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myOtaku.com: Sw33tSamurai90
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Friday, April 16, 2004
Nooooo...!!!!!
ok...well i didn't pre-type my post so it's gonna take a while, and there might be a lot of typos. anywayz, the thing is...i think i ruined my love life T_T. today was suppose to be the day that i talk to 'Twix' and tell him that i like him...but i chickened out! i had my time during lunch, but then me and my lil group asked our lang. arts teacher if we can eat lunch with her in her room. we were jus playing and we didn't think she would say yea, but she did. so i kind of left him there. then when it was about 5 minutes before lunch was gonna be released, we went out to go to the cafeteria to return the trays. i didn't have a tray since i jus bought this cup of fries, but i wanted to see if i could bump into him while i'm outside. the thing was...i did. but what happened was i kind of got nervous and i kind of walked away jus so he wouldn't be able to see me biting my lip to death. then one of his friends come over to me and tells me that Kr wanted to tell me something and that he wanted me to come over, or he would have to 'escort' me to him. then i told him i can walk myself over there. i was about to go, but then...i got nervous, really nervous. i should have gone...but no...i got too shy and scared..and all of the above...and i didn't go. i jus left to go to spanish T_T.
i was really mad the whole 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th period since i didn't get to talk to him about it. i saw him a few times in the hallway and outside when he would go to his locker...but i didn't really talk to him. we made eye contact, but...i was too shy to even wave to him!
then after i got released from 8th period...i was hoping to see him by his locker like he usually is, and yay! he was there. i had a plan of jus going up to him and give him a quick hug and tell him i like him and jus leave. but right when i got up to him...and i mean at the same time i got up to him...my plan changed! i jus ended up asking him if there was something that he wanted to tell me. because...u know...his friends have been telling me that he wanted to talk to me and all. but...it took about 10 seconds for him to answer, and he jus shook his head no. but the thing was i was looking at his eyes and they were sooo cute! he's got really cute hazel eyes...and it was like...i was trying not to stare but i couldn't help. and then when i got my answer..i had no other reason to stay, and i was to shy to tell him i like him. then i regrouped with Ric3 and Chieu, and they were asking me what he said and it took me only 3 seconds to tell it, and i got a bit sad.
i feel so stupid at the moment...and he probably hates me now. i left him a bit too much...and that's not like the usual me. i thought i got over the nervousness around guys...but no..i guess not -_-.
well thanx for reading, and aren't u happy the post isn't so long? haha. well yea...that was the BIG thing that happened today. and it made me feel all happy in the beginning and i couldn't stop laughing thinking of him...and then...i turned out crappy at the end. but i did wait a minute at this one spot in the bus area waiting for him so i can have jus a second and tell him that i meant to tell him that i liked him but i jus chickened out over by his locker. but...he didn't come. then...it only took about 10 seconds to walk from that spot to my bus...and when i sat down i looked out the window and he was jus passing that spot i was at!!! i mean!!! GRRRrrr!!! and this all started two weeks ago, when i came up to him to ask for his s/n. and then...things between us changed...and then on last friday when chieu left me, things got bad since i the secret kind of got out big time that day. and now...this friday. *sighs*...i ruined my love life all the way now. if onli i stayed with that 'single for life pride' thing...i would be in a better mood. it's all An1m3's fault! when she slept over she kept interupting what i was saying with ' i want a boyfriend!' and then she got me to saying that...and....being single is the way to be...man...i shoulda known better T_T!!!!
well...thanx again for reading, and listening to me whine. that's the best way to put it too^^. if i'm lucky he might go over his friend's house to use his friend's AIM since he has yahoo instead, and i might get to talk to him. or...i'll jus have to suffer till monday. buh bye for now pplz. and i'll ttyl.
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