Monday, October 27, 2008

   nothing...... just like me
i fell like i screw everything up and that i'm not worth anything anymore... here lately i've been happy but something deep down inside keeps saying ur nothing and u will never be anything... i listen to it and i know i'm sounding like a crazy person right now but i do feel like i'm nothing and that i will never amount to anything... it's like everyone i love is needing me all at once and when they got what they want they get rid of me and act like i was never anything in the first place... i give everything i've got and then i get thrown away... i'm about ready to give up and stop caring b/c it's getting me no where.... everyone is leaving me and they are all acting weird and acting like they don't want me around anymore... they say it's not true but it feels like it is... i odn't know what to do anymore... i don't know what to believe anymore... and i don't know who to trust anymore... it's all going down hill and i don't know how to make it go back up to the top where it needs to be... and also my family is falling apart even worse... i can't fix it anymore it just gets worse... matter of fact i can't help anoyone anymore and i can't fix anything anymore...i'm useless....
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Thursday, September 25, 2008

   I JUST WANT IT TO END!!!
OK!!! i am about ready to beat the hell out of a lot of ppl! they really need to learn how to keep their fucking mouths shut and keep their damn rumers to themselves!!! i'm so sick of all their bullshit! i know i usually don't talk like this... i'm just really pissed!!!! i hate that just b/c they have a problem with me or if they have a problem with my friend then they need to come talk to us about it not behind our backs!!!!they are going to wish that they were never born b/c they ar eabout to get their payback a million times worse! i'm tired of just standing there and leting this shit happen i'm putting a stop to it and i'm fighting back hard! i'm not going to be the nice person anymore! they better hope and pray that i don't get my hands on them b/c if i do they are dead! it's payback time to all of them and if i hurt any of my friends for anything that i'm about to do or if i have ever done anything to hurt any of you i'm so very sorry! i'm not goning to let this happen anymore! it's time to put a stop to it and it's going to be now!!!!! and today is not starting out to be a good day either so they better keep their mouths shut unless they want my fist in them! i'm not playing around this time! i want it all to end even if it means i have to leave for good! it's going to stop once and for all!
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Monday, September 22, 2008

  today was an ok day not great but i've had this funny feeling all day like something is going to happen i keep gettin these feelings and it is startiing to frea me out i don't kno what they mean or anything! i'm going crazy here! i don't know what to do but i hope that everything goes alright and that nothing goes wrong... anyways i have had a few rough spots today but they got worked back out i helped my friend through a relationship crisis and now my friend is happy again! they told me that i am the best girl anyone will ever find but i told them i didn't believe them bc there are a lot of better girls out there and i'm not one of them... so i kinda got in an arguement with them and now they are mad at me b/c i won't believe them and i can't believe them b/c it isn't true i'm just an ordinary girl there is nothing special about me not at all!!! but they won't listen to me!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!
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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

   why bother anymore....
ok most of you are probably wondering what i mean by that well here it goes....
i'm so sick and tired of everything failing!!! it isn't just one thing its EVERYTHING and its ALL the time... and time flies by so fast you don't have time to say goodbye b/c when you go to say goodbye to someone you love they are already gone and u never get the chance! it makes me so freakin mad! i hate it and i want to curl up in a ball and just say forget it and not ever try again b/ ci'm sick of trying and failin or having it blow up in my face! so i say y bother anymore y not just let everything fail and fall apart like it does anyways!!!!
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