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• 1722-07-27
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• Female
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Member Since
• 2008-01-18
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• Incubator Instigator
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• SZ

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• Not frying my brain
Anime Fan Since
• 7th or 8th grade
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• Evangelion. Death Note.
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• Create new steampunk way for a lobotomy.
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• Playing guitar, writing, drawing, cutting& dyeing hair, making clothes.
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• Those would be my hobbies




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myOtaku.com: SepiaZombie


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I am Hurricane Natrika :(
Got my second tattoo on saturday, the 24th.
Called up James to get the hook up n hang out n stuff. But I guess now I've been calling on him too much to hang, because well with our history, things always get... intimate & close. It's hard not to be like that with him, but he's said it's taking a toll on him because he thought I was leading him back, and I'm not. I feel like an ass, like I've been playing with his head & heart. N i guess i knew I have been, but because I found out I do still care somewhere, I better quit.
I feel like I'm holding him back, from moving on, which idk if he ever will, or if I want him to.
But that indecisiveness in me is what's fucking things up. He's right, from what he told me when we first broke up. I'm pretty much a mind fuck, but I'm mind fuckn myself at the same time too. I should just let things be when I feel like that, instead of adding fuel to the fire.

I'm also rly contradicted with school and work. I quit one job, and ended up dropping a class too. I kind of regret dropping the class, but I'm so unsure of myself if I can do it, working close to 40 hrs a week.
I'm so unsure of myself in general with decisions. Especially with dropping a class as a reckless decision.
I'm on edge from being so swamped, overwhelmed. Unstable. And pretty depressed about it.

I just don't know what I want. Or what I should do. I feel like Hurricane Natrika because I've made things so complicated, on the outside and on the inside. I want to just take a hiatus from everyone.. which is kinda what I'll be doing anyway with me being so busy the next few weeks. But it's driving me crazy and making me sad & lonely.
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