Monday, November 8, 2004

A weekend worthy to make up for the crappy week
I didn't think it would be possible, but sure enough, my weekend easily, and positively, outweighs the venting in my last post. And once again.. we get a taste of how love is the greatest thing this world has to offer.

WARNING: This post contains boring, romantic, relationship stuff.

Shin: Hey, I'm lazy, can't blame me. :p ..alright, you can. -.-
Sen: You're such a slacker, too, Sen! This is like the first time you commented in.. what, a month? XD
Japan: Damn right I'm lazy. A field trip to the mall? That's what I like to hear!
Mimmi: Glad you liked it, heh. ^_^ And hey, if nothing else, I gotta choose something that's better at one college.
Ryudo: You didn't think I was serious, did you? :o I have a weird sense of humor. ~_^
Syk3: Shut. The hell. Up. Rub it in our faces, my ass!
Arcadia: Phew, good thing I don't play baseball. :D
PT: 80's movie, 70's movie, doesn't matter to me! :p

Mimmi: That's alright. I think anything would have helped; certainly nothing could make it worse.
Solo: Crap indeed. God flushes upon me. :/
AJeh: It's just one of those days.
Arcadia: Amen! :) What? :)
Karmi: It's when those little things join forces.
Juu: It was a little better, thanks.
Shin: Tell me about it! Alaska didn't even make pot legal. :p
Ryudo: Yeah, sorta.

I was kind of reluctant to post about this, thinking that my brother or parents might sometmes drop by the site to read, but eh, I don't really care anymore, lol. If they want to be sneaky assholes, more power to them..

For those that know at least some insight into my personal life other than what I've been posting here, you would know that I haven't been in a relationship since Mei and I broke up back in January. At the time, I was pretty heart-broken, despite our obvious hardships that would have been maintained, what with her living half-way across the country. We had been together for a total of 7 months and only actually met once in real life, at a time in our lives when we were looking more for an insightful emotional relationship than one that was physical. So that worked for us. It took me a couple weeks to get over the grief of it after we broke it off, and I realized that a relationship with someone that I could hold and touch was in my best interest.

Well, time passed, and I must have realized that I wasn't very popular with the ladies offline. I didn't have any confidence to do something like start a conversation with a girl I liked or ask them out on a date. In fact, I didn't even even have any friends who were girls, other than a few who I would call aquantences. I didn't have anything to really worry about, and no in-the-field experience I might add, but I decided that I wouldn't really worry about relationships in high school. It didn't make sense to me why two people would go out, in some cases when neither could drive, when they didn't really like each other and weren't going to be with each other for a long time. It became, in my mind, as if their "relationship" consisted of them walking each other to class and making out in the hall. I told myself that if the right girl happened to come along (them of course making the first move, since I'm too much of a chicken, lol), I wouldn't turn down the opportunity, but otherwise I'd kind of just stay out of the way. And if I did happen to start dating a girl, I told myself that we would go out on various dates, and by the third one, I would know whether she was really interested and the relationship would become implied. But reading between the lines, this also meant that I wouldn't allow myself to open up to the girl until I was sure that there would be a relationship in order. Why get upset if it doesn't make it that far, right? Well if you close yourself up until then, I've recently realized, how will the girl know the real you and be sure whether she's interested or not?

When you're on a date with a girl, you have to let things flow. Be yourself, of course; don't force yourself to like her, because if you two aren't compitable then it obviously wasn't meant to be. Have confidence as well, and don't hold back your feelings. If the girl is giving you hints, BY GOD TAKE THEM! Don't think about it, and be greedy, or else you'll never advance in the relationship, or even get to a relationship status at all.

Which brings me to my situation. I'll tell you up front that if I had a lot of that advice beforehand, it would have kept me from acting like such an ass in some instances, and I hope it helps in some way or another. About a week ago, a friend of mine, Jimmy, asks if I want to double date with him and his girlfriend on Friday to see a movie. Of course, I didn't even have a date to begin with, but then he tells me that his girlfriend's friend broke up with her boyfriend a week or two ago and is looking for someone else. I didn't have anything to lose, so I thought, "what the Hell?" and I told him that I'd see him Friday. Well Friday finally came and I went over to his house to meet with my "blind date", heh, and as soon as I walk in and see her.. omg, I'm captivated. o.o; Straight, medium length brown hair, a cute kind of hot, and great body overall. XD So Jimmy and his girlfriend Patty kick us out of his room for a while, until we had to leave for the movie, and that left some awkward conversation between me and the girl, Molly. Finally we were able to go to the movie, and the double date acted as an easy way to get conversation going (especially afterwards). We saw Saw.. for me, again, but that's alright. It was worth it, heh. Molly was a little shaken up about it, but it wasn't really a scary movie, so she was alright. ^_^ We got back to the house afterwards and Patty took out this book called "If^2", which basically lists a lot of questions that is great to ask around in a group. It's a great game, heh, and we had a lot of fun with that. I was sad when Molly's parents arrived to pick her up because we had such a good time, but I just met her that day, so I wasn't madly in love with her or anything, lol. I got a hug and I was fine. ^_^

The next day I wake up and my mom says that Jimmy wanted me to call him back. I call him and he says that Molly had a great time, she likes me, and wants to hang out again that day. How could I resist? We end up making plans for everyone to come over to my place, so I cleaned up what I had to, lol. When Molly got here, she looked even more stunning than the night before, and obviously did a lot to prepare. :p Once I finally got to dog calmed down a bit, we all went down to the basement and Jimmy showed us his incense burner, and ended up burning incense the entire night. I swear, it still smells like it down there, and my parents asked if we were trying to hide anything. >_< Molly had never seen Family Guy before (!!!) so the first thing that we did was pop in the DVDs and watch. After a while, Jimmy and Patty couldn't contain themselves, so I told them to go into the backroom, and they were in there for hours. @_@ But that also gave me time with Molly. At around 7:00 I forced myself to make a move and did that fake little stretch thing and put my arm around her. XD "Do you mind? ^_^;" "*smiles* Not at all.. *leans in closer*". We just sat there holding each other forever. I eventually took one of her hands with my free one and we just cuddled. At one point, she kept looking at me, and I knew she wanted me to lean in and kiss her. Remember what I said before, though.. That's right. I didn't act on the move. In fact, I explained my motives. Yes, I'm an idiot. I told her about the 3-date thing and how I was looking for a serious relationship, and even how I've been holding back. Of course, by that time, Jimmy had found his way out of the backroom and dragged me back there this time and told me what an idiot I was. And suddenly it hit me. Why was I looking for a serious relationship? Why did I just not think about it and go with the flow? STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.

At this point, I was utterly pissed with myself for bypassing the perfect opportunity. In fact, that's basically all I've been thinking about for the past couple days and I wish I could just take it all back.. So I run out the backroom and go straight to Molly. "I don't know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have been thinking at all, I was an idiot. Gah." And I leaned in and we kissed. I think that really helped to break the tension of the moment, and we played the If game until her mom got there. After hearing the doorbell, we took our time standing up, and then kissed again - a longer, more intense kiss than the first. We made our way upstairs and finally answered the door, heh. Luckily her mom wasn't too mad, and she left to wait in the car. Patty was getting a ride with Molly as well, so that pretty much ended the night. It was then when Molly turned to me and we kissed for a third time, and this one really hit me. It was like at the stage right before tongue. X_X "I guess that's a yes for a next time? heh"

That next time is coming Thursday. I still don't know if I was able to make up for my stupid mistakes before we finally kissed, and even her friend tells me that Molly is really unsure, so I'll just have to prove myself on Thursday, when we have the day off. I've felt sick with stress the past two days, so I'm just going to tell myself that I'll do fine and just do with the flow, and until then do things to get my mind off of it.

Wish me luck. And I'm sorry if I bored you all. :p

EDIT: I just found this on Patty's xanga..

"I got to go to the movies with Jimmy, and molly and greg looked soo interested in each other friday, but now its sunday, and we also(all 4 of us) hung out yesterday at Greg's house. It was pretty cool cause Molly and Greg finally kissed!! yays!! I'm soo happy for them cause i know they will be a good couple if they do indeed date each other(which most likely will happen)."

This is Molly's best friend in the world; they tell each other everything. Very good sign, I hope. ^_^;
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