offered to do it and I needed it. I was so grateful that I told him I owed him a cookie, lol. He gave me a weird face at that, but I wonder if he is actually expecting me to give him a cookie, lol.

I’m now just getting time to play my rented FFX and it’s due back tomorrow and I’m almost done with the game too!

Oh, I forgot to mention one thing that happened during late December. One of my old friends from my old school was caught stealing in the boys’ locker room. He and the two other guys stole money from some guys in a gym class. The weird part is, I was in that class! Luckily, they didn’t steal anything from me, but they did steal from one of my friends and I was quite mad at those guys for doing that. I was actually surprised that those three guys stole because they’re not really the type of guys you would expect this from. I feel the most anger towards my old friend for participating in this incident, stealing from my friend, and for personal reasons. Let’s just say he’s one reason that I’m not very proud of my past. Well, he and the others were asked to leave the school and I believe they’re allowed to come back next year, which I wouldn’t think would be a good idea to do.

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Monday, January 5, 2004

   And I'm back
Been awhile, hasn’t it? I guess I was just a little lazy to make any updates. ^_^

Anyway, I’ve been having good times. The week I last wrote in I went to our school’s football game in Waco for the state champions. My older brother made it into a road trip, but it like only took us an hour and a half to get there. We brought my dad and baby nephew, it was his first game and he seemed to enjoy it from what I could tell. Anyway, we won, but I forget the score at the moment. ^^;;

Christmas was great. I got some clothes, Mario & Luigi, Sword of Mana, the Arc the Lad DVD collection, and some money, so yay. I gave my nephew a Snoopy video and it had one episode, Flashbeagle that my brother and I loved. The show still seems to be pretty funny for a teenager and a father, lol. Arc the Lad was simply wonderful, although there were some scenes that weren’t exactly pretty, heh, like one of the characters throwing up. I don’t think a lot of people know about this anime series, but it’s very good. If you’re an anime fan then get a volume or the entire collection, which is, I think, $80.

New Years wasn’t so special. And the last days of my Christmas break, I rented Final Fantasy X and played my new games. For some reason, after watching a lot of FFX-2 commercials, I suddenly want the game. I think the song played in the commercial, Real Emotions, is very catchy, heh.

Today, it was time to go back to school. I was excited to go back because the first class I had I was looking forward to since my friends Alicia and Kelly were going to be in it and the teacher and the class fun. But, I dunno, today was so dull. First period we did nothing and talked, which wasn’t so bad. Second period was English and it felt different in the atmosphere for that class. I didn’t really had anybody to talk to in that class, but something tells me that it might get better next class. Third period was my gym class and Alicia was in it as well with Brian. We did nothing, again, and I sat next to Alicia. Brian didn’t join us, though. And during lunch I wanted to sit next to Brian and some other friends of mine and Alicia didn’t really have anyone else to sit next to, so I asked to her to join us. She really didn’t want to sit next to everyone else because she didn’t really know them and didn’t really speak to them during lunch. I kind of found that weird because Alicia talks a lot. Anyway, she found some other people to sit next to next time. Last period was Chemistry. One of my friends, Alex, was in that class last year and he told me he was having his class switched second semester, but it turned out that he switched back, so I was happy. That class we actually did some worksheets to refresh our minds of work we did last semester. All in all, it was a very long and sleepy day. It felt like I was living inside a black and white movie, lol. I wonder how tomorrow will go.
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Thursday, December 4, 2003

   I think I'm getting it now...
Well, after school today, I talked to Alicia about my feelings towards my friends at school. She told me that what I'm feeling and having at school should not be gotten rid of. She called it a bond. I truly believe that. She compared it with our own relationship. We didn't first meet until last year. Then we became friends, had fun, saw each other a lot, and a bond was created. She told me that I feel comfortable telling her and others about my problems and feelings because of my feelings. In a way she told me that I thought of them as my second family, which, again, I truly believe. I have friends who respect and love me. For that, I'm very grateful. And I will definitely follow her advice: I will not get rid of this bond that I have with my friends.
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Sunday, November 30, 2003

Wow, how long has it been?!
Woah, it's been awhile since I last wrote in here. It's mainly because I've been busy.

Okay, now on the week before last, I had a slide presentation that I had to do in my AP US History class. Now I don't really have a high grade in that class so I had to spend some time on this project. I worked on the project at school and for almost two weeks in a row, I've been staying at school late. Then on Friday was the big day. I was pretty nervous. Not because I was afraid of going in front of the class, but because I was afraid that I didn't have enough information. It really didn't feel like I did, even though I know that I put as much as I could find on my subject, who was William T. Sherman. The problem was that I couldn't talk about the battles, so I pretty much got some chunks taken off on how much I could talk about. My presentation was shorter than most people's, but I think I did okay. At least I hope did. ^^;; Oh yeah, I also got Cardcaptor Sakura the Movie 2 that week. That movie is great!

Now this last week was Thanksgiving. We had only two days of school and it was pretty relaxing. However, Tuesday wasn't exactly relaxing. I did about six hours of service at an art festival, but my Theology teacher said it couldn't count because I wasn't exactly helping the needy. I was pretty ticked off mainly because she was the one that suggested others to go there for service hours. I guess she didn't really know what was going to be done there. She told me how get three hours done. The next day some people were going to the school to pack up the cans we were collecting for our Thanksgiving Can Food Drive and take them to a agency. It was actually pretty fun. Some of my friends were there and we got to go out to eat to Cici's Pizza, with the bill on one of the teachers. I just wished that my arms weren't sore that day since we had to pick up some heavy boxes filled with cans. Man did I feel even more sore the next morning. Now I just need to find three more service hours, but I think I found a place. Just nedd to make sure it's okay with the teacher.

Thanksgiving was great. Lots of food to eat and lots of leftovers for the weekend. On Friday every meal I had had ham from Thanksgiving. I think there's one slice of ham left and I'm thinking of having it as a sandwich for lunch tomorrow at school.

I have a few more things to say, but I don't really know how to start. Over the weekend, I've been thinking about my friends. As I thought about them, I started having these feelings for them. It's something I never felt before, not even for my friends that I've had at my old school. When I think about them, I feel happy and, as corny as it sounds, I feel a warm feeling in my heart. I'm believing that this feeling is, well, love. It's hard for me to know or understand because I never felt this way towards my friends. And I don't really know how to express these feelings towards them. I'm not really the type of person that would go up to someone and say, "Did you know that I love you?” I'm not really good at expressing my feelings nor do I really talk much. I don't think my friends usually know what's on my mind or what I'm feeling, but yet, I love them and I doubt they know it. My friends are great to me. They always make my day somehow. They make me laugh, smile, and feel right at home. It's because of them that I feel that my school is my second home. They haven't hurt me or make me feel down. I feel I owe a lot to them. The least I could do is maybe tell them how I feel about them.
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Monday, November 17, 2003

   Funness, or however you want to describe it
Another Monday has gone by. It was a usual day for me. Weather wise, it was rainy. It started raining somewhere around noon, I think. All I know is that it started raining during third period. Anyway, it wasn't until after school that I started to have a lot of fun.

After school I went up to the library to work on a project for my US History class. I have to give a presentation about William T. Sherman this Friday. I'm not nervous about making a presentation in front of the class, I'm just nervous about if I have good information. Anyway, I worked on it until about 4:10, because I had typed out almost all the information I could get. Tomorrow I'll make some finishing touches. Anyway, after I was done working, I saw Alicia sitting at a computer as well so I sat by her and talked to her for a while. She was talking to her boyfriend on her cell phone when I came to her. When she finished talking to him, she we started talking. She printed an e-mail that asked questions about a person like what their favorite TV show is and what store they would want to max out a credit card at. The library was about to close, so we went downstairs to write down answers to the questions. Her boyfriend called her again while she was getting a Dr. Pepper from a vending machine. She handed me the phone and told me to talk to him while she got her drink. It felt so awkward because I barely know the guy and now I had to strike up a conversation with him. The first thing that I said was "What's up?". Alicia laughed at this and said that I don't really talk like that. I laughed too and said some other things that I usually don't say like "'Sup foo?" See, when I'm nervous and feeling awkward, I act like a dork. ^_^;;

Anyway, Alicia and I then headed to the entrance of the school, but stayed inside because it was pouring outside. We met up with another friend, Monica, who I haven't talked to since before summer started. Alicia gave her a copy of the questions she printed and we all worked on them. Well, Alicia didn't fill out the questions with her own answers. She read the questions to her boyfriend on her phone for him to answer. We all wrote down our answers, talked, and laughed for a while. It felt great.

When it was 5, Monica had to leave and so did Alicia. It was then that I remembered that I told my brother to pick me up at 4:30. I didn't know if he had arrived yet so I called him and he told me he was waiting in his car outside of the entrance. I picked up my bag and rushed out into the rain and got into his car. Needless to say, my brother wasn't exactly happy that I made him wait half an hour, but he joked about it. Well, still, I had fun with my friends.
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Friday, November 14, 2003

   One Lazy Friday
Today, we had no school and it has been a long time since we had a day off. Yesterday was a half-day as well. I pretty much spent my being lazy. Ahh, how fun it is to be lazy.

I woke up at about 8 and ate breakfast then played some video games. I never really realized that almost nothing is on TV during the weekdays, mainly because I'm in school at the time. ^^;; Anyway, it's been a pretty lazy time.

Although, I kind of spent my day a little lonely. In a way, I wished I were at school with my friends. I felt this way during the summer. I really wanted my friends with me at the time. That's how I am. I feel really attached to my friends. I always feel at home at school. I know some people might find that weird, but I don't care. It's funny because one time when my dad dropped me off at school in the beginning of the year he said, "Welcome home." I was pretty close to saying, "You have no idea."


Anyway, just about an hour ago, I was looking over my wanted list. We're not really big on cash so I tried to limit what I could ask for. So I went into my room to see how much money I had to see if I could buy some of the stuff I wanted with my own money. I didn't think I had a lot of money, but then I searched one my drawers where I kept all my birthday, Christmas, etc. cards in. I found a lot of money in some of those cards. I was kind of excited, because all of a sudden, I have money!

Here's my wanted list:
- Sword of Mana
- Mario and Luigi
- Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life
- Star Ocean: Til the End of Time
- Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles
- Cardcaptor Sakura Movie 2
- Kingdom Hearts Original Soundtrack
- GBA SP
- Final Fantasy X
- Linkin Park's Meteora
- Game Boy Player

Quite a list, eh?
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Monday, November 10, 2003

   One Crazy Day
Well I'm not sure if it was a really crazy, but I sure had a good day. This morning during Spanish, we began learning about the future tense. To practice, she asked us questions, in Spanish of course, on what we wanted to be when we grew up. This led to a discussion between me and a friend of mine, Kelly. I told her that I loved using my imagination to predict another person's future. I predicted Kelly's future, by telling her she would marry her current boyfriend and how many kids she would have. She told me to predict some other people's futures and I did. I predicted Alicia's and when I told her about what I "envisioned", she liked the part that I told her that her first child was a girl.

During AP US History, I got a new nickname from some of my friends. Next thing I know, they're calling me "Berty." Every time they said that name, I swear that they said "Birdie", lol. Also, during a person's presentation, one of my friends, who I think thought up my new nickname, asked me to borrow a stapler from the teacher. I told her I would ask for one after the guy's presentation, but she said no and that she wanted it right there and then, and in an attempt to persuade me, she tried to poke me at my side with a pen. I almost jumped out of my chair and almost knocked down my desk, because I'm very ticklish in the sides, so if someone would poke me there, I would jump pretty high. Anyway, since I nearly jumped and knocked my desk down, the desk made a noise, but luckily no one really noticed and turned to see what happened, but me and my friend were trying to keep from laughing out loud, since there was a presentation taking place.

Well, things got a little more funnier during last period. During Algebra, a bee was flying around the room and most of the students were looking at it flying around the room. The bee got particularly close to one girl from behind, and the bee buzzed closely to her ear, she turned, freaked out when she saw the bee, and fell out of her chair. Needless to say, the whole class laughed, while the teacher was clue less on what had happened. One guy got up and squashed the bug.

After school was kinda fun. My older brother got a call from a Wal-Mart, where my mom works at, for a job. When he picked me up from school, he took me there with him, and when we were entering the building, he ran right smack into the automatic door. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Fortunately for him, no one saw it. He went in for an interview and I wandered around the store for about an hour and a half, only to find out that he didn't get the job. It was a very stupid situation. My brother had to take a drug test and drive quickly back home to get his social security card only to find out he couldn't get the job because they needed someone to stay pass ten at night, which was when he worked at his other job. It was very stupid because they could've told him this at the very beginning rather than have him waste an hour and a half.

Well, we got back home at six with dinner. I've spent the night watching TV and doing my homework and now here I am. And now I must go to take a shower, get ready for tomorrow, and go to bed. Good Night!
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Sunday, November 9, 2003

   A Long Day Ending with a Bloody Wedding
I have completely forgotten to write about Friday on, well, Friday, lol.

Anyway, on Friday, it was very cold and it was raining. North Texas seems to have just started on fall weather, I guess. Well, it was my usual A day at school, so I had Late Arrival. I got in a little early because I had to finish an essay at school. I could've had it done at home the previous night, but I didn't have a book I needed in order to finish the essay. So, I went to the library and finished my essay all nice and pretty. Apparently at the same time, Alicia and some of my other friends were at the library as well, so I got to talk to them a little bit before the bell rang.

Second period was where I needed my essay. We had to put our essay, along with other work, in a manila envelope. Well, I had my stuff all prepared, while almost everybody else was still getting their stuff together. I actually commented to a friend that they were all disorganized, but I told him that I wasn't any better, including the fact that I had to finish the essay that very morning. Well, anyway, our teacher had to leave during class and for the rest of the class we had to work on a project where we have to make an ad for an abstract word. Me and another friend got together, but we had to have at least 3 people in a group. We couldn't find anyone else and the sub was getting suspicious. Me and my friend then went to another group and joined them. They already chose a word: "lust". Turns out they had ideas of their own already. We spent the rest of the class just relaxing.

Then came gym. Oh man, was it cold in the gym. And all I had was a shirt and shorts on. Luckily though, I remembered I had a school sweater, so I wore that, but my legs were still cold. We ran inside the gym and then we to the weight room. However, the weight room was outside near the stadium, so we had to run out in the rain to get there. As much as I like having fun in the rain, I prefer I have a coat and some pants on. Anyway, in the weight room, we did some workouts for the upper body and then we headed back to the school. Then it was lunch time, which wasn't really anything special, although I bought a ticket for our school play for that night.

Then came Chemistry. Now that was a tedious class. We had somewhat of an oral quiz. What I mean by somewhat is that our teacher said he didn't count it as a quiz grade, but he did say that was how our quizzes would be this quarter. What happened was that there were two rows of seats. One was facing the board, the other facing the opposite direction. The people facing the opposite direction got sheets of paper and had to draw three lines, making four boxes on the paper, then in one of the boxes, they had to write down their names and the name of the person that was in front of them. Then came the actual work. Our teacher turned on his slide projector and on the board was some chemical equations written in words. What the people facing the board had to do was tell the person in front of them what the equation said and the person with the paper couldn't look at the board and had to write the chemical equation in symbols. Example: If the person reading the equation said "Iron", the person writing had to change it to "Fe", according to the Periodic Table. Of course, it was harder than that. Halfway through, instead of changing the words to their appropriate symbols, we did it vice versa. Although, I thought that was a bit more easier. To make it even more fun, we had a small limited amount of time to convert the equations and after every equation we had to rotate and get new partners, and when you're at the end of the row you had to switch whatever position you were in (reader --> writer). The only problem I had with it was the fact that when I was the writer, I sometimes couldn't hear my partner stating the equation and some of the equations I needed more time on.

Well, we also had a pep rally after school. One thing the school has noticed. Our class, the juniors, is always last in school spirit. It's true. We've come last in almost, if not all, school programs, like our Magazine Drive. So our class didn't really showed much spirit at the pep rally that day.

At 7:30, I left to go to the play, which started at 8. I met up with Alicia and her boyfriend and some other friends. I sat with Alicia and her boyfriend at the theater, which wasn't exactly big. We have a bigger theater, but I guess they thought the play was more suited for the smaller theater, which was true. The seats were on three walls of the room, so the audience actually surrounded the cast. The play was very enjoyable. It was called "The Blood Wedding". As the name implies, there is a wedding being held. The Bride, who has no name and neither do most of the other characters, is having second thoughts about her wedding, because she meets Leonardo, man from her past who loves her, even though he is married to the Bride's cousin, at least I think I heard cousin. Anyway, halfway through the wedding, the Bride runs off with Leonardo into a forest. The Groom and others from the wedding run after them. When the Groom and Leonardo finally run into each other, they take out their knives and fight, which is where the "blood" comes from in the title. I won't spoil the ending, but I must say, it was very sad. After the play, I congratulated one of my friends, who was in the play, on how well she did. I then said bye to her and Alicia and headed home.

Unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to be in the school's spring musical, because I wasn't able to make it to the auditions. I didn't sign up and the day I was told that it was the final day to sign up, I didn't. I didn't ask my parents if I would be able to make it to one, since both of them worked, not to mention I was starting to get cold feet. I truly regret not signing up, but I know that I can't change the past. However, there's always next year.
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