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• 1985-09-29
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Female
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• 2005-04-06
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• Lenuh
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• to play all the cool videogame there ever was.
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• cooking? lolz.
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005
that's just how life is...
last night, i was really really pissed off. as i've said, my ex-boyfriend and i belonged to an anime community in a chatroom. what happened was, this certain guy was talking about something and i know...he's referring to me. the catch is, he's humiliating me in front of everyone. and some of them joined in not knowing they're all talking about me. they all thought, we broke up because of Ragnarok Online; which is not. he was the one who broke the news, i guess that's the catch here...who ever broke the news first is the one believable. yeah, my friends don't know his side of the story...but they just kept quiet. but look at him, he himself use quotations that's referring to me. yeah, i am affected. can't i be happy? or i don't deserve to because i left him...that's what everyone thought. i don't know...i'm beginning to feel really really bad. all my life, i just want to be happy. i always fail; i'm a failure. lolz. maybe that's the reason i like aoi kagura of flame of recca. for those who haven't read the manga, he's a villain. the failed experiment of kouran mori. and...i don't belong to any community. everytime i join...something happens that'll just make me leave.
why? why can't i be happy? why can't i do my things? lolz. maybe...if i die, people won't even notice about it. will someone weep for me? no...i don't think so...because i'm just a worthless person...just as what my mom always tell me...i'm nothing but a worthless child...ahahaha. i don't have any use to anyone. i failed as a daughter, i failed as a cousin, i failed as a friend, i failed as a girlfriend...and i failed as a human. i am nothing but a society trash. lolz.
anywayz...that's all.
matta ne...
read this to know more about what i'm talking about. it's aoi kagura. what she said there...i feel the same. lolz.
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