Wednesday, August 30, 2006

   Ohana: Pamilya, walang iwanan
So far, I've been enjoying college life. I made great friends, I like my course, I like my basketball team mates, I'm getting really good grades (for the ver first time in my life) and its a breeze, I like my professors, I still get to talk to my old classmates, and I'm having fun.

There may have been a few ups and downs in my college life, but we would always move forward. 1K1 and 1K2 are great and we have the same policy that IV-4 had: "Walang Iwanan". So I was thinking Lilo and Stitch, "Ohana means 'Family', Family means 'no one gets left behind'". But something suddenly rocked (in a negative way) the boat in our life.

Here's what I typed in YM! to my friend Denise who asked me about it.

Ara Valena: kami ung last batch ng interior design kasi the sisters are planning to remove our course, so next year they won't be accepting freshmen for ID. By 4th year, we r d only ones who r gng to be in ID, after tht wala na

Ara Valena: di lng ung course namin, but also d psyc and accounting course. they told d students b4 dey told d parents. so now d ID parents are complaining so now dey r gng to hve a meeting on tues and talk about dis situation.

Ara Valena: pero just earlier, my ID profs talked to d sisters. sabi daw nila that we rili are d last batch of ID students, pero der will be a new course (interior architecture) tht will replace ID. its like id daw pero with a few changes. so after our batch, der will be another batch with a course under d name of interior archi

Here's a summary of it all (and I realized that each of my YM! are aranged by the occurence of the event:

Day 1, Ym 1: Tatangaling na nila ang ID. We are the last batch of ID students and after us, there won't be anymore students. What really made us mad/depressed was the fact that the teachers were leaving and they told us before they even told their parents. They clamied that it was final. We all cursed and cried; what was going to happen to us? It made me even more depressed to find out that everyone started having plans of moving to UST. Even though I am do not agree with the idea 100 %, as long as I am with my friends, anything will be fine. When I broke the news to my Tita and my mom, I felt like they didn't care, it was alright with them. I felt that they really didn't understand me and couldn't symphatize with me; it was like they said "ah ok". Seriously, I don't think this is a situation werein an "ah ok" answer is needed. I couldn't beleive what I heard, they were actually ok with it and they were saying that it's for the best. HOW CAN IT BE FOR THE BEST? THEY WERE NOT IN OUR SHOES, THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW WE FELT, AND NEITHER DID THE SISTERS!" I got home, cried, and learned to meditate (which is kinda relaxing after all the stuff that went into my head awhile ago)

Day 2, Ym 2: Tuesday, we still haven't fully recovered from the news that we received yesterday, and we aired out all our fustrations during Theo (I'm sorry talaga for taking ur time Ms. Mercado). The day went by normally of course with a few talks here and there. During our freehand drawing, we received news from our prof that Sam's mom has talked to someone (some official probably) and now the parents of ID are going to have a meeting about this situation, so that meant there was a good chance that we won't be remoed because our parents have the power to persuade the higher ups (I heard Hanna's dad was ready to hire a lawyer :p). I hope I can convince at least my tita to come along (even though that might mean that she sees me in my uniform). My stand: I'm staying no matter what (partlly because tita and mom don't want me in UST) because I want to be like what sir said, a not literal dying star, to go out with a bang, to prove the nuns that we're right and they're wrong. I'm standing with AC and going against the odds with 1k1 and 1k2 til the very end.
Coach told me I was late T_T how many times do I have to tell them I am late every tues. I hope I get accepted into the varsity, until then, I will do my best to prove myself to my future teamates, my coaches, and myself, so I'm going to work hard.

Day 3, YM 3: No more NSTP, so no more morning classes. I arrived here at 2, but everyone's just there sitting and slacking off; we received news later that the ID profs will have a meeting, so free time! Honestly, after the whole "no more ID incident", this is the most fun that I had ever had. We played games like Limbo, chinese garter, piggy back, and even hide and seek. Ah...reliving my childhood days. I can brag endlessly about this to my old classmates who are already experienceing stress ( I don't feel the slightest amount of stress...but maybe I will tommorow because I have to do something for psyc and I forgot my book and I haven't started in enlish and my sketch is dues tom and its ugly and its already past 9 D:). Anyway, we received news earlier: we really are the last batch of ID students, no question about it, but there will be a new course similar to ID which is going to take ID after us, that course is Interior architecture (yey! we get kapatiran sisters daw). I was glad that everyone was starting to go back to their normal selves.

I prayed to God and left it in his hands, and now I beleive that nothing really is impossible for God. He turned a hopeless situation into a hopeful one. During my prayer ng Monday, I asked God why he failed me in Ateneo and put me in a course that was doomed to be removed? During the last few days, I think God was trying to teach me something, to stand strong. I learned God wanted to teach me Ohana, "walang iwanan". Walang iwanan sa course, sa teacher, sa blockmates, sa school at sa 3rd family (2nd family is IV-4, 3rd familiy is 1k1 and 1k2). We will all face this problem toghether and stand strong, hindi kami iiwanan ni God, kaya dapat hindi namin iwanan ang isa't isa. That is what I beleive, and that is what I'll do. Tomorrow, whether we receive good news or bad news, I will leave it all up to God and have faight in him.
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Friday, June 16, 2006

   WTF?! I am sooooo going to be a rebel!!
Today's Friday. So what's so special about it (other than it being the day before Saturday)? My class in Math is from 7:45 - 9:30 am and my P.E. (boring lecture mode) is from 3:30 - 5:30 pm...meaning...I have a 6 hour break!!!

This is the first time I've experienced it. Since I'm a college student now, I can bring any electronic device that is not allowed in high school (cellphones and i-pods) and I can go in and out of the school anytime I want!! :))

There's only one problem though...

The nag, the most untrusting, binding, and overprotective aunt, Tita Valerie "Nag" Valena.

All my blockmates are having a fun time in Glorietta and I'm the only one who's not there because the estupido bastardo Tita doesn't want to allow me to go to Glorietta! Le Biatch Witch is so over protective to the point that it's annoying! Honestly I don't want to grow up like her even though you can look up to her. But the problem is she's all work and no play. Not even a teeny bit relax!

She's a very nice person and I love her (I am just so frustrated at her right now at this very moment) but sometimes I come to a conclusion that she doesn't trust me or thinks that I'm still a kid. I like the fact that people think I'm a kid (it's good to be youthful), but not to the point that they think of me as a baby who needs to be protected all the time and is dependent on someone else.

I'm not that helpless! But Le biatch thinks I am! Whenever my mom's not home, she says "Ara, you guys have to sleep in my house", even if Ate Lisa is in here. To make that worse, she is good in using reverse psychology, so if she says "You don't want to stay in my house?" it makes me want to scream.

If that is how she will treat me (by cutting off my social life) then it will be easier fo rme to turn rebel.

Now I can only think of one way to change her mind about me. I will be an honor student! I will become more responsible, I will try to let go of my childishness, I will let go of my shyness! I will prove to her that I am worthy of being treated my age! I will prove that I can handle myself on my own!

I will show everyone what I really am!
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Sunday, June 11, 2006

   To grow or not to grow
Summer's officially over and school officially starts, or in my case, college. College is said to be a main factor in one's life because it will determine your future or something like that. I'm actually kinda excited because I'm officially going to First Year College this Tuesday (actually, my class is from 3:00 pm- 6:00 pm, talk about over sleeping on your first day of school), and I was hoping that I could aim for honors (pls. oh pls. i hope that its possible)

Just last Saturday, my friend Chris celebrated her 18th birthday by having a debut which was masquerade themed. Yesterday, I went to a debut of my other friend (which is not that close, although I'm surprised that she invited me) which was Bollywood style, and I think I'll be invited again to another debut this July, which is in fact a double debut as two of my classmates who are best friends celebrate their 18th birthdy toghether. Seeing all my friends take a step towards adulthood makes me proud to be their friend. I can't wait for the time when I have a debut (anime theme is out of the question no matter how deeply I love anime), I'll invite my new college friends, my old classmates, some of my old batchmate, teachers (old and new), and other friends. I just hope that after two years, we would still be united as if we have never been apart. By the time I become 18, everyone is already twenty and second year college would have ended already (come to think of it, I hope my classmates would have time to attend my debut seeing as it is during the finals)...ah the curse of being the youngest, being treated like a kid and being the last bloomer.

When the time comes for my debut, I wanna reunite my old class once again and converse with each other as if we have never been apart. I wanna have a great, no...a grand blowout with all my friends. Why wait for 10 years to have a reunion when you can just wait two years?

I find it so hard to let go of my class and my high school life. I've grown so close to my classmates and my teachers, they're like my second family. I just want to be with them always; but it is naive of me to think that we will be together forever, because we won't.

Would we still remember each other after 10 years? 20 years? 30 years? I have to let go sooner or later...that's why...I don't want to grow up yet...but that's impossible.
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