Monday, February 5, 2007

alcohol always does one good.
hey everybody. how was your weekend? mine was okay. friday night - fought with my dad over the phone.big woop.[him nd my mom are divorced and he lives in cali][and yes we do argue all time so w/e.]
saturday - wegmans wine and spirit section...is like heaven.hahaha. uhm..lets see what happened?...right..memories,wine coolers, and laughing.
sunday - studying. and no i did not watch the super bowl personally i think its a waste of time only because watching sports doesnt interest me at all.
today - brutal walk outside and it was freezing. me without my jacket on...yes i know im an idiot you don't have to tell me.
right so about my title..subject thing...uhm..all i have to say is...its true. alcohol does do one good..especially under stress and such. now im not a crazy alcohol if thats what your thinking. im just saying once in a while like yeah..b4 i go on and on explaining i'll go...have a great day ^^ and if anyone actually reads/comments this...hahaha that'd be a miracle....
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Friday, February 2, 2007

can someone explain this nonsense?
hey.okay so can someone please try explaining something to me. so today in spanish our class got our brochures that we made. and i got a 34/50 and my friend got a 35/50 and our 'mistakes' were marked. then we saw this other kids brochure and he got like a 40/50. and his paper was marked up like ours too and stuff. so tell me...what did we do wrong? i dont get it. personally i thought i was going to get a good grade on this. but w/e she's fucking retarted and i hate her with a PASSION! a huge firey buring i-want-you-to-have-a-slow-painful-death hating passion. so me and my friend didnt do anything to her to make her hates us. so can someone try explaining what the hells up with this bs nonsense? like really...i can go on forever...but anyways. other than that and like maybe a couple more things...my day was fine. well it snowed for a little hahaha yeahh...anyways have a great weekend ^^
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Thursday, February 1, 2007

i know this is late...but oh well
hey ^^ yeah i know im kinda posting late...in my time @ least...anyways but yeahh...enjoy:

&& no one will ever see these tears of hers
no one will ever know the real her
simply because no one will ever care that much for her

&& all these quotes she reads
its like people understands...
yet she still finds emptyness inside

&& of all the shit shes gone through she learns a lesson everytime

&& of all the people shes met so far...
she still doesnt know who tells the truth
and who lies

"don't worry everything will be the same" they said
but in her mind she knew that was a lie

as she gazes out her window
she sees a shooting star
and her one and only wish
is for everything to be okay

yup well thats all.hahaha i wrote these so long ago..[heheh kinda...].well anyways sorry for posting so late[well in my time and such].well anyways have a great day =) 'till next time
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Monday, January 29, 2007

just some poems and quotes...

&& she's always writing something in some book.
and all they do is wonder what she's writing about.

&& now everytime she looks in the mirror
she sees her eyes, like they are glass

twisting.turning.all around
the leaves fall
she's with everyone she cares for
playing in the park
she blinks...
it all goes away
and then she realizes
it was all just a memory

shes hoping someday someone will understand
but she knows her hopes always come crashing down.

they tell her they love and care for her
but sometimes she wonders if thats all just a lie
and sometimes she just wants to test them
by attempted suicide

they call her crazy
they call her insane
the list goes on and on
but she doesn't really care
because she can't hear anything
because she's in her own world

as her silent tears fall
she makes a promise to herself
that this will never happen again
and that no one will ever see her tears again

well tell me what ya honestly think of what i wrote. yes i actually wrote these all..not today but at some moment and point in time. i just don't tell people when i write things so yeah...anyways have a great day ^^
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Sunday, January 28, 2007

questions questions and more questions...yaay just what i need...not!
hey =) how are you guys? well as you know this site is mainly for my poems and just i guess some of my thoughts and whatnot. yeah so anyways yesterday...i found myself questioning things...as usual. but i don't know it kinda put me down a little bit i guess. and that really sucks since i've actually been having a good week except for the fact that im probably failing math. and if i do then w/e i'll just do better next time.

so what was todays question[s]?simple..as usual there about life. one was on...well i asked myself who do i go to for anything? and i realized...i go to no one but myself usually unless i get to the point where im about to breakdown and i feel like i need to talk to anyone. and thats a very bad habit for me because when that happens i usually go to one person im talking to at the moment....don't ask how its a bad habit it just is...trust me it can lead to a lot of shit i dont need. want an example?

my example:okay lets see i was fighting with someone about some shit i did in the past. i felt bad or w/e so who did i go to? simple someone i was talking to on aim.at the moment i was talking to 3 ppl.1 being the person i was fighting with. 2 being my best friend.3 being my friend.so who'd i go to?...i went to talk to person number 3. and person number 2 found out..what'd that lead to?simple shit i didnt need.

but i guess it was kind of worth it in the end. how'd the ending to this go?..person 1 ended up not being my friend. person 2 ending not being my friend thanks to the help of some people. and person 3 ended up being my new best friend[yeah thats the good part...wanna hear the rest?..]

the rest: i didn't say shit to anyone bout it. and it turns out all my other friends found out which lead to more crap. which lead to confusing crap. and who'd they find out from?simple person number 1. i said somethings to her i shouldn't have and she told people. which lead some..im not sure how many...people into believing i want people to pity me. which yes lead to me being pissed cuz 1 i hate it when people pity me it annoys me. 2 person 1 shouldnt have said anything to anyone. 3 i didnt even say anything to my other friends about it person 1 did..and why? probably to get my other friends to not like me? but honestly if she hated me so much..then why talk about me...why not just friggen forget i ever existed and go on with your damn life. w/e she supposly helped person 2 end up not being my friend. and yes i had a fight with person number 2 also. and guess what? while she was telling me off i kept my mouth shut. your probably like what? or why?

the answer: why tell her off? sure i could have. but what would that do? lead to more fighting and stuff. no. i'd rather for her to find things out on her own. and now i honestly don't care about person 1 or 2 because well i don't even who they are anymore.

leason i learned: try not acting on impulse.even though our fight was pretty retarted but w/e. and trusting certain girls will get you crap you don't need. it also helped me not trust basically anyone...kinda.but w/e.

yes i do realize this looks like one persons fault. but since i actually didnt tell you everything that happened then you do realize that its not just one persons fault.it was mine too.

yes i realized this was kinda a pointless post. seeing as this example happened like forever ago. and the only reason its so long is cuz i gave you an example. one that b4 i would have cared about who to tell.but now i really don't care who knows because people have been told about this before so w/e.and if you actually read all of this without skimming it then your my new hero and im sorry for wasting your time. anyways have a great day ^-^
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Friday, January 26, 2007

..idk...i found it so might as well fill it out not like i have anything else to do

Tell Everyone About Yourself
Time started::	uhmm 11:11pm
Basic About you:
Name::	wouldnt you like to know?
Gender::	Female.
Height::	short?haha idk like 4'11" or 5'0"?
Eye color::	extreamly dark brown.
Hair Color::	black.
Age::	14
Birthday::	June 14,1992
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous::	Lefty
Piercings::	yes,ears.
Tatoos::	nah
Zodiac Sign::	gemini
Ring Size::	how the shit do i know?
Grade::	9th
More about you:
Are you named after anyone?:	not that i know of..
Do you live in the moment?:	yup.
Do you consider yourself tolerent to others?:	somewhat.
Do you have any secrets?:	sure.who doesnt?
Do you hate yourself?:	why do you care?
Do you like your handwriting?:	kind of.
Do you have any bad habits?:	sure do.
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?:	haha depends. XD
Any regrets?:	yup.tons of em
Do you think life has been good so far?:	it has its ups and downs.
Are you confident?:	depends.
How long does it take you to shower?:	i don't know.i don't keep track.is that weird?
What color is your room?:	white
Where do you want to attend college?:	i don't know.
Do you...?
Smoke?:	nah.
Do drugs?:	nope.
Drink?:	haha no comment
Go to church?:	...yeah its boring though...since its in spanish and all.
Sleep with stuffed animals?:	yes and no.
Take walks in the rain?:	hell yes! i love the rain =)
Talk to people even if you hate them?:	uhm..depends i guess...kinda...
Drive?:	not yet.
Believe in premarital sex?:	yeah and no
Want to get married?:	not really. your gunna get divorced anyways..
Want to go to college?:	idk..maybe.but not really.
Want to have children?:	nah.kids arent for me.
Sing in the shower?:	nah
Get along with you parents?:	my mom hell yeah. my dad...ehh...kinda not really
Get along with your sibling/s?:	yeah =)
Color/highlight your hair?:	nope.
Like coffee?:	yes =]
Wear makeup everytime you go out?:	not really.
Love roller coasters?:	not really.
Like to cook?:	haha yeah kinda
Have you ever...?
Hurt yourself? :	who hasnt?
Been out of the country?:	yes
Been in love?:	nope.
Done drugs?:	nah
Gone skinny dipping?:	haha no
Had surgery?:	nahh
Played strip poker?:	hahaha no.
Been on stage?:	yeah
Pulled an all nighter?:	fuck yes
Gone one day without food?:	..uhm...waiit...no.
Slept all day?:	yes =)
Kissed a stranger?:	nah
Had a dream that came true?:	....somewhat...
Broken the law?:	yeah
Stolen anything?:	haha no comment =)
Been on radio/tv?:	uhm..no?
Been in a mosh-pit?:	almost. XD
Bungee jumped?:	nah
Had a dream that kept coming back?:	yeah
Gone out of state?:	sure have
Live in other states?:	yup
Eaten an entire box of oreos?:	hahaha no
Had a movie marathon?:	yes =]
Spun until you were immensely dizzy?:	omg yes! its extreamly fun!! =)
Been on a plane?:	yup yup
Ran into a wall?:	hahaha sadly yes XD
Been rejected by a crush?:	no comment
Cried in public?:	uhmm..not that i can remember.
Cried over a movie?:	almost.
Pranked called someone?:	hell yea!
Gotten a cavity?:	uhm...yes?
Shopped at Abercrombie and Fitch?:	nope.
Broken a bone?:	haha no.
Fallen from a tree?:	...not yet XD
Passed out?:	nope. i want to know what it feels like though...
Been to a theme park?:	uhm.....no?...wait!yes i think i have
Eaten sushi?:	nah havent tried that shit yet.
This or That
Pepsi or Coke::	doesnt matter
McDonalds or BUrger King::	doesnt matter
Chocolate or Vanilla::	depends.
Black or White::	both
Burgers or Hot dogs::	burgers. im not very fond of hot dogs
Boxers or breifs::	idc
Book or magazine::	idc
TV or radio::	tv.
is the glass half empty or half full::	its both.
sun or moon::	moon =)
hot or cold::	depends.
romantic comedy or thriller::	thriller.
waffles or pancakes::	both =)
Florida or california::	...california =) i was born there =)
Black and white or color photos::	both!
The city, the beach, OR the country::	the city!!
Tennis shoes or sandals::	eh...depends.
Sweet or sour::	...once again depends.
Private or publie school::	public school!!
Cappuccino or coffee::	both!
English or history::	i honestly dont care.
Science or math::	...none cuz i dont like those subjects.
Do you believe ...?
in miracles?:	...somewhat.
in magic?:	sure.
in God?:	....ehh thats debatable.
in Satan?:	once again thats debatable.
in ghosts?:	sure
in luck?:	yurp.
in love at first sight?:	...not really.
in Santa?:	ahaha i used too.
in the Easter Bunny?:	.....maybe...XD
in witches?:	...not really.
that it's possible to remain faithful forever?:	depends on the person.
in wishing on shooting stars?:	haha yes.
that cussing is a necessity in life?:	hahaha for me?yeah.for other people...thats debatable.
yourself?:	somewhat.
Love and all that -
Do you consider love a mistake?:	no comment.
If someone you had no interest in had interest in dating you how would you:	..the ? isnt finished.but i'd probably let them down...or maybe i'd see how it goes.
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them?:	sure.
What is worst about the opposite sex?:	hahaha...uhmm..there assholes?..then again who isnt now a days?...idk theres a list.
Who and when was your first crush?:	hahah like i'd tell you that =X
First thing you notice about the opposite sex?:	their face?
Right this moment...
What are you wearing?:	jeans. and a hoodie thats too big for me.
What are you worried about?:	nothing...
What book are you reading?:	nothing.
What time is it?:	11:30pm
Are you bored?:	kinda..
Are you tired?:	not really.
Are you talking to anyone online or on the phone?:	yeah online.
Are you lonely or content?:	eh..content at the moment.
Are you listening to music, if so then what?:	yes! Beauty In The Breakdown by The Scene Aesthetic =D
The Last...
Dream you had::	haha i cant even remember.i sadly don't dream that often.
Nightmare::	same answer as the dream ?.cept i dont have nightmares that often.
Time you cried::	don't remember.
Movie you watched::	Employee Of The Month.lol.
Movie you rented::	Employee Of The Month,Saw 3,and Big Fish
Book you read::	Night
Word you said::	uhm..
Time you laughed::	just now =)
Person to call you::	my brother.
CD you played::	uhm...Coheed and Cambria.
Song you listened to::	Baby, You Wouldn't Last A Minute On The Creek by Chiodos.
annoyance::	my brother.
IM sent or recieved::	kiddingggg..chillax :] -- my last im recieved.
Time you yelled::	uh....today when i was hyper =)
Person you yelled at::	my dog cuz he was being bad.
time you were a skirt::	lmao.uhm..lets see..last year?at my bestfriends sisters sweet 16 party.
time you fought with your parents::	not sure.
Time you wished on a shooting star::	forgot.
Thing you ate::	Fun Dip!! and now i want more!! =)
Time you showered::	today.
Nail polish color worn::	uhm..dk XD
Your favorite:
Type of gum::	dont have a favorite.
Restaurant::	dont have a favorite.
Season::	Fall!!
Type of weather::	Fall weather.rain.storms.XD
Emotion::	being hyper/happy...
Color::	...dont really have a favorite but lets go with red.
Perfume::	Strawberries and Champagne
Candy::	omg..too many!!
Pizza topping::	Cheese.
Fruit::	Strawberries.
Veggie::	none
Type of cake::	Ice Cream Cake!!
Magazine::	eh..dont have a favorite.
TV Show::	...right now: Heroes!!
Day of the week::	Saturday.
Month::	August.i guess..
Holiday::	Christmas.
Number::	...never really thought about it.
Sport to watch::	haha..your kidding right?i cant watch sports...dk why i just cant.
Flower::	hmm..never really thought about that either.and yes i know im a weird sad child but thats just who i am.
Finally...
Time Finished::	11:41pm
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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

amazed
hey. wow so things have been going okay lately which is really weird.im really amazed actually.i mean sure i still have like a million questions in my head but hey thats just the way things are.but other than that...i can't really say anything is going completely messed up...except for maybe my math grade right now. hmm...this is weird...really it is..im just like waiting for things to get messed up..but till then i guess i'll just continue enjoying life while things are still going okay with the exception of my math grade of course.yeah so i'll make this short since as usual while i type this im attempting to do my hwk.which is pretty hard when i have no motivation..i just realized that today too. yest i finished my hwk fast since i wanted to watch Heroes. but now...nope nothing really to motivate me...oh well.yeah so anyways have a great day ^^ ::hugs::
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Saturday, January 20, 2007

realization..
i just realized something.this is really random but once again i dont have time to write a poem so w/e. i realized that i don't really have a best friend i mean like i do but i dont if that makes any sense. if i really think about it...i keep things mostly my emotions to myself...i guess. i mean like yeah i tell people things bc i don't give a shit if they tell other people or something. unless i like make them promise or whatever. but...throughout my whole life so far..i haven't really had a best friend that stuck. they all just fade away in time. and yeah i completely lost whatever it was that i was trying to say but yeah. i dont know...whatever im not making any sense right now. i'll probably read this later and be like "wow im a dumbass wtf was i thinking" anyways im gunna go now because i really need to sleep[its like 1am here].yeah...have a good day ^^ ::hugs:: 'till next time.
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Thursday, January 18, 2007

back to point blank
everythings all weird again...i guess. im probably like bipolar or something. i go from mood to mood and point to point. but i guess thats just part of 'growing up'.w/e i'll figure things out and if i can't then...well....then thats a secret...i guess. it was snowing today so thats good. well anyways i have to go before i start typing things that i shouldnt because they belong either in my mind and nowhere else.in a poem.or between me and my best friend[s] and such.have a great day. 'till next time.
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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

just leave it up to me...like always...
hey.so now im somewhat feeling much better.right now im currently hyper. and i still havent finished my homework.hahaha. well anyways how'd i do it?how did i make myself feel somewhat better...for now? simple...i have no idea.all i know is that as usual i got no help...at all really. but thats okay...and i've figured that it was pretty stupid of me to post my post yesterday since well no one really gives..but w/e i felt like i had to so i did. anyways yeah. so i gotta stop typing this and go. anyone that reads this have a great day ^-^
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