Tuesday, June 28, 2005

   Have you ever felt alone, like no ones there?
I have. I went through that time where all i ever thought about was trying to kill myself.I would think about cuttin to get rid of the pain.What im about to say... is something i havent even told my best friend...i did cut. it helped...im not saying it doesnt, for me it helped take away the pain for a little while and helped me to stop thinking about how i thought of the world. i thought the whole world was against me, so my grades were slipping and i pushed everyone away. when i was at school i acted as if everything was fine and normal. it wasnt. i was hurtin.I hated everything and everyone and thought no one cared about me, but now i know im not alone. I have a wonderful boyfriend and the best friends a girl could ever have. So im never alone or without someone who really loves and cares about me. Im so lucky to be alive right now cause if it wasnt for them, i wouldnt be here right now to tell you this. Do me one favor. Dont look upon me anymore and judge this person you dont know. For if you only stopped and took atleast a minute out of your day to get to know someone, you might actually be helpin. So really...i guess what im tryin to say is, no matter what someone looks like...you should never judge them, they may be just like you.



If u have any questions or comments about this dont hesitate to tell me, wheather its good or bad.
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Saturday, June 25, 2005

   JOSH GRACIN LYRICS
"Brass Bed"

Baby, the clock on the wall is lying
It's not really that late
It's too cold outside to be walking around
the streets of this town
Anywhere if you think you have to be can wait

[chorus]
(Baby) Why don't you stay with me
Share all your secrets tonight
We can make believe the morning sun never will rise
Come and lay your head on this big brass bed
And we'll be alright as long as you stay with me, yeah

Baby, there's just no use in hiding
The way that I am feeling right now
With you standing there baby I swear I can't help but stare
Girl you're wearing me out, wearing me out

[chorus]
(Baby) So why dont you stay with me share all your secrets tonight
We can make believe
the morning sun never will rise
Come and lay your head on this big brass bed
We'll be alright as long as you stay with me

[Bridge]
Baby don't go it looks like it's starting to rain
And it's so warm here in this apartment wrapped up in this blanket

[Repeat chorus]

Stay with me

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LYFE LYRICS
"Must Be Nice"

[1st Verse:]
Must be nice
Having someone who understands the life you live
Must be nice
Having someone who's slow to take and quick to give
Must be nice
Having someone who sticks around when the rough times get thick
someone who's smile is bright enough to make the projects feel like a mansion
Must be nice
Having someone who loves you despite your faults
Must be nice
Having someone who talks the talk but also walks the walk
Must be nice
Having someone who understands that a thug has feelings too
someone who loves you for sho'
you just remember to never let 'em go

[Chorus:]
Even when your hustling days are gone
She'll be by your side still holding on
Even when those 20's stop spinning
and all those gold-digging women disappear
she'll still be here

[2nd Verse:]
Must be nice
Having someone you can come home to from a long day of work
Must be nice
Having someone you don't have to show they know exactly where it hurts
Must be nice
Having someone who trusts you despite what they've heard
Someone as mighty as a lion but still as gentle as a bluebird
Must be nice
Having someone you don't have to tell you don't want to be alone
Must be nice
Having someone you can grow old with until God calls ya'll home
Must be nice
Having someone who understands that a thug has feelings too
someone who loves you for sho'
you just remember to never let 'em go

[Chorus]
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   ok. this is a very new poem i just wrote today.
its called:
Tears of a dreamer

My mind overflows with these thoughts
I want them to stop
But i caused myself such grief and pain
So why do i keep toturing myself with old memories
Why am i even here
So i deserve to live
My diseased soul dies
And my heart starts to leak crimson tears
But its the highest price i must pay
To atlast be happy
To be free of mt pain and sorrow
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   i need help comin up with a title for this one
i begged and i pleaded
for u not to go
but u left me here all alone
in my shadows that continues to grow
i was heartbroken
and my darkness consumes my shattered soul
hatred grows more and more everyday
memories torments my mind
ive been betrayed by myself
my heart is cold and bleeds from the sorrow
so i must stay away from u
my pain
but u are my torniquet
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this os for Dante of Thren
this song is called"Call Me, Call Me"-Steve Conte
(From Cowboy Bebop, session 24)
I close my eyes and I keep seeing things
Rainbow waterfalls
Sunny liquid dream

Confusion creeps inside me raining doubt
Got to get to you
But I don't know how

Call me, call me
Let me know it's alright
Call me, call me
Don't you think it's 'bout time
Please won't you call and

Ease my mind
Reasons for me to find you
Peace of mind
What can I do
To get me to you?

I had your number quite some time ago
Back when we were young
But I had to grow

Ten thousand years I've searched it seems and now
Got to get to you
Won't you tell me how?

Call me, call me
Let me know you are there
Call me, call me
I wanna know you still care
Come on now won't you

Ease my mind
Reasons for me to find you
Peace of mind
What can I do
To get me to you?

Come on now won’t you
Ease my mind
Reasons for me to find you
Peace of mind
Reasons for living my life
Ease my mind
Reasons for me to know you
Piece of mind
What can I do
To get me to you?

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Thursday, June 23, 2005

   im an evil bitch aint i, but hey, i have my reasons
my heart he ripped
and threw away
his words i kept
and resaid everyday
i thought i loved him
but he never loved me
i followed him everywhere
but he always left me
behind in the shadows
and out in the rain
his words brought tears to my eyes
and so much pain
every last word he said
as he stood in front of her
he said with hate
and inside me grew deep dark anger
he made me cry all alone in my room
while i thought of suicide
my mind betrayed me
as it said things of hate and doom
i knew them to be false
and im not sure why
i could ever believe it
but my mind said they were true
so now i look at his lifeless body
with a smile on my face
i've done what i wanted to accomplish
i killed him and now i'll kill you!!

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   drama
so many unspoken words
and too many lies
i walk umong them
but my feelings i hide
so much to say
so little time
no one to listen
so here i lie
in a pool of blood
that doesnt belong
to anyone else
while they sing a sad song
they mourn my death
they cry they're tears
but no one will know
how i longed to be here
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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

inuyasha is well mine sorta...

Certificate of Marriage This is to certify that nikki + Inu Yasha were married on the 23th day of June 2005 ~~~~~~ MYFC ~~~~~~

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mine too

Certificate of Marriage This is to certify that nikki + Shinichi Kudo were married on the 23th day of June 2005 ~~~~~~ MYFC ~~~~~~

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