Thursday, October 28, 2004

   Kyyaaaaa
Wow my!! Long time no update!!!

Well, short one: I added some wallpapers, Samurai Deeper Kyo ones. So if you like go see ^^ I'll be adding more Naruto oens in a while.

And second: the animanga-con was THE BEST!! XD I got a lotta stuff and made a lotta friends. I'll explain properly when I come back from uni...

Yes I have to go uni now: 6:52 am T_T

Bye bye!
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Friday, October 22, 2004

   [ Animanga-con! ]
Starting tomorrow. I'm working there ^^ Yosh!! It's the first year of this animanga-con actually... so let's hope it's successful!! *crosses fingers*

Thanks a lot for your comments hehe Actually I talked to her - after almost killing her - but I think she'll kinda try to take him "away" from me... Anyway... I'm just trying to make sure Cloud... loves me... *lol* This may sound stupid... I feel so pathetic... trying to make sure he lvoes me... oh my, I've never done something like that before... well, that can mean I'm really... in lvoe? *blinks* wow...

Anyway, me has to go get things ready for tomorrow!! I'll tell you how it goes - if you want ^^

Ja neeeee!!
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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

[ Explanation... ]
XD Lol guys! I think you got it wrong...

Ok lemme see: Isilme loves Cloud. I love Cloud. She didn't know Cloud loves me back. I told her. She started hitting herself. And then seh shouted at me, in the middle of the uni corridor - that Cloud only loved me becuase I met him first.

Now, comment on that XD
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   Everything sucks
You know, I already knwo what am I gonna ask for my bday... a new me. Maybe, a new me is able to stand more backstabbing and lies, 'cause I really don't think I'm able to stand it any longer.

What's new? Oh funny thing. I love Cloud, Cloud loves me. Isilme tells me to introduce him to her. I didn't want to 'cause Iknew what would happen. But I had to, 'cause if not I'd be a fucking bad friend. Adn what did I know? That she was gonna fall in love with him. And so it happened. And now of course, one of the things she told me after hitting herself was that Cloud lvoes me becuase I met him first.

Do you really think that's friendship?
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Friday, October 15, 2004

   [ Fucked up ]
Do I have to blog? Really, do I? Hmm I don’t feel like doing it. I mean, I feel left behind again… Everybody. It looks like as if I don’t have the right to get mad at someone when that someone has done something really bad and has hurt me a lot. But no, sweet Aya has to be sweet always, and she can’t’ get mad nor depressed. That’s up to her friends, they can be normal, but Aya simply can’t. WTF!? I’m human too, and id I fucking want to be mad I’ll be mad, and if I want to hate the world I will…

This is just getting on my nerves. I am broken. I feel like shit, and this is all thanks to them. Mainly thanks to Neko and some other person who says I don’t have the right to be mad. WTF!!?? After what he did, lie to me twice in a row, when the things he was hiding had to do with me? Oh come on, of course I can’t get mad, I should just blow him up!!

Ok, I shouldn’t be paying this with you guys… it’s just that this is the only place they don’t know about, and therefore the only place where I can really explode… Why can’t I explode right in their faces? Oh because Aya is so evil… she’s so purely evil…

I’m fucked up…
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Wednesday, October 13, 2004

   [ New Domain ]
Ha Ha Ha!! Got the new domain up!! Shinya's a lazy butt and he left all the job to me :stare: Anyway, I'm pretty proud of the layout, ya know, as it's a pressie for

Cloud

^^ Thanks a lot for the domain sweetie *clings*

So, go have a look!!! >>

Silent Child

<< And tell me what you think!! Oh and if you want... it's not up yet, but well:

Butterfly's Dream

, my blog. I only have the "coming soon" thigny up hehe I have the layout and everythign already, I only need to blog ^^ And well, I'm too lazy. I'm blogging here actually... so probably I'll be doing so in the blog tonight ^^

Well gotta go ^^

Ja ne!
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Friday, October 8, 2004

New layout at Butterfly's Dream [coming soon] ...
*nods* I'm aboug to upload a new layout at Butterfly's Dream. I know, I said the Toshiya one would last forever, but the CSS was being a pain and so I decided to: change the css or hange the layout and the css. And I was in the mood of a Die wallpaper and I eded up having a layout XD I showed it to Meilin and she said she "almost die of Die sezzyness" XD And I agree. I dunno, it's one of my beat graphics...

Yesterday I got to talk to Ashley!!! She was my exchange student 2 years ago and I miss her to death!! And I finally could talk to her. She sent me a recent pic of hers and man she hasn't changed at all. She has this mischievous face ^^

Tomorrow we're having a party. Bday party. Angele's ^^ And well, we are supposed to dress up as... well ,as whatever we want. Shinya is gonna drees up as a kind of Geisha *lol* Well, something like that... I can't picture that but it's ok... XD And I had no idea, till I had a lucky strike yesterday: I found a tiny-mini-transparent black dress, and I'm gonna add some laces and stripes of leather and pale make up with tribal symbols... and now that I think about it, I'm gonna look Mana-like... kinda XD You happy, Cloud? ^^

Well I have to go to the doctor today, and then shopping hehe It's fun!!
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Wednesday, October 6, 2004

Man, I can't have a title for every single entry I make! *lol*

Yesterday I went shopping with Shinya. We planned to go to Factory, a very cheap mall, but what happened? That the fucking mall is next to the airport, which is not that far from where we live, but still, pretty far, and teh bus which is supposed to take you there for free didn't show up!! We were there waiting for an hour!! And it just didn't come :stare: So we ended up in another mall. Los Arcos, and I bought 2 t-shirts, some Pucca socks and some Japanese stickers ^^ Shinya also got the socks the stickers and some earrings.

I just updated my journal at Gaia... oh and I've also changed colors and everything here. It needed a change, didn't it?

I made some Dir en grey wallpapers and posted them on the Diru Guild at Gaia, 'cause I doubt any of you like Dir en Grey... They say they like them ^^

Anyway me has to go... I have to read a stupid article for a stupid subject...
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Saturday, October 2, 2004

Back...
Me ish really sowwie I've been away not updating... But well, who cares actually? Who bothers coming here and checking if I'm still alive? haha no one, so therefore I shouldn't be sowwie... beh I don't mind.

I've been away 'cause I needed a rest after finals, and then because I only had a week free before university started again, and now because uni has started and I wanna die XXD I have already chosen my most hated subject: Lingüistics... it's not the subject... it's the teacher: he's just like my uncle: so philosophical, esoterical... so... grandilocuent... and most of all: he says nothing ¬¬ Why is he a teacher? Grrr I will fail... ¬¬ NO I WON'T! NOT AGAIN!! I'LL PASS!!!

Hmm I'm watching Naruto. I love Kakashi. I made a wallpaper of him and I can't but rool over it. He just rawks. My friend Neko is just so obsessed with Kakashi too, why? 'Cause Kakashi is Virgo, like him *sighs* *goes check if there's a Sagittarius* Is there any? Oh well...

I'm workign on a fic... no, not yaoi one. And it's in Spanish. Room 304, yeah the name is like a Dir en Grey song, but it's just that I love it and it is very important in the fic. The characters are based on Dir en Grey too: Kyo (Kyo), Hatori (totchi), Shinya (Shinya lol), Kamui (Die) and Sasuke (Kaoru). And the girl just rocks... poor girl, I'm gonna make her suffer a lot T_T

Anyway gotta go update the fanlistings... I added - well, Cloud did it for me, 'cause I try but it doesn't work when I do it!! T_T - the phpfanbase... and it's driving me nuts!
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Friday, September 17, 2004

I'M FXXKIN MAD!!!
Been a long time!!! I didn't feel like blogging. Why? Lotta reasons... Sad...

First of all, remember the English exam, the one with the funny listening? Well, she failed me. Yes, I didn't fail - she failed me. Actually she failed the whole class - again. And I don't know what the hell to do! I've studied a lot, I knew all the answers, I was pretty happy when I finished the exam! What should I do? Go beg ehr & kiss her ass!? I ain't like that! I'm not gonna do that, no fucking way. I'll go talk to her, and if it doesn't work then I'll do the Kaoru (Dieu) Kaoru: katana + neck = my happiness. I think she didn't have enough with the other "accident" she had... But well the positive thign is that dad didn't get mad, he seemed to understand...

And the second reason: my so called friends. What's this time? Well, basically the same thing: lies. But this time it hurts me more than ever. Because I liked him... I was starting to like him... and he lied. He's hiding something - which I know already. He just can't pretend to hide that. It's somethign you can't hide. C'mon. If you're realizing you're "turning" bisexual... as much as you want you can't hide it from the one you said to be your one of your best friends. And I don't give a damn if he's bisexual or not! Couldn't care less (I think all my friends are... am I the only oen left? ^^) Teh thing is that, Yuki, Fran and Isilme know it already, and he didn't tell me. Come on, he just met Yuki and Fran 3 months ago and he told them!! I ain't saying they're not worth it, 'course they are, I love them, but... it's just... As if I was stupid or something 'cause Isilme told me he said (he= Neko) told her he was gonna tell me "gradually"... WTF!!?? What am I!? I'm pretty... nah, I ain't mad... I'm just... down. Depressed. Extremely sad. I feel so "nothing"...

This is a kinda depressing entry... well, not so depressing, I was worse yesterday. And Isilme managed so that we meet today and talk... I told her I didn't give a damn if she told him that I liked him... I was feeling cruel. Ya, pretty cruel and evil. She told him and when I saw Isilme yesterday she said that Neko hadn't slept and eaten at all. Can't say I felt sorry... I think it was about time that I acted selfishly and thought about myself. I'm suffering, so much... a tiny bit of suffering won't kill him. Oh and you know what? We're - the three of us - memebrs of a funny forum, Gaia, and he PMed me sayign this and that (that he felt sorry blah blah) and at the end he said "I love you"... Do you really think Ican believe that? Not now, sorry...

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